How to light a fire

Photos to be included soon.

When I was a lad we didn’t have any fancy central heating and radiators, oh no. Coal fire in the front room and a Rayburn (think cheap Aga) in the dining room. The Rayburn was always on and in winter we would move the tv into the dining room so there was only one room to heat. As soon as you got out of bed or the bath you’d run to the dining room as quick as you could.
The only winter day in the lounge was Christmas day. We’d move the tv back for the day and the tree and presents would be in there. It was my job to start the coal fire in the lounge. It was nice to have the responsibility.
I’m worried that starting a fire is a dying skill. Mind you it’s just not really needed anymore. Central heating and all that! Unlike, say, changing a wheel, surely all people can and have done this for practice but people I’ve spoken to have no idea about this. I will be doing this for fun with my sons when they are older.
So the easiest way to get a fire going requires a little time to set up but you save time in the long run having to start again.
Take some news paper, lay it flat and then gather up along the fold line so it’s bow shaped and then fold in half and put these pieces under the grate (these are the bits you light).
Now take more newspaper and lay it flat. Then roll into a pipe about 2cm in diameter along a diagonal of the rectangle. Now take your tube and tie it in a loose knot and even out the circle. Place these on top of the grate to cover the surface. These will light the kindling.
The kindling should be places in a check pattern on top of the paper circles. A couple of layers should be enough.
Lastly get some coal, without too much dust, and place a layer evenly on the kindling. The kindling should be placed so no lumps of coal can fall onto the paper circles. That’s it!
Get a match and light the paper under the grate in a few places and your fire will start beautifully.

On Demand

So, I’m sitting with #1 watching some episodes of Dipdap on BBC iPlayer using the PS3. Just thinking how lucky the youth of today are! No waiting for tv shows, films or fast forwarding video cassettes!
When I was a child in the 1970s and 80s there were only 3 channels on tv although that didn’t matter because tv started at 3 in the afternoon. Breakfast tv hadn’t begun and the day wasn’t filled with shows about buying and selling houses because daytime tv didn’t exist. We also had a black and white valve tv which you had to turn on 10 minutes before you wanted to watch it to allow it to warm up.
I remember watching the start of Channel 4 and seeing the first episode of Countdown. I also remember the start of breakfast tv which was pretty rubbish. Also, the start of channel 5, which I saw in Manchester, was pretty rubbish. Now I have Sky and about 500 channels that I don’t watch and about 8 channels that I do.
These days I can watch tv on my PS3 and see catch up tv streamed over the Internet. I can watch live tv on my iPhone and all the catch up services on that too.
All this means my sons will never have to wait for a tv show or worry that they’ve missed the latest episode of their favourite show. Quite stunning the changes that have occurred really. 3 channels on part time to hundreds of channels and on demand. Utter brilliance!

A Gift

A gift from a submariner uncle to his nephew. A set of Royal Navy Submariner Dolphins. I’m sure #1 will love it.

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Annual Camp

So, for many years I was involved with the Air Cadets. I joined the band of 309 (Sawbridgeworth) Sqn when I was twelve and a half and then joined the squadron properly when I was thirteen and a half. I left when I went to university when I was 19, although I did two stints as a Civilian Instructor. I look back fondly on my time in the cadets and had so many great experiences that I think it really changed my outlook on life during my formative years. I’ll do another more comprehensive post about my cadet career another time but this post is just to list the official annual camps I attended.

  • 1986 RAF Coltishall
  • 1987 RAF Brize Norton
  • 1988 RAF Coningsby
  • 1989 RAF Swanton Morley
  • 1991 RAF Waddington
  • 1993 RAF Manston (attended as a CI)

Also in 1988 I attended a two week camp at RAF Akrotiri in Cyprus.

A Conversation

No, this is not my classic 1994 poem “A Conversation with Myself” this is a text conversation I had over a few days with a friend.

With you on that. Thinking of getting 2 or 3 classical CDs. For when I’m marking books. Any ideas?

Carmina Burana (omen). Planets suite (am I evil). Ride of the valkerys (apocalypse now). There is cd call heavy classics which is not bad.

There’s a particularly ominous jingle played on freethought radio that I’m humming to people to work out what it is. Got Planets already, how is it I am evil?

The opening of am I evil is Mars from the planets done on guitars. Other good ones: night on Bear Mountain and Danse Macabre.

What! How did I not know that? Over 20 years of listening to it and only now I find out it’s clever!

Haha! I read it somewhere and then it clicked!

Fuck me. Just done the same. Utter brilliance. Btw have you heard S&M by Metallica?

S&M? I’ve heard some: didn’t like it. I can see how the two could complement each other, but not how they had done it  The strings seemed too high pitched and detracted from the deep guitars. Sounded like a gimmick and a throw back to 70s prog rock! Also a lot of was new stuff that is crap!

Agree. I heard snippets and thought it was shit. Also, not impressed with Metallica as possibly cancelling tour next summer because of currency worries! Wankers.

How far have they gone from being alternative?  And Megadeth getting all religous? And Slayer apparently. Seems only Anthrax remain unchanged from the big 4.

You have to change to survive if you don’t have tons of money. We work to survive. It’s politicians who need to act on principles for the better of all. We are shall cogs! They have the chance to change things but won’t because of compromise.

Capitalism is dying?

Politicians are only there to look after their own and them selves. Look at them on Question Time! Full of shit and we vote for them. Don’t see a decent one there. Is capitalism dying? No, it’s evolving. I expect companies to take over from countries as the next step.

Interesting idea about companies. I hope not. Companies responsible to shareholders are essentially immoral. Maybe Jamie not voting is right? Should always be able to vote for “none of the above”. Mind you Belgium has coped without a government. Civil service just keeps grinding on. Perhaps I should invent moral economics. Governments as proper partnerships like John Lewis?

I agree with companies not being moral, but then through funding they control politics anyway. I think there should be a new politics, less weasel words. Or at least someone with vision. Your idea sounds good though.

Revolution time then? I’ll get my flag out. Perhaps the next wars will be over economics (or have they all been that recently anyway?). Quite like the aims of UK Uncut. Secrecy is a big factor in wealth. Perhaps we should have politicians who go after that. Going to need a beer in a bit! Blood pressure going up and my rant might last days! Can start influencing the next generation at work.

This economic crisis will change things. And I think for the worse. Companies and the rich will escape while the rest suffer. If only China really believed in socialism!

Agree with you there, and on pretty much everything else. Mind you we are establishment so how do we kick start the “evolving” process? Perhaps the youth will kick off as unemployment gets worse.

On a brighter side: are you going to see Dragon Tattoo?

Want to see Dragon Tattoo: David Fincher and Trent Reznor?! Of course. But don’t think I’ll get the chance.

It’s dark

Many recent blog posts means lots of time? Wrong!
I’m sitting in the dark making sure son #2 doesn’t roll off the bed. Both sons are asleep and we’ll get them up in a bit but #2 is on the bed and I don’t want him to crash to the floor. It is nice and quiet at the moment but #1 is stirring and that’ll be the end of “time I can’t do anything useful and I’m bored of Angry Birds so I’ll jot some posts”.
The kids are great but I sometimes miss the routine of the same thing every day. We now spend our time wondering whether to wake them up, feed them, play with them, let them watch tv, bathe them, put them to bed, drive them to sleep, get the colouring pens out, go shopping, see the animals, do some throwing in the air, tickle them or sleep ourselves. It’s brilliant and exciting.

Twitter and buses

Twitter followers are like buses. You don’t get any for ages and then along come two old friends all at once.
Nice to hear from you Pom – going to be a regular tweeter?
Good to get Daffyd following me. Perhaps my website will get more views.
Now I just need about a million more and I’ll be just like Stephen Fry, although without the tv career, writing abilities, height and coolness.

Range Rover

So, too much to write about recently and not enough time. Anyway here’s a long sorry short: been trying to buy a nicely coloured Range Rover model for a gift. Gold, dark blue or black would suit. Good news: Play.com have gold RR for sale and reduced in price. Order it. Check it after arrival and it’s red and a mid 90s model. Organise the return because picture on Play.com website was gold. Order another RR from Amazon.co.uk and although full price it says Range Rover Sport Gold Edition with a picture of a gold RR newer edition. It arrives and upon checking it’s red. So now going to return that one for a refund. I get the feeling that they don’t actually check the products and pictures because the red Range Rover is from the Gold Collection of the model company.
Poor work Internet shopping companies. Going to head to a Range Rover dealer and buy one from them!

Perfect Dessert

Today I come in praise of the humble Tunnock’s Tea Cake.

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I have decided it is probably the perfect dessert. For me food must be chewy (soup is a no no) and have a range of textures. A dessert should be sweet, contain chocolate and satisfy the cravings after savoury food.

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The Tunnock’s Tea Cake combines marshmallow, biscuit and chocolate. It is also mouth sized and so eatable whole. The textures are perfect. Just enough crunch and chew to make the whole experience uniquely fulfilling. The fact that it can be chomped whole makes it better and gets over the occasional problem of flakes of chocolate dropping from the tea cake as you bite into it. Of course, quite brilliantly it can be eaten as part of a calorie controlled diet and is low in radioactive particles and high in energy (food marketing is pure BS).
The world should give thanks (in a secular way just like Obama on Thanksgiving) for the Tunnock’s Tea Cake. It’s exactly what made Britain Great!

Holiday in Australia – 2006

A run down of what we did in summer 2006. Photos here.

July 2006

25 Leave Heathrow to Brisbane via Singapore
27 Arrive Brisbane, Mount Coot-tha, ants in phone
28 Mount Nebo, Mount Glorious for lunch, Queensland Raceway (Ipswitch), The Gap shopping, travel to Rainbow Sands via Gimpia
29 Car hire – Rainbow Beach, Ferry – Inskip Point, Lake Boomanjin, Lake Birrabeen (the best), Lake McKenzie, Eurong Second Valley
30 Maheno wreck, Lake Allom, Boomerang Lake, beach drive to ferry, beach drive around Inskip Point to Rainbow Beach
31 Glass House Mountains, Australia Zoo,

August 2006

1 Mount Glorious for lunch, Brisbane centre by bus, Sun Corp Piazza, Plough Inn, San Marco (dinner)
2 Lone Pine Koala Sanctuary. Surfer’s Paradise, lunch – burger, Ben Elton at Queensland Performing Arts Centre
3 Fly to Sydney, land at 13:45, cab to Hotel Stellar, dinner at Circular Quay
4 Blue Mountains: Govett’s Leap, Scenic World, Three Sisters, Pie at bakehouse (Leura), Table Top View, Olympic village and stadium,ferry to Circular Quay, dinner in the Subway on Oxford St
5 Sydney SkyTower, Oz Trek, Pasta lunch at Grinders Coffee, The Hanging of Jean Lee at the Sydney Opera House
6 Ferry from Circular Quay to Rose Bay, seaplane flight to Cottage Point, Lunch at cottage point Fritata, quai. Beef, venison. Poached pears, creme brulee. Flight over harbour to Rose Bay. Ferry back
7 Drink at pub, WW won $34. Sydney Harbour Bridge climb, train from Circular Quay to museum stop (moving seats)
8 Fly to Ayres Rock land at 12:40. Sounds of silence dinner
9 Bus to Uluru, walked around ¾ of Uluru, Mount Conner in 4×4
10 Fly to Melbourne arrive 14:30. Casino and dinner by the river
11 Lunch at PMs. Tram into town and see Essenden Bombers play Aussie Rules at the MCG
12 Great Ocean Road. Bell’s Beach, Erskine Falls, Teddy’s Lookout, Grey’s Road Koalas, Lunch at Apollo Bay, Helicopter flight over the 12 Apostles, London Bridge, Loch Ard Grove
13 Breakfast at Velvet Bar, motorbike racing at Phillip Island circuit. The Nobbies, Penguin Parade
14 Watched Munich and V for Vendetta
15 Ramsey Street, Lunch at Hillsville, Green Point Chandon Vineyard
16 Lunch at Tall Ships Cafe, Tram into town, observation deck Rialto Tower
17 Arthur’s Seat, Cape Schanck, leave Melbourne fly to Heathrow via Hong Kong
18 Arrive Heathrow 14:00