The Devil Put Dinosaurs Here – Alice In Chains

Alice In Chains are an awesome band. I find their music haunting and beautiful. I reckon that the first few albums are just brilliant and after that the newer albums seem to sound the same. If I want slow heavy ghostly rock then this is an album I’ll play. It’s a newer album to me and is therefore subject to the Old Dog problem.

Anything by this band is worth a listen.

Minister

I am an occasional follower of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. I love the way the church has answers to all the really hard questions to life and by giving these answers I don’t have to think about what worries me any more. I also don’t have to question those areas of knowledge anymore.

Touched

Recently I mentioned this church at my workplace and I was told that it wasn’t a “real” religion. I countered “define ‘real religion'”. It’s wonderful that when faced with a made up religion people suddenly question their own made-up religions. Ha Ha.

Anyway, it turns out that I am eligible to become ordained as a minister in the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. I can be a Pastafarian minister. I can’t wait. I am really looking forward to this.

By it for me now by clicking here.

Hopefully, once I become ordained I can then apply to perform ceremonies like marriage and naming parties. Excellent.

Combichrist – Electrowerkz

Saturday 21 December. A date that will live in my memory and on this communication. Andy and I travelled to The Angel to see Combichrist at Electrowerkz venue.

This is the running order, taken after I went to the “rest rooms”.

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The whole venue was a bit weird. Pretty much a dark room in a strange building with a bar and unisex toilets. The black painted walls were painted with phrases and sayings and my favourite was the one that said “Hadley’s Hope” – the terraforming city on LV426 in the film Aliens. The mixing desk was hanging from the ceiling and the bottom edge of this construction was just at head height.

The first band on were shit. I reckon my staff band at work were better than them. They said they were from Coventry. Not sure if that’s a causation thing or not.

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One of the things about listening to the type of music I like now is that the whole musician thing is constantly questioned. The eighteen year old me would hate me. I like electronic music which can be played using a laptop. Das Kapital (below) had three laptops and bopped around behind them. My issue with this is that although I might enjoy the music I don’t understand the creation process. Surely if your music is samples and drum tracks why don’t you just press play? Perhaps I need to see more of this type of music created. If only there was a festival dedicated to alternative music, somewhere like in Kettering next year.

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Combichrist consisted of two people. Singer and mixer-dude. They were very good. It was brilliant to hear the old songs played – the gig was billed as the Old School Electro Set. I didn’t take any photos as I was about two rows back from the very front. As much as it ashames me I held my hand up and got to hold hands with the singer twice. I am such a teenager.

Songs I remember them playing:

  • Body Beat
  • Blut Royale
  • This S*it Will Fcuk You Up
  • Like To Thank My Buddies
  • Electrohead

There were others and I am sure I could find them if I searched the internet thingy but I can’t be bothered.

Andy gave this gig a 10. I am bordering on 10 but at the moment more than likely it is: 9.9 < r < 10. Don’t know why, there was just a little something missing and I’m not sure what that was.

One Of My Favourites

Ever since I raced this car in Gran Turismo I have always started the game with the Honda Integra Type R as my first car. I love it. Here’s my latest one from GT6 [just after a car wash]

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I seem to remember one game in the series where I had to get a Civic Type R initially but soon bought my Integra.

Moonset

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It’s such a shame that my iPhone camera doesn’t do very well in the low light. The moon has been gorgeous these last few mornings. A full moon and setting. Brilliant.

I’m amused by effects of our eyes on our perception of reality. To me, when I looked at the moon it seemed much larger than in the photo. My eyes and brain do a really good job of ignoring all the stuff I’m not interested in. To me, this view was mostly the moon and tree. My brain just chose to ignore all the houses and car. It will really freak you out once you start understanding perception of reality. We observe so little of what we see.

Compromise

Here’s the thing. Where I work has some rooms with lovely views. Here’s the view from my normal classroom:

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As you can see, the view from my classroom is dominated by mud. Mud and the sports hall. In terms of view, this room rather sucks. However, the selling points of the room are plentiful.

  • Cool in the summer
  • Cool in the winter
  • Nobody passes the room, there’s nowhere to go
  • Occasional wildlife, cats, squirrels, pigeons, dog
  • Quiet, there’s no where to go after my room and so I don’t get people walking by
  • Far away from anything else

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This room is in the same building and actually has a positive altitude in opposition to my room. The view over Maidstone is lovely and should be worth the effort of changing rooms. However, there are downsides to this room:

  • Hot in the summer (faces east)
  • Hot in the winter (faces east and at top of building)
  • Too bright
  • People can walk past the room to go to other rooms
  • Sometimes the view is just more interesting than the classroom.

The compromise is that although I would love a good view from my work room I value the other good things about my room more.

Int[(rand#)x10+1]x100+1

It would appear that if you have no idea what to get someone for Newtonmass then you MUST get a book with 1001 things you must do before you die.

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So, 1001 albums would take approximately 85 days worth of listening (daytime only) which is doable. But I’d probably hate most of the music.

There is no way I am going to read 1001 books recommended by someone else. I hardly have enough time to read all the books I want let alone read a load I don’t care for.

Films, yeah whatever.

Comics, maybe, I’ll tell Jase.

1001 Golf Holes – really? There are that many worth playing. Gosh, the world is a little more boring than I originally thought.

Wines and beers, whatever.

Video games, maybe but 1001 of them? Nope.

Guitars, seriously? There have been 1001 guitars that are considered important enough to put into a list Oh, give me strength.

1001 days that shaped the world. I can see that making sense, but I do wonder from whose perspective it is drawn.

Paintings, if they move you then good. If not then they aren’t for you. Relax and don’t care.

Cars and buildings are much like paintings and art, it’s made to move you and ultimately I ain’t going to spend time reading this book.

Look, if you have no idea what to get someone then get them a book telling them there’s too much to do in this pathetic little life that we have on this dying planet.

 

The Desolation Of Smaug

It’s a long time since I read The Hobbit. All I can remember is that it is about Bilbo Baggins and that there is a ring involved. So my impressions of the film are not contaminated by things like accuracy to the book.

This was the first ever film I have seen in IMAX 3D HFR and it looked absolutely brilliant. I am just so impressed with what the thing looks like. I loved the film. The 160 minutes passed really quickly and I was fascinated and enthralled for the whole thing.

There were a few places where I think the HFR acted against the “look” of the film. The first film looked oddly “other worldly” during the bright daytime scenes and I think that’s something we can get used to. There were a couple of shots during the Barrel Escape set piece that I thought looked like 1970s special effects on TV. The problem is I can’t explain what I mean by that.

I can’t wait for my children to be old enough to cope with the spiders, dragon, orcs and Sauron. This film was brilliant. I’m so looking forward to watching the three Star Wars films and also the six Middle Earth films.

Brilliant.

Not Sensible

Made a coffee earlier and also needed to get into my “race seat” [a sofa and Logitech Driving Force GT Wheel].
Placed my coffee on the steering wheel stand which is not sensible given the way the wheel calibrates itself and checks the force feedback systems!
Luckily I didn’t get covered!

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How That Music Used To Make Me Smile

I have mention my college times before in these communications and I thought I would now share a photograph of me during one of my proudest events.

This was taken at the Engineer’s Ball in 1994 (I am pretty sure it was 1994). I was Spanner Bearer for the academic year 1993/1994.

If you want to know more about mascotry then take a look at these pages.

CGCU Mascots
CGCU Mascots

A Plea

Put quite simply and without much fanfare:

I would like the drivers in Kent to use their indicators on roundabouts.

The rest of this communication is me making my point but with an associated rant too. Feel free to skip it all. In fact I recommend you skip all the twaddle below.

The main routes I travel around mid-Kent have plenty of roundabouts and navigating these safely is quite a task. Many have lanes marked where most people don’t follow those lanes, in my opinion because the way the lanes are labelled makes it nigh on impossible to drive smoothly (The Running Horse roundabout is a prime example). Also, conversely, many roundabouts have sensible lanes marked and people don’t seem to understand the writing on the roads and why the car in the left lane might be turning right.

Here’s a guide and some specific rants:

Roundabouts

 Roundabout A

A229 and M20 Eastbound interface. This is a curious one which has two lanes for turning right when leaving the M20 eastbound. There is a filter lane on the left to head towards Chatham. There have been plenty of occasions when drivers fail to notice the filter lane and stop at the roundabout waiting for there to be a space in the traffic. This is not the worst offence and actually understandable. You people are forgiven.

Roundabout C

The M20 and the A249 roundabout. My general impressions of this roundabout are that people cut lanes and don’t indicate or if they do it’s to address the problem of being in the wrong lane in the first place. Most of these offences seem to take place at rush hour and I guess people think they will save time by rushing and lane hopping. The issue is that you don’t really save time. You just increase your own stress, others’ stress and cause distress.

Roundabout D

This roundabout has been updated recently to make space for the Kent Institute of Medical Science or something similar. Generally this roundabout works well, however, I have noticed that some of the drivers coming from the Bearsted direction to travel towards the M20 (straight on) like to indicate right and then not cancel their indicator as they approach their turning. This is annoying.

Roundabout E

The not-quite J7 of the M20 roundabout. The road people recently wrote new lane instructions on the road here. They had to change the layout due to new roads and stuff on the A249 towards Maidstone. The new lane markings make excellent sense. It’s such a shame that many people who drive here seem unable to either read lane markings or actually drive and use indicators at the same time.

Roundabout F

This is not really a rant about the drivers on this roundabout although I have witnessed one crash here. The council or someone re-designed this roundabout about 5 years ago along with a new by-pass. The lanes don’t work as you have to swerve to make the correct lane as you travel around the circle. Also, when entering from Malling direction there is a ridge that bounces the car light as you travel over it. I first discovered the ridge when I was motorcycling, the rear went loose and I nearly lost control. It’s a very poor design.

Roundabout G

The M2 J3 roundabout. I would have to say that the general problem with this roundabout is, well, that’s interesting. I drew this onto the map but am not sure why. I know, let’s go for the general fact that it’s a roundabout and it’s in Kent, therefore people don’t understand the lanes or use their indicators.

Roundabout B

The Running Horse roundabout joining Penenden Heath to the A229 and the M20. Whoever designed the lanes on this roundabout never tried to drive them. The lanes do not follow a smooth arc around the traffic circle and in reality you have to swerve across lanes if you follow the road markings.
People do not indicate on this roundabout. This would improve matters. When they do indicate they seem to indicate to move off the roundabout one turn too early.
In the course of my time driving in these areas I would estimate (subject to confirmation bias) that I have seen 3 or 4 accidents here a year. And that’s just at the 5 or so minutes a day that wander here.

Trotting Badly

Suppose you are journeying from the A229 southbound to the M20 west bound. You would follow the route depicted above. What happens in reality is:

No indicators, no general lane control and head off to M20

This leaves all the drivers approaching from other routes not knowing where you are going and makes them wait whereas had some indication of travel been used the roundabout would flow much more smoothly.

What should happen is:

  • Start to indicate right at A and be in the right hand lane
  • At B start to move to the left and get ready to indicate left as you come level with Forstal Road
  • Exit the roundabout at D using either lane

Those who do use their indicators seem to start indicating left at point C which should mean that they are going down Forstal Road but this is not what happens most of the time.

This roundabout is dangerous. The lane markings on the road itself do not make for smooth progress around the traffic circle. People using the roundabout don’t use their indicators because they are clueless and people use the wrong approach lanes because it will save them a few seconds. Oh, I guess I should also state that people are generally twats and don’t think about their driving and how it affects others’ they just exist in their own cosy little warm world of their car.

I have decided that I shall not rant about driving any more on this website (I might tweet about it now and then) but it is not important enough to warrant my time. Oh, that and the fact that people don’t really read this stuff.

New Driving Tricks

When I was in hospital waiting for my first son to be born I went to the book shop to see if there was anything decent to read. I was not really expecting much but I did come across a gem.

Sports Car and Competition Driving – Paul Frere

This book has lots of pictures and diagrams but more importantly it has force diagrams and mathematics to explain the behaviour characteristics of cars. I haven’t finished reading it but I do intend to. I essentially hope it will make me a better racer in Gran Turismo.

Anyway, one paragraph has particularly stuck in my mind:

There is a strong tendency among drivers to use the steering wheel as a brace against the centrifugal force on bends and corners – a habit which prohibits any sensitivity for the steering. Instead, the driver should sit well back, and if necessary actually dig himself into the seat-back by pushing his body into it with his left foot, so as to get firm lateral support without the aid of the wheel.

So, now I am trying to change my driving habits. When I think a number of gear changes are needed in succession I tend to hover my left foot over the clutch pedal. If I am not using my left foot then I rest in on the floor.

NO MORE

I am now trying to place my left foot on the “rest” bit to the left of the clutch pedal so that I can (even if rarely needed) push my body into the seat-back so I can resist the lateral forces without hampering my steering.

Why?

Because I want to try and see if I can improve my driving technique. That’s why.

 

Oh, by the way, I already heel-and-toe.

Poppy Prize

I’ve recently been reminded of an incident from about 23 years ago. I probably think of this every year around Remembrance Day because it makes me chuckle.

As a teenager I was involved with the Air Cadets, or rather the Air Training Corps as we were then known. My loyalty lies with 309 (Sawbridgeworth) Sqn of the ATC as that is where I spent a lot of my time from age 12 1/2 (not officially) to around 30 [with a couple of breaks]. I attended the 25th anniversary meal of the Squadron being formed and next year I’ll be attending the 30th anniversary!

During 1990 I did the usual house-to-house collection for my squadron around the town of Sawbridgeworth for the poppy appeal. We normally did this on parade nights the few weeks before November 11th. This particular year I also happened to be dating a member of 1096 (Bishop’s Stortford) Sqn and for a laugh I joined her squadron on their door-to-door collection as their parade night was different.

So, it turns out that I won some sort of trophy at 1096 Sqn for collecting the most money for their squadron. Even now it makes me chuckle. I guess simple things please simple minds. I can’t remember if I ever got a trophy or prize but I definitely won their competition.

Also, the estate where I was collecting was home to a Squadron Leader from the Wing Staff. I can’t remember his name (probably Ian, but that’s not a great deal of help), I’ll get in touch with some of my close friends, they’ll remember. Anyway, I was going through the process to get my Staff qualification and part of this required an interview. This Sqn Ldr was meant to interview me and so when I knocked on his door and he recognised me we held the interview there and then. I passed the examination.

Perhaps there’ll be more dim and distant memories recorded here soon!

Awesome Drive

Wow, wasn’t expecting this from GT6! I got to drive on the moon!
Here are some screen grabs from my replay.

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And another:

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Kaz has done a brilliant job.

December 6 2013

Only one week after the release of the Playstation 4 Sony released the latest in the Gran Turismo franchise for the PS3. I understand their decision and applaud it.

I am most looking forward to the GPS tracker uploading app when it arrives so I can drive some routes around my village and then create tracks within the game. It’s just a shame that a Passat Estate isn’t in the car list. I might also upload a route to work and see how quickly I “could” drive that.

How to be happy
How to be happy

What you don’t want to see when you want to play a game. A 1GB update and rural broadband speeds!

Ba0Pc7HIEAAAYgl

A welcome return to the GT series: Apricot Hill circuit. I always really enjoyed this one.

Apricot Hill
Apricot Hill

And here’s the track:

Apricot Hill
Apricot Hill

And my first win:

Winner
Winner

Bullet In Wembley

Went to see Bullet For My Valentine on Thursday (5 December). Travelled over to Wembley Arena and saw three bands. On the way we took a wrong turn thanks to poor Sat-Nav instructions and me not paying attention (I wasn’t driving) and we ended up on the bottom of the M1 heading north where the first place to turn around is Watford, added half an hour to our journey, but we still arrived on time.

First band on were Young Guns. I think rather than be disparaging about their music it would be best to describe their set as very not my kinda stuff. Dave, who I went with, said this band looked like a “metal boy-band”, a bit manufactured.

Young Guns
Young Guns

Next up on the stage were a band called Asking Alexandria. Apparently from “somewhere up north” and from this fair isle of Great Britain this five piece were much better than Young Guns. Not brilliant but better. I was impressed, but then again, not enough to buy their album. The music was good but there was too much shouting singing for me and it didn’t sound like anything new. Skinny guitarists!

Asking Alexandria
Asking Alexandria
Asking Alexandria
Asking Alexandria

Next up were Bullet For My Valentine. They had a lovely curtain in front of their set. It made me almost patriotic. What I would say was that about one third of Wembley Arena was not used. There were curtains blocking the back part of the arena and some of the seats were covered. This could have been intentional to make it a more intimate gig but maybe they can’t sell 12,500 tickets in London?

The music in between bands was good. There was lots of AC/DC played and I liked that but the song that everyone sings is “Run to the hills” by Iron Maiden. This is not the first gig I’ve been to where everyone sings that song. It must be some kinda anthem for us British metal fans.

So, the opening music was Carmina Burana to get the crowd excited. This is, unfortunately, an overused piece of music. Ozzy used it in the 80s and 90s and I was seriously expecting him to come on stage. Also, the X Factor use it. Grow up and choose something really dark and mysterious. “Night on a bare mountain” for instance.

BFMV Flag
BFMV Flag

When they came on they played a song I had never heard. Never a good start. I really liked “Scream, Aim, Fire”. Over all they played a solid set and were musically impressive. Stage presence is something they don’t have and overall the stage show was a bit shit. It lacked something. Oh, they had flames and sparkly shit when they came on and then there was nothing but the unveiling of a giant screen that showed everything in black and white. The encore was 30 minutes long and they played a montage. I hate montages. Metallica played a “Kill ‘Em All” montage in 1990 and I hated that then and I hate montages now. Fuck off and play all the songs, or come on earlier. Oh, and they played a ballad. I don’t care if other people like them, I don’t. Oh, and further, oh, there was a guitar solo. Shit, a guitar solo. Bollocks. I was actually texting a mate during the ballad and ensuing solo. Arse.
Anyway, overall it was a 6 or 7 out of ten. The audience was composed of different types of people than I am used to, more women and more make up. I guess that might be who this music appeals to. If that’s the case then it’s a shame I listened to my stuff all this time (few women!).

BFMV
BFMV

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The journey home was much easier than expected.

What We Moan About

Firstly I shall make a number of presumptions. There’s probably plenty of evidence for these but I am not going to give citations.

  • Humans are tribal, belonging to groups makes us feel safe
  • Humans feel supported by groups and common interests
  • Humans are storytellers

I’ve been thinking about the things I moan about. Sometimes I explain those things on these pages, sometimes a short burst on Twitter and sometimes I like to moan to my family or work colleagues. It’s good to let off steam as long as you don’t come across to other people as a moaning bastard. Then again, it’s not always a bad thing to be considered the grumpy one, you tend to be left alone.

So, here goes.

The topics of our moaning need to be generalised. They should be topics that nearly everyone experiences or understands. They should be communal so we all feel involved and able to agree or chide.

Ladies and Gentlemen, the best topics for moaning are:

  • The weather
  • Driving
  • Supermarkets
  • Television

We all love to join in and be part of a gang. With these topics we can feel part of a gang straight away.
Just because we find cause to moan about these issues, it doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s getting worse. It might be different or worse or better. Anecdote won’t be able to tell. Let’s leave the details to the sociologists and scientists and engage in ranting every now and then. It’s good for you.