April 2014 – Fooyah

April 30 2014May 1 2014

Sack Race

I saw an advert last night while watching Warehouse 13. Rather, I was fast forwarding through the adverts and saw a clip of Mo Farah in a sack race. I have no idea what he was advertising I was just reminded of some cunning shenanigans of primary school sports day.

I was at primary school in the 70s and early 80s. This was in the days when:

There were 3 channels on television
TV only started at 4 in the afternoon
Telephones could only be used to phone people and were attached to the wall
My phone number was 3 digits long
The height of television cool was The Rockford Files
Wrestling wasn’t American
A space-hopper was the toy of choice
BMX was new
The bike of choice was the Chopper
You had to be home by dinner time
AIDS hadn’t happened
The people trying to kill us were from Ireland
I actually spent quite a lot of time scared of being killed in a nuclear war and I worried about the end of civilisation

Oops, that went quite heavy! Perhaps I’ll enlighten you another time with tales of growing up in the cold war.

Anyway, this communication is mostly about primary school. I can vaguely remember a few things from primary school. It was always sunny [confirmation bias], we would quite happily wear shorts for school, I had a giggling fit in the 3rd year after either Matthew or I farted.

Primary School sports day: I don’t remember being involved a great deal. I never really enjoyed playing or watching sports as a child and I think I probably did it because we had to. During sports lessons there was a small group of us who would wait behind in the changing rooms while the rest of the class went on to the field and then we would go to the playground and tell the teacher there that we had been sent to play basketball. I have no idea if our teacher was aware of this, if he was then he never said, perhaps it was worth it for us to not be in the football practice.

Finally we get to the point where I refer to the sack race. Every year we would have a sack race as part of the annual “embarrass those who are unfit or fat” day. The idea is that you climb into a potato sack and then jump as fast as you can along a 60 metre track. This is shown on the television advert. This is also a very inefficient way to travel, but I guess being good at it is useful if you are captured and kept in a sack.

The technique to win, which has always stuck with me, is to put your feet in the corners of the sack and then run as normally as you can. The first time I saw this I was amazed. It was a boy in the year above me called Jon Sheekey [spelling probably wrong]. He lived down the Chelmsford Road and also had part of a pencil lead stuck in his hand [the things you remember!]. Jon put his feet into the corners of the sack and then ran, he was a pretty fast runner anyway, and he won the race by about half the length of the track. Sheer genius!

April 27 2014

Recent Things

This is a boring communication listing a few things I have been organising on this website.

I have finally got around to sorting out WordTwit. This means that my website automatically posts tweets when I write a new communication. Each communication will send three tweets delayed by 5 hours because I have readers around the world. It will also tweet to both of my twitter accounts, which is nice.

I have also been adding some photographs to two main pages. There’s the page of photographs taken within Gran Turismo. This page is located here and is full of cars. I have also put some new photographs on the page with shots from my new camera.

I will shortly be updating my iTunes library online so that it reflects my current library. I have added a number of Hellektro albums and tunes to the collection.

If you’ve been following my tweets you’ll know that I don’t like my router at the moment. I am still working to fix that.

That Is All.

April 26 2014April 27 2014

Spider-Man 2

I had a bit of a Spider-Man marathon recently. On Friday evening I watched The Amazing Spider-Man on 3D Blu-Ray and I enjoyed it. I found the new actor far better than Tobey Maguire who just annoyed me. I rated this film an 8 on the understanding that I will probably watch it again (mainly with my sons). See this communication for an explanation of my rating system.

I mainly watched the first (new) film because I went to see the second film at the cinema. I, again, rated this new film an 8. I enjoyed it and this film goes to show how you make a good super-hero film.

I won’t give too much away except to say that I found it rather curious that every product within the film was made by Sony. Some people might be thinking that because Sony paid for this film it allows them to place products [it does].

I won’t go into the organ-destroying acceleration experienced by the people that Spider-Man saves by swinging and catching them, also the conservation of momentum law seems to have been forgotten. Mind you, the film is about a man who can walk up walls.

April 26 2014April 27 2014

Vantage Point

I had a good run yesterday [26 APR 14]. I decided to discover more of the North Downs and headed further to the north than I had previously. This run is shown below and includes all three of the Medway Valley villages.

Here’s the view (rather cloudy) of the valley from Wouldham Common.

This is the longest run I have ever done and I am quite proud of myself. I am going to try and do this route more.

April 26 2014April 26 2014

Circus

A short while ago I went to the circus! According to the information I was given it was the Circus Of France and they were based for a while at the Newnham Court shopping thing on the edge of Maidstone.

The tickets seemed expensive to me, although the last time I went to the circus was around 1991. The arena tent itself was pretty big and we were guided to some bench seats. I tried to take a photo but dropped my phone under the raised seating. I had to borrow someone else’s phone to use their camera flash to see below the seating and to find my phone, I could just reach it!

The acts we saw were all human, so animal lovers don’t have to worry about the living conditions. There was a juggler who came on in different costumes for three different acts, the high-wire artistes also did the trapeze at the end of the show, there was a climbing rope act and also a foot juggler (who was dull). The clowns provided reasonable entertainment for the scene changes although I would have liked to see a clown car fall apart in the ring.

The first ropes act included Spider-Man, which was an interesting piece of marketing, and also the anti-Spider-Man who was dressed in black. My sons loved this. During the interval there was the chance to have your photograph taken with Spiderman. We didn’t do this, but I can understand why the circus did this.

The knife throwing act was interesting. There was the typical man throwing the knives and a woman having knives thrown at (or not) her. The lady was tied to an upright spinning disc and the disc was set in motion. Before the man could throw a knife the axle broke and the woman and disc crashed to the floor, woman first and the mechanism on top of her. I have to say the staff reacted really quickly to this and the lady came back on stage shortly afterwards and completed the act.

The best part of the show was the trapeze act:

Leaving the circus there was some lovely blossom trees.

April 22 2014

Transcendence

I had expected worse. I think there are some films where the tag line needs to be:

Better than the trailer suggests

I think the best film I saw which was let down by a terrible trailer was the Road To Perdition.

Transcendence wasn’t the worst film I saw this weekend. It was a well made and glossy film and there was lots of stuff. The overall plot line was pretty good for the first half of the film and then it went bad. At lots of points I found myself thinking “what?”, “how” and “why?”. I just didn’t get it. I could write the plot flaws below, but I don’t often do spoilers. It would be best for you if you just watched The Lawnmower Man from the early 1990s.

I gave this a 4 on IMDB. See this communication for my rating system.

April 21 2014

Devil’s Work

Ha ha ha ha.

I just noticed that I have published 666 communications. Although, the problem is that this one will make it 667. That’s a shame. If I had actually bothered to look at my stats a bit more then perhaps I could have made this one self-referential.

April 21 2014April 21 2014

Noah

“Woo hoo. Father, woo hoo.”

These were my first words I ever spoke on stage when I was 11 years old. I had previously played the villain in a version of Cinderella for my primary school but this acting job was at a “proper” dramatic society show.

I think I played Japeth, the son of Noah, in the stage play Noah by Andre Obey. I vaguely remember that I stood off-stage-left when I spoke these words. Those words are pretty much all I can remember of that experience. I was in other productions, maybe more later, but this was my first. The programme is probably somewhere in my loft or at my parents’ house. I had a couple of folders where I kept mementos of all my appearances and shows in which I was involved.

As for the film I saw in the cinema, it was shit.

April 11 2014April 11 2014

The Winter Soldier

The full title of this film is:

Captain America: The Winter Soldier

I just couldn’t be bothered to title this communication properly. I’ve rated this film as a 6 on IMDB. I went to see this at Rochester cinema, my regular Cineworld venue, curiously most films I’ve seen there recently have been in the odd-numbered theatres, whereas last night I was in screen 2. I had to turn left going into the main corridor which was a little strange [left being even screens, odd being right].

I enjoyed the film. It was a good superhero film. It’s not my favourite genre as I find that the universe tweeks to create the film normally surpass by suspend-disbelief barrier. I am always willing to accept a tweek or two to a universe rules to allow a film to tell its story. Faster-than-light travel, instantaneous communications, super-strength, people flying, gods etc. Superhero films sometimes require too many tweeks to force the story and it ruins the overall effect, for me.

Overall, the plot of the film was (just) believable. I’m not one for massive conspiracies, mostly because organisations are made from humans, but the ideas behind this film seemed reasonable. The action scenes were fine, nothing stunning, they just seemed to be going through the motions. I say this with a caveat: a well made action film looks seemless and as though it’s going through the motions, whereas a poor action film highlights how hard it is to make a seemless action film. I say this because I quite like a well-made bad film, they are cute and funny, but there is a big difference between a good bad film and a bad film. Hmmm, not sure I can explain it very well, I’ll have another go another time.

I felt that this film was not just an action film. It was a story of the last 15 years of world politics [I might be reading too much into this]. A massive new Washington DC organisation [DHS] wants to protect the world from the people who disagree with they way that the World Council [USA] runs things. This is to be done using the Insight program which will eliminate all threats before they actually happen [Iraq and Afghanistan]. This is ultimately a BAD thing and so the freedom fighters [liberals] try to make sure that the system fails. This film is a critique of US and allies’ policies over the last fifteen years.

Look, this film was good fun. Worth watching. It felt quite long, which isn’t a bad thing. I like getting my money’s worth when I see a film, as long as it all fits together and this one does. Overall I would recommend this to other people to see.

Laughing
I sometimes [and only sometimes] laugh out loud in the cinema. It would appear that I find some things funnier than other people as I am the only person who laughs out loud. Is it right to laugh when no-one else does? I don’t really care. I’m not going to change, especially when I laugh at a reference to another film that others don’t seem to get.

Flinch-Gasp
Years ago when I saw The Passion Of The Christ I could hear others in the cinema flinching and doing that intake of breath whenever Jesus was beaten or whipped or whatever else happened to him. I was quite unmoved by this for the following reasons:

It was a movie and so NOT REAL
The story of the passion is not mentioned in the bible, and so is just tradition.
Jesus (most probably) did not exist and so neither did his suffering [the contemporary documented evidence for the big JC is non-existent]

Recently when I saw 12 Years A Slave there was the same phenomenon when the people were being whipped. This time I understood and agreed with the sentiment a little more. At least there is documented evidence for this appalling behaviour. I didn’t really do the gasping flinch though.

In the movie last night we see a scar on the Black Widow of where she was shot. Someone did the flinch-gasp. Seriously? In a made up film about a made up universe where a superhero gets shot and recovers someone thought the sight of a scar was enough to warrant making a flinch-gasp? Arrrrgh.

Other People
Why go to the cinema to eat? It is something I don’t understand, especially when the food substances are wrapped in noisy packets. I think that Sartre was correct:

L’enfer, c’est les autres

April 10 2014April 10 2014

Therapy?

I travelled to the big smoke last night to see Therapy? play at the Scala near Kings Cross. The journey out was good, the trains were on time and the sun was out. London looked gorgeous. While I waited for Smith to turn up I sat and watched the world go by. I’m sure I remember more nutters hanging around train stations when I was younger!

The venue was good. It was smaller than I expected but there were plenty of balconies and raised areas where a good view of the band could be found. We waited in the middle of the pit.

The first band on were called Only The Brave. It was guitar based music and not my stuff. I was wondering what it was about the music that I didn’t like and finally Andy told me it was Indie Wank. I suddenly understood why it did noting for me! For the last few songs I spent the time browsing various news sites and apps on my phone. I was glad to get 4G service inside the venue.

These were a funny band. The singer looked as though he had personality issues and spent his time staring at the side of the stage [which doesn’t really matter as long as he can sing], the RH guitarist never looked up, the bassist seemed worried about stuff and the frontman was too happy. All their songs sounded the same and rubbish [sorry, not my stuff].

Therapy?, by contrast, were an active band who looked at the crowd and actually seemed to enjoy what they were doing. It is twenty years since the release of the Troublegum album and they played it in its entirety. It’s a very good album and the show was dynamic. The crowd were jumping and I sweated loads in the middle of the pit. Smith had someone try to steal his mobile phone a few times and so he was disappointed with some members of the crowd. I had noticed around three people looking for their phones on the floor. I can’t imagine that you would put a phone somewhere where it would fall out so maybe their phones were stolen?

The sound was good and I really enjoyed the show. I stayed in the pit for around 3/4 of the set and then spent the last few songs watching from the edge of the pit. I will confirm to @trusmoov that it was a “normal” pit.

The real excitement of the evening was waiting for me at the train station. Smith and I wandered to Kings Cross and said our farewells. Then I headed to the correct platforms in St Pancras. There was a queue of people nearside of the barriers all talking to the railway people. I glanced a the departures board and saw that the 20 past was about to leave. I was wrong. It was the 2220 train and the time now was 2318. There were delays.

Apparently some kids had entered a tunnel near to Stratford station and so we were waiting for the police to make sure that the route was clear. I boarded the train and found a seat. I was feeling a little tired and tried to read a book on the Kindle app. There were announcements about how we could head to Victoria or London Bridge to get trains from there, but a quick check of the app on my phone told me that there were no other departures to Ebbsfleet, where my car was parked. I was stuck waiting for the fast train to leave.

At about 0130 we had the announcement that we would be departing soon. I arrived at Ebbsfleet at around 0150 and was home by 0215. I guess the journey could have been a lot worse but I was tired. I didn’t care. I was just glad to be home.

April 9 2014

Divergent

This film was a good watch. I enjoyed it although I am slightly wearisome with the dystopian future that we see. There are many stories from film and books that have this sort of future Earth. It seems quite clear to me that we are going to ruin the planet, our fiction and imaginative writers can only see bad things in the future. They look at society now and extend and widen the gaps and you end up with the world of Divergent or The Hunger Games. Wherever we look the goodness of humans is outweighed by the selfishness and greed of the few who “lead”.

So, this was a pretty standard film given the current fashion for trilogies of YA Fiction. It starts with a young girl who doesn’t fit. She then cheats the system and uncovers a massive conspiracy which she then defeats. She gains quite a bit of street-cred on the way. That, is pretty much it. There’re a few set pieces to show the world of in all its glory. Overall, it was enjoyable and fine. It was not brilliant. For a dystopian future world I still think Blade Runner is the best, or Akira if you like that sort of thing.

YA Fiction. The first time I saw that I had to look it up. Apparently it stands for Young Adult fiction. I think it pretty much covers all those stories that are aimed at teenagers but are actually read by adults on the daily commute (but with a different dust jacket). Isn’t it weird that books aimed at teenagers contain the elements of “not fitting” and “breaking the system” and “following your heart”.~

I rated this film a 6 on IMDB, but to understand what this means you need to read my communication about film ratings.

April 8 2014April 8 2014

GT Progress

This is my current status in Gran Turismo 6. I think I’m doing ok.

April 7 2014

Shooting Fish In A Barrel

OK, I’ll admit it. I have a nasty habit. I really should try and quit. I managed to stop writing about driving on this site, but, if I’m being honest, someone needs to be addicted to this stuff. I am slightly worried about my metaphorical blood pressure though.

Once again, it’s the BBC News that is being, quite frankly, shit.

Holy mother of god. This is breaking news worth tweeting about? Not only that but the headline is about the crazy randomness that a young child is awake as his parents take him off the plane. This is shit. So, a baby who was possibly asleep or awake on a plane then becomes (or stays) awake as his parents lift him up and take him outside the plane. What utter shit.

Can you tell? I’m annoyed.

April 7 2014April 7 2014

Lego 20 Model 4021

Does anyone else almost like the boxes and instructions as much as the actual Lego bits?
It’s time to go mining for gold!

Ye-hah! There’s gold in them thar hills!

April 7 2014

Lego 19 Model 60011

It’s a Lego City surfing nightmare!

April 6 2014April 6 2014

Vegetable Patch 2014

Planted the vegetables for this year. It’s a disgrace really as I don’t eat them and neither do the kids but I think it’s important for them to see stuff grow.
This year we have:
Sweetcorn
Onions
Carrots
Potatoes

The potatoes are in round pots to try and keep them contained:

We have the rest planted in the ground. The silver plant container has chestnut trees we planted last autumn.

April 5 2014April 5 2014

Spot The News

Can you spot the news in the following BBC Website clip?

NO?

Neither could I. This appears at first reading of the headline to indicate that they’ve found a signal from the airplane. Then you read the next bit and realise it isn’t. Maybe, just maybe the BBC should have waited for the Chinese to confirm something. The endless speculation about this airplane has driven me to indifference.

Here’s a crazy idea for the BBC News people:

How about you report something when it really is new and confirmed from two independent sources.

Can you believe that this organisation is the pinnacle of reporting in this country? No, once again neither can I. I have pretty much given up following the news. I get most of my information from the following sources:

The Today Programme on Radio 4
The New Quiz on BBC Radio 4
Private Eye

Here’s a recent tweet of mine to show I don’t hold The Today Programme in high esteem all the time:

Here’s a link to a recent rant about BBC News Reporting. I find that I get the general idea of what is going on in this country by listening to and reading satire. While listening to the radio I used to think that people were being a bit harsh in their picking on Ed Milliband’s voice, but that was until I heard him. Thank goodness for satire. Putting the stories in their place.

I am sure this isn’t the last of my rants and moans about news reporting. There’s plenty more to come in future communications. Happy weekend.