October 2018 – Fooyah

October 30 2018October 30 2018

Am Port

I had a lovely time recently at the Armed Forces Chaplaincy Centre in Hampshire. This was a weekend course in the wonderful setting of Amport House.

The weekend was spent with like minded people learning about personal development, emotions, biases, listening, understanding and respecting each other.

I know that a chaplaincy centre doesn’t really fit my overall view of the world but in all honesty it’s just a nice calm place to be. I didn’t have the room directly next to the church organ this time and in all honesty I was slightly disappointed about that! I did manage to fit a run in on the Sunday morning and that was pleasing. It only worked because we moved the clocks back to symmetrical time.

The pleached limes looked lovely with leaves and all that, but I didn’t manage to get a good enough photograph of them. Maybe next time?

October 27 2018October 30 2018

First Man

Days ago I went to the cinema at Rochester to see the film First Man. It has taken me this long to process what I thought about it along with being away and in an area of limited data coverage. Before I explain what I thought about the film there are some formalities to cover.

I have no idea on the state of the tide that evening. I didn’t particularly look at that tidal area of river as it was dark and raining. I could look it up but that’s not the point. I also rated this film on IMDB and you should see this particular communication which explains the rating system, I’ll give you a hint though, I broke the system for this film.

I rated First Man (2018) 5/10 #IMDb https://t.co/XbqrGtSXcL

— Ian Parish (@iparish) October 26, 2018

I’ve a slight feeling that this is going to be a little controversial. But then again, it’s my view and I’m not a professional critic so I don’t make or break movies.

I’m not sure I liked this film.

I wanted to like this film. I wanted to love this film and be amazed at it and learn a bit about Neil Armstrong. I’m not sure I did and that pains me. I think it took me two days before I rated this film on IMDB as I wasn’t sure what score to give the film.

So, we know I am a nerd and I know a fair bit about the moon landings and space travel. I didn’t mind that I didn’t learn anything new about those aspects of the film. I also knew that Mr Armstrong was quite private and quiet but also a professional and extremely clever man. I’m not sure this film captured that.

Here’s what I did like. The emotional aspect of Armstrong attempting to deal with the death of his daughter. This film heavily places that at the centre of the story telling and I am fine with that but it’s almost fiction as the man himself never really opened up about it. I loved the final touch of his offering to the moon and would love that to be true.

What I didn’t like was all the shaking camera work. This film was like watching a tense emotional marriage drama with episodes of shaking camera and stress. I guess that’s what the astronauts’ lives are like but I just don’t like blurry screens.

I didn’t like the way the film side-stepped the knowledge and understanding and skill that is needed to be an astronaut. I like the technical stuff. I know that’s just me and so I get why this film has rave reviews.

So, in the end this film has a 5/10 from me. I didn’t hate it. I just didn’t like it enough.

October 25 2018October 25 2018

Not Really

This one is easy pickings really. Almost everything written in the Daily Express is rubbish and it has been amongst the leaders of our “free press” stoking the embers of racism and nationalism over the last few years. But, let’s stick with science:

I took this clip of the Daily Express two days ago. It’s a photo that was shared widely through the press and you’ve probably seen it.

It is a good photograph and quite stunning. Although we can’t see the right hand corner of the iceberg and I couldn’t see any other views of this iceberg so I wonder how rectangular it is and how many people’s brains will fill in another right angle.

I’m more interested in the words that the Express uses.

“Nature can do straight lines” – yep, knew that already. Pretty sure light travels in straight lines (at a basic level). Also, notice that the edges of the ice berg aren’t straight. There are bumps and lumps. So, it’s not straight. It just appears that way.

“Eerily perfect 90-degree angles” – hmm, have they measured that? Perfect 90-degrees is pushing it a bit. I mean they can be close to 90 but “perfect”. Bullshit. In the very NEXT paragraph they say the angles can be “about 90-degrees”. So they dismiss their own claim in the VERY NEXT PARAGRAPH.

“Perfect ice rectangle” – but it’s not perfect. What sort of person writes that word in a news article? We can’t see the rest of it. The picture is at an oblique angle so we can’t measure the sides. I doubt the Express have done anything like that.

So, let’s see what NASA said about their photographs:

“I was actually more interested in capturing the A68 iceberg that we were about to fly over, but I thought this rectangular iceberg was visually interesting and fairly photogenic, so on a lark, I just took a couple photos,” Harbeck said.

The photographer took the photos for a lark! Brilliant.

They aren’t all that rectangular:

In fact pretty much all of them are irregular in shape and so the odd one that looks a little special to human brains isn’t that exciting:

How do you get your kit to Antarctica? In a large plane of course. How do you land large plane? Make an ice runway:

October 23 2018

Johnny English Strikes Again

Well, today I took a trip to the Cineworld cinema in Harlow. Not the one in the Harvey Centre but the one on the edge of town. I can’t remember the last time I went to Harlow town centre but I’m pretty sure I thought it was shit. Harlow, you see, is a new town. It’s a classic example of 1960s urban planning with a concrete town centre to boot. It may have improved I guess but don’t know because I didn’t go there.

The cinema I patronised was close to the river Stort but that isn’t tidal. In fact there are no tidal reaches close by so I can’t give you a decent idea of where the tide was at. I can tell you it is pretty much a full moon out this evening. Also, a new one for me in the 40 odd years that I’ve lived and moved around this part of Essex I actually saw deer in the first field coming out of the village.

I should probably get on with the film and the review type stuff. I rated this film on IMDB and there’s a communication here detailing the scoring process. You can even search in the little box on the right to see more reviews and things or use the drop down menu directly below my header picture. I tweeted my IMDB score:

I rated Johnny English Strikes Again (2018) 4/10 #IMDb https://t.co/9OPw7A2t25

— Ian Parish (@iparish) October 23, 2018

So, as you can see, 4/10 is a pretty pants score. There’s been a few others recently that scored that and there’s even a film where I went completely away from this trusted format. Why did this film get a 4? Mostly because it was shit.

I did like the idea that they were trying to train Johnny English into understanding that the world has moved on and that women can have jobs of power although they could have gone into this much more. The idea that women should be treated the same as men, although it probably doesn’t work so well in this movie franchise compared with Bond because Johnny English is generally a fool whereas Bond is full of misogynistic toxic behaviour that deserves to be corrected and then consigned to the rubbish heap of shit things.

No, this film was pretty shit. Other people in the cinema laughed plenty and I chuckled a couple of times but it wasn’t far enough on the dinosaur discovering a new world idea and it wasn’t enough Mr Bean.

October 22 2018October 22 2018

Reinden Wood

I spent a couple of days inside Reinden Woods part of the Cinque Ports Training Area. Whilst there I supervised a number of training opportunities for the cadets and generally helped out. I quite enjoyed playing a role during the vehicle check point exercise. I took some photos and they are below. I’m not going to say a huge amount about this weekend except to say it was fun while also being cold overnight.

Of course I don’t believe in ghosts but if films and stories are anything to go by the lodge pictured above would be haunted. It was bad enough having the cockerels crowing at 04:00.

I don’t go near wild fungi, I have no idea what they are and don’t want to die.

This is possible not the greatest photograph of this view but I had a task to do and came back to this spot about two minutes after and go this shot. I was even prettier two minutes earlier.

October 13 2018October 15 2018

Sub 540 Seconds

I’ve been trying to keep my hand-in with the Nurburgring racing circuit. I’ve been trying to race it a couple of times a week. Most tracks don’t take that long to get back in the swing of things, but given that this one is 14km or so long it takes an age to get used to it. While racing my lovely Porsche around I noticed that my times for the 24 Hour circuit were getting close to nine minutes and so I’ve been playing with the aim of beating that.

Here’s the proof I finally did:

Look for the fastest lap time in purple in the bottom right hand corner. I’m quite happy.

This is the gorgeous beast that I achieved that time in:

October 13 2018October 13 2018

Glorious Colours

Here are a couple of photographs taken of the glorious colours in the morning skies above Kent.

I know they are sunrise because both of these photos have the camera facing to the East.

The weather for the last few weeks has not been usual. We are in the middle of October and I’ve only had the heating on for two days and that was me being luxurious.

October 12 2018October 12 2018

Radio

Over the last two years the news has become increasingly depressing. I think that is because everything I hear goes against my views of what our society should be. All the politics since the EU referendum and election of May and Trump has been frustrating. I have often switched off from one of my twitter accounts because I find it depresses me, makes me worried for the future and makes me feel helpless.

I have tried to cut down the amount of news I consider. Recently I have found that listening to BBC Radio 4 a lot hasn’t helped my mood. The presenters don’t seem to approach the discussions in the way I think they should and they seem to miss all the important issues facing this country at the moment.

I went through a phase of listening to music in the mornings and evenings while in the kitchen and I am now at the point where I miss the voices. I like the music but I miss the discussion of talk radio.

So, I spent a little time last night trying to get a radio station from New Orleans play over my Sonos system. I am pretty sure that this station, WWL, broadcasts only to the USA and the website I get directed to doesn’t work properly in my browser. I don’t do any VPN type thing yet, although that might happen at some point.

So, I spent a little while trying to find the URL I could use to add WWL to my Sonos system. Sonos uses TuneIn Radio to connect to streaming services and WWL doesn’t broadcast over that network. However, you can add stations manually if you can get a streaming URL.

It took a little clever Googling around to find a source that would work but eventually I did it. I have now added WWL to my sound system. I am looking forward to, once again, learning about the weather in Louisiana and how the traffic is near the big lake.

A previous communication in 2016 covered this media switch also.

Why New Orleans? Because I follow their American football team, that’s why.

October 8 2018

K – Kula Shaker

I bought this album because didn’t they feel like they could be a rock band? I’m sure there was one good song.

I’ll pop it on the music maker thingies in the house.

<waits>

First song: “Hey Dude”, seems ok, I guess. Nope. Change that. Got to the chorus.

<skip>

Nope.

<skip>

Oh, here’s a song called Hush. Pretty good song. But it’s NOT theirs. It was by Deep Purple. That’s why it’s a good song. It also isn’t on this album. I added after downloading it.

October 8 2018

Migration

Well, that was a weekend! For some reason I decided to have a go at running my website [this one] from my own NAS drive. I figured this will save me money in the long run? won’t have to rely on GoDaddy who have hosted my website since its inception. I’ve not had any problems with GoDaddy but it’s a bit like car tax. When it comes around to paying for the hosting I just find I’d rather not.

So, I spent many hours staring at my computer screen. The first thing was getting the NAS to run as a web server and get the data out to the world. This took a little while to configure, especially the port forwarding and stuff, but I had done this for my Raspberry Pi and it’s web server so I did have some experience. I installed Webstation on the black box and got it working.

The next thing to do was trying to migrate my website from the GoDaddy servers to the NAS. However, this means running WordPress and that means the following have to be installed on the NAS drive:

Maria Db for the SQL database
Text Editor for getting into those pesky php files
phpMyAdmin to read and mess around with the SQL databases
WordPress

WordPress configured everything to run well and then I followed a web guide which had explained it should be easy to transfer the data with a little knowledge. I have a little knowledge and I think that makes me more dangerous than most! I FTP’d my site to my PC ready for uploading to the NAS drive.

I then tried importing the SQL database and setting up WordPress to read that database and work properly.

I failed at this about three times.

I failed terribly. To the point of uninstalling WordPress and deleting all the data and trying again. Each attempt took about an hour. It was quite frustrating because I do think I was close and only needed to change a “space” or “comma” in one of the php files and it would have worked wonders. But I started to despair.

So, I paid for some migration software. I already use UpdraftPlus and this automatically backs up my site to the cloud and they offered a migration package for about £20. Considering how much time I had spent doing all this it would have made more sense to spend that in the first place. But, you know, I wanted the experience. I do know a lot more about SQL and stuff now so it wasn’t a complete waste.

UpdraftPlus migration was easy to use and it even sent the files straight to my webserver. I thought that was quite impressive. It did take a long time though and I left it running overnight. I checked on it this morning.

The local version of WordPress was asking me to locate the backup files and then import them. As I was running a very basic and unmodified version of WordPress I hoped the import file would write all data to the SQL database and also import all the settings.

It did and quite quickly.

However, it did come up with an error reading one of the “upload” zip files. I think there must’ve been an error. Most of the website was working well and the WordPress dashboard was looking good. I think the database thought all these media files existed but Updraft couldn’t remove them from the zip file and so stopped working.

I FTP’d into the existing site and downloaded all the media files, about 5GB and FTP’d them to the NAS and hey presto. It all seems to work quite well. I am quite pleased.

I now have to go through and change the odd link here and there which won’t work because of the directory structure, but generally I am very happy with everything. I have a plugin which will crawl through and check links for me. I could also get Google to do a crawl for me, it worked really well last time to indicate some issues on the site.

This is the very first Fooyah communication on this new hosting. I am happy. If blurry eyed.

October 7 2018

King Of Thieves

Last night I went to Rochester cinema [not in Rochester] to see King Of Thieves. It was dark so I don’t have any information about the state of the tide for this communication but I can tell you it was raining. I can also inform you that the JD was very pleasant while waiting to go into the theatre. I did see a really cool device developed by Guinness that took a poured glass of Guinness from a can and then made bubbles appear so it looked like a draught pint. This device is apparently called a Guinness Surger and I will let you Google that for yourself.

I rated this film on IMDB and you should sneak over to this communication to see how the system works.

I rated King of Thieves (2018) 4/10 #IMDb https://t.co/UzkslauApf

— Ian Parish (@iparish) October 7, 2018

Well, that seems quite a low rating for a crime caper! I just didn’t really like it. This movie starts off with likable characters trying to get one over on The Man. Although that is what they have always done, being professional thieves. But, you see, this means they are scum bags unwilling to work for the things they want. Stealing isn’t a thing to be celebrated, even though we love those movies. I would also rail against those who make money by taking advantage of people. I’ve a simple mantra in life, let’s be nice to one another.

In this film you have what looks like a bumbling group of old guys with a lovely camaraderie who slowly develop and show their greed and mistrust of each other because they have always lied. They start playing off against each other. They just aren’t nice people. You see, thieving:

IT’S NOT A NOBLE OCCUPATION.

It’s for assholes and scumbags driven by a sense of inequality. Whilst they are right to have that sense of inequality they should be trying to change things through the proper channels, not breaking the law. Arrrgh, I’m stuck now because the law works in favour of those with money and those who take advantage of everyone, especially while the Tories are in power.

Do you know what? Go and watch the Jonathon Pie thing on iPlayer. That’s good.

October 5 2018October 5 2018

Gentle Breaths

This, is I guess, a slightly bizarre communication. I have noticed that while I’m falling asleep and if the air in the room is still I can feel the induced draft of cool air on my face caused by exhaling breath.

When I breathe out of my mouth and my head is facing horizontally the air I breathe out “pulls” air surrounding my head along with it and that gap is filled with air which causes a slight cooling effect on my cheeks.

This tour-de-force of a diagram shows what I mean. My outgoing breath A induces a current of air over my cheek B causing the cheek to cool a little. For this effect to be felt I think the bedroom air needs to be reasonably still and not too warm.

October 2 2018October 2 2018

Just Say Ozzy – Ozzy Osbourne

The thing about this album is that the bass sounds so bloody lovely. It’s a live record and when you look at who’s involved you see that Geezer Butler is playing bass guitar and you go “ah, now that makes sense”.

The tracks on this are all proper Ozzy. Really good songs with blistering guitar work.

Miracle Man, Bloodbath in Paradise, Shot In The Dark, Tattooed Dancer, Sweet Leaf and War Pigs.

The last two are Sabbath classics. This is a great album [EP], well worth a listen, but not necessarily worth the £15 on Amazon I just saw! I’d recommend Tribute instead.

Zakk Wylde on guitar, Geezer on bass and Randy Castillo on drums? What more do you want?

October 2 2018

Paying For It

It has struck me recently that while I stream quite a bit of music the money I pay for this doesn’t seem to get back to the artists. I know that each Spotify steam is bugger all. Each stream of a song is about 0.4 cents or pence it doesn’t really matter. For an artist to make a living from Spotify they have to be best sellers really. Now, I will listen to an album a large number of times when I like the music. But I might steam an album once or twice. It seems to me that if I know I like the songs then paying for the album means I will listen to it more, enjoy it more and contribute to the artist more.

Just paid for an actual album (download). More of the money will go to artist than streaming.

— Ian Parish (@iparish) October 2, 2018

So, my first album purchase in probably over a year goes to: Leaether Strip.

I decided to buy two albums. A “best of” and a later album. Ironically I’m going to share them here via Spotify you can always search for these on your preferred content provider.

I think it should be an aim to buy an album each month. Preferably using Bandcamp or something similar where more of my payment goes to the artist.

October 1 2018

Judgement Night – Various Artists

This perfectly amazing album is what happens when a music label crosses over its artists. I will write about this album as if the second song had never appeared on it as I think it’s a travesty. Here’s what you need to know:

“Just Another Victim” by Helmet and House Of Pain: an excellent opener giving you a taste of what’s coming. The grinding opening riff rips your brain out. The pace change half way through bounces your grey cells once more. Brilliant.

“Me, myself & my microphone” by Run DMC and Living Colour: ringing chords leading to heavy riffs and a hiphop beat. Heavy crashing sounds.

“Judgement Night” by Biohazard and Onyx: Yeah, motherfucker. A bouncy beat with squealy guitar sounds throughout. A bonkers song.

“Disorder” by Slayer and Ice-T: Sorry Ice-T but Tom Araya smashes your scream, he takes it, rolls it up into a small box and disintegrates it to a million pieces. We don’t need your war. A rolling beat with classic Slayer riff and solo until halfway. Hold on to your hats because this song knocks you off your feet. It hits you the way the LA riots hit LA.

“Another Body Murdered” by Faith No More and Boo Ya T.R.I.B.E. A classic Faith No More start to this song with pumping rap lyrics and the gentle piano in the background. The screams part way through are horror-movie standard.

“I Love You Mary Jane” by Cypress Hill and Sonic Youth: this is one chilled out song. A slow rolling beat with the distinct vocal style of Cypress Hill. This works. It’s relaxed. It’s strange and smooth.

“Freak Momma” by Mudhone and Sir Mix-A-Lot: I know little of Mudhone but what I do know is this song is in their distinctive style. The beat catches up with itself at times and tries to overtake in your head. Almost a summer garden song.

“Missing Link” by Dinosaur Jr. and Del the Funky Homosapien: a groovy bass line with rapping and a singing lead guitar. Another chilled out song. Something to relax to.

“Come and Die” by Therapy? and Fatal: imagine you’ve got zombies chasing you around the neighbourhood. You are jogging away, hoping you don’t turn a corner and get caught by a separate hoard. That’s the pace and feel of this song. It’s also the music that should be playing in the movie where you are running from zombies. It’s a meta song.

“Real Thing” by Pearl Jam and Cypress Hill: want to bounce your head, nodding with the beat while walking or chilling in your sofa in the garden. Well, get the wickerwear out, put the cushions on and lay back and relax. Hold a finger in the air and direct the music from your slouch. Feel the beat take you.

The song I’ve not mentioned is “Fallin'” because it’s shit.

This entire album was the soundtrack to a chunk of my time at university. It was amazing and still is. It has that raw powerful sound of anger and sadness. I feel like we haven’t moved on. Society is still suffering and these songs and artists could easily make all this again.

At its time this was an amazing album, a collaboration of artists of metal and rap who weren’t Aerosmith. This crossover is brilliant. I love it. I really love it.

October 1 2018

Jeff Beck’s Guitar Shop – Jeff Beck

This album was originally bought on music cassette and has since bee played a reasonable number of times. My ignorance comes to the fore here as I don’t really know who Jeff Beck is. I think he wrote “Hi Ho Silver Lining” but I could be mistaken. I don’t want to Wikipedia him because that’s cheating. My suspicion is that he used to be a member of an awesome 60/70s rock band and then was part of a few super-groups.

This album was late 80s or early 90s and it’s good fun. It’s not rock by a long way but it has gentle rhythms and sampling along with some spoken word lyrics. I quite like it as something different for the summer evenings. Perfectly pleasant for company I guess.

October 1 2018

Jar Of Flies / SAP – Alice In Chains

It has been a while since I wrote some stuff about albums I own and what I think about them. Hopefully I’ll have a push to produce more communications over the next while. It’d be nice to get a load of stuff written that isn’t just pretty pictures I’ve taken. This site was turning into a little bit of a photo-blog and while those communications are important I should be getting back to the purposes of originality.

Jar Of Flies.

Don’t listen to this if you are slightly depressed and alone. It’s a struggle to listen to this EP when perfectly happy and emotionally stable and alone so any worse off and you need to hide your shoe laces away.

This EP perfectly uses the haunting vocal style of the lead singer [dead – drugs] and the gentle guitar sounds of Seattle. Every song on this album makes me feel. This was one of the first ten or so CDs I bought, I think I owned it before I owned a CD player. This EP is perfect and tearsome.

You must listen to it at some point. Preferably when you are well. And in a brightly lit room. Laying on the floor, in the dark, with sunglasses on and beer in your system is not the ideal listening position.

Well, it is really but we shouldn’t go there. This album takes me back to 1994 with the opening three seconds.

Get your fucking hair cut.