Legend – Fooyah – Ian Parish

September 2 2024September 2 2024

Adventuring Summer 2024

The Legend and I have spent some time away adventuring and generally enjoying being away from things. We stayed in Crowborough initially and investigated things around there. I had to do some car “repairs” as I broke part of the bottom of the car being slightly impatient. We visited Pooh Sticks Bridge on a rainy day, which did keep the riff-raff away. Then we also tried to find the source of the river Medway. This wasn’t that easy. I knew where the source was and it is a spring on some farmer’s land. We walked to the spot but then could only really see the bushes and ferns covering the spring. We could hear running water but could only make it out a little further downstream where there was a small bridge. It was all rather overgrown but it was pretty cool to be in that spot.

Source Of The River Medway - Trust Me — Source Of The River Medway – Trust Me

The Crowborough campsite was below part of the approach pattern for Gatwick airport. Many aircraft flew overhead and it was great tracking them on the phone. There was also an amazing sound some of them made when flying over. It was a strange howling sound that I think is something to do with their engines spooling down or flaps extending. I’m not sure but it was gorgeous.

We then travelled down to the New Forest. The campsite was positioned on an old RAF Base and we were set up at one of the aircraft dispersal points along the perry track. The campsite was busy but after a couple of days most people went home so it became quieter and calmer.

Geeses - The New Forest — Geeses – The New Forest

We visited the Bovington Tank museum and had a ride in a tracked vehicle, watched a tank battle show and saw plenty of tin cans that burn soldiers alive if hit. Later that day we drove around collecting new supplies for our camp. We had a day of cycling which was lovely. I had never really explored the New Forest and it was great just pootling along enjoying the experience.

Sea Rex - The World's Largest Pliosaur — Sea Rex – The World’s Largest Pliosaur

I think possibly the best adventure was travelling the Kimmeridge to see the Sea-Rex. This is a skull of a pliosaur which was discovered in the cliff face of the Jurassic Coast. There is a BBC programme about it and this was most of the reason we visited this place. The display was really nice and we even got to see the Steve Etches at work in the lab. We had lunch at the pub opposite and then drove to Tyneham. This village was suggested as a place to visit by one of the workers in the Etches Collection.

Tyneham is an abandoned village. Everyone was relocated during the second world war and have never been allowed back to live. There’s a big local campaign but it hasn’t got anywhere so far. It was interesting to see. My most interesting piece of information was that when the village was compulsory purchased all the money went to the “squire” as he owned all the property. The villagers were given only the value of the vegetables in their gardens. I see most of the world in terms of a class struggle between the poor and the wealthy. This classically highlights this struggle that is a very long way from being resolved.

On the return from Kimmeridge and the Jurassic Coast we drove past a shop selling pretty cool outdoors and biking stuff. So we hung a quick u-ey and visited that place. I would recommend Guardhouse Sports to you. I bought the Legend her birthday present. While packing away and getting ready to return I saw some nice aircraft heading to Bournemouth airport ready for their airshow. There were a couple of RAF Tutors and then, the most gorgeous Saab Draken and Viggen of the historical flight. I’m not sure I’d seen these flying before so it was great to see them.

It was lovely to be away. Such a relaxing time.

April 15 2024

Better Luck Second And Third Time

I went with KL to Brighton for the second time within a month. The plan was to experience the i360 and hopefully to be able to see outside this time. The last time we went it was foggy and we couldn’t see a thing. This time we travelled and the weather seemed good. We were lucky and the visibility was clear up to a height of around 150 metres so the views this time were excellent.

While enjoying the ride I accidentally knocked over an expensive drink of ginger beer so once we had returned to earth I told the staff. I also pointed out the various buttons behind the bar to K, these were the ones that controlled the UFO shaped observatory. The person in charge of the experience seemed so impressed I had taken an interest in his knobs that he asked if we wanted to stay on and ride again. We accepted.

While in the i360 I looked at the altimeter on my watch out of curiosity. Below is a picture of the watch once we had returned to earth the second time.

Brighton Day - Altitude — Brighton Day – Altitude

Apart from the disgusting hairs on my arm you can see I’ve marked four sections. The describe the following parts of the day:

A – Being at home.
B – The journey to Brighton.
C – The first ride in the i360.
D – The second ride in the i360.

It’s nice to see that parts of the watch that I paid for really seem to work. I’m curious as to how sensitive the watch is to pressure changes. I might investigate.

April 13 2024

I’d Been Aiming For This

Over the time of playing the recent chapter/season or whatever it’s called of Fortnite I had hoped that the opportunity to jump the train in a vehicle would arise. I had tried before and it didn’t really work. But recently I did manage it and I managed to capture the video of it. I have removed the sound as other people were talking while I did this.

March 28 2024March 28 2024

Not Bright But Excellent

For my birthday recently the Legend and I travelled to Brighton to experience the views of the south coast of England from the i360. This isn’t the latest iPhone or other shitty Apple device and it’s not the newest video streaming platform from the BBC. The i360 is a UFO shaped glass viewing platform that towers 138 metres above the beach. The platform starts at ground level and is then winched to max height where it stays for a while before being lowered back down and generating some power from the gravitational potential energy. The views are meant to be spectacular.

We had lunch in a restaurant close to the i360 on the front, the place was called Pinello and the food was delicious. I had a lovely mocktail. Next we joined the non-existent queue for the i360. Our bags were searched and we waited for the ride. There were about eight people in total in the UFO so we had a very peaceful time. Also, It was foggy. For the entire journey we couldn’t see a thing except white outside of the windows.

The Legend and I bagsed a sofa and we sat there enjoying the non-view and drinking flavoured champagne or something like that. After our landing back on Earth we perused the shop and then went to the pier to experience the sea-side proper.

Once the interesting things were completed we headed back home. As soon as we rose north of the South Downs the weather was actually sunny!

March 28 2024

It Takes Skill

A favourite thing to do in the game Fortnite is to drive around and surprise people. Even better is to be in a convoy of a few vehicles just driving around the map because it’s fun. I recently drove through some of the Underworld and then somehow managed to park my Jeep exactly sideways in a corridor – it takes skill.

Just Park - Fortnite — Just Park – Fortnite

February 7 2024

Multi-Modal Transport Weekend

Over a recent weekend I travelled to Portsmouth with the Legend. We stayed in an hotel near the sea front but we didn’t get a seaview window, unless you craned your neck, which was a little disappointing. The journey down to Portsmouth was via a car. But the best journeys over the weekend were not by car. Although there were jobs to be done on the island of Portsea as well as one job just off the island we decided to make it adventurous and on the first afternoon we travelled to the Isle Of Wight for my second ever trip there.

Solent Flyer - 12000TD Hovercraft — Solent Flyer – 12000TD Hovercraft

The Solent Flyer took us across the Solent to Ryde on the Pile Of Shite in about ten minutes. The maximum speed was around 35mph as measured on my iPhone speed app. The ride was pretty smooth and the whole experience was really good fun. Things I noticed – there are two engines, once the first one starts the skirt inflates a little. Shortly after that the second engine starts. Hovercraft float on a cushion of air and that air is retained by the skirt – I have a piece of repurposed discarded skirt at home now – the forward motion is provided by the big fans at the rear of the machine. I’ve been trying to get technical details off the internets but all I can find is length and payload.

I’ve just found some engine specifications and they are MAN V12s specially designed for hovercraft. They are 24.24 litre capacity and are air cooled as hovercraft don’t touch the water. Each engine produces around 1079HP and means the hovercraft could travel at up to 50 knots. The lift fans are electrically powered by the diesels and then the thrust fans are shaft powered. Noise inside the passenger cabin was surprisingly low.

Both outward and return journeys were smooth and I was super impressed with the transition from ground to water, there was no noticeable difference, which I should have expected. The windows are a struggle to keep clear because of sea-travel and big fans so the views weren’t amazing but I could see enough. After travelling to Ryde I asked to see the cockpit (because I’m a child at heart) and it was super impressive. Ryde itself was a bit of a shithole. But at least I have now been to the Isle Of Wight twice. The previous time was to celebrate Dave Goddard’s birthday in 1994 I reckon.

Earlier in the week I had read that both of the UK’s aircraft carriers were alongside in Portsmouth. During the last visit I had definitely seen the control islands of one carrier but hadn’t realised they were both in. So, we booked a harbour tour by boat from the historic dockyard. Things I noticed – entry to the dockyard is free, you just have to ask, it’s the individual “attractions” you pay for. The security search of bags at the entrance was poor because I took my lock-knife in by mistake – I keep it with me along with a torch because – reasons. We got tickets for the harbour tour.

The tour was on a catamaran and it had loads of seating inside the main cabin which was warm. We sat by a window. There were some noisy people on board but I tried to remember that other people do and are allowed to exist. This noisy group wanted tea to drink – I was surprised (but shouldn’t have been) that the first thing they thought of was buying tea. The tour started with HMS Warrior, then left the confines of the quay and passed the two carriers.

The Prince of Wales had a lot of scaffolding on top and was clearly undergoing a serious amount of maintenance. This is what a few billion GBP gets you and it is massive. 280 metres long and it towers above everything else in the local area. It would have been nice to see them from the top of Spinnaker Tower but it was shut for work. The Queen Elizabeth was meant to be departing Portsmouth that evening but during pre-checks they had discovered an issue with one of the propeller drive shaft couplings and so her departure was cancelled. I believe the PoW is being sent instead to scare off the Yemeni “rebels” but it will take about a week for it to be made ready. It could take that long to remove the scaffolding!

Another form of transport over the weekend, assuming transport is to change the location of a person or thing [I understand that a person is a thing], was the lifts in the hotel. They were swift and could apparently take up to eight people. The upper lift capacity figures have always amused me – like they are joking right? It’s purely a weight force limit rather than the number of people you can physically fit into the space. I can tell you that three people was enough, especially when one of them was an over six foot tall boxer. There were university boxing championships going on in the city.

After the harbour trip and after nearly buying a piece of HMS Victory’s wood – because who wouldn’t want a piece of that – we headed to the village of Tangmere about half an hour away. Tangmere is home to a military aviation museum and around six years ago Mr O and I tried to visit there but it was closed for the winter, I think we ended up at Goodwood. So, I had finally made it to Tangmere. It’s quite exciting driving around the corner and seeing the road guarded by an RAF Phantom!

RAF Phantom - Tangmere Museum — RAF Phantom – Tangmere Museum

This was a pretty nice little museum. I won’t talk to people but thankfully the Legend does and so I learnt about the RAF Sector Clock along with some interesting stories about pilots and their dashing bravery. There was a good display of aircraft including two actual speed record breakers – A Gloster Meteor and a Hawker Hunter. Also, there were Harriers, a Lightning, a Spitfire, a Lysander and a Sea Vixen. Very nice they all were too and looked after well. Overall, a top weekend.

December 29 2023

Wonka

So, yesterday the Legend and I took a trip down to Ashford to watch the new Wonka film. Why Ashford? To experience the 4DX cinema there; moving seats and jets of air and water. I would normally use this section to explain what state the tide was in but as we didn’t drive near any tidal waters I can not. I guess I could look it up but what’s the point in that?

I rated this film on IMDb and I gave it six out of ten. For more information on the rating system please read this communication.

So, I enjoyed the film. I was a little put off at the beginning when there was singing and this turned out to be a musical but I coped quite well with that I think. The overall look and feel of the film was in keeping with previous versions and the story worked really well. The fact that this was written by part of the Ghosts team and it also had some amazing British actors in it meant that overall it was an excellent film.

As with previous 4DX experiences I think a good film doesn’t need the gimmick. It’s fun to experience now and then but I wouldn’t make it my usual cinema experience.

October 17 2023

For ENGLAND

The other day part of Squad Legend went to Battle in the south east of England to watch a re-enactment of the Battle Of Hastings. Battle is the name of the village that grew around the abbey supposedly built by King William to atone for the death and slaughter on the day of the battle. Plenty of people travelled to the grounds of the original battle and watched intrepid people dressed in wool and leather fight it out on the fields.

Before Great Britain was conquered [mostly] by the Romans there were tribes from northern Europe mainland who had settled in various parts of the island. The Romans ruled for 400 or so years and when they left there was space for the Angles and Saxons to invade and rule. Then the Vikings did their thing and the island was covered in lots of little Kingdoms. England itself, named for the Anglos, became unified in around 950CE or so. The people living in the island were descendants of Belgian, Roman, German, Danish, Scandinavian and French people. This is hardly a “pure breed” race. They spoke something that was not English.

This small history lesson is given because the commentary of the Battle of Hastings was full of inflammatory language and stereotypes. “Are you cheering for the English or the FOREIGNERS?”. It’s as if the Battle is trying to settle that the English were pure bred. They were a race of people with a right to live on the island. The accents of the spoken voices as part of the show were lovely and clear super English and also sneery French. William was referred to as The Bastard, which was his nickname, but it was used a lot, mainly when talking about the “invaders”.

It’s funny how the crowd cheered or booed the various state actors on the day. My mind was set on the idea that this country wouldn’t be as it is if the Normans [not French] hadn’t won and changed our culture and language. Talking to one of the re-enactors it turns out that these events do bring out the racists. Someone in the crowd behind us was shouting abuse at the Normans and calling for the English to be victorious. This person might have been having fun but they also called out cheering on “Saxony” which I wanted to tell him was in fucking Germany but I didn’t want to be stabbed.

At one point Harold asks if God as forsaken England, why does he allow this to happen? It’s amusing because Harold goes on to lose. God must have been on the invaders side. God cares not for the people living in England at that time. Remember, everyone should shout for “England”, whatever the fuck that means. I guess it’s a privilege I have to be nonchalant about my “country”. I have the freedom to express my distaste for what this country stands for and I won’t be strung up at the Tower. I should think myself lucky I’m a SUBJECT OF THE KING in a country where I can disagree so loudly. I don’t even know what being English means.

It was a really pleasant day and lovely to see the fights. I enjoyed it. It was just a shame about the jingoism but maybe I’m too sensitive??

September 23 2023September 23 2023

Rather Irritating

Game design is generally good these days and I think the makers actually think about the interactive experience of it all. But. I hate Epic for this within the Fortnite game:

This might look ok at first glance but if you look at the top menu the order goes Combat, Exploration, Challenge. Then, if you look at the bottom menu the order is Challenge, Combat, Exploration. Who the fuck designs something like that? Awful Just awful.

September 9 2023

Tanks And The Forest

Towards the end of my summer period of “not-work” I went to the New Forest with the families. The weather was medium for most of the time allowing shorts and t-shirts but it did get chilly overnight in the tents. The campsite was Hollands Wood which was quite large but maximum occupancy levels were enough to keep it feeling quiet. Driving through the moors was very interesting – the idea that this level of wilderness exists in the south of England was surprising.

One of the reasons the New Forest was chosen was that it was on the way to the Tank Museum at Bovington. People in my house play War Thunder and while it’s not my game of choice they are both pretty good at tank recognition – I am not. The number of tanks, the history, the show, the arena, all made for an excellent visit.

Sherman Tank - Fury - Bovington Tank Museum — Sherman Tank – Fury – Bovington Tank Museum

I found it interesting seeing all the different tanks and I took a lot of photographs, but, I will admit that once I got home all the different tanks kind of blurred into one! A big heavy metal thing with a gun sticking out of it. The kids had a great time and loved seeing the tanks in real life. We all had a ride on a Vietnam was era troop carrier, it took us around the arena a few times and was great fun if dirty and noisy!

Tracked Personnel Carrier - Bovington Tank Museum — Tracked Personnel Carrier – Bovington Tank Museum

I guess I’ll try and find another place like this for next year. Something with planes, trains and automobiles.

August 7 2023

Current Fortnite Stats

I’ve been playing Fortnite since about last October. I quite enjoy it, it’s not my favourite game but it is the only one I play where I get to interact with the family and run around killing things. I’ve played Navy Seals in the past and the online experience wasn’t great, especially if you’ve only just started playing online and don’t have all the time to get good at the game. Fortunately the Legend has guided me through Fortnite and I’ve got some kids who play better than me and carry me a lot. Here are the stats from the Fortnite game itself:

I get carried a LOT in squads. I think I’m most proud of the top 5 statistic in the Duos category. Considering a lot of the time the Legend and I are just driving around breaking things and generally having a bit of a giggle to get top 5 that much I think is impressive.

The above table is all of the stats but percentaged for each category. I honestly have no idea if the percentages are good. Also, to be honest, I don’t care. The thing about these games is to have fun. Once you become too competitive I think it becomes less fun and more stressy. This is the main reason why I don’t play Gran Turismo online that much. There’s too much stress. Oh, I’ve just passed 800 hours on Minecraft – yes, I’ll take that applause, thank you.

July 28 2023

The Best/Worst Place

I recently took a trip with the Legend to a part of the world that is very strange. If you travel in Kent towards the Marshes and then venture even beyond that you end up at a reclaimed part of the world that boasts loads of special scientific interest because of its geomorphology. I’m not sure what that means but basically it’s quite a special place. So, we have an area of land that is scientifically important so what should we do with it? Let’s place a nuclear power station there – it’s close to the sea and there’s not many people living nearby.

Some other things to point out, which bother me a little. There’s an airport close by, about 4km according to the map above. This seems a little bothersome. Then there’s also a massive army weapon training area close by, again within about 4km. I know it’s desolate on those ranges because I’ve been there and shot at things. Nuclear power, weapons and aircraft. Nothing much happening there, very little to see!

Nuclear Power - Dungeness — Nuclear Power – Dungeness

There is a strange desolation to this place. It was sunny but windy when we went and you get an idea of how it must feel in a storm. It’s very open and, if I’m allowed to be horrible, feels quite backward. It’s the sort of place you wonder if you need to carry cash or whether cards will work.