Jubilee Celebrations

This communication is pretty much the limit of my Jubilee celebration. I’m not fussed about the monarchy, however, I do think they are the least worst out of all the governance options.
Eccles park on Jubilee day:

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And for the jingoistic amongst you here’s a Union flag not quite blowing in the wind.

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Lovely View

Out on run yesterday and had just climbed 5-O hill (more later on that). The view over the Medway valley is lovely. Makes the climb worthwhile. For the route of the run click here.

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Descent into Metal

Having already covered my descent into skepticism in a previous communication I thought I should cover what I regard as my journey to the correct side of music. I was about 15 when I found my way. It was a gradual dawning, that slow awakening, the discovery of sounds and noises that made me feel. A friend suggests that emotional response to music is a basic measure of personality and psychological construction. I would agree. I don’t think that the shiver down the spine can be manipulated. It is a basic fact of your identity. Anyway, here’s my own story of metal with some embarrassment along the way.

Before 1982 my main exposure to music was listening to ABBA cassette tapes that my mum owned and Oxygene by Jean Michel Jarre that my dad had. Not a good start it must be said. For some reason the punk explosion of the 70s was completely missed on me, being only six years old at the time. I can remember a couple of Dr Hook songs and that’s about it. Remember that at this time in (un)civilisation there were exactly three tv channels and about four legal radio stations.

At some point the music in the charts began to make its way into my consciousness. Previously I have indicated my first single and album purchases. I don’t count these as having any particular musical taste because I was buying what was popular. I did listen to those songs a lot though. My first real taste of excitement came with a particular guitar solo in a particular song.

Together in electric dreams

This single by Georgio Moroder and Philip Oakley was the main track from a film soundtrack but the guitar solo was something else. It really made me think about guitars and the sounds they make. This was late 1984.

My next music references occur during 1986. I had joined the Air Cadets (a communication about this will definitely follow) and was now mixing with older teenagers and listening to their music and conversations. The following is a list of music events during 1986 and may not be in correct chronological order but given that it was 26 years ago that’s not a great surprise.

  • Europe released “The Final Countdown” and I really liked it.
  • Bon Jovi released some songs from the “Slippery When Wet” album and I really likes those.
  • Status Quo released “In The Army Now” which I liked.
  • Top Gun came out and the soundtrack was ace, especially the tile track and its gentle  guitar riff.

In 1987 Def Leppard released “Hysteria” and I think my path was realised. I distinctly remember being at RAF Brize Norton for ATC annual camp and we listened to “Hysteria” and “Slippery When Wet” all the time. I was 15. During the summer Guns ‘n’ Roses released “Appetite for Destruction” and I saved my pennies and bought the album. I managed to get a copy of the record with the dodgy robot-rape cover that got changed (I didn’t think much of it at the time). I can remember being in the car driving home from Bishop’s Stortford and reading the lyrics from the inner sleave and being amazed that they had printed the swear words. Towards the end of the year I had discovered Iron Maiden and their album “The Number of the Beast”. At some point in that year “Animal” by WASP was discovered along with the song “DB Blues” and the bad language and music was really starting to work. Now I’m not quite at heavy-rock-bottom yet but I have pretty much followed my path of destiny.

1988 was the start of my concert going and the release of “Seventh Son of a Seventh Son” by Iron Maiden. My mum bought the album for me and it made me very happy. I was meant to attend the Def Leppard concert at the Royal Albert Hall over the Easter break but was called upon to attend the ATC Cyprus Camp for about 12 days so elected to head overseas. This meant that my first concert was Iron Maiden on the 10 December 1988.

At some point over the next year or so I got into Metallica and AC/DC. In the mean time there was a documentary on BBC2 called Heavy Metal. I watched it and there was a clip of a band called Megadeth playing “Peace Sells” at a concert. I didn’t really think much of it but for weeks I had the opening riff bouncing around in my head and I decided to buy the album. Initially I was slightly disappointed but over time the whole album sunk in and stayed. It’s brilliant along with the next one called “So Far, So Good, So What”. It’s all lovely stuff.

Fast forward to 2012 and I am just about finished buying up CD versions of all my albums and putting them onto my iPhone. There’s a couple of albums I still need to get and I’m always on the search for new stuff that affects me but I’m starting to reach the point where a lot of music is old hat and just a particular fashion coming around again to be unleashed on the next generation.

Reptile!

This communication was going to be called Snake! but it turns out this would have been very incorrect. Last night once my boys were in bed we noticed a “snake” in the garden.

Slow worm in the garden

It’s a shame that my boys weren’t awake to see it. I think they would have been fascinated. WW took these photos and then I looked on a website to see what kind of snake it was. Turns out it’s a slow worm and not a real snake. Just a lizard that has evolved in such a way as to remove its legs.

Slow Worm Again

Just love living in the countryside.

Vader’s Saber

My form group have left their compulsory education, although most are coming back, and as I will no longer be their form tutor they very kindly bought me a gift.

Darth Vader's Lightsaber
Darth Vader's Lightsaber

It is a .45 scale replica of the lightsaber prop used in the film of Star Wars Episode 4. It’s an excellent choice of weapon, being the one that disptached Obi Wan Kenobi about three quarters of the way through the film.

Thanks very much 11Ph.

Ammonite

I got two rather cool gifts from my further mathematics class when I saw them for the last time today. The first thing is an iPhone case that looks a lot like a very early calculator.

iPhone Calculator Case

There is a slight mistake though because you can’t write “hello” on a calculator without putting a decimal point after the zero so it should look like “hell.o”. Just me being a pedant and geek there.

The next gift is a gorgeous looking fossil.

Ammonite
Ammonite

The details of this fossil are:

Upper Lias, Lower Jurassic Ammonite from Whitby:-

Dactylioceras (Orthodactylites) tenuicostatum

The Grey Shales, Tenuicostatum Subzone, Tenuicostatum Zone, Upper Lias, Lower Jurassic, Kettleness, Nr. Whitby, North Yorkshire, England

180 million years old

Really impressed with this. Going to keep it safe.

The class were: Alex, Peter, Lewis, Stephen, Michael, James, Thomas, Thomas and Joshua.

Firsts

It’s time to open up some of my darkest secrets! Once upon a time I was a young teenager unsure of my musical direction. I was still searching (although unknowingly) for the style of low density fluid compression waves that would emotionally move me. Here’s some interesting trivia:

The first single I bought on 7″ vinyl was “99 Red Balloons” by the German singer Nena. It was sometime in 1984 so I was 12 years old. I’ve never really been a lyrics man concentrating more on the music but the song fits in quite well with my previous post about nuclear war.

The second single I bought caused some controversy between me and my best friend of the time, Mark. He thought I ought to buy “The Reflex” by Duran Duran but I chose more wisely and opted for “Two Tribes” by Frankie Goes To Hollywood. This was 1984 still. Once again this is a song about nuclear war.

The first album I bought came with a warning from my Mum that I was spending a lot of money and I should be sure that I really wanted it. I bought the Ghostbusters film soundtrack on 12″ vinyl. It is still 1984. I still have it in a proper box in the cupboard ready for future play. I still have a record player set up in the dining room just in case. There is a record on the player, it is Dance With The Devil by Cozy Powell.

I don’t recall what my first CD was but I do know that I didn’t have a CD player on which to listen to it! I think I bought a CD single by W.A.S.P. it might have been “The Real Me”. I’ll have to look in the attic to see if I can find which singles I bought.

I don’t throw music away. This is a potential fault because as my children grow up they might find some of the awful stuff I bought when I was young. I guess that music reflected my tastes at the time. I don’t think there is a record or piece of music of which I am ashamed as it is a part of me at some level.

The Slip Road

Along with previous posts about driving [Thank you and Throttle] I would like to add this short rant.

I have noticed a number of people recently who take the slip road to join the motorway (mainly the M20 near me) who decide to continue at the mediocre speed they were doing before the motorway.
This is clearly dangerous. The whole point of the slip road is to allow traffic to match the speed of the vehicles on the main carriageway. Most traffic seems to travel near 70 miles per hour on the motorway so heading down the slip road at 40 to 50 mph is just plain dangerous. It’s no surprise that I get annoyed when my safety is put at risk because another driver on the road doesn’t have the confidence to drive at a proper speed.

The highway code says [my emphasis]:

259

Joining the motorway. When you join the motorway you will normally approach it from a road on the left (a slip road) or from an adjoining motorway. You should

  • give priority to traffic already on the motorway
  • check the traffic on the motorway and match your speed to fit safely into the traffic flow in the left-hand lane
  • not cross solid white lines that separate lanes or use the hard shoulder
  • stay on the slip road if it continues as an extra lane on the motorway
  • remain in the left-hand lane long enough to adjust to the speed of traffic before considering overtaking

Put your foot down please and stop endangering my life.

4 Minute Warning

While out running the other day I was pondering the end of the world. I was listening to After The War, an album by Gary Moore [the Gary Moore concert at Wembley Arena is another tale]. The songs made me think of all the times as a youngster I worried about nuclear war. I reached self awareness towards the end of the 1970s and with that came the realisation that I lived on a tiny planet orbiting in the middle of nowhere.
The news used to be full with suspicion of the Russians and what naughty things they might be up to. Russian invasion seemed inevitable and so did the possibility of mutually assured destruction. Spies and diplomats were being expelled from various countries in tit-for-tat manoeuvres. We regularly took part in war games as did the Russians.
I clearly remember talking with friends about what we would do if the 4 minute warning was sounded. Who would we try to see or spend our last minutes with. I grew up close enough to London to know that the blast wave might not get me but the radiation and collapse of society probably would. What plans could I make to ensure that like in the movies I ended up one of the survivors.
There was a film on TV in the mid-80s which started with a nuclear bomb exploding above Sheffield. This affected me. I don’t think I watched past the first few minutes but I was always bothered with the vision of a mushroom cloud rising above the city. My dad said probably the best thing ever to me, although he might have been lying. I asked him if there would be a nuclear war and he responded:

If I thought there was going to be a nuclear war I wouldn’t have brought you into the world.

I found this remarkably calming. Looking back I think the threat of war caused immense stress. However, I do wonder what adults thought about the threat of war. Was it as high as I imagined or was I too sensitive. I liken it to the threat of terrorism now. The public perceived threat is far greater than the threat of real events occurring.

Special Sister Parish

I’ve had to write this communication because some of my pupils at work have told me to. Very kindly they got me a card for being their form tutor. It contains some nice words but is titled:

For a special sister [parish]

Miss Diamond Dame, if it doesn’t sparkle, quite simply, it’s lame

The also got me a poster for my room. It’s cool.

AT-AT in Manhattan

Thanks very much, Andy and Harrison.

Clematis

Here’s a picture of our clematis. Looks lovely. Also, given the dog ate all but one of the main stalks three years ago I’m surprised in got this far.

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One or Two Fingers?

Recently the WW and I have been on a bit of a health regime. This requires us to not worry about supplements (mostly rubbish) and just keep track of food and exercise. It’s been a while since I have felt physically fit and at a healthy weight. There have been a number of times when my mass has been measured by a health professional and they’ve said that I was a bit over-weight. Yes, that was true, but I was also quite aware of it.
So over Christmas I decided to copy the WW and I installed an app on the iPhone that tracks my calorie intake. I can scan the bar code on foods and select the correct amount and then try to keep to a particular daily calorific maximum. This I have done reasonably successfully and have now reached a healthy mass of 82Kg (if you want my weight then just multiply by your local value of g).
More recently because of the change of official time to British Summer Time (something I am not convinced has any particular basis) I can also take advantage of the light evenings and go running. I should point out that my version of running is really just a jog. The biggest problem with this is that I also take the dog. He doesn’t really understand that I just want to go at a steady pace for 30 minutes or so and he runs off to sniff other dogs or just plain gets under my feet. Anyway, the upshot of the last month of running is that I can comfortably run about 5km in just under 30 minutes and am doing this about 4 times a week. A secondary bonus is that the dog has lost a little bit of his winter fat and is now also looking much healthier. See this Fooyah communication for the route I tend to run.
And so to the crux of this Fooyah communication. If you are calorie counting you need to decide whether certain foods are worth it. For me, cake is plainly not worth the calories. My enjoyment of cake per calorie is particularly low. To give me a sense of “is it worth it” I use the international SI unit of food expectation/enjoyment which is a finger of Cadbury’s Twirl. One standard Twirl finger is 115 kCal. Now whenever I am faced with a choice of snacks or foods to eat I balance it with the Twirl. Is the energy content I am about to eat greater in enjoyment to the Twirl or less. If the answer is less then there is a lower chance of me actually eating that particular food. For example: a small iced sponge cake from Tesco is 150kCal. Compared to the equivalent in Twirls the enjoyment is much much lower and so the cake should not be eaten. A banana is about 80 kCal and so although not really tasty is quite cheap in terms of calories and so worth eating. One teaspoon of Nutella is 81 kCal and so not really worth it but is a nice treat if I feel like it.
The rest of my life is probably going to be a calorie counting feast of Twirl decisions but I can live with that if it keeps me on the right side of healthy.

The app on the iPhone is called: MyFitnessPal.

Thank You!

I know I am a grumpy git. I know that I am now old fashioned. I know that I moan about too many things and should probably just accept the state of things as they are and move on.

However – It doesn’t take much energy to say thank you when you cut me up on the roads and pull in front of me.

I don’t mind how you say it:

  • you can flash your hazard lights
  • you can wave out the back window
  • you can wave of your side window
  • you can hack into the DVLA database and find my address and send me a gift voucher

Just say “THANK YOU”.

Most of the time you have pulled in front of my car while I’m travelling at more than 50mph and I’m trying to leave a safe distance between me and the car in front because I am normally carrying the most precious cargo possible. You have deemed this a suitable place into which to drive and not worry about a conscientious driver trying to be safe – acknowledge your arseholeness.

Change

I started gaming just after I persuaded my parents to buy a Commodore 64 for “educational” reasons. We’d had an Atari in the house before then and so I could play pong and tennis but the C64 was my first proper computer. I remember buying games on cassette tape for £1.99. These games must have been below 32kB as that was all the RAM on the C64 and it was tape drive.

Since then I have progressed from the Sega MegaDrive through all versions of the Sony Playstation. I was a little shocked but not really surprised that the latest GT Academy came in at a 3GB download! Wow, we have moved on so much. [yes – I know that Blu-Ray disks hold about 50GB but its just amazing to see this in real numbers]

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Fulham Five Day

5th May 2012

The inaugural Fulham Five Day. A date where members of the F5 aim to replicate activities from 20 years ago.

the inaugural, annual F5 Day called so to commemorate the 20th anniversary of the formation of the F5

Here’s some of the activities the 5 got upto on the Inaugural Fulham 5 Day.

Have called back and told them to lock the door and hide all the toilet paper- said I would explain later. In keeping with the F5 tradition I am going to have a completely normally day. I expect emails from the rest of you so I can send emails back saying tut tut.

I will purposefully leave my dinner out this evening, down here that will be covered in flies and maggots by morning. Just about to book my flight so I can break into Mazza’s apartment! I will call as many people as I can a c**t and be surprised when they are offended!

Celebrating by not doing any examination lesson preparation. Going to spend 2 minutes looking at past papers and then say “screw this”. Put “Killing in the name of” on loud and lie on the floor in the dark with my sunglasses on. Possibly head to the chippy after that for sausage and chips and coming back via the off licence for a few cans of Murphy’s. Will piss in the kitchen sink in the morning and check how cooked the spaghetti is by throwing it at the wall. Might even burn an important letter for the guy downstairs later in the week! Going to turn on the games console, play Attack Sub and Desert Storm and will then settle in for a Madden fest playing the Redskins. After that I’ll let Jase play Phantasy Star for a complete weekend! Will wait for Ades to come in later and try to sleep with Mazza. Going to take appointments for the doctors surgery when the phone goes at 830 in the morning.

Sorry to arrive late, but I spent the weekend sitting on Jason and ferrying breakables out of his room after he downed a bottle of Smirnoff.  You should see the state of his sofa…
I’m looking forward to 5.5.55 when I suggest we all rent a flat in Fulham below some rowdy students and turn the tables on them.