Rationalisation

I spent some time yesterday dusting the AV corner in the lounge. There’s a fair amount of kit there and dust had built up. While doing that I realised that I don’t need the PS3 there anymore. I don’t play it. I had kept it lying around for GT6 in the days before GT Sport. Now the game is on the PS4. There are probably a few legacy games I will miss but I don’t have the time to play them!

This is a picture of the cabling I cleared out:

I decided I don’t need the Blu-Ray player connected to the LAN, nor the Amp. It’s likely I don’t need the Blu-Ray player there at all because of the PS4 but I’ll leave it there for another day.

March 24 2018

MV 22B

I spent real money on a computer game add-in. Like I really pressed the “buy” button with the full knowledge that it was going to cost me money. However, I think it was worth it. I have spend actual £ on an F-18, and F-35 and now a MV22B Osprey.

There are real ospreys that fly over Lake Bassenthwaite in the Lake District and now I have my own [made from steel, although more likely carbon fibre as it’s a very expensive aircraft].

What a lovely looking beast. I haven’t managed a successful landing yet. But I will keep trying.

March 22 2018January 29 2022

BAH!

On Saturday I went with a friend to BAHFest London. The Bad Ad Hoc Hypothesis Festival is a celebration of bad science presented as good science with graphs and everything. The London version is held at Imperial College and so this seemed fitting to spend my birthday in the grounds of a place I have spend previous birthdays.

After dinner out with Mazza we arrived in the Great Hall to be seated in the second row as we were running slightly late. I’ve not been to one of these before but I have been a fan of Zach Weinersmith for a long time as he writes the SMBC online comic. There are quite a few of these printed out and on the wall in the maths office. BAHFest was slated to start at 19:00 and so, this audience is one of the nerdiest I have ever been part of. An event about science in a science university at 7 on a Saturday! You have to go some to beat that for qualifications and jokes about i.

The host was Matt Parker and the judges are below, but Tim Harford was the one I recognised the most although only his voice. I have listened to his radio 4 show More Or Less for many years. The other judges were Lindsey Fitzharris, Dr Jen Gupta and Sydney Padua.

There was a keynote speaker, a cartoonist from France, Boulet, once the six bad ideas with good science were presented the crowd voted on them and the applause was rated using a sound meter. It was lovely to spend time in a geeky environment and have intelligent discourse.

For an example about the presentations one of the plans was how to mitigate or reverse the current global warming trend line of increasing temperatures by inducing a small nuclear winter. The discussion was then based on where to explode the nukes and it turns out that the middle bit of Canada where no-one lives was just perfect, forest with a low population. This idea was backed up with graphs and diagrams and calculations.

After the event the panel were available to sign books they had published. Mazza and I didn’t go to that. I’d already bought a couple of the books and have ordered another. The rational part of my brain tells me that having a squiggle of ink added to a book doesn’t change that book. The financial part of me is aware of the actual value people place on such objects.

Mark and I then went to the Student Union Bar. It’s just over Prince Consort Road inside Beit Quad. Both of us have Life Membership of the SU, mine is Honorary, I can’t remember if Mark’s is. I hadn’t got my HLM card though and Mark signed me in. Our purpose was to have a drink using one of the pots / tankards that live in the Traditional Bar. I had a choice:

Aerosoc Chair
Departmental Society Officer
Spanner Bearer
Deputy President Clubs and Societies

My tankard of choice would be Spanner Bearer but it wasn’t there! I’m not sure what has happened to it but I was a little saddened. So, I chose DPCS. I had a lovel ypint of an IPA and it was good. As far as I could tell the Traditional Bar hadn’t changed. The main bar was quite different and as we walked through it I can tell you there is nothing to make you feel old as walking through a student bar when you are in your mid-forties.

There’s another tradition that if someone named before you on the pot comes into the bar then it is your duty, as the junior, to finish your pint and then buy that person a fresh pint and relinquish the pot. As I am the second person on this pot, the post being new a year before, there is very little chance that I get “potted”.

FYI, the Bolt Bearer pot is still behind the bar.

March 11 2018March 22 2018

Red Sparrow

I went to watch Red Sparrow at the cinema in Rochester. I definitely did check the state of the tide and it was neither fully in nor fully out. I have no idea which way it was travelling. I rate the films I see at the cinema on IMDB and there’s a guide to the scoring system in this communication. With the current score I believe I am shifting the scores I give back to a proper system. I’ve been worried that my scores have been creeping.

I rated Red Sparrow (2018) 4/10 #IMDb https://t.co/bBIqfnFV4B

— Ian Parish (@iparish) March 10, 2018

So, clearly I didn’t like it. I am going to sneak over to some reputable websites and read a few reviews of this movie because I found it mostly poor. I’m probably going to end up with spoilers in the following text so you may want to not read on.

The premise that Russia is using sex and honey-traps to entice people into betraying their country isn’t new or exciting. In fact the whole “training” section of this movie had absolutely zero effect on the rest of the movie. You could remove that entire section and the movie would still make sense. This means it was pointless. It wasn’t even insightful. It encouraged spies to be rape and get raped. It was pretty shit. All it did was set up the idea that our heroine wouldn’t sleep with just anyone. Oh, that and allow a gratuitous nude shot of the lead.

I got about 75% through this movie and ended up confused about who was going where to do what and I stopped caring. It seemed remarkable that the Russian spy agency wasn’t watching their own spy as she travelled around screwing them over. She was a famous person being a spy. This is utter rubbish. We all know spies blend in. They don’t stand out.

Who can open a bank account in another person’s name with just their passport number? Really?

This movie contained violence, torture porn, blood, and overall was a bit shit. I don’t recommend it.

March 10 2018

Natural Consequence

Listening to the radio this morning and during the “What The Papers Say” section the presenters discussed an article in the Daily Mail. Now, clearly, anything in the DM is utter bullshit and should be ignored but I couldn’t help but be curious at the language the news BBC presenters used. It went along the lines of:

Councils are going to charge more for car parking . . . . . this will affect Sunday shoppers and church goers.

I’m not sure I agree with their assessment. I think it will affect people who want to park their cars. What those people do after they have parked their cars is entirely up to them. If you are using a service then you should expect to pay for it somehow, this seems a sensible approach to me. I’m don’t even want to get started on the righteousness invested in “church goers” as if they should have the freedom to do their religioning. I’ll shout this out later but going to church regularly doesn’t make you any more “moral” than the next person. May I kindly remind you of which system of moral belief has spent the last fifty years systematically covering up child abuse: step up the catholic church.

Councils charging more for the services they provide is a natural consequence of the austerity measures imposed on this country by successive governments since the 2007-2008 financial crisis. Local councils have had their central government funding cut massively and so they need to either raise more money by themselves or cut services. It’s ingenious because it keeps the anger at local politicians rather than those in Westminster as your local council has to charge more but it’s NOT their fault.

Austerity has royally screwed this country over and the natural consequence of less money around was Brexit. The Tories have imposed their version of hatred on the peoples of this land and will make us all poorer.

Just for amusement here are some quotes from the DM website article about the parking charges and my comments:

Motorists face steep hikes in parking charges to plug holes in council budgets.

True, but no explanation about why the government isn’t funding the councils.

Some town halls are bringing in fees on Sundays to catch shoppers and churchgoers.

Replace “catch” with “charge for services”.

A number of local authorities are in extreme financial difficulties with much of the pressure coming from the rising cost of social care.

Because we don’t want to help those who are less well off or damaged within society. We want to park for nothing. The pressure is coming from chronic underfunding and rising inflation costs.

‘The war on motorists has got to stop,’ said Tory MP Robert Halfon.

“WAR”. Ha ha. Making people pay for a service they use is considered “WAR”. Perhaps the Tory MP could argue for increased central government funding for the councils to ease the legitimate parking charges. I hadn’t noticed a “war” on motorists. I’d love to hear an expanded explanation about that.

Dover and Bristol are planning to reintroduce Sunday charges in car parks as well as on streets.

So why the fake outrage? It’s hardly a war is it if these charges were in place before.

‘When will councils recognise that growing their income depends on low-cost and accessible parking, not knee-jerk cash grabs from hard-working motorists?’

English councils made a £819million surplus from parking fines, fees and permits during the 2016/17 financial year.

“Cash grabs” interpreted means paying for services. “Knee-jerk” implies a sudden change and easy decision. I suspect that having to raise charges is the last thing the councils want to do but is a necessity. The £819 million figure is disingenuous as it includes parking fines and is spread over the whole of England. Let’s face it, if you park somewhere you shouldn’t and get caught then pay the fine. There is no distinction in the article about how much income comes from those who break the rules. This figure use is designed to increase rage at councils rather than place that anger where it is deserved. This is what happens when your media is biased. To balance this I will probably have to have a look at a left leaning newspaper and so I promise to do that at some time.

Ninety-five per cent of town halls plan to increase council tax next month. Meanwhile, bin collections, libraries, social care and other services have been slashed.

NO DISCUSSION OF AUSTERITY MEASURES IMPOSED BY CENTRAL GOVERNMENT.

The number of households enjoying weekly rubbish rounds has plummeted by a third since 2010, the National Audit Office revealed this week.

OK, and this is important because? . . . . . . .

There are three paragraphs defending the action and it would be remiss of me to neglect to mention them.

Martin Tett of the Local Government Association said: ‘Local authorities remain on the side of hard-pressed motorists, shoppers and businesses and do not set parking charges to make a profit.

‘Car parks cost taxpayers money to maintain and improve and any surplus is spent on essential transport projects, such as tackling the £12billion roads repair backlog and creating new parking spaces.

‘To protect such provision, and in the face of an overall funding gap that will exceed £5billion by 2020, councils are being forced to make difficult decisions.’

These are followed directly by a paragraph telling of charges increasing in Bournemouth. The overall “reporting” in this article is designed to keep people angry, to keep them annoyed at “social costs”, to keep them thinking that motorists are hard workers and shouldn’t have to pay for these things. This is social engineering on a massive scale and it keeps happening in EVERY article in the piece of shit newspaper and website. The DM claims that the web version is an entirely separate entity but as Private Eye points out they both share the same executive editor.

The DM and Express along with other media have used their positions and influence over the last 12 years to engineer a social divide, to encourage hatred, to encourage an insular approach. They are the scum of this country. They are the ones fostering hatred towards people who are different or have needs. They promote the entitled view they so desperately mock.

It is time for me to stop or I’ll end up in a full blown rant and that’s not needed on a Saturday morning. I’ll leave you to ponder the use of language by our media.

March 6 2018

Correction

In this picture from yesterday’s communication I noticed that the author has named Graham Hill. The downhill section from Druids to Graham Hill Bend.

By John Chapman – Own work, CC BY-SA 4.0, Link

This naming is incorrect. While that section of track is informally called Graham Hill it is not named anything officially.

The corner is most definitely named Graham Hill Bend but the downhill section is name-less. It is occasionally and informally referred to as Graham Hill, but clearly should be called Graham Hill Hill if it was going to be named correctly.

March 5 2018

Corners Not Mastered

Here, just for fun, is a list of corners I still strugglw with in Gran Turismo Sport. I can’t consistently take these corners in a manner that makes me feel I’m getting the lowest lap time.

March 4 2018

Coco

This weekend I took at trip to the local cinema [possibly not the closest, will check . . . . . yep, second closest, about two miles further than the Odeon in Maidstone] to see Coco. Here’s a picture so I don’t have to write about the state of the tide:

Today the weather is back to boring grey. I preferred the white and cold. At least now I can turn the heating off for a while!

I rated the film on the IMDB website and there’s a guide to the rating system within this communication.

I rated Coco (2017) 8/10 #IMDb https://t.co/TGhKwBNdjL

— Ian Parish (@iparish) March 3, 2018

I have to say I thought the film was far better than the trailers had made it out to be. I was concerned it was going to be a religious load of rubbish but it turns out to be a lovely touching film about death. Seriously, that’s what it is about. It tells the story of how Mexico copes with death. It allows the world to picture that death is coming for us all and we only live on in the memories of those we leave behind. Coco tells us how fleeting this life is and how ultimately useless our lives are if we can’t get to be with those we love.

Along with looking just lovely, it’s Pixar, this film made me laugh and smile and want to cry. It was very good.

March 2 2018March 4 2018

Oh, I’m Soooooo Grateful

This has made me so angry:

The royal family is ALLOWING some SCUM (public) to attend a shindig within the GROUNDS of a shitting castle.

The language in this news article and the way it has been reported on the radio implies that WE SHOULD BE GRATEFUL. Fuck them. I am not grateful. I don’t care that two people are getting married. I don’t want to live in this bullshit hierarchical society.

Oh, the NORMAL people are being chosen by the Lord Lieutenants. Woopee-fucking-do. At least we now know whose cock you’ll have to suck to get an invite.

All of this royal family OBN reporting is an utter waste of energies. All it does is fuel the social beliefs that those people are better than everyone else. It reinforces that this society exists and class exists for a reason: that the public can’t be trusted. These nobs are born into their place in the world and so the rest of us had better get used to it.

Viva La Revolution

February 28 2018

It’s No Collapse

“Oh it all falls apart when it snows”

“An inch of snow and Britain can’t cope”.

Bullshit.

Firstly: We’ve had plenty of warning that there was going to be snow. It wasn’t a surprise.

Secondly: People should have been prepared for the roads to become bad and for transport to be cancelled. BECAUSE WE HAD WARNING.

But, why doesn’t anything work when it snows?

Because you don’t spend LOADS of money on services that are going to sit idle for 360/365 days of the year. If you want everything to work “just fine” when there’s a lot of snow then bloody well pay for it. It will cost a lot of money. It just doesn’t make economical sense.

Hopefully, many services have plans for getting through the snow. Hospitals and emergency services are important and I somewhat suspect that they HAVE plans. Being forewarned about the snow means those plans can be enacted.

Simple really.

February 28 2018February 28 2018

Winter Views

The weather over the last few days has been stunning. There’s a load of snow around and the whole of the county looks stunning. It has rather messed with my professional plans but, hey ho, I’m sure I’ll figure it out. The opportunity of being at home in daylight has meant that I have been for a couple of tentative runs since fucking my right Achilles. I am still walking and the Achilles seems intact. Not sure when I’ll next have a run but I’m pleased with the results so far.

So, these are the details of one of my runs. While I have been out I’ve taken many photos. I think they are gorgeous:

The countryside is stunning and I think that a couple of sub-zero temperature runs is just the way to celebrate the gloriousness of the whole thing. Ever wanted to know what snow does to trainers? The trainers are old, but waterproof and actually reasonably warm. I did notice today though that the sole is coming away so once they are dry I am going to glue them (again)!

I’m not too happy with having the heating on full time but it is the only way to keep my house warm. I guess I’ll have to pay for it over the rest of the year.

I also took some photos with the DSLR. This morning there was mist over the valley and it all looked just bloody gorgeous.

There was a dog walker out in the chill.

This concludes my winter pictures, until next time!

February 27 2018March 1 2018

Black Panther

Yesterday I went to the Cineworld cinema at Rochester to see Black Panther. I left work a little later than I had hoped and arrived at the cinema fifteen minutes after the show start, but I was still there easily in time for the start of the film. That did mean that I didn’t have too long to read my book, which is what I do while waiting for the adverts and trailers to pass. I am currently reading a NASA book about the development of pressure suits. It’s called Dressing For Altitude and is on this page. I will admit that I failed to notice the condition of the tide this trip.

For a long while now I have rated the films I see on the IMDB website and I did the same with this film. I didn’t rate it straight away as I wanted the film to settle in my head, so I scored it this morning. I believe I have to re-align my rating system as it is failing the purposes of use. I seem to give too many films a “6” and initially the system was designed to differentiate more than that. There’s an explanation of the scoring system in this communication.

I rated Black Panther (2018) 6/10 #IMDb https://t.co/95yhQLOYC0

— Ian Parish (@iparish) February 27, 2018

I think it is quite clear to me now that I don’t really like Marvel movies. I go see them as they are a nice way to observe the passage of time but I don’t think they are very good. It is true they are sumptuous and sometimes well scripted but superhero movies leave me flat. I’m always willing to let movies have a get-out-of-reality free card for a couple of things as long as the rest of the universe it creates is consistent and this one managed that. But my overall thoughts are “meh”.

Some things about this film were important I guess in this canon. There were many strong black characters who were fighting against the injustice of treatment against black people around the world. There were many strong female characters who were intelligent and fought well. So, there are good aspects to this film. A part of me thinks that if we want suffrage and racial equality then a superhero film isn’t going to change society but maybe it’s a start. Maybe Hollywood has to start somewhere.

I’m not aware of the original stories and so the following comments may seem harsh and too reality based but they are valid.

Why didn’t the tribes all drink the special purple juice to all be super-powered and therefore subjugate the entire white world?

Why was it necessary to have black tribes fighting black tribes, showing a constant rift in the collective power of Wakanda. I wanted more. I wanted the tribes to unite and over-rule the whites.

Riches for countries come from trade and education [once we got past the enslaving black people and stealing their natural resources]. Not apparently so for Wakanda. They had a city and flying machines but no-one knows about them.

It was nice to actually see Andy Serkis.

What does vibranium do?

Does nobody else notice the blue glow on the inside of the lips?

This film reinforces that to be great you have to be physically strong and fight well. Such bullshit in this modern liberal world where we recognise talent and brains [that’s my own little bubble, there are many twats out there who still celebrate the ability to hit people].

There was a lot about this film that was inconsistent. But, it’s a comic conversion and I guess I’m thinking about it too much.

February 18 2018February 18 2018

53.08 Degrees and 40 Kilometres

While visiting Lincolnshire it’s hard to avoid RAF bases and do some aircraft observation. So I spent some time at RAF Coningsby, one of three fighter bases, hosting squadrons of Typhoons. I also visited the air museum at Newark, which I had driven past a few times before but never stopped at. Here’s a selection of the best photos for you.

Before this weekend I had seen Typhoons just twice before. Once at RAF Marham performing a touch and go and once at a Duxford air show. The noise was marvellous.

The name of this communication represents the fact that both Coningsby and Newark are 53.08 degrees north and pretty much forty kilometres apart.

February 17 2018January 13 2020

Boston – Not New England

I wrote about watching a film in Boston in this communication and I also mentioned the place when explaining how far you can see from Tattershall Castle. I went for a proper look around, just to see what this place was like. Boston made its fortune many years ago and some parts of this town show that age old wealth. I guess the main problem at the moment is that the wealth is no longer around. This town struggles somewhat.

While driving back after seeing the film the other night I got a little bothered by the canals and roads and the utter straightness of this place. There were roads which were perfectly straight for about three miles, it’s a strange sensation when you are from the south east of this country.

This view gives an idea of the canal/drain, not the river Witham, I particularly like the roads either side and the tree lined avenue. Also, the complete lack of safety barrier which I’m sure would be knocking around down in my usual haunts. My first discovery was driving out past the windmill, somewhat a surprise, and I drove back in using this route to see the windmill in the daylight.

After I got parked in the town centre I went on the hunt for stuff. Also, I wanted to see the Stump up close. There was an area next to the river where the old customs house stands with a buoy for display. This lump of red steel was an original from The Wash and looked pretty. Boston had an unusual tidal surge in the past and the buoy was nearly covered in water, giving an indication of how bad floods can be for towns.

Saint Botolph’s Parochial Church of Boston wasn’t open by the time I got there and I suspect that I wouldn’t have been able to climb the tower but I am keen to have a go. It’s always worth getting up high in any town, it lends such perspective to human geography. There were plaques around the church celebrating the pilgrims who had headed off to the new lands of America to practise their religion freely. This country got rid of them because they were so damn weird and so they were sent away.

The Stump is certainly impressive in this barren flat landscape. It stands proud.

I’m not sure if it’s me but I noticed some strange things around the town. I’m possibly being slightly snobby here and I will have to declare that I haven’t really been in any town centre for probably a year, especially during the day time. I just don’t go into my local towns. There’s no need for me to head into the town centres and so my data set is rather limited.

There were many people using cash points. There were queues for the cash points. This was around 15:00 hrs on a Friday and maybe that is what happens in many towns but for some reason I was surprised and thought it was odd. I’m happy to be told I’m wrong, that this is a common occurrence around the country.

There also seemed to be many people smoking. I rarely go anywhere with a huge number of smokers and I suspect that my experience is somewhat limited. I could even smell smoke on me when I was back in my car. If I was so bothered I would go into towns near me during the daytime to get some comparative data, but this is unlikely, I doubt I will go. I don’t care enough about being wrong to want to check. This general hypothesis is not important to me.

Here’s the stretch of straight road, almost 5 miles but with a very, very slight kink.

The longest part of this road had warning signs saying that the road was uneven and the speed limit was 40mph. This, is a good thing. The road was very uneven and any faster could cause losing control of the vehicle. I doubt this will be fixed as it acts as a deterrent to driving with excessive speed.

While driving around Boston I noticed some red signs marked “out ER”. I wasn’t sure what these were but a quick Google informed me that they are Evacuation Routes for when there is a high risk of flooding. This seems pretty reasonable to me. It is sensible to have these routes planned so that people are aware of how to escape. It’s also sensible to have plans in place, here’s a link to the Lincolnshire council explanation [this link was removed as the page location was changed, Jan 2020].

February 17 2018February 17 2018

NOTAM

In a previous communication about Tattershall I said that I had heard that the RAF Typhoon display pilot was going to practice his display. This sort of information is publicly available through NOTAMS, Notices To Airmen. There are websites that give this information in map form. Basically if a crane is erected or there are runway issues or events coming up that might affect flying then information about that thing is posted to NATS.

This is the Typhoon NOTAM with information about where and when. That way, if you are planning to fly there you can avoid CGY.

Here’s what the pilot had to say about his display:

Well another great #phoonfriday for me to end the week. The fighter didn’t fancy it this morning despite the perfect weather but the family model was very keen this afternoon so that’s 1500ft complete! Roll on 1000ft next week….. 🤞🏼☀🚀 happy weekend all! 😎

— TyphoonDisplayPilot (@TyphoonDisplay) February 16, 2018

He went up in a two seater so I wonder if he was being assessed. I remember being at Linton-On-Ouse when the Tucano display pilot was having his assessment to get his display ticket for the season, you could hear the engine pulling the plane in high-g turns just above the airfield. It was very impressive.

February 16 2018February 16 2018

Flat Of The Land

I’ve been on a trip to Lincolnshire and the Fens. The journey up here was surprising from Peterborough onwards as I hadn’t really realised just how far these low lands and fen lands go. I haven’t seen a hill for a whole day now and while that might not seem strange you only have to come here for it to freak you out. The roads here a remarkably straight following the line of the irrigation canals, the highest points are road bridges over the canals or railways. Houses here are dotted around, few and far between with a loneliness that seems saddening. My initial thoughts about this place are that the four walls poking out from the ground must be expensive to heat, there is nothing to stop the winter winds. The landscape must be fantastic in winter although I would imagine it’s a struggle, a 4×4 is definitely required. I wonder what the broadband bandwidths are like?

Tattershall Castle is not far from where I am staying and so I visited. It’s a pretty large building that protrudes out from moated grounds to accentuate the plane aspects of this countryside.

This castle is pretty old and the high ceiling rooms are impressive. The beams used to support the floors above are immense. I didn’t go for the audio tour, I didn’t want to be stuck to a particular routine. I actually wanted to get to the top to see RAF Coningsby. The flight line is quite a clear sight from the top of the castle, along with the hangar that houses the Battle Of Britain Memorial Flight. Unfortunately nothing took off or landed while I was in a suitable place to see.

I was surprised that the Boston Stump was clearly visible to the south along with Lincoln Cathedral almost directly to the north. The Stump was about 19 km away and the cathedral is 27 km to the NE. This is how flat this land is. You can easily see for miles. The trees, houses and road signs punctuate this barren landscape. My normal “escape” is the English mountains in the Lake District and this place is the exact opposite.

The churchyard next to the castle had some early signs of spring grasping the sun light and air:

I didn’t spend ages at Tattershall. I had heard that the RAF Typhoon display pilot was going to have a practice and I left the castle with fifteen minutes to spare to get to a suitable viewing point. The morning practice had been cancelled, although reasons I have none.

My favourite part of Tattershall was the ramp going to an ante-room. The ramps takes you up the first step but look carefully at the picture and you can see where once up one step you are fucked because the second step is pretty much straight in front of you with no room to manoeuvre. It’s brilliant placement.

Yes, I know that plane is spelt plane and not plain in this case normally but I decided the ramp was boring and useless, hence plain.

February 16 2018

The Shape Of The Water

I journeyed to see The Shape Of The Water, and while I usually comment on the state of the tide during these reviews I am afraid I cannot this time. I went to see this film in Boston. That’s the Boston in Lincolnshire which gave its name to Boston, Ma. There is always tide but all I could see in Boston was canals. As is also customary on this site I rated the film on IMDB and there’s a communication here about the scoring system. I do still think it’s time to update the rating system but that’ll happen when I get around to it.

I rated The Shape of Water (2017) 6/10 #IMDb https://t.co/yEgZcbyekU

— Ian Parish (@iparish) February 16, 2018

So, I should probably say what I thought about this film. I really enjoyed it. The word that kept running through my head as I watched it was “sumptuous”. Everything about this film looked lovely. The re-creation of the 50s worked well along with the well designed flats where the main characters live above a cinema, which seems to be an ideal place to live.

The merman was brilliant and the scene where we meet him and see his eyes and lids was lovely. The whole structure of the research facility was brilliant if rather cliche. It seemed very comic-book. The love story was fine as a love story. This filmed had me smiling throughout, it was nicely put together.

One thing really annoyed me and that was that for some reason the merman had to wait until the rains had come and filled the canal before being released to the sea. This is rather strange. I’m sure he could have been released straight into the river the other side of the dock gates. The whole idea of canals is that they generally are full all the time. That’s why we build them.

The cinema I went to was quite a change from the multi-plexes that exist in the south east. This cinema was in the centre of a town and looked as though it had a long history. The screen was quite small but I’m not one to be bothered by size. Perhaps a good thing was the GBP7.45 for a ticket.

As another member of the audience left he walked past me and declared:

“What a load of bollocks”

I do not share that sentiment, but masterpiece this was not.