Maps eh? This is the picture of a wall chart by Michelin (the French company but for their English cousins). It is a Van Der Grinten projection with changes made by Michelin. I’m not sure it’s ethical to change a map projection but they did.
This map makes Great Britain look the same size as France. The real multiplier is that France is 2.2 times the size of the UK, let alone GB.
Spain is really twice as big as Great Britain.
Although it’s not on this picture Kenya looks about the same size as GB but is in fact 2.4 times bigger.
What have Michelin done? They’ve made it appear that Great Britain is larger than it is really. Oh dear. Perhaps we should all watch the
Somebody’s Going to Emergency, Somebody’s Going to Jail
episode of the West Wing. It will explain it all, I assure you.
By the way, the last time I saw this episode of the West Wing was summer 2013 in Keswick while I was visiting penguin.
In 1988 I went to the British Formula One Grand Prix with my sister and friends. We were four in total, Nick, Andy, Tracy and me. It was pretty exciting and one of the first “big days out” I had done as a teenager (I was 16).
I remember about five things about the day:
It rained
We watched from the Hangar Straight
Nigel Mansell came second
Andy and I bought an umbrella
We couldn’t hear the radio commentary because the cars were too loud
A car came to a stop right in front of us
Ok, wow, that’s six things about the day. I also want to say that we drove there in an Austin Allegro but I don’t think that is correct. I shall check and get back to you.
According the to Wikipedia page on this race it did rain, which is reassuring for my memory cells and Mansell did come second. It’s the umbrella I want to focus on.
As it rained so much Andy and I decided to buy an umbrella. We didn’t have enough money to each buy one so we put our funds together and bought a Marlboro McLaren umbrella from a stall. This umbrella served us well during the day and from then on we agreed we would share the umbrella between us as we both owned it.
I think this arrangement may have lasted about a year until I lost the umbrella. It’s something I feel a little bad about even to this day [when I remember to]. I had a strange canvassing job for Eissman who were trying to build a business of home delivered frozen food. A group of us would wander crappy (and some not-so-crappy) housing estates delivering the catalogue of frozen delights and then two days later we would ring every door bell and see if we could have the catalogue back, preferably with an order. It was commission only.
For this particular week I was getting a lift with the son of the vicar of Ugley in Essex. We were working in Letchworth in Hertfordshire. The weather must’ve been bad because I had the umbrella with me and then left it in his car when he dropped me off from another unsuccessful day at work. I’m pretty sure he quit and didn’t turn up again. As a job it was pretty bad, I lasted two weeks. What is more annoying is that I lost the umbrella which meant quite a bit to me.
I remembered this recently when I was teaching ratios to a class of mine. I told the story and then text Andy about it. He had forgotten what happened to the umbrella, but for me, I feel the loss nearly every day!
I had a lovely time at a wedding in June or at least people tell me so, I don’t remember much of it at all. Anyway, the hotel room had sugar lumps for coffee and tea but each one was individually wrapped in plastic. What a waste!
Yes, I know it’s grammatically incorrect. But that’s the point, read on dear Fooyah follower. I am sure that this is wrong and someone should be sacked for putting this on posters [if this poster is written correctly then tweet me or something and I’ll withdraw this post in shame]:
The correct version of this is:
Who’s stolen our lions?
I’m never really sure who to blame in these situations. It’s a bit like the problem with sign writers. If they are given instructions telling them what to write and it’s grammatically incorrect do sign writers have a duty to correct the English or to put what the customer has written on a sign? It probably doesn’t matter as most people wouldn’t be bothered by something as trivial as a spelling mistake or grammar. But these things are important. There’s a proper way to write information to ensure that meaning is as accurate as possible.
Language is there so we can communicate effectively. What happens to society when newspapers are unable to write properly?
This Fooyah.net communication is to give some advice on how to give signals when someone else is parking their car. To me this seems an obvious thing to do, but so many people don’t do it so it needs explaining. This is partly made irrelevant by “parking sensors” but then I don’t really agree with them in the same way I don’t agree with automatic headlights. If you can’t park your car you shouldn’t be driving. I know technology is there to make life easier but let’s face facts: some people aren’t good enough to warrant owning a driving licence.
The Situation
You want to park in a tight spot and need someone to give you hand signals so you know where your car is in relation to other (fixed) objects, another car or fence post.
The Wrong Hand Signal Method
The person guiding you into your parking spot waves their hand backwards and forwards. This gives you, as the driver, absolutely no information and all the power and control is in the hands of a potential moron who is helping you park.
The Correct Hand Signal Method
This method relies on the helper being able to indicate distance by just looking at the gap but it gives you are driver information and the ability to control the situation. The hands are held apart roughly the same distance that is between your car and the obstruction. As a driver you now know distance and rate of closure. You, as the driver, can decide when you are close enough and also have overall control of the situation. This method should be taught to everyone.
So, there you have it. How to give parking signals. I don’t even want to begin to explain what bumpers are for!
I had intended to use this site to moan about various BBC news articles where the reporting was poor. It is quite clear to me now that if I pointed out every problem with just the news section I would have to leave my current job and spend all my time informing you about how bad the News section of the BBC is. It is truly awful. However, it is the least awful source of news within the UK. I occasionally look at the HuffPo app on my phone and it reports complete bollocks and also has blog articles masquerading as news items. The BBC quite clearly feels it is in a free market and that readership or just spouting news for 24 hours a day is the most important thing. Well, it’s not. I would quite happily watch BBC news if it was only on twice a day and not around the clock as it currently is. Let’s get this straight, for most of the day: nothing happens. Nothing worth reporting.
Breathe.
Calm.
My latest problem is with one line in the new Atlantis series. Jason says to Pythagoras something along the lines of
Well, you and your triangles have been boring school children silly for thousands of years.
This is utter populist arse. Pythagoras’ Theorem occurs everywhere and is even used within relativistic equations. The music work Mr P did founded European music. All the great things that have happened can be linked in someway to Pythagoras and the early pioneers of the importance of mathematics. Perhaps Jason should have said:
We owe so much to your thoughts and insight, it’s a crying shame most people don’t value mathematics.
There are enough problems caused by a pride in how poor we are at mathematics and script writers don’t need to add to the perception that this is ok.
Wake up and smell the importance of mathematical literacy.
Rock is my life and this is my song
It’s a crying shame
That some of us have not survived
No use in asking how it happened
But very few are left alive
I had a new washing machine delivered this morning. The old one was making noises as though it was grinding cutlery everytime I used it. The new one is pretty quiet! The water draining away is louder than the machine on a spin cycle. Anyway, that’s not the point of this communication.
I asked one of the men installing the machine if all new washing machines only had cold water input. Yes, was the reply. Ok. I’m fine with that but he went on to explain why they don’t need hot water.
You know that jet engines spin around and they have hot air coming out of them, it’s just like that, the spinning makes the water warm. It’s just a shame that washing machines just don’t have after-burners.
Holy cow. I must have been wrong all these years to assume it was an electric heating element that warmed the water! Gosh. The fuel in jet engines must just be to make the turbines turn and then the spinning does the rest.
Now, a washing machine with an after-burner is something I would pay a lot of money for.
I don’t follow many people on Twitter. It’s a conscious decision that means I actually have the time to read tweets by my friends (see here). I have, however, recently added a couple of new people/things to follow.
@Scienceporn
@CombinedHistory
@MilitaryPorn
I find these generally fascinating and I feel that they actually add something to my life. I’m a complete science whore and so @Scienceporn is awesome. I am unsure about some of the sources and tweets, but the replies to @scienceporn normally ask for references and so it’s a self-sorting system, much like science.
@Combinedhistory is a really clever concept of matching famous pictures with modern backdrops and fusing the two together to give a brilliant time-displacement view of scenes.
@MilitaryPorn is awesome. I’ve always been a fan of military aircraft and in my teenage years I went to lots of airshows. Most of the aircraft that I find gorgeous aren’t really flying anymore and so this tweeter gives me a chance to drool over pictures of planes I’ve always enjoyed. Here’s a selection:
I first drafted this communication after a couple of long drives around the country. I travelled to the Lake District for a fleeting visit and then to Cornwall for dinner! Give I live in Kent this was quite a way to go for food but the company made it worth it.
One day, whilst driving, the weather had turned from particularly sunny to showers and full on rain. I was curious to see the number of drivers who didn’t think it necessary to turn on headlights while driving in reduced light conditions. “Are they really all that stupid?” I asked myself. Then, of course, you remember that half the population is below average intelligence.
There were grey cars I could barely see without lights on. It wasn’t that dark but the fine rain and spray severely restricted visibility. I thought many people were being irresponsible on the roads with their inability to turn the lights on.
One excuse might be that some of the cars had automatic headlights. It possibly wasn’t dark enough for the computer to turn the lights on but the spray and rain made it a necessity. This could explain why so many people didn’t turn on theirs. I have had cars that have automatic lights but I turn that function off. I am perfectly capable of deciding when to turn my lights on. It seems that these additions to cars are meant to make our lives easier but they just make us more stupid. Automatic choke, synchromesh gears, power steering, ABS all make driving easier. I won’t deny the safety benefits of some of them, but it wouldn’t hurt the general population to make them
THINK
once in a while. Stop living in your cocoon for now and think about your actions and how to make your life (and others) as safe as possible.
Another reason for disliking automatic headlights is that they come on when driving under a bridge. If you are behind someone it looks as though they are braking and it makes you more hesitant as a driver for a short while.
It seems that most modern uses for technology are great at making our lives simpler but they also stop us having to think and understand what is going on. This is a dangerous trend for a stupid world. As Carl Sagan said (the gist not a perfect quote):
We live in a world more and more reliant on technology but where the technology is understood by fewer and fewer.
I been to Suffolk on occasions, mostly to observe USA warplanes taking off. It’s not really been the sort of place I have visited deliberately! However, this changed when I went and stayed with some friends near Ipswich. I had a lovely time but was slightly horrified and curious when they mentioned a particular, occasional, pastime.
Poo Crime
Just suppose there is someone you don’t particularly like and they live near you. Then, you might indicate your displeasure at that person by defecating in their garden. You don’t want to get caught so you do this at night. I am vaguely reminded of a “Dave Bowman” plan to plant one on the desk of the Bolhp monster while at college. This is something I would have to deny any knowledge of whether there was such a plan or whether it was carried out!
Obviously, I’m a bit of a stickler for language and how to interpret it. I like my spoken words to mean exactly what I intend (obviously, no mean feat given the English language). I will also compose emails and edit them over a few hours so they mean exactly what I want them to mean. This is probably why I, obviously, struggle with SMS (text messages to the masses) and occasionally Twitter.
I agree that we use some fillers in our language.
er
um
like
well
literally [people using this should be literally shot]
obviously
My pet hates are any of these mentioned but particularly:
It was, like, well hot.
WTF does this mean? It was like it was hot? It was hot? It was really hot? My usual response would be “So was it warm then, if it was like hot?”
Obviously, I’m going to play some tennis today.
Unless you know me really well, it probably wasn’t obvious to you. Me saying “obviously” belittles any comment that you think would be appropriate or any questioning of my statement. This annoys me. I am trying to only say “obviously” when I then wouldn’t need to end the statement because whatever followed you would automatically know/understand.
Maybe I’m too much of a stickler for literal interpretation of language. Which would be odd as I am happy to accept that language can evolve and things change over time, not always following survival of the fittest though. Language evolution seems to follow the stupid uses of language rather than the correct ones. We are doomed [not literally, except for APG].
Saw Red2 this morning at Cineworld in Rochester. It killed a few hours after my run. It also was very nearly not Red2 that I watched. I sat through adverts and trailers only for the wrong film to start. We all left the screen and the management said they’d put on the correct film.
Did have to sit through more adverts and trailers though which was a bit shit.
The film itself is funny in a few places and full of crazy action, but overall enjoyable. It’s nice to see old stars doing the action thing. I particularly loved Helen Mirren shooting cops and general up-to-no-goods from a Lotus while it was spinning along the road. Also, the pick-up of Bruce Willis into an Aston (?) driven by Zeta-Jones was excellent and laughable. Great fun. The plot was pretty poor and very “early Bond” but then they made loads of money.
Went to see a few bands at The Ivy in Sheerness last night. I was most interested in the band called:
The Antithesis
I’ve seen this band a number of times and really enjoy their music. I thought they were good. Also saw Where’s Billy? who were ok. It was an enjoyable evening. Thanks Dave.
It was a hot day today. The car said 32C at one point! I decided to spend some time in the direct sunlight in the garden fitting a water butt. That was a bit stupid. Had to spend the next hour drying out the sweat from all my clothes. Mind you, the water butt looks good and we should have its first rain tomorrow.
Along with Andy, my sister and niece, I went to the Underworld in Camden to see some bands. This was an important gig as I was taking my niece to see some proper music for the first time [she confessed that she has seen Olly Murs but didn’t say it loud enough to cause threats of physical damage to us].
The line-up was:
Ingested
Senser
DJ Starscream
We got the train into St Pancras and then walked the twenty minutes to Camden High Street. After some food and a drink in the World’s End pub we entered the venue and I showed my guests around the delights of the basement. Ingested were on first. They had shouty vocals. They weren’t the worst example of this type of music I had seen but they weren’t that good either.
The main reason I had wanted to come along this evening was that Senser were playing. I have liked their stuff since I was, ok, let’s just say since about 1994 and I saw them once before in Southsea! I like the music and the sound that they have. I thought they were really good. They played two new songs, I think, and the rest I knew. Very good, very energetic. I’m glad my niece saw these as her first proper band. All good stuff.
DJ Starscream was on next. He is the DJ from Slipknot. We tried it. But it’s not our stuff. We left and went for coffee. That’s not down to his ability to play, I’m sure he’s very skilful at what he does, but it left me cold.
I’ve just passed 500 communications on this website. I have to admit most of them are shockingly boring but then it’s not about you it’s about me. This is my thing. I don’t really care what you think.
This gives me something to do, although I am amazingly aware that it is public and so won’t let out all my thoughts here. I have considered writing another website and really going for it but, you know, that’s just not cricket. I do have some ideas for a new domain but the content of the website is not enshrined yet. It was going to be a site of my album reviews but that didn’t seem worth it. I’ve put them on here. Perhaps I should make it a photolog website? Yes, I do know that there are sites that let you do that for free but, once again, I don’t care. This is for me.
About 30 years ago I can remember playing a game of “fire running”. Every now and then in the good old days parents would burn the garden waste on a big bonfire. These were wonderful times of cooking apples and potatoes (not together) in foil in the embers and generally doing boy stuff with flames.
The best thing we ever did was place a plank of wood on a big fire. The wood was probably 1″ by 4″ by 10′. I am aware that wood burns but that just adds to the fun.
Start about 4 metres away from the fire making sure that the flames are high and it is burning properly. Then RUN. Don’t lose your footing as you run up the plank and over the fire. Jump from the top of the fire and then land with style.
Sunday at Download 2013 and we drove in to Donington Park. I didn’t pay attention to where we parked the car, principally because Andy said he would remember where it was. We walked up to the natural arena and met with Andy’s olds. Today was going to be a monster day and so I was really looking forward to it. I bought a t-shirt for a friend and went to get one for me – whoops – they had sold out. Never mind, that’s what eBay is for.
One last beer at 10:30, just to keep the blood-alcohol levels from dropping too much. A pint of Trooper, of course.
First band – States of Panic. I can’t remember them.
Then we walked over to a small tent and watched a London based band called Mordecai. They were good enough for me to buy their album and actually listen to it. I would see them again, preferably in a small London Club.
Cancer Bats and Coal Chamber were on the main stage next and I don’t remember much about either of them. Cancer Bats did nothing for me but Coal Chamber were a bit better. I liked the singers’ tattooed face and the bass player.
Up next on the main stage were Five Finger Death Punch and I was blown away. I’d never heard any of their stuff before but thought it was brilliant. They had fun on stage and the lead singer was brilliant at controlling the crowd. Superb.
Amon Amarth were a joke. They had a Viking ship on the stage. No, I didn’t like them. Funny how within such a tightly confined definition of music there are still bands that do absolutely nothing for me. Perhaps my views change as I “mature”.
Stone Sour on the main stage were brilliant. The lead singer just smiled through it all. I expect bands to enjoy what they do and these guys were great. One guitarist was bald and dressed in a suit. The other guy had the best beard ever. All in all I had a great time.
Over to a tent and watched Newsted. Jason got a great round of applause and I really liked the music. I have pre-ordered the album because I want more. They finished with Whiplash and, oh my (to borrow from George Takei) it was a dream come true. They were most enjoyable. We stayed in this tent to listen to POD but any band that has a Christian story bothers me and they were rubbish.
After that we saw some of A Day to Remember but curiously I haven’t remembered. We also saw 30 Seconds from Mars who could improve by literally being 30 seconds from Mars so they are nowhere near this good planet of ours.
Last band of the shebang:
RAMMSTEIN
I love the music, I love the show, I love it all. I think I could quite happily see these guys every week for a year. The sound was massive, the show was pyrotechnical mania. AND they played Buch Dick. Look you need to see them on YouTube and you need to be converted. These guys make everyone else look like pussies. Absolutely brilliant and I can’t wait to see them again.
A Day To Remember
Amon Amarth
What Rain Does
Stone Sour
Mordecai
Newsted
Rammstein 1
Rammstein 2
Rammstein 3
Rammstein 4
Rammstein 5
Rammstein 6
The End
After the show we chatted to Andy’s olds and waited for the car park queue to die down a bit. When we left them it was already 12:30 and we headed off to find the car. We had lost it. We walked completely around one car park in the chuffing dark trying to find a dark blue car!! Eventually we re-traced our routes and found the car. Left or Right? There looked to be no queue to the left of the main exit and so I decided to turn that way. Bugger, just around the corner was a massive queue and no room to turn around. Eventually after rallying through some small villages we found the M1 and headed south.
Things I don’t really want to repeat:
Seeing the pre-morning glow of the sun coming up as I drive down the M1
Stopping for extreme caffeine input
Getting flashed by a speed camera
Watching the sun arise while drive along the M26
Getting in at 5 and then getting up at 7 to go to work!
This Download weekend was one of the best things to have happened to me this year and I had a great time.
