I think I’m managing quite well with the suitable distribution of my income. A while back I wrote that I had stopped spending money on music streaming services and if I want some songs then I will pay for them properly. We all know that Spotify pay very little out to the artist for each play and it’s only the mega-hits that actually make any money. I’d try and link that communication here but the way I write the names of these communications means I might have zero chance of finding it. Here goes! I found it! The point is for more of my money to go to the artist. The website Bandcamp seems the best way of doing that short of Patreon or Venmo [which I have never used!].
This morning I have updated the music list on the iPhone contents page. Not that it’s easy to find the new stuff, there’s an awful lot of stuff listed. But I’ve recently bought a few albums and so I thought it was time to update it. There’s a definite theme within that music list of heavy metal, thrash metal and then German rock along with EBM and aggrotech. If you search that list enough you might even find some songs that could be considered “embarrassing”. Have a look and let me know if you find one. Anything from Top Gun does not count, obvs.
I’ve been listening to the music projects of two main labels over the last few years. Those labels are Infacted Records and Out Of Line Music. My most recent purchases are:
Deathless – Amelia Arsenic
Requiem for the Hyperreal – Shiv-r
Kill God Ascend – Shiv-r
That Annihilated Place – Pete Crane
Traumatized – Lights Of Euphoria
Dark Passenger – Decoded Feedback
Domination – Agrezzior
Sittenverfall – Schallfaktor
Judas – Lord Of The Lost
There’s quite a bit of a mix there from electronic to bombastic over the top operatic rock but it’s all good. Well worth a listen. If you like that sort of thing. I will say that the bass line from “To Love Is To Destroy” by Amelia Arsenic is DIRTY.
When I eventually finish the album reviews the idea is to go back and review every album I’ve bought in the last eight years or so. I’ve tried to avoid writing about all the EBM and Aggrotech in the reviews and I will eventually get around to writing about them. Oh, I’ve had both vaccination injections and am looking forward to being considered fully vaccinated in two weeks.
I do know that it’s wrong to use your mobile phone while driving but I just had to in this case. Fortunately I was in a traffic queue and just after I spotted this advert there was serendipity. Given the hurry I was in and the distance of the bus from me I’m quite pleased with how the picture turned out.
Education, Kind Of
What surprised me about the advert was partly that Fashion History should have been something starting with a T to match the tarot part of that sentence and I think KAE missed the point of how those literary devices work. The main surprise in this advert was to see KAE advertising courses in Tarot. I don’t think they should.
Tarot is either the name for a pack of cards used in Europe for about 400 years or tarot refers to the practice of conning people with bullshit, from Wikipedia: “the late 18th century, some tarot decks began to be used for divination via tarot card reading and cartomancy leading to custom decks developed for such occult purposes.”. I’m guessing that this reference to Tarot on this advert isn’t just about the design of the cards but more likely to be about the spooky divination of said cards. Let’s see.
As I type this I’ve got another tab open [actually it’s a whole browser on my other screen] and I am going to look through the tarot information on the KAE website. The first thing I noticed in the search results is that there are two course and they don’t cost as much as I thought they would, but the socialist in me does think that if people want to further their education then it should be free of cost, however I do understand the modern world.
KAE Search Results
In a moment I am going to click on the more information hyperlinks and see where that takes me. Le Boutillier. Hmm. Le Boutillier. Very sensible choosing a name that sounds like it’s from New Orleans or of French descent. It gives you a certain credence in this realm of tarot. It could be that Le Boutillier is their birth name but I suspect not, I will try and find out.
Understanding the Tarot is an online course run out of the Tonbridge part of KAE. It’s a basic course for anyone “wishing to understand how Tarot reading can be commonly used to measure potential outcomes and evaluate influences surrounding a person, an event, or both.” So this is a course in nothing. There’s a little bit about understanding the 22 Major Arcana cards but the rest of it is absolute nothing. Oh well.
Creativity and Inspiration with Tarot is an online course [sensible in a pandemic] and it is basically learning how to make up shit in story form from the cards that you have. So I guess it’s about using your imagination. There isn’t anything about telling the future or past but just the story aspect of the cards. The tutor for this course is Martin Laya Rey. Almost definitely not their real name and made up to sound exotic. I’ll see what they say about themselves shortly.
Ally Le Boutillier. Her biography on KAE says “a Reiki Practitioner, Hypnotherapist, Bereavement Counsellor and Numerologist.” Of those things there only one is actually a real thing to do and even then, given her other practices I wonder if she can counsel people without resorting to after-life souls stuff. Now to google and see what happens. Oddly she does not have her own website, there’s some things on Linkedin and Facebook but I’m not trawling through those sites. It does appear that Le Boutillier is her last name, she mentions her late father and his name is the same. Perhaps I was harsh about that. She does have a YouTube channel and she has a playlist called Deepak Chopra. That is all you need to know. Deepak is a man who utters such vague rubbish that those who believe the supernatural love him.
Martin Laya Rey has two google results and that is the page at KAE and an advert tweet for a cook at a cafe in a cinema. This is super odd. Maybe I’m the odd older person as I have a number of google results for my name. It seems odd that no one else is called that also. So, I have no other information on this person. I could go to Facebook but I don’t like making myself busy on that site, they are immoral. In terms of names I have no idea from web results if it is their actual name so let’s go with a yes.
My conclusions. This stuff seems harmless enough. Tarot is a giggle if you take it as a bit of fun. I guess it’s like a Ouija game – which is a game and the science of it is well known – the problem is when people take these things seriously and start taking the advice of the cards. There is a false hope in the idea that there are super natural things and even more false hope that they are communicating to us through vague symbols and other people. The legitimacy provided to tarot by it being an official course on an adult education platform does not help and is one of the ways that practitioners are able to claim that they do a real thing. It’s a bit like the reiki poster up in the doctors surgery. Reiki is rubbish but gets condoned because it has a poster up in a place of goodness.
I’ve just finished watching Raised By Wolves, an HBO television series which I bought on Amazon because I didn’t want to download a dodgy version and I’ve kinda been paying for things properly recently. Why did I watch this? Well, I saw a clip of people exploding on Reddit and wondered where it came from. Turns out someone had placed a comment explaining that it was from this series which, it was mentioned, was also from Ridley Scott. That man is responsible for Alien and also Blade Runner, he has excellent form. This ten part television series follows the growth of a small number of children on a planet after Earth is destroyed. Eventually the religious zealots turn up and it all gets interesting – or as I found it more boring.
This series started well but I was mostly bored by the end. I watched it all, I paid for it after all but I found it all rather “meh”. The look of the series was great and the struggles faced by the characters seemed real enough. What I found terrible was the biology and general thoughts about faith and belief. Oh, and androids misbehaving. Oh, and white “blood” for androids. Oh, and lack of guilt for androids. We get it Ridley – you are obsessed with androids going bad and like to question faith along with thinking about the origin of human life. Give it a rest. Please.
In this series the religious are the less moral and the atheist androids – where can their moral compass come from? – are the good ones until they go and kill a load of people, virtually the last of humanity. An atheist person hiding in the cult goes mad and starts to hear things and thinks he’s the anointed one meanwhile his adopted son is making model buildings out of stones and gets elevated to prophet. Seems to me these people need some decent medication and learn to work together.
Then there’s the creatures. These are apparently devolving humans. What the fuck does that mean? It means nothing. It’s not what happens or what can happen. I found some of the writing very lazy and I know that they did it to increase the crazy and “what’s going on aspect” because they are making a TV series so you need things to stay strange. I think the bigger problem is they are writing themselves into a corner and won’t be able to explain any of it. Given the premise I think I could create a better story line and investigate the issues they want without the laziness.
If this show is meant to be a moral discussion about the “humanity” of androids then that is possible and can be done. Perhaps this show wants the morality of eating meat or of eating conscious creatures to be discussed? Then there’s the elements of crazy forcing religion and that could have been handled really well. But ultimately I think this show has missed the opportunity for a decent exploration of any one thing by making too many moralistic aspects to introduce. Androids and their role along with their moral code could have been amazing but it wasn’t.
The final episode included the birth and I’m really not sure what to think. I currently consider it an easy trick to shock people and make future series work. I almost enjoyed the idea that the newborn is similar to extinct creatures on the planet but at the same time it just annoyed me. I won’t be watching the second series because all the characters are just annoying. They come across as very single-dimensional and I don’t think the show’s creators are using the medium to their fullest.
I went to the cinema. Again. Not really a surprise I guess but given the recent Covid-times I think that maybe sitting in a room with other people isn’t a good idea. But then, I think that the cinema needs money to survive and so far there haven’t been more than 20 people in the films I’ve seen and the distancing is quite good. It’s nice to be back [I’m not counting this film].
I went to see Land and it was in screen 8 of the Cineworld cinema in Rochester. I do like screen 8, it was meant to be the “posh” one many years ago but now it’s just slightly more comfortable than all the others with its better chairs and fewer seats. I’m reasonably sure I’ve seen films in there just because it was in screen 8 and not for any other reason.
As I drove along the riverside towards the cinema I noted the state of the tide and it was low. I could see all of the mudbanks and only the central channel was buoyancy-providable. The weather was actually quite nice given the previous day where it rained the whole day and I was silly enough to go for a walk to see the Medway Megaliths, my shoes were soaked but the sun dried them nicely. After I’ve seen a film I rate it on IMDB and there’s a guide to the rating system within this communication. Normally I would then tweet the result from my phone but I removed Twitter a long time ago so the tweets have to wait for the next opportunity when I’m on my home PC.
So, I had to reread my IMDB communication to remind myself of the scoring system. Then I rated this as a 6. It was a perfectly fine film but not one I’d watch again. I booked whatever film I thought looked most interesting. I had slight pangs of concern when I entered the theatre as all the people in there were women and I ended up being the only man in the room. All the trailers were for what I would call “emotional” films – as stereotypical it is I like space films and then thrillers and action films I guess although most action films are stupid. These are not my usual style of film to watch but I was here now and so it was time to soak up what was on offer.
For me the star of the film was the Wyoming countryside. It looks just absolutely gorgeous. It made me think of doing the same and abandoning all of the trappings of modern life and to head off and lead what would feel like a simpler life. When I say get rid of modern life this woman still have tinned food, knives and a rifle. I wonder if everyone feels that they would like to survive by their “wits” rather than our current world system?
The film was broadly speaking enjoyable and told a nice story, one of emotional recovery and trying to learn to live again after tragedy. I know it was for the purposes of the film for the main character to survive after the midpoint of the film but I’m not sure she would. You end up wondering “what are the odds” but it is dealt with very well although all films suffer survivor bias.
The only part of this film that irritated me slightly was that it made shooting things look really simple and easy. I’m not talking about the pulling of the trigger or the moral problems of killing life but I am talking about how hard it is to hit a target with a rifle. Films make this look much simpler and easier than it really is. The funny thing is I actually know what I’m talking about here – I’m a weapons instructor, coach and a range officer – hilarious I know but I do have those qualifications and use them regularly. Me, having official qualifications in something extreme, I find it a curiosity.
I recently had a long session on Minecraft, I was stuck in the house and couldn’t get out as I was waiting for someone to come and fix my boiler. I didn’t really feel like getting into a TV show so I spent some time [too long really] putting an idea I had a while back into place. Here’s an overview of part of the latest world:
Latest World Overview
The mess top right next to the bay is the MAIN Base. I’m going to see if I can get some screen shots of it, or maybe give a walk around viewing video, I’ll see what I can manage. The big grey blob in the middle of the map is a gravel topped mountain and I’ve not been there to get the gravel yet but it will be useful at some point I hope. In the bottom left of the map you can see the nearest village to the base. I wanted to create a way of getting to and from the village without having to walk over land. I could have created a minecart track but in this world I chose to dig a canal.
Sea Level Details
This cross-sectional map shows everything at level 62 – sea level [currently]. If you look closely at the top you can see a thin blue line going horizontally. That is the canal I dug and added water to. You enter the canal from top right and move directly westwards and exit in the Great Lake. From there you follow the passages and mini-canal southwards to get to the village. There could be an issue that I can’t remember whether it was this village or not that had actual live villagers in it. I didn’t bother to check before I started this infrastructure project so it could have been for nothing!
Length Of Navigation Route
My map making software also has a measuring tool. You can see that the total canal length is about 0.85km. So that’s 850 blocks long. I’ll probably create a video soon of the base and where the canal goes but until then, I leave you in peace.
It’s hard to keep this site up to date with interesting things when there are very few interesting things that are happening. Normally these communications would be full of film reviews and photographs of curious things I see whenever I go somewhere new. But I haven’t been somewhere new in a long time. The cinemas are still closed and possibly won’t open again. Who knows what’s going to happen over the next year or so as the world learns to manage with a pandemic which will always be circulating. I hope that the variations will die down as the cases are reduced, then eventually humanity will have a chance to control the spread of the virus. I am happy that I might never again have to be in the situation where people think I’m weird for not wanting to shake hands with others.
Now, I don’t mean to imply that things aren’t busy. Work is super crazy at the moment while at the same time we are trying to improve the cadet experience within guidelines. Everyone is struggling with balancing responsibilities because of the short sightedness of the government in coming up with a plan for how education should work in these covid times. I mean, they’ve only had a year to get things sorted. You would have thought someone would be able to make decisions and get systems in place but it turns out that when you are just a selfish power crazy person you don’t care about those important things. I’m not sure why people seem surprised to know that Johnson might have lied or said terrible shit. He’s been doing that all his life. This country voted him in and this country deserves what it gets. I just feel really bad for all those who want a caring government.
I’ve been trying to play more computer games or at least try some new ones. I’ve not been getting very far with that though. I’m still playing Gran Turismo a lot and given that I’ve been playing it since 1997 I don’t think that is going to change much. I started playing GT on a PlayStation when I lived in Gillingham and the house own borrowed a PS from his brother and GT came with it. We found we would play and race each other and congratulate when the other managed a lovely drift. The I bought my own PS, which my mother thought was a waste of time, and I played GT and F1 ’97 quite a bit along with a few other games. When the PS2 came out I bought one. Upgraded GT and played on that system. Eventually I bought a network card for the PS2 and played, very briefly, online. I was joining in with some Navy Seal game online where all the players knew the maps and my time alive was very small. I didn’t really enjoy the experience. When the PS3 was released I upgraded and got GT. Somewhere around this time I also started to get steering wheels – not sure if it was PS2 or 3. Clearly, once GT is released on the PS5 I will be upgrading but I’m not going to bother trying to get a PS5 until that point. I’m very happy with my PS4.
I’ve been playing a bit of The Last Campfire by Hello Games. It’s a delightful little puzzle game with some problems that have made me walk away in embarrassment that I didn’t figure them out quickly. I’m hoping to finish the game soon although I have no idea how long it is supposed to take. It’s a lovely little story and looks wonderful.
In other news I think I would like it to be a little warmer than it is currently. I’m fed up feeling cold a lot of the time. Some of this is to do with my office at work having zero heating outlets and also my home heating is shitty because I’ve been waiting FOUR SHITTY MONTHS for British Gas to get their act together and come and fix it. I’ve been mostly annoyed by this while equally feeling as though I’ve been unable to do anything about it. At least I have been able to use the heating, it’s just that the boiler requires some TLC every now and then. I know that British Gas are going to tell me that they were hit by the third wave of Covid and that also their technicians went on strike. This is what happens in business when you under value your staff and put your motivation to shareholder profits before other things.
I am beginning to think that I have too many screens in one room in my house. I know that seems like it shouldn’t be possible but currently the dining room – so called because it has a table – there are four screens. Two 27″ computer monitors attached to the home PC. A 27″ monitor when I have to do work at the table and a 45″ screen on the wall which gets used as a TV when I’m on the rowing machine. Considering this room is really quite small I think it might be overkill, but they all have their uses and I’m not that inclined to remove one. I’ll just have to avoid people seeing the room unless they think I’m too much of a gamer. Which, I’d like to point out, I don’t think I am.
It’s in the name but there are problems with people not understanding these things and using the words incorrectly. It’s out job to point out where people go wrong. I don’t think it’s being pedantic, I think it’s making sure that language is used correctly so that meaning is clear. We have developed this vocal ability over the years and created rules so we can be specific in what we mean and the ideas we are trying to communicate. If you can’t be clear in your meaning then you need to change your words so that you are.
The Internet – the physical network of wires and optical fibres that the traffic runs through. Has been around since the early 60s when US Strategic Command wanted a computer network.
Internet Protocol – the rules that govern the movement of information around the internet.
www – world wide web – a mass of documents all linked together with “hyperlinks” creating a web of information. This has been around since the early 90s.
HTML – the language governing linking documents together on the internet, created in the early 90s.
And so onwards for many different terms that people use interchangeably when speaking about computer things but don’t really know what they are talking about. I can cope with it normally but the problem arises when there are specific issues with a piece of equipment when the difference between these terms becomes really important. Just saying it doesn’t work is not that helpful. It is the job of the support person to decode the words used by the layman and ask gentle probing questions to get to the root of the issue.
Visitors
The above is a map showing where people who read this shit come from. I do suspect that most hits are not people who actually read this though. I suspect many people accidentally find this site and then don’t care because who would care about the musings of a white male from the UK. This site operates by delivering HTML to a BROWSER via the INTERNET. The HTML is created using PHP and a SQL database. Your BROWSER decodes the HTML and creates the words and images on your screen. blah blah.
I actually drove out of the county of Kent for the first time since last August recently. I didn’t go far, only across the Thames to Essex but it felt like a whole new place. I think I’ve been separated from Essex for long enough now that I don’t really have any urges of “home” when I go there. I do look around the village and think it’s very pretty but all around it’s changed so much with building and “improvements” that it’s not the Essex of my childhood anymore and I don’t feel that romanticism. I did go for a walk with the family and we went to some lovely local reservoir lake things. It was pretty and the sun was shining.
My Homeland
As much as I’ve labelled that picture as my homeland curiously I didn’t even know these lakes existed for all the time I lived in the village. I had never explored them as a child. Doesn’t really matter. It just adds to the alienness of wandering around somewhere so familiar and yet so different.
As a slight contrast I did find this work of art on a walk around the lake area near me in Kent. I have to say it is stunning. I’m not entirely sure about any of it though. I’m a republican and couldn’t care less about what happens with the royal family. It does appear that this picture has likened Kate to the virgin mother of Jesus and quite literally sanctified her in image. It’s such a strange sight and one of conflicting impressions.
I’m Just Not Really Sure What
Does this image mean it was paid for by arch royalists? If so then I’m not sure why the person in the image isn’t part of that bloodline – I guess the child is [?] assuming it’s actually one of Kate and William’s children. I honestly don’t know. I also feel that the people who did this are particularly on the right of politics as that is what I mostly associate that particular colouring of cloth in the background. This image has me conflicted in many many ways.
Heading just a few miles from the graffiti we see other iconography in the local friars. Now, it turns out that the monastery near where I live isn’t a monastery it’s actually a friary. It also turns out there’s a difference. Let’s make this clear here. Monks are selfish twats who give their lives over to serving and praying to god. Friars are less selfish twats who give their lives over to serving god while at the same time being allowed out to do things in the community. So, friars are the better of the two wastes of time. I guess anything which has use to the community is better than a thing which does not.
Iconic Stuff
This image has another mother and child in a system which allowed rape, slavery and murder of the right people. Is Mary crying in this image? Perhaps she’s upset at the lack of consent for her pregnancy – which makes god a rapist. If you look at the bottom images on the front of the alter it looks like there is a snake climbing a crucifix which I suppose I understand and then there is also a badly drawn T-Rex with a halo! I know it’s a sheep but it’s much more fun to think of it as a terrible lizard. Damn, I wish I had looked more closely at this when I was there. Perhaps I’ll pop back for another look soon.
Yesterday I had the first part of the Oxford AstraZeneca vaccine against the SARS-Cov-2 virus. I was expecting to feel rough today but so far I do not. It’s been around twenty four hours and all good at the moment, perhaps later today will be rough as fuck. I’ve read and heard on podcasts about people’s reaction to the vaccine and so I’m curious to see how I react. The most important thing is to get vaccinated and help reduce my reaction to getting Covid.
There are some things we don’t yet know about any of the vaccines. What we do know is that they don’t stop you getting Covid-19 but they do minimise your reaction to it. It’s highly likely you won’t be hospitalised if you get the real virus. We don’t know if vaccinated and infected people are still contagious and we don’t know how long the vaccine lasts and we don’t know if it helps you recover from all the Covid variants. But we do know it stops you being hospitalised if you catch Covid. So, while we don’t have the data yet on various aspects of the vaccine we do know it lowers your chances of dying from the virus. Seems a good idea to get vaccinated because your chances of dying of something else while waiting to be vaccinated are higher than the chances of you dying from the adverse reactions to the vaccine.
In the mean time here’s a video taken from inside the Prius as I did a lap of the Brands Hatch GP circuit. It’s a four minute lap time, roughly, which is amusing as it should be closer to one minute forty had we been allowed to race. However, that’s not the point. I’m happy to leave my racing to playing Gran Turismo.
When I started writing album reviews the aim was to always have something to write about. I can’t always have a polemic ready to go and publish on this glorious site. I would like to be that person but I also feel that my writings or attempts to express my thoughts would be diluted if I wrote too much about society and politics etc. So I decided to write about music and rather than have me concentrate on every band in a particular order I chose to describe my relationship with each album I own in alphabetical order. This would mean that the artists are mixed up and it’s a pseudo random order for the reviews. I would normally be surprised by what I had to write about next – screw Led Zeppelin for naming their first four albums numerically but I don’t own number 3 so I guess I saved myself some work there.
When I started doing the reviews in 2013 I think I was using the order of albums on my phone and the iOS system doesn’t really include the “The” at the beginning of an album name. So the list is ordered by whatever the name of the album is subtract the “The” at the start. This makes sense and works well. At some point over the last nine years I started using the Sonos App to get the albums alphabetically. Now Sonos does not remove the “The” from the start of the album name and so somewhere my system of ordering the albums changed from one system to another.
So now I have to see what album is next on my list in the Sonos program and then check whether I have already reviewed that album and then write or not-write depending on what result I get when I search this site. See, it’s a little irritating but easy to solve and while I’m miffed at myself I’m not bothered particularly. Once this round of album reviews is over I’m going to start a new list covering the aggrotech and EBM stuff that I’ve bought since 2013 but I have searched this site and some of those have already been reviewed and some have not. So it’ll be a similar issue when that happens, if that happens. I’m not sure how many albums there are to go but I guess I’ll finish them at some point.
I’ve got a couple of things happening at the moment that are slightly frustrating for different reasons. Firstly I’m waiting for my gas boiler to be fixed and I’ve been waiting for about three months. This isn’t me waiting for bloke around the corner it’s me waiting for a technician from a service a pay a lot of money for. The organisation have been really bad at communication and, oh did I mention, I’ve been waiting three months to get my boiler fixed.
I’m also trying to prove my identity to a financial company and while it can be done online they are only accepting scans of specific documents from within the last three months. Now, I do understand why these rules are there and I’m happy to play along but the frustration is that none of the documents they want are ones that I have paper copies of. I don’t get paper statements and things sent to me. Why would I in this age? The one type of document that I can supply only comes to me once a year so I have to wait for that to come through the post box. Oh well. Not a huge amount I can do so probably best just to keep trundling on.
Recently I went somewhere for a thing! Given the last year of lockdown and nothing really happening this was a super treat. Motorsport Vision emailed earlier in the year offering the chance to drive the GP circuit at Brands Hatch and as I considered the price to be suitable I booked a place. There were rules to follow once on the circuit but it was nice to experience the route in the sun and in my Prius. There were quite a few “showy” cars in the queue for the sightseeing but I didn’t care. I enjoyed it even though our speed never really exceeded 50 mph.
Driving The GP Circuit
I will say that even at the pedestrian pace we were going the compression going down Paddock Hill was surprising, it also started earlier than I had expected but now that I’ve had time to reflect it makes sense that you feel negative g as you go over the top and then the onset of positive g is fast as you approach the inflexion.
This was great fun and something I’d love to do again. I should probably see what lap time I could get by driving on Gran Turismo. Unfortunately the current GT version doesn’t have a Prius so I’ll try and find something else with similar power and torque.
I’ve been removing social media apps from my phone as I’ve found that their form of distraction from the real world wasn’t enough of a distraction and a waste of my time. I still check-in now and then just to see what is happening but I try to do that on the PC and not waste my other time staring at my phone. This is really about me trying to not get too upset at all the shit that is going on in the world. I can only just about cope with my own life at the moment and so reading about all the crap that is going on wasn’t helping. I’ve had to change my approach and be a little more selfish about the things whirling around my head.
So, I removed Twitter and Reddit from my phone. I still subscribe to Private Eye but I find I don’t read much of it as it’s all about the corruption and bullshit in the world of politics and as much as PE does really important work I can’t have all that other stuff going around in my head. So, I am trying to read more books on my kindle which I love. I’m using the Kindle app on my phone to try and read some technically dense writing about the NASA F-16XL supersonic laminar flow boundary layer investigations. I’m trying to improve my own levels of knowledge and understanding while avoiding the shit-heap of politics.
I still care of course and so balancing it all is hard. I think it’s why I like Minecraft so much. It’s a world where I have control over most things except for bloody creepers and what my kids do in the world. I’m building a beach house at the moment and I’m looking forward to the results. So, instead of me having to think about all the issues going on in the world I do this by proxy. I give money [not that much but enough] to organisations I think are doing the right thing. I put my energies into work and getting money to live and then I give some of my time and money [mostly money] to people whose values agree with mine. So, here’s who I give money to:
British Humanist Society – because if I had to describe myself it would be as a humanist or as a pastor of the Church Of The Flying Spaghetti Monster.
National Secular Society – because I don’t believe any religion has the right to be a part or have influence over laws and government.
Green Party – I used to be a part of the Liberal Democratic Party who I joined just after the Brexit vote. But since then they elected a bigot as their leader and I no longer found my values aligning with theirs. The Green Party do seem to have all the right policies. I am concerned that many people my age still think of the Green Party as a bunch of unrealistic hippies but the party values align with mine more than any other party.
Puzzle In A Thunderstorm Productions – These guys take the piss out of religion and it is well deserved. I like their shows and so I donate money to them. Over the years they have been a source of comfort through some tough times and I align well with their values.
Extinction Rebellion – I honestly think these people are doing the right thing. The climate is going to be a disaster soon and so these people get my money because I’m not in a position to do much myself.
British Problems on Reddit has been one of my favourites over the last couple of years. Like minded people pointing out the problems about living in Britain and while it’s very much a list of first world problems it does make me smile. Recently I noticed a post [?] complaining about usage of the terms “myself” and “yourself”. The post seemed to think it was just estate agents who use the term incorrectly and I have pointed out that the educated professionals I work with [in a grammar school] mostly seem to use this incorrect construction. Things like:
“if you aren’t sure come and see Dave or myself“ “please email myself if you want more information”
It’s one of those little things that really annoys me. It sounds pretentious and is just plain wrong.
“if you aren’t sure come and see Dave or ME“ “please email ME if you want more information”
These are the grammatically correct ways of saying these sentences. Please help me change the world so that everyone speaks properly. Yes, I know the title of this communication is wrong, it’s called humour.
I’ve been trying to withdraw myself from the news more and more and yet I still feel drawn to it and am teetering on the edge of utter rage. My latest conclusion is that while we expect our governments to look after us and care for us all they really care about is doing just enough to keep everything ticking along. Maintaining the status quo is important and when we get annoyed by things they even feel the need to make protest virtually illegal.
How do you let those in charge know your feelings? You have to be allowed to protest. If things are important enough then the people should be able to let you know. The people should be allowed to protest and if you don’t want to listen then it is time you stopped governing. I feel that protest is important. It means that we are finally getting off our arses and going to do something about it. But then I remember that over one million people marched against the Iraq war and yet still a Labour Prime Minister entered that war.
I feel despair and as such I don’t think I can write about all my thoughts here. Not that this is really the forum for this. I think I need to see my friends and talk about my ideas. I have some close friends who help me back from the thoughts of extreme to a more middling place where I can cope.
In the mean time I have played Gran Turismo for the first time in a few weeks and actually qualified pole. I then went on to win the race but I did lose the lead on lap two for a short while which was worrying. It was a good fun race.
Quite a while ago I invested (?) in the ICO of a new cryptocurrency. At the time I used it as a way to learn about cryptos and how they worked. For the last four years my investment was worth one fifth of the value I had spent. But it wasn’t a huge amount and I knew it could head off with the fairies.
Over the last couple of weeks the Electroneum I own has been valued at about four times what I paid for it and now I’m interested in selling my coins. I have now started the process to do this although I am unsure how long it will take. There is quite a bit of anti-fraud and anti-money-laundering hoops to go through, which is correct. I just hope the value doesn’t start dipping.
I had a conversation at work this week where we discussed Cryptos and whether their value will hold in the long term. I am unconvinced. I think they will all tank at some point. I like the idea of a decentralised currency and the ease of transactions but for a currency to work it has to be easy to use and accessible to many. ETN is trying to do that and maybe the value will stabilise at some point in the future. I guess it will be worth whatever someone is willing to pay or offer as goods for it.
In 1996 I did something I had never thought I would do at any point before. I moved to live south of the river. I grew up in Essex and went I went to university I lived in Knightsbridge, Fulham, Earl’s Court and Ealing. None of those places were south of the river Thames and I rarely went there. I always considered the south to be full of poorly maintained roads and areas less nice than I was used to. When I eventually got a teaching job I was happy but also somewhat full of trepidation as I had a job in Kent and I was not going to travel across the Dartford Crossing every day. So, I moved to live in Gillingham. A Medway town. A working class town full of history and pride. I’m trying to think of a nice building in Gillingham and to be honest I’m struggling. The whole area of Medway had really struggled since the closing of the dockyard in the 80s.
I lived in Gillingham for three years before a short dalliance back in Essex when I taught at a school in Brentwood which has since closed. Then I came back to Kent. I’ve been here since living in Rainham, Maidstone and now the village of Eccles. I quite like it down here. I’m not sure I’ve ever felt that “home area” feeling you get when you are a kid and I also know that I don’t have that feeling when I return to the village in Essex where I grew up. I wonder if that ever returns. I think I still feel a little like an imposter. But then I’m not sure what feelings I am seeking.
Looking Back To The Homeland
How long do you have to be somewhere before you feel “at home”. I do love my little house and I really enjoy the scenery around my house but I don’t often feel “at home”. Maybe adult life is always about feeling transitory. I’ve been involved with the community so I don’t think it’s that. In the past I’ve been a trustee of a local charity and I’m currently involved with the cadets. Maybe we all feel a little lost sometimes?
The photograph I above is from Queenborough on the Isle Of Sheppey. There’s a small lump in the middle distance and that is Grain Tower Battery – a war defence platform. Then, behind that you can see the skyline of Southend. A famous coastal town in Essex. I’ve been there and I can sometimes see Southend when I go for a run. I look at it almost wistfully but also in the knowledge that I’ve only been there a few times as a person older than ten years old and have no anchorage there.
This whole lockdown thing has really messed up my internal calendar. There are times when I think it’s coming up to autumn and other times when it could be May? I have to keep looking at an electronic device to make sure I know what month it is. But then again, a bit like when we change the clocks, I’m never really sure I trust the programming on any devices until I can check with a third party official source [normally the radio].
I’ve had a mostly administration day. I’ve looked at updating computers and making sure things work properly along with setting up various cloud storage devices. It’s one of those jobs that needs doing every now and then. It’s almost fun. Also, for some reason a few of my albums within iTunes were labelled as compilations and that put them somewhere strange in the music app on my phone so I’ve been doing some admin making sure they are all correctly organised and labelled.
Friday night I didn’t fall asleep at 2000 so that was nice, being able to watch a television show all the way through!
Well, I’m sure other important stuff happened this week but I have no recollection.
I had a realisation a few weeks ago that I really missed wearing odd clothes and makeup. I was watching the series Umbrella Academy and the character Klaus was wearing a skirt and I thought – I want one, I want to be at a place where I can wear one. Smith and I have travelled to Germany every summer for the last few years and we’ve planned costumes and things long beforehand. There are small gigs we used to go to where people are more free to express their wants and delights, in terms of clothing and look, than they are in the dreary offices where they work. None of these things has happened for over a year now and I think a part of me is missing.
Back when I was young, and that’s quite a while ago now, there was the first ever Red Nose Day. I was in school and I want to say I was in something like the fourth or fifth year. I will check in a moment to see when it actually happened. Now I don’t recall why I decided this but I chose to wear eye shadow and paint my nails when I went to school. We must have had a non-uniform day. Why I chose to do the makeup thing I honestly have no idea. What I do remember is liking the feeling that I looked slightly different and I also liked the look of my painted nails, I think I felt more “me”. [Just looked up when the first comic relief was and it turns out to be 1988, so I was in the fifth year].
There are some later events which made me think about the whole makeup thing a little more. I dressed in drag at a show performed by cadets at RAF Coningsby in the summer of 1988 and I had some makeup on. I remember the eyeliner didn’t really wash off easily and I got some funny looks in the JRM the next morning. I can remember going out to pubs in Bishop’s Stortford in my late teens and early twenties when I was already wearing eyeliner [badly I would say because I am terrible at putting it on]. Most of my friends were just accepting and didn’t care. Which was nice. I enjoyed wearing this stuff and as much as I didn’t have these terms I do think I felt more me when doing that.
Skip forward a long way and the rediscovery of wearing makeup occurs with attendance at the M’era Luna festival and going to Club AC a couple of times. The smaller gigs that Smith and I have attended also help as many dress up and a lot of the time the gigs run into the Slimelight club. I went through a phase of wearing nail varnish each week and while I stopped that while my kids grow up and go through school it is something I think I will return to. I just like it. One of my favourite things is when Smith and I are in the Eurotunnel waiting to get to the continent and I put on my black nail varnish. It feels like coming home once that stuff is on. Yes, I know that psychologically it’s linked to being “out” or seeing bands or having a great weekend away at a festival but I think I genuinely do miss wearing it and would like to wear it all the time.
Fancy Dress For Fun But Wanting To do It All The Time
So, I love the look and feel of makeup, I really feel at home surrounded by freaks and geeks when at a gig or festival. Walking up the stairs at Electrowerkz and entering the main venue to the sights and sounds of a gig and people just being who they are and accepting it – this feels like home and there’s a calmness that descends on me, a feeling of belonging. We are all people of contrast and the flip side to me is that I also really enjoy being part of something super restrictive about clothing and rules – RAFAC. I can dress up in uniform and I do it well, I do it to look smart and I do it to show the dedication I have to the organisation. I can spend time away on RAF bases or spend time at the RAF Club and still feel at home. So, I suppose part of me is constantly rebelling and trying to be subversive while another part of me loves being in the establishment. Perhaps I secretly like the feeling of being in the establishment but also having that other rebellious part to me. I’m quite open about how I dress and my outfits. I think it takes a few people by surprise and some just write it off as “dress up” but I honestly feel as though it’s more than that. It’s a part of me.
I am fortunate to live in a time when most people don’t care about these things. I am lucky to be able to live in a society where you can dress like this and attend your events and most people aren’t that worried about it. There are social rules that are broadly tolerant. It must be very difficult to want to dress up or wear make up or do things that are considered subversive by the country’s leaders and you don’t have the freedom to be what you are. It is such a shame that some people will judge and be disapproving, unaccepting, scared or even violent towards those who are different. I imagine the newspapers and societal need for shaming others for their behaviour when I remember the sort of thing where “MP caught wearing women’s clothes” or kink shaming would regularly make the headlines and there would be scandal. I don’t think that society has moved on from that particularly. People’s lives are judged by a set of rules which don’t fit all. Imagine a cabinet member being discovered to live within a threesome. A lot of people would lose their shit. For me the question would be – are they all consenting and are they all happy? If that was the case then I care not. It feels that society expects its leaders and people of prominence to behave like the “perfect ideal”, which doesn’t exist, but we grow up hearing so much about mum+dad+family that a lot of people struggle to be accepting of anything else.
Just think about the hoo-hah that occurs when a Hollywood celeb announces that their sexuality is not hetero. We have lots of news articles and the world seems to be up in arms for a short while. Many people seem obsessed with who puts what body part into whom and where. I would hope that one day we reach the point where you don’t have to “come out” because no-one gives a shit. You be as you want to be and we don’t care. That is a place I would like to live.
Absolutely bloody shattered. That’s how I ended this week. Last night, Friday, I ate food and then tried to watch a film. Fell asleep at 2000 on the sofa and then went to bed at 2230 when I woke up. I’ve not even really had the hardest of jobs in the organisation. There are others who are running the testing centre and track and trace and all that and all I have to do is our core business of teaching. Knackering. But also nice to be able to see faces again. Kinda.
I bought a new cafetiere and it came with a coffee grinder so I’ve been grinding coffee beans and testing that type of coffee out. It’s fun, I guess, but not sure if it’s worth it. Especially as I bastardise my coffee with sugar and milk. I then decided to get a filter coffee machine instead of a new kettle. My kettle looks worn out but a bit of descaling has meant it still works fine so I can live with it for a while longer. The coffee machine has a timer and so I can set everything ready in the evening and come down to fresh coffee when I wake up every work day. I will say that having everything done when I walk through the kitchen is a sheer delight.
My home boiler, hot water and heating, has issues and I can’t let the heating work automatically. This has been like this for two months now. I pay money for a boiler fixing service and my initial appointment was to be about four weeks after I initially called them, and while that seemed a long time to me I had to remind myself this is Covid and my system still works to an extent. Then they cancelled that appointment because – reasons and pushed it back to mid March. Now the service company have cancelled that and pushed it to beginning of April. I will have been waiting approximately four months for something to be fixed with a house that is mostly cold. This isn’t the sort of service I pay for. Screw them.
I got a new mobile phone a while back and while it’s the same brand as I normally get it still feels new. Which is nice. Normally I get a new phone, you transfer all your data and you look at it and go “Oh, works the same then” which is exactly what you expect when devices run the same OS. This one feels and looks different somehow and that’s even after one month of owning it! Oh, I also upgraded my sim only contract and now I have 160GB of data a month. I use around 5GB. So, I’m going to have to see if I can max this out. Time to start downloading films and streaming lots of video. There was only one time in my past when I think I went over my data allowance and that was at Linton when I was trying to stream an F1 race.
I also had a bad headache this week and woke at 0200 in pain and not able to get back to sleep. I had to get up and take pills in the night, which I can’t remember ever having to do in the past. Fortunately the pain had gone by the morning and I was able to head in to work. But trying to sleep and having thoughts running through about how to organise work and cadets when you aren’t going to be there is not nice. I think I need to change one of my life rules. If I think I might take some tablets then I should take them there and then. Don’t wait to see if it gets better. Just get those drugs into my system. I have a similar successful rule about work. If I think I’m not sure I can make it to work because I feel ill then that is when you don’t go in to work. That particular rule doesn’t always work because there are other social pressures when working in my sector.
Minecraft Bedrock ran an update which also included a server update so it was a nice distraction to put the updated server on my PC. It’s not a hard job but there’s a list of things that need to be done correctly to make sure everything works properly. Which it does and so I got a nice sense of satisfaction from that. I did have a small panic when the ray tracing didn’t seem to work on the PC but it did after a short wait and so thankfully I don’t have to investigate why. I quite enjoy fixing PC things but sometimes the time involved can be quite high. Things are generally fixed either within fifteen minutes or three hours.
I hate selling stuff on eBay. I recently went through a cupboard and found some old tech items and thought I would either throw them away or sell them. So, I decided to sell them on eBay. I wasn’t sure how much I’d get but it seemed more responsible than just chucking them out. Once tech items sell I’m always worried they decided to stop working in transit and arrive broken. I would never knowingly sell something that doesn’t work [unless I labelled that clearly]. So, once things are posted I have a week of background stress until I get my positive feedback. One item I sold I accidentally labelled it as the wrong model and so that is coming back to me which is perfectly fair because that’s my mistake. I’m happy to correct that. The other item the buyer wanted to return because “it didn’t work”. Now, he had already messaged me asking for the software download and how to get the item working. This indicated to me that he didn’t understand the tech side of things. Then he wanted to return it saying it didn’t work. I messaged him asking if he had followed a detailed list of steps to get it working on his system and I haven’t heard back at all. I suspect he was hoping it was plug and play and I also suspect he was connecting it directly to his PC and not to his router. There are many things it could be and I’m not his personal tech support. So his request to return was denied.
Time to get out for a run and burn off the calories of my take-out last night.
I headed out in the glorious sun yesterday afternoon for a bike ride. My intention was to not climb any hills which limits the routes I can take given that the village is almost at river level – although I’m not at future risk of future flooding due to sea level rise unlike most of the new houses being built on flood plains in this country. I decided to investigate a riverside path which looked iffy. The were definitely marsh conditions but it is the other-side of the river to my normal running routes. I didn’t know how far I was going to go but I headed out to Brooklands Lake and found my way from there.
The footpath would have been better on foot. There were times when I had to get off the bike to avoid diving into the river and also a number of trees over which I had to decided either to climb over or go under. I felt like I was exploring and it was good fun. I may have ended up with bleeding legs and hands from the thorns but I didn’t care. Along the way I found three pillboxes built in the second world war much like the one along the Medway from last year.
Holborough Marshes South Pillbox
The first pillbox was a surprise to me as I’d never been that way before and now I’m tempted to chronicle all along the lower Medway – even though that’s been done on other pages. Holborough Marshes was a surprisingly nice place with the sounds of running water and a lovely calmness. Apart from the motorbike racing up and down behind the river defences. I’m never sure what I think about bikers off roading around the villages. Part of me gets annoyed as they shouldn’t be doing it, but the other side of me thinks that as long as they are out of people’s way then it’s up to them. I guess the overarching societal decision is they are wrong and should go to specific places to enjoy their sport, there are tracks around here where they could go. It’s like those wankers who dump rubbish in places around our gorgeous countryside, they don’t think the rules apply to them or they don’t want to pay for the proper disposal.
Brooklands Lake Pillbox
This one at Brooklands Lake was rather a surprise and I didn’t expect to find anymore pillboxes as I travelled further up the Medway towards Allington. I apologise that the photographs aren’t that great but I have two excuses. Firstly I’m using a new camera app and getting used to how it works and secondly, I had polarising sunglasses on [which I didn’t remove] and that messes with what I can see on the screen.
Larkfield Trading Estate Pillbox
This pillbox was in quite a nice position with some open ground towards the river. I remember thinking it would be a nice picnic spot. There were other spots which were quite nice but I saw the remains of around two tents and some air mattresses and the usual human detritus. This was a shame as it ruined the area. I do think sometimes that I should become a litter picker and collect this trash but time is the limiting factor there.
Overall this was a lovely cycling route, thorns excluded and somewhere I think I could run possibly one day if I can get my distances up to 18km or so. I’ve recently been running around 15km and found it quite good although my feet hurt. I’m going to try some new inserts in my trainers.
