Wonka

So, yesterday the Legend and I took a trip down to Ashford to watch the new Wonka film. Why Ashford? To experience the 4DX cinema there; moving seats and jets of air and water. I would normally use this section to explain what state the tide was in but as we didn’t drive near any tidal waters I can not. I guess I could look it up but what’s the point in that?

I rated this film on IMDb and I gave it six out of ten. For more information on the rating system please read this communication.

Wonka (2023) on IMDb

So, I enjoyed the film. I was a little put off at the beginning when there was singing and this turned out to be a musical but I coped quite well with that I think. The overall look and feel of the film was in keeping with previous versions and the story worked really well. The fact that this was written by part of the Ghosts team and it also had some amazing British actors in it meant that overall it was an excellent film.

As with previous 4DX experiences I think a good film doesn’t need the gimmick. It’s fun to experience now and then but I wouldn’t make it my usual cinema experience.

Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness

I saw this film about a week ago and I’ve only just got around to writing the review! I think I’ve been prompted into doing this because I’m off to see another film shortly. I went to see this film at the Ashford cinema because I saw the film on the 4DX screen there. It’s the nearest cinema of this type to me. 4DX means the seats move, there are sprays of water, snow falling, bubbles and wind. The film is in 3D as well to add to the effects. I had seen two other films in this way quite a while ago. I clearly rated this film on IMDB and there’s a communication which details how the rating system works.

I would normally write about the state of the tide in this aspect of the communication but there was no tidal water to see in Ashford so I shan’t be commenting.

Did I like this film? Not really. I watched it to get to the end but I wouldn’t want to see it again. This would normally make this a four out of ten but I quite enjoyed the effects of the 4DX. I think the best effect was when Strange got stabbed through his abdomen and something prodded me in the back and then was removed when the stabby item was removed from Strange. That was pretty cool. The rest of the film was pretty much shit.

The Last Duel

I went to the cinema to watch The Last Duel. It wasn’t on at a suitable time at my local cinema so I went to Ashford – even then I couldn’t book online and I had to just turn up and pay there because the Ashford cinema is in a different “booking category” to Rochester and the online website won’t let you pay the difference, you have to do it in person. So, I have no idea what the tide looked like as I drove to the cinema. I can tell you the M20 to junction 9 is as boring as ever and it feels like it takes ages but I think it’s only fifteen miles.

After I saw this film I rated it on the IMDB website. If, while watching a film, I’m starting to think what score I would give it, then the film isn’t holding my attention. It didn’t take long for me to wonder where on my scale of film scoring this film stood. I then shared this score in Twitter because it gives me something nice to embed right now:

This film was as boring as shit. I really didn’t enjoy it and I did consider leaving, but there was a person at the end of my row and I had driven more than normal to get here. Most of the characters were assholes and the only nice character was the lead female who, because of when the film is set, has all her rights fucked over.

So, this is a film in FOUR chapters. We get to see the same scenes over and over and I really didn’t like this aspect. No doubt someone will tell me how clever it was and how the mood really changed from one chapter to the next, but mostly, it was boring and while the differences were there they were over emphasised and could have been more subtle. Three times we got this whole story. Then the final chapter concerned the start of the film because, tension or something.

The first chapter seemed to be all castles and horses and battles and there were dates up on the screen but who is able to follow those and really piece together a time line? I don’t think a film should have dates, you should be able to make the film understandable without those things. Maybe just one at the beginning so we know what era of misogyny we are dealing with. Now, there might be a stroke of genius in the overall “feel” of each chapter but it wasn’t stark enough for me. The first chapter was horses and battles and boring as fuck. The second chapter was wine and fucking and the third was oppression of women. If the film was design with clear artistic differences between those three then they failed as I felt only the first chapter had a different taste.

I did wonder how many times can you have horses galloping up to castles and I got bored. Were we meant to recognise the different castles and the local politics of the time? I hated some aspects of this film. It’s also hard to recognise French named places when the cast constantly talk in American English but switch to French accents when pronouncing names, I could be being generous there, but I wasn’t “ready” for the French and it took me ages to finally get what they were saying.

How long would it take to bleed out from a femoral artery wound?? Not long and that’s what the final scene had for me. Do they not do first aid?

This film could have been so easily made to actually say something. It could have pushed the parallels between the legal system then and what happens now. It could have highlighted the plight of rape victims in modern times and it could have made so much more for women’s rights of the past and today, but it didn’t.

I just read something about Jean De Carrouges life and it turns out that he went to Scotland to garner support from the Scots to attack the North Of England. The film does not make this clear in the slightest and I left the film under the impression that he was fighting the Scots from the north of England. A small point, but actually quite a difference.

Anyway, all those irritations aside, the main character in this resided at Carrouges in France and this excited me as, when I finally understood the name, was somewhere I had been. I went on holiday near there in around August 2008 or so. I had a look around the chateaux in the village. The chateaux was built by Jean De Carrouges, the main chappy in this film. I don’t think I was aware of that side of the story when I visited it. Why would I be. It doesn’t seem that a duel from 700 years ago would interest the locals. I hope they get a reasonable source of income from the fame produced by this film.

Carrouges Chateaux
Carrouges Chateaux

There was an art exhibition on in the Chateaux while I visited and I remember liking it a lot. I can also remember that the day was chuffing hot.

Art in the Carrouges Chateaux
Art in the Carrouges Chateaux

This is Comms#1974 [+- 1] and so here are some things that happened in that year of the mostly common calendar used in business and governments around the world:

  • 174 die in a fire in Sao Paolo.
  • The F-16 Viper flies for first time.
  • India becomes the sixth nation to have and operate nuclear weapons.
  • The IRA bomb Westminster Hall.
  • Ceefax is started.
  • The Arecibo message is sent towards Messier 13.

Suicide Squad

I don’t often do late night trips to the cinema but Suicide Squad was a film I was interested in and there was only one showing at Ashford Cineworld last night. That said, by late I mean 21:20 hrs and not midnight or something, I am definitely not 18 anymore! As has become custom I have rated this film on IMDB using my wonderful rating system which is explained here. I also then shared this rating on twitter to my one point six two million followers.

This film was terrible. I did stay in the cinema until the end though. Now as a slight warning I should inform you that I don’t like the Batman films. I don’t really like Batman. The recent Superman films weren’t very good. When you look at the Marvel cannon there are only two or three good films in there. The problem is there are a lot of super fanatics of these comics and trying to create a film for them doesn’t work. The comic translations just seem to leave me cold.

In this particular film I thought Harley Quinn was tame, she could have been a lot more crazy. I didn’t like the Joker or Batman. I didn’t think any of there characters were any good. The fight scenes were boring, nothing special, all been seen before. I spent the first thirty minutes of this film hoping for it to be good but thinking constantly that it was shit.

There, this film was shit.

Addition: Something I thought while watching this film but forgot to write down is that great songs do not a great movie make. The soundtrack put this film to shame.

10 Cloverfield Lane

I went to see 10 Cloverfield Lane last night at the Cineworld cinema in Ashford. New cinema for me, about half an hour away, but will probably stick with Rochester in future. The screen auditorium was pretty small although busy for the showing. As usual I rated this film on IMDB but please see my ratings guide.

This film was quite good. Not sure I’d bother watching it again, hence the six. I actually jumped at the initial crash which was just embarrassing.

SPOILER ALERT –  do not read beyond.

Initially this seems to be a thriller about the main man potentially being wrong, the world hadn’t ended and he was just a fuck-head. The woman turning up halfway through disperses with the theme that it wasn’t the end of the world. After that point the film had to end somehow with this “end of world” theme.

It would have been nice for the film to play up the abduction more. I’m not sure it added enough “creep” to the main man, but then again, maybe it was just right. I think I would like to have known definitively.

Killing the young man was a cool point in the film. It showed the crazy just enough. And from there we jump to the last ten minutes. As far as I could see there was a lot of running and panic by the girl when there was no need to. I know it kept the cinematic theme but she wasn’t being threatened by anything at the time and so her panic was stupid. I liked the ending, it had to be either aliens or CHEMICAL WARFARE [cue Slayer song].

My main gripe with this film was that it would take more than an aerosol can to break a frozen brittle padlock. Just sayin’.