Yesterday I drove to end up on a vector almost directly north from where I had started to end up parked near the Medway river to watch a film. It was a choice of this, The Spy Who Dumped Me, or The Festival [not that fussed] or The Equalizer 2 [even less fussed], also, Mila Kunis is in The Spy . . . . Yesterday I utterly failed to observe the state of the tide sorry about that. As is custom I rated the film on IMDB and there’s a communication explaining the rating system.
Look, this film is not great. It’s not that clever and I still am not sure who was a good person or not or on the side of whatever side was meant to be good. I’m not entirely sure the film made sense, I don’t know why the object was left where it was etc.
But, let’s ignore all that. This was a reasonably amusing film with some almost laugh-out-loud moments. It also has Mila Kunis. I don’t think there needs to be anymore explanation.
This afternoon I traveled to the Cineworld cinema at Rochester to see The Meg. The tide was high and the Medway looked nice and pretty as I drove by various parts of it. I rated this film on IMDB and you should read about the scoring system in this communication. Here’s my tweet showing my score:
Well, what can I say about a film that is almost an exact remake of Jaws? It’s not exactly Jaws but it’s pretty close. Firstly, before I give spoilers about the film, I want to make a point about one of the adverts. It was for Facebook and it was trying to say that Facebook is sorry for the way they have allowed selling of data and fake news type things. They are trying to rebuild the trust in the company. Look, I don’t want to seem stupid, but Facebook makes its money from advertising and selling your data. If they full stopped your data being used then the company would have to find another income stream. Anyway, they say that they want Facebook to get back to doing what it was originally for. Keeping in touch with families and friends.
Except that’s not what Facebook was originally about. I mean it is for most users but Facebook started as an online way to rate the attractiveness of students at a university. Just saying.
So, the film? It was a pretty good fun film. There were, of course, many moments where I thought it was absolutely bollocks but those were easily ignored because the story was kinda OK.
So, the idea there is a thermal layer below which more species lurk is pretty fine, placing it so far down isn’t though. Ships and submersibles can’t get there. Also, there’s a massive issue with the nuclear submarine at the beginning being so far down, they can’t get there. Along with the idea that they were attacked above the thermal layer by a Megalodon which couldn’t get above the layer or the sub was below the layer but no-one at that point knew about the layer. That occurs in the first few minutes. But, let’s ignore that shall we?
When they track the Meg attacking boats they decide to go and investigate in their own boat. But they had a HELICOPTER on the research platform. Strange choice really.
Their ship can travel faster than a Meg through the water, this seems pretty poor. I love the fact that they had twenty minutes to get to a shallow area to trap the Meg and in those twenty minutes they managed to rig up many extra gadgets to try and kill the shark.
How come when they got to the shallow area it was really deep for the underwater shots?
How come you can see really far in water? Pretty sure you can’t.
Anyway, I still enjoyed it. Those you expect to die, do. Those you want to live, do. They all seem pretty happy at the end of the film even though there has been massive death and destruction. I guess we ignore all the pain.
Right at the end of the film they projected the French word for the end:
Fin
I laughed. I didn’t notice anyone else laughing. Oh well.
My last movie review was a break from tradition and I’m not sure whether to return to a particular format or not. You should probably see this communication on my rating process. I went to Rochester cinema to see Mission: Impossible – Fallout. Now it had been on my radar that this one was the best in the series or something like that. I don’t read proper movie reviews, unless I see a film that has me really confused, or where the score on IMDB was a lot different from the one I gave it. The metascore on IMDB for this Mission: Impossible is 86. That’s an overall review of 86% by critics. So, I have for you my score out of 10:
This film was utter shit. I got really bored. I would have left the cinema if it hadn’t been for two people in the row of seats blocking me in, so that places this film along with Van Helsing on my scale. I spent quite a lot of this film silently screaming:
I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON
I think there might be people who could explain to me what happened and who was dealing with whom and what the politics were and why they were in Kashmir. There were two bombs in the same village? Because there’s a glacier there? I don’t understand. This film was, and I say it again, utter shite.
There was an opportunity for it to be good. Just one though. SPOILER ALERT. Right at the end when the sun shines on Ethan’s face, if that had been the bombs I would have applauded. I would have stood up and cheered. But it wasn’t and so this film was bollocks.
A couple of things I noticed though. Firstly, the helicopter used above London had the registration G-DEUP which I thought was funny because it sounds like giddy-up. I sniggered and nodded at this.
Then there’s the case of the identical women. There was a woman trying to kill Ethan or the baddie, Ilsa Faust. I’m not sure. Then there was the only woman Ethan loved, Julia Meade-Hunt, his wife I think. To me these people looked the same. I couldn’t tell them apart. I was somewhat surprised when they both appeared in the same frame.
I’m not going to say much about the indestructibility of any of the characters except, THEY WOULD ALL BE DEAD after the first impact.
Last thing, microwave transmitters don’t work that way. The film just says microwaves because it sounds like science. They could have said things that really do work but scriptwriters don’t generally do science.
I should suspend my disbelief and that would be fine if the script or story was any good. I love a well made science fiction film. I can cope with FTL travel and time jumps and interplanetary travel. I can cope with aliens. I can even cope with mystical powers and magic. But the story still has to be good enough so that these things don’t really make it onto the radar. Pretty much every stunt in the MI film would have killed Ethan and so it didn’t do well with the story line part. I am still not really sure what happened or why.
I looked at a few of the IMDB reviews from critics to understand what they liked and the three I read all stated that this film was a great summer blockbuster. They did not say it was a good film, just that it was the best action movie for a summer release. Well, that explains a lot I think, it gives you the level of shit this film is.
Yesterday I sauntered over to the cinema. It is a large quiet room with air conditioning. It is a good place to visit during this heat. If only I could bunk off work to get there also! There are two films I’d be interested in, Skyscraper [which will be terrible] and Ocean’s 8 [which would be fun]. I noticed that many of the boats were up on mud flats and that means that the tide was quite low. When I went for a run 9 hours later the tide was still quite low so I must’ve missed high tide.
I rated this film on IMDB after watching it and I’m not sure about my rating this time. You should read this communication for an explanation of the grading system.
So, what about this film? It was good, but not good enough for a score of 8. I’m not sure what I thought. It left me very slightly cold. Perhaps that is more to do with my current mood and feeling with our politicians and global leaders who are arseholes. This film was a good Pixar movie. It had your classic baddie, although I’m not really sure what she was trying to achieve. I think I need to go and read some reviews by proper journalists so I can focus my thoughts.
Last night I went to see the latest Jurassic Park film. I travelled to the Cineworld Cinema in Rochester. The tide was low, I could see the whole mud back. The place looked quite picturesque in the dimming sun. As is my custom I rated this film on the IMDB site and you should read the rating system within this communcation.
Do you know what? I just tried to settle down and watch this film and enjoy it. Yes, it was terrible. The plot was shocking. The script was poor and everyone can outrun a volcano. They did get Jeff Goldbloom in for a couple of shots in the studio but they left the action to the younger actors. I just tried to enojy it as an action film and not be too picky.
There must be some form a rule that indicates that sequels are really bad, except for the Godfather and I haven’t seen those movies. This is film number 5 is the series and it was as you would expect for the fifth film in a series when there is only one plot.
Was it film four when they designed a new type of dinosaur? It wasn’t long before the capitialist pigs would take that dinosaur and then try to create an army with them. There was a lot wrong with this film. But I suspended an awful lot of disbelief and managed my best to enjoy the experience.
I remember seeing the first film in Harlow and it was an utter rush. Spielberg did an amazing job creating a world where dinosaurs exist. The original film made me so excited and scared I loved it. Unfortunately for kids these days they get to follow it up with tripe.
Oh, why were there kids under the age of 10 in the cinema when it’s a film that finished at 21:45?
Today I went to see Solo. A film from the Star Wars universe but nothing really to do with the Empire and the Star Wars films. It was set before Han meets Luke is Mos Eisley. I went to the Plaza cinema in Workington and it was a very pleasant experience. The cinema was a good multiplex with decent prices. I liked it. I now need to include some form of information about the tide and I am afraid I have no visual information about it. I can inform you of what it was like at a similar time the day before:
This was the view over the River Esk slightly further down south. Just north of the Eskmeal Ranges used by the MOD to test rockets and shit out to sea.
As is customary I rated the film on IMDB and you should know by now to see this communication with information about the rating system.
So, there we go! A resounding 8/10. That’s pretty good for me. I went to see the film without any real expectation and I just wanted to be entertained. I struggled at the beginning because it seemed to be Oliver Twist for the first fifteen minutes but things settled and I enjoyed the remainder of the space romp.
I’m not going to go into detail. I enjoyed the film and I liked the action sequences. Could it have been better? Yes, loads. But it was good enough. I think what makes it survive a roasting here is that it didn’t have anything to say about the Darth Vader issue. It’s not a prequel and it doesn’t mess with the original films. I enjoyed it.
After hearing from plenty of people that Infinity War was really good I thought I should go and see it. Even when I have said “I don’t like superhero movies anymore” they still seemed insistent that this film was worth it. So I went to Rochester to see Infinity War. The tide was waning but still quite high at 19:00 last night.
Rochester
Once I came out of the film I rated it on IMDB, as is my custom. I had to think a while because I was thinking about what single number could offer my sum total of thoughts and sometimes that’s a hard thing to do. There’s a communication somewhere about what these numbers mean.
There are two versions of this review. The first, tldr, is below:
Whatever.
The second is more subtle but will make a mild attempt to expand on my thoughts in the tldr version:
The first ten minutes had me confused that I was watching the wrong movie. It started with a fight off world straight away and I was a little lost. After that the pattern was
Have a scene with a few quips.
Have a big fight.
Repeat.
Thanos seems to have a rather Malthusian view of the universe and I have to say I agree with him. I would go further than halving the population though because EXPONENTIAL GROWTH. He sets out with a good plan.
The glove is just a glove.
About three of the male characters had beards and I COULDN’T tell them apart. I think that one is on me, I really struggle with faces sometimes.
Is one of the stones the All Spark from the Transformers movies? Have I spelt that correctly?
I don’t think nano-tech works the way the film shows it happening.
Were the dog things from Resident Evil??
Bashing people into buildings is really important.
Also, this film shows us that hitting people is important and fighting is the solution to everything.
I could have quite happily left this movie as I didn’t care about anything in it.
Yesterday evening I journeyed to watch Deadpool 2 at the Cineworld cinema in Rochester. The tide was very definitely low, I could see deep channels in the mud banks along the edge of the river and I was reasonably surprised at spotting them, they aren’t something I’d noticed so much before.
It is customary for me to rate films I see on IMDB and then tweet the result. You might want to read the comments on my rating system contained within this communication.
Look, I’m really off superhero movies. I just do’t find them interesting. You could say I’m continually searching for the ONE that breaks new ground. The one that merges three genres and everyone goes “holy shit! That is the film we were waiting for!”. I haven’t seen that film yet.
This Deadpool film was much like the first. It’s a superhero film with naughty words and some gore. It’s not clever and it doesn’t make it grown up [says the man who swears too much]. I’m not even sure the plot was up to much. There was some time travel aspects and trying to keep that in line is hard work and this film fails at that. Yes, I guess I laughed sometimes, but I think that’s only because of the swearing and sarcasm. This isn’t a good film in the genre of “film”, this is just the naughty boy in the corner.
At one point the word “cunt” was used in this film. I had thought at the beginning that I better hear that word at least once for this to be a decent film and they managed it. This usage of that word didn’t elevate the status to decent though. What surprised me was the gasps of surprise in the rows behind me when cunt was used. I don’t understand why people are shocked when they hear it. I guess the social-causing aspects of this film make it interesting. But not good.
Foremost, be warned I am struggling with this one. I have spent the last 18 hours wondering what rating to give it. I’m concerned I’m in a bad mood but don’t think so, I’m just puzzled by this film. But first, there are routines to get through.
I went, on a glorious sunny day, to sit in the dark at the Cineworld cinema in [not] Rochester. I now comment on the tide, as the river is tidal, at this point. The tide was in and I took a pretty picture to confirm that. If you look carefully you can see the historic Rochester castle and cathedral.
High Tide Rochester
I rated this film on IMDB and you should read this communication about the scoring system. This is where the controversy starts I think:
So, I should now go ahead and explain my rating and thoughts.
Bad Thing
This film started by playing “Jump” by Van Halen. This is a good song, it’s iconic, but I was instantly reminded that a good soundtrack does not make the film. Suicide Squad was a shit film but had a great soundtrack of classic 80s songs that everyone knows. So, let’s ignore the music.
Bad Thing
I don’t think the voice over was necessary. Films are made better without exposition. Build your explanations into the film, release the details slowly. Make the audience earn the story. Let’s ignore that.
Good/Bad Thing
There were so many 80s cultural references, along with a glaring one from 1991 and Terminator 2, that these were unsubtle. They were rammed into your retina. I guess I missed many as I’m not a massive 80s whore, but my mate Pom would get more. I think he’d like that part of the film. This film is like a greatest hits of popular culture.
An Aside
If pop-culture is the stuff that is popular does culture mean all that upper class shit that critics like? The stuff that isn’t popular? Should that be called culture?
Impressive Thing
The CGI was hugely impressive. We have been at the point of photo-realism for years now and there are many parts of films that are CGI but I don’t think people realise. It’s a cheap way to lend credibility to a film by adding small details. So, the virtual world looked and felt fantastic. Well done [although it’s not outside the realms of technology or new].
Annoying Thing
The avatars of the characters were remarkably like their IRL characters. Their facial features were quite Cameron’s Avatar like. This is probably to avoid the uncanny valley. The oriental characters were played in-game by oriental builds. The large kid chose to be an over-modded large character and the lead turned out to be white kid. They all played their own gender and they all kept their real life features. This was bollocks. It was Hollywood.
More Annoying Thing
All the clan in the game came from pretty much the same area of the USA?? What utter rubbish. The idea that online players in this game would be anywhere near each other was appalling.
While We Are At It
The girl didn’t think she was “pretty” in real life. She didn’t want to meet the lead character. Well, it turns out she IS pretty. All she has is a birth mark that covers here eye. IT’S NOT EVEN A BAD BIRTHMARK. What bollocks, this was very annoying.
Slums
The futuristic slum area was essentially just a trailer park made futuristic. Do you know what? I’m happy with that. I liked it.
VR
There has to be a point where developers decide whether to include force feedback into suits and movement or not. I suspect it will go ahead because: porn. So, the IRL people have walkways so that their movements are mimicked in the game. But, how does the flying and dancing work? What about INERTIA? Why are people in the streets playing the game? Are they walking form one place to another? Can they see the real world while they are in the game? I don’t understand.
Being in a computer game doesn’t give you superhuman reactions. You just can’t run, race, fight, fly, drive at those speeds and still react as a human. It might be that the apologetic is that the game avatars have extra modifications that allow them to react within the game to threats. This I guess is a good explanation but the speed of the gaming and fight scenes along with the driving section was implausible.
Beating The Game
When you are facing a bigger opponent in a game and you are going to lose all your coin why don’t you just quit and leave the game. That makes sense to me.
Story Arc [SPOILERS]
White american kid takes on a corporation with his friends. He gets the girl. Wins riches beyond his dreams and frees the world. Such bullshit.
It was nice to see Hannah John-Kamen again.
Now, I’ve been writing this stuff down I can see that I just wasn’t impressed. Yes, there are great songs and brilliant references to other films but once you remove that stuff the overall story and ideas are just pretty poor.
I took a trip to see the Isle Of Dogs recently and as is custom I will now comment on the level of the tide: It was out. The journey was long and winding, Bull Lane, Pilgrims Way, A229, M2, A2, Blackwall Tunnel Southern Approach, East India Dock Road, A1206 and then you are there. A rediscovered cool place of London. The bit that dangles like a testicle from the north shore of the river Thames.
I have spent a few lovely times here, I have also spent some shit times here. But that, I guess, is how life goes. It’s almost like I’m teasing you for future stories and communications, which I am, but I’m not sure I’ll ever get around to writing them.
I also went to see a film called the Isle Of Dogs, perhaps I should really have seen the film while on the Isle Of Dogs, I missed an opportunity there! I rated the film on the Internet Movie Database and you should probably look over the scoring system in this communication.
Having ranted and raged about the entitlement in the film Peter Rabbit you might be interested to know that I’m going to completely ignore the quantities of privilege in this film.
I went to the cinema. We know the drill. I write something about the tide without even knowing when that started, but knowing it was a coded reference to the time of day within a movie review because I went when I shouldn’t have. The tide was middling. For a while I was the only person in the cinema and that would have been nice for the whole film but people came in. I think my record for a film is me and one other person, two sad gits together, not that we were together but you understand.
My routine in the cinema is to normally stuff my face with either ice cream or hot dogs [don’t tell the vegetarian police] and then I read a book on my kindle-phone app while stuff non-feature-film occurs on screen. I don’t watch adverts and I watch each trailer once unless it’s an important film [Star Wars, Blade Runner] in which case I don’t watch. Some trailers I watch a little of before ignoring them because I know I won’t be going to see it [Mama Mia 2]. The book I am reading currently is
Dressing for Altitude, U.S. Aviation Pressure Suits-Wiley Post to Space Shuttle – By Dennis R. Jenkins
It’s a free e-book from Nasa and it is quite fascinating. It’s technical enough to challenge my understanding and written well enough to keep me interested. I have read a book on the X-15 program mostly while waiting for films to start and that one was brilliant. Quite technical writing has also helped when I’ve been broken and unable to think about things properly. Having decent technical challenging data and writing restores the balance of logic in my mind when it’s been screwed over. I do still intend to write about the two main times I’ve been quite mental but getting that stuff down in text is going to be hard.
So, the film, Tomb Raider. I rated it on IMDB and now is where I point you to the communication discussing the rating system and then I normally comment that the scoring system is broken and I may get around to addressing that at some point.
I enjoyed this film. I didn’t enjoy the two women behind me talking constantly through the film but I still enjoyed the film.
Let’s face facts: it’s a film based on a best selling game. Therefore we don’t expect it to be great. We expect it to be clichéd and full of stupid action. Guess what? It is. It was a perfect film covering a good game series. It was probably better than the Jolie version and that’s saying something as I can be a bit of a Jolie fan.
In all honesty, if you want a decent movie in this genre then you should watch Raiders Of The Lost Ark. It does all the things that this film does but far far better. But. Indiana Jones isn’t female.
A couple of minor points that struck me in this. When Lara is riding her bike around London, which is looking lovingly cosmopolitan and resplendent, her chain/gears creak. I’m not sure if this was designed so that we know she’s cycling, I mean she is peddling, but no decent biker would put up with that creaking. They would fix it.
The next point is people in these movies seem to get punctured in many un-sexy ways and yet they don’t bleed out or get infected. It’s almost like they are fixed within minutes and able to run around at 100%.
Finally, Hannah John-Kamen was in this movie for about 3 minutes and it was lovely to see her in something where she isn’t playing Dutch. I am currently watching Killjoys on Netflix and she stars in that show.
I went to watch Red Sparrow at the cinema in Rochester. I definitely did check the state of the tide and it was neither fully in nor fully out. I have no idea which way it was travelling. I rate the films I see at the cinema on IMDB and there’s a guide to the scoring system in this communication. With the current score I believe I am shifting the scores I give back to a proper system. I’ve been worried that my scores have been creeping.
So, clearly I didn’t like it. I am going to sneak over to some reputable websites and read a few reviews of this movie because I found it mostly poor. I’m probably going to end up with spoilers in the following text so you may want to not read on.
The premise that Russia is using sex and honey-traps to entice people into betraying their country isn’t new or exciting. In fact the whole “training” section of this movie had absolutely zero effect on the rest of the movie. You could remove that entire section and the movie would still make sense. This means it was pointless. It wasn’t even insightful. It encouraged spies to be rape and get raped. It was pretty shit. All it did was set up the idea that our heroine wouldn’t sleep with just anyone. Oh, that and allow a gratuitous nude shot of the lead.
I got about 75% through this movie and ended up confused about who was going where to do what and I stopped caring. It seemed remarkable that the Russian spy agency wasn’t watching their own spy as she travelled around screwing them over. She was a famous person being a spy. This is utter rubbish. We all know spies blend in. They don’t stand out.
Who can open a bank account in another person’s name with just their passport number? Really?
This movie contained violence, torture porn, blood, and overall was a bit shit. I don’t recommend it.
This weekend I took at trip to the local cinema [possibly not the closest, will check . . . . . yep, second closest, about two miles further than the Odeon in Maidstone] to see Coco. Here’s a picture so I don’t have to write about the state of the tide:
A Cold Medway
Today the weather is back to boring grey. I preferred the white and cold. At least now I can turn the heating off for a while!
I rated the film on the IMDB website and there’s a guide to the rating system within this communication.
I have to say I thought the film was far better than the trailers had made it out to be. I was concerned it was going to be a religious load of rubbish but it turns out to be a lovely touching film about death. Seriously, that’s what it is about. It tells the story of how Mexico copes with death. It allows the world to picture that death is coming for us all and we only live on in the memories of those we leave behind. Coco tells us how fleeting this life is and how ultimately useless our lives are if we can’t get to be with those we love.
Along with looking just lovely, it’s Pixar, this film made me laugh and smile and want to cry. It was very good.
Yesterday I went to the Cineworld cinema at Rochester to see Black Panther. I left work a little later than I had hoped and arrived at the cinema fifteen minutes after the show start, but I was still there easily in time for the start of the film. That did mean that I didn’t have too long to read my book, which is what I do while waiting for the adverts and trailers to pass. I am currently reading a NASA book about the development of pressure suits. It’s called Dressing For Altitude and is on this page. I will admit that I failed to notice the condition of the tide this trip.
For a long while now I have rated the films I see on the IMDB website and I did the same with this film. I didn’t rate it straight away as I wanted the film to settle in my head, so I scored it this morning. I believe I have to re-align my rating system as it is failing the purposes of use. I seem to give too many films a “6” and initially the system was designed to differentiate more than that. There’s an explanation of the scoring system in this communication.
I think it is quite clear to me now that I don’t really like Marvel movies. I go see them as they are a nice way to observe the passage of time but I don’t think they are very good. It is true they are sumptuous and sometimes well scripted but superhero movies leave me flat. I’m always willing to let movies have a get-out-of-reality free card for a couple of things as long as the rest of the universe it creates is consistent and this one managed that. But my overall thoughts are “meh”.
Some things about this film were important I guess in this canon. There were many strong black characters who were fighting against the injustice of treatment against black people around the world. There were many strong female characters who were intelligent and fought well. So, there are good aspects to this film. A part of me thinks that if we want suffrage and racial equality then a superhero film isn’t going to change society but maybe it’s a start. Maybe Hollywood has to start somewhere.
I’m not aware of the original stories and so the following comments may seem harsh and too reality based but they are valid.
Why didn’t the tribes all drink the special purple juice to all be super-powered and therefore subjugate the entire white world?
Why was it necessary to have black tribes fighting black tribes, showing a constant rift in the collective power of Wakanda. I wanted more. I wanted the tribes to unite and over-rule the whites.
Riches for countries come from trade and education [once we got past the enslaving black people and stealing their natural resources]. Not apparently so for Wakanda. They had a city and flying machines but no-one knows about them.
It was nice to actually see Andy Serkis.
What does vibranium do?
Does nobody else notice the blue glow on the inside of the lips?
This film reinforces that to be great you have to be physically strong and fight well. Such bullshit in this modern liberal world where we recognise talent and brains [that’s my own little bubble, there are many twats out there who still celebrate the ability to hit people].
There was a lot about this film that was inconsistent. But, it’s a comic conversion and I guess I’m thinking about it too much.
I journeyed to see The Shape Of The Water, and while I usually comment on the state of the tide during these reviews I am afraid I cannot this time. I went to see this film in Boston. That’s the Boston in Lincolnshire which gave its name to Boston, Ma. There is always tide but all I could see in Boston was canals. As is also customary on this site I rated the film on IMDB and there’s a communication here about the scoring system. I do still think it’s time to update the rating system but that’ll happen when I get around to it.
So, I should probably say what I thought about this film. I really enjoyed it. The word that kept running through my head as I watched it was “sumptuous”. Everything about this film looked lovely. The re-creation of the 50s worked well along with the well designed flats where the main characters live above a cinema, which seems to be an ideal place to live.
The merman was brilliant and the scene where we meet him and see his eyes and lids was lovely. The whole structure of the research facility was brilliant if rather cliche. It seemed very comic-book. The love story was fine as a love story. This filmed had me smiling throughout, it was nicely put together.
One thing really annoyed me and that was that for some reason the merman had to wait until the rains had come and filled the canal before being released to the sea. This is rather strange. I’m sure he could have been released straight into the river the other side of the dock gates. The whole idea of canals is that they generally are full all the time. That’s why we build them.
The cinema I went to was quite a change from the multi-plexes that exist in the south east. This cinema was in the centre of a town and looked as though it had a long history. The screen was quite small but I’m not one to be bothered by size. Perhaps a good thing was the GBP7.45 for a ticket.
As another member of the audience left he walked past me and declared:
“What a load of bollocks”
I do not share that sentiment, but masterpiece this was not.
This early evening I took a trip out to Rochester Cineworld, next to the river Medway. I don’t have to remember the state of the tide, I’m not even sure when this thing started, because I took a photo.
Medway State Of Tide
You can clearly see the mudflats and so the tide was not fully in or high or whatever the term is.
After watching a film I normally rate it on the IMDB website and you can read how those ratings work in this communication.
I guess I ought to tell you what I thought! I did give ti a 4/10 which I think means, I stayed just to see how it ended.
This film is, meant to be, a warning about the dangers of social media and the fake or edited lives that you see on them. They didn’t go with a subtle metaphor they just hit you in the face with it. Also, NO ONE GETS HURT IN THE END.
So, answer me this, Batman. Why are pupils in USA schools always in their mid-twenties? The whole school. There were no young kids. None. Just a school for backward twenty somethings who are trying to hold on to their youth for as long as they can while slowly accepting the fate of being grown up.
This film was just cliche bullshit. The jock were bullies. The fat kid was lonely. The swanky new blonde haired kid from California ended up being the most popular kid in town. There were no ugly people.
The bullying was horrific and this film pretty much normalises it along with telling kids that it’s your fault for getting bullied. Don’t tell anyone, don’t get back just sit there and take it. Accept the humiliation. FUCK this film.
This film normalises the pretty girls liking the jocks. FUCK this film.
This film normalises the gay kid being the drama and singing student. FUCK this film.
This film normalises shitty dads being a waste of space. FUCK this film.
This film normalises fighting to solve a problem. FUCK this film.
This film normalises humiliating your friends and closest female friend but it’s OK because after you’ve done that they will come back to you and you get the girl. FUCK this film.
This film normalises chasing and chasing means you get the girl. FUCK this film.
This film normalises that being really popular, a great singer and excellent hockey player will get you laid. The lead character ends up with all he wanted after being a real cock. This film overwrote the pain and suffering with a shitty happy ending. This film says: it’ll all be ok if you hassle people. FUCK this film.
This film was an atrocious piece of white ass trash cinema that normalises all the crappy behaviour that we don’t accept and shouldn’t accept. This film is a sad excuse for being every little small town American cliche.
Wow.
Didn’t think this review would go that way. I got all annoyed there. This film is why people have self esteem issues. This film reinforces all of those stupid high school memes about being popular and getting loved. IT ENDS HAPPILY. WITH ALL PEOPLE LIKING EACH OTHER. Fuck it.
Yesterday I went to the Rochester Cineworld cinema to watch The Post. Going to this cinema during popular times, Friday evenings and Saturdays, often means a struggle to get parked. There are plenty of spaces but I think some people can’t park straight or in the spaces and then it’s a ripple effect across the car park after that. It doesn’t help that the lines as guidance for parking are virtually indistinguishable from the rest of the surface. It’s best to arrive at the car park just as one film finishes then you get an outpouring of cars and hence spaces.
I went to watch The Post. After the film I rated this movie on IMDB and perhap, you could have a look at the scoring system communication. The application then tweets my result:
This film touches on so many issues that I hope to do it justice. Firstly, this film covers the release of secret documents from the DoD about the Vietnam war and the subsequent publication of them in newspapers followed by the government attempting to silence the newspapers. The newspapers were publishing the papers because they clearly showed that the government was lying to the public about many issues.
As the film is based around the Washington Post there is a small disgruntled group out there that think it trivialises the publication by the New York Times, but that is not the impression I got. It is clear in the film that The Times was publishing before the Post and that they had worked on it for much longer. This story is about power, women, suppression, and integrity.
The duty of the press to report the Truth outweighs their duty to friendships or the state. This film deals with the friendships of the owner of the Post and its editor. They know the main politicians within the plot and there’s the deliberation of them over-coming the friendships to print the story that needs to be in the public domain. This is a struggle but the message is clearly that politicians have always, and still do, cosy up to press barons to ensure a more biased hearing in the print. It happens today. The press seniors want to feel close to the powerful but they get drawn to the dark side.
There are a few scenes where we see Meryl Streep acting the part of a woman in business in the early 70s. She struggles against the object sexism in the boardroom. She is bullied by men who teat her as a lower form of life and force their own greedy ideas on to her. We learn that business is not what she wanted to do but it was forced upon her. Her performance was brilliant, I felt for this woman of the establishment, even though she was part of the establishment.
Watching the scenes where the paper is going to press and seeing the machines used to make newspapers was fascinating. I doubt very much it is done like that now and I’d be impressed to know where they found the machines for this film. I suspect some of the shots were CGI from previous “how it works” films. I love the complexity that humans can create to serve a good purpose.
This film was the story of an over-powered president of the USA bullying and shouting down the newspapers because he didn’t like the truth that they were printing. This was 1971. He hoped to shut down the press using the courts. It turns out that what the newspapers printed didn’t harm the soldiers fighting in Vietnam or damage the reputation of the USA anymore than trying to win that stupid war. The current situation is strange I think. The president in the White House is an over-powered racist with no political knowledge who is trying to shout down the truth the newspapers are trying to print because he wants to be loved and popular and “the best”. The methods have changed, he uses social media to get his ideas out there, but it is the same thing. Except, over the last year there have been SO MANY lies that I doubt the press can keep up and hold the executive in check. Many in the US population don’t care and aren’t bothered but reporting the truth is important. I hope the press continues to do so.
So, we have a film portraying a newspaper informing the public about the lying in the White House and exploring themes of sexism and oppression. Just like the current situation. It is a timely film for Hollywood to make and important to have its place in history. The entertainment world, which is largely not-republican, is fighting back. Notice who gets the awards and for what reason. Hollywood is using its position to push ideas through to the public, to help them see the chaos their country has become.
I gave this film a 10. Which is slightly surprising. I probably won’t watch this film again, but I am likely to follow it with All The President’s Men sometime soon. I gave this film a 10 because I am angry. I am angry at what I see this country, the UK becoming. I am angry at the utter incompetence of the political leaders in this land. The shit and shock of Brexit and the hatred that is being fuelled by social media and some elements of the press. I am angry at the self-destruction. Part of me, every now and then, stands back and says “go fuck yourself UK, you brought this on yourselves. I’ll keep my head down in my own little world and hope I can manage the next 30 years as this fucking stupid shit-show plays out”. I really wish I could pull away and be less caring about society and this country but it turns out I used to like this place. I used to enjoy the fact I could be me in a liberal, progressive country. I think I used to like this place. I liked the freedom to moan about the country without fear of reproach. I liked the freedom to not stand for the anthem. I look around and see a sad little island self-harming in the dark corner afraid to seek help or change its behaviour. My anger meant I want all people to see this film. To see how politicians use the press. To see the self-righteousness of those in power and how fragile they are. Look, I’m just angry at the “system”, the self-serving politicians and how they are destroying this country.
This review is terribly late! I’ve been a little busy trying to watch the National Football League and my team are out. I feel sad. Except that it all starts again in September. On Saturday I went to the Cineworld Cinema at Rochester. I honestly forgot to pay any attention to the state of the estuary as I approached so the tide status will have to be forgiven this time. I was running slightly late and so was more worried about parking than where the saline stuff was. It’s always so busy in the evening at the cinema and the only way to get a parking spot is to arrive just after a film has finished. Mind you, it would help if people could park properly and keep within the guidelines on the ground.
I went to see Darkest Hour and I rated the experience on IMDB following the scheme described in this communication, although I need to update the rules and regs. I then tweeted my rating.
Well, it is safe to say I really enjoyed this film. The acting seemed impressive and while I am unaware of the historicity of it all it was a very good show. Gary Oldman was recognisable at times but you just believed it was Churchill. The relationship with Clemmy was brilliant and showed a tenderness.
Of all of the film I am unsure if Churchill did ride the tube one stop to Westminster but it was good for the story anyway.
Last night I went to an “Unlimited Screening”. I’m not really sure what that means but I was glad of the opportunist to see this film. As I drove along the riverside road I could see birds standing in groups out on the mud flats. The tide was not in.
Mudflats
So, I went to see Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri. [pause while I look up US states because I only know those on the coast]. I rated this film on IMDB and you should read this communication about the scoring system [although I think it needs updating, the system is slowly failing].
This film shows what can be done in the cinema. We arrive part way through longer story arcs and leave before the finish. The characterisation and humanity in this film is created through dialogue and situations. This film is how it should be done. It shows just how simple and obvious many other films are. It shows how to do “people”.
The story is touching, sad and just works well. The acting is brilliant. The photography is perfect. It all works. This is a film people should see because it exposes the shitness of all the other stuff you watch.
The other day I took a trip to Rochester cinema along the esplanade. For some reason these communications now have references to the state of the tide as I visited. I’m not sure when this started but I do know it was used as a coded reference to the time of day I went. So, if you can find my first reference to the tide then you can work out what time I went to see that particular film. Instead of telling you I can show you what the tide was like:
Medway Tide
Normally all the green in the foreground is covered with water at high tide. Maybe next time I’ll get a shot of the mud flats?
Anyway, I went to see Paddington 2. I haven’t seen the first one, maybe I should watch that now? But I can say I enjoyed this film. Here’s my scoring tweet:
So, I really enjoyed this film. This and Jumanji have helped me get over the December slump and the mess that was Star Wars. Paddington 2 was a delightful little film full of the great and good of British film and television. It was, essentially, a very clever little film using all the techniques and plots from cinema over time. It was a detective story, a story about adoption and family, a story about identity and immigration, a prison break, a musical, a cop caper, and also a train race with a circus and treasure.
The humour in this film was carefully used and suitable for all ages. Overall this was a great little film and deserves to do well.
