review – Fooyah – Ian Parish

August 21 2024

Borderlands

I went to see this film, Borderlands, at the Vue cinema in Thanet. I have no idea of the tide even though I was surrounded on three sides by water but this was an early evening showing of the film. I knew it had been panned in reviews but the trailer still made me want to see it.

It’s rather tricky to embed an IMDb score these days since I left Twitter so I will just tell you that I rated this film a 6/10. There’s a whole communication where I explain the scoring system.

I quite enjoyed the film. I liked the look of it. The story could have been better within the film, the overall plot was good it was just poorly executed. I would not watch it again but I was happy to have seen the film.

August 4 2024

Twisters

Yesterday I went to the cinema to see Twisters. I went to my “usual”, Rochester Cineworld, even though it’s in Strood and over the river from Rochester. After the film I rated it on IMBD using my rating system which you should read.

Look, I guess I’m meant to write what I thought about the film. It was alright. I guess it did what it said on the tin. Did I spend most the movie worrying about the relationship between a woman who looks 18 and a man who looks 40? Yes I did.

May 31 2024

Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes

I went to see a film at the Cineworld cinema in Rochester yesterday. As we drove alongside the river I noticed that the tide was very low. I really should, at some point, learn about spring and neap tides, or at least the timing of them. I understand why they occur I’ve just not investigated when they occur. After the film I rated this on IMDB. You should see the ratings system on within this communication. I can’t get the code to share my rating because it used to be on Twitter and I left that hellhole many years ago. So, below is the average user rating from IMDB. I rated this film 6/10.

I didn’t hate this film. I didn’t really love it either. It kept my interest for its entire 135 minutes runtime. I did find myself constantly thinking why apes were the main characters and whether this film would be any different had all the cast been “human”. If it was set as ginger haired people against the rest of the world would it have made a difference? Is it ok to watch this as the apes being lead characters makes it ok rather than problematic. I do get that the whole premise is apes rule the world. That makes sense. But this was just a film with characters and their development. Maybe people wouldn’t see it if this was a human based story.

I quite liked it I guess. I am still thinking about it and I guess that makes it a good thing. However, I am thinking more about an episode of Dr Who, 73 yards, and trying to get my head around that more than I am this film. Like, why was the name of that episode in imperial units? Couldn’t they have made it 73 metres. There are bigger issues with that episode and so I will have a look online to see if there are answers.

March 19 2024

Dune: Part Two

I went to the Cineworld cinema at Rochester to watch this film. It was a wet, murky, dank day. The tide was high with ripples tickling the wharf, the river looked imposing. After watching this film I rated it on IMDB and in the past I would have tweeted my result, but I don’t to Twitter anymore so I’ll just have to write the result here, and it’s a shocker, I gave this film 4/10.

I think I probably need to explain my rating, especially as I rated part one very highly. This film looks absolutely amazing. The cinematography is gorgeous and I reckon you can take any part of this film, put it in a frame on your wall and be proud. The film looks serious and sumptuous. The sound is excellent, I would have liked more bass-vocalisation stuff like the sentence at the very opening of the film, but it was so good I considered buying the soundtrack.

I think my problem is the story. And possibly Chalamet being not a great actor. And possibly an inability to tell two of the actors apart. And possibly the sexism, I don’t know. Maybe this should be rephrased to say that the problem is the story. I don’t think it’s my problem. Let’s start with the easy point.

We get introduced to the Emperor’s daughter, she may have been in the first film, I’m not sure. This lady is being manipulated by the Bene Gesserit to do their bidding and to work towards the “grand plan”. Shortly after her introduction we see a lady with very similar features discuss with the Bene Gesserit about how she seduced the Harkonnen nephew and that a daughter is assured. For most of this film I thought the pregnant woman was the emporer’s daughter and I found it quite confusing. From looking at IMDB there were two actresses playing different people.

There will be people saying this story has strong female characters but to me they were all witches whispering in the background to get the future they want. The men had all the power. Men are celebrated. Women work in the background and do their things sneakily, not out in the open and by fighting. This isn’t a positive look for the women of this film, it conforms to stereotypes.

The lessons from this film are that to maintain power and have freedom you have to be a man who fulfils prophecy and marries for political reasons rather than love. Oh, and you have to be as macho as fuck and kill your opponents in hand-to-hand combat. I hated the aspects of this film that glorified the feudal systems in society. My problem is that we still live in a feudal society where the rich and powerful maintain that money and power by giving the masses “democracy”. Yes, we vote. But money speaks and until we have a society where everyone has the same chances from birth and we actually care for each other then I will find these stories of power ridiculous and enraging.

Prophecy is a poor writing technique. It means that you can only succeed in life if everything is pre-destined. This is how the powerful like us to believe the world works. There is no caring about people in this type of society. There is no “working to be successful”, there is only pre-destiny. I hate this type of writing. I hate this type of story. I understand why people do it, but it’s bollocks. Don’t have your main character being born under the fifth moon of the year, have them actually work for it, have them call out the belief bollocks and have them care about people. In this film we see Paul turn from being a rich brat into a rich brat with an army of religious fanatics (mirroring Bin-Laden?). He is still a privileged twat who forgoes love for power and macho-kudos.

This film, nay story, envelopes everything that is wrong with current society and our mostly European views of history. Kings, Dukes, powerful Houses. Deference through birth right. Power through duels. Mating for politics. Using the poor as your army through religion. All of these things are bollocks. It left me cold. It left me wanting to tear down the fabric of our society and show people how they flock around their leaders as if we owe them something.

I have found a review of this film that resonates with me and I have ended up with the review in Private Eye. Issue 1619. Find it, read it. It makes sense.

February 15 2024February 15 2024

Argylle

I went to the cinema to watch the film Argylle. There wasn’t much else on and although I wasn’t that bothered about seeing it, the film was the best choice possible. The Cineworld cinema at Rochester is alongside the river Medway and this part of that river is tidal. For a reason lost to time this is important as I now mention that the tide was low when we arrived at the cinema. I could see all of the mud banks at the side of the river. It was a lot higher when we left and travelled home.

After watching the film I rated it on IMDB and there’s a system for the ratings, you should read that here. I used to then tweet the result when I was on Twitter but I left that platform when Musk took over. It had already descended into a whirlpool of the worst of mankind and I’m glad I left because there’s only so much hate I can tolerate. I rated this particular film 4/10. It was a borderline 6 but it didn’t hold my attention enough and I only thought the film was worth watching for one particular scene.

This film was just about ok to watch. There were many plot “twists” along with many time when I wasn’t really following what was happening or who to trust. This was a Hollywood film and so it all ends up very happy. I’m not sure if I’d recommend this to other people, maybe only if they have a little time to waste and don’t mind a silly film.

My one recommendation is that everyone watch the scene where the two lead characters shoot their way out of the evil lair. The use of smoke in this scene was inspired and it looked amazing. It’s well worth watching that scene alone, but you don’t need the rest of the film that surrounds it.

December 29 2023

Wonka

So, yesterday the Legend and I took a trip down to Ashford to watch the new Wonka film. Why Ashford? To experience the 4DX cinema there; moving seats and jets of air and water. I would normally use this section to explain what state the tide was in but as we didn’t drive near any tidal waters I can not. I guess I could look it up but what’s the point in that?

I rated this film on IMDb and I gave it six out of ten. For more information on the rating system please read this communication.

So, I enjoyed the film. I was a little put off at the beginning when there was singing and this turned out to be a musical but I coped quite well with that I think. The overall look and feel of the film was in keeping with previous versions and the story worked really well. The fact that this was written by part of the Ghosts team and it also had some amazing British actors in it meant that overall it was an excellent film.

As with previous 4DX experiences I think a good film doesn’t need the gimmick. It’s fun to experience now and then but I wouldn’t make it my usual cinema experience.

December 21 2023

Godzilla Minus One

Well, this has been a while. I can’t even remember the last film I saw at the cinema so this review will probably not follow the standard procedure. I can tell you that I observed the tide on the way to the cinema and the tide was low. I could see all the mud banks along the Medway. As is customary I scored this film on IMDB and because I have deleted my twitter account I can no longer place those shared scores on this as an embedded picture. So, I rated this film 8/10 and you should read the scoring system here. I am able to share the average review score:

So, now to the review. I find it curious that Cineworld emailed me to let me know this film was subtitled. When I checked with them before they said it stops people moaning at them once they realise they have to read actual words. There was a small child in the cinema and I don’t think they could read well and they got bored and made some noises throughout the film, but then that’s not really their fault, the parents should have been more thoughtful about their child’s experience.

I really enjoyed this film. I really liked the placement in time and place. End of the war Japan, which is when Godzilla first appears. The politics was very interesting and I think it’s interesting to see the burnt out results of Tokyo following the bombing by the USA. The overall story was fantastic, if a little sentimental, but it showed the social conventions and character development over time. The human story was, as ever, really important to the story and the monster is almost a by-product.

The fight scenes were great and I really enjoyed every aspect of this film. I will watch it again, but I’m not sure I’d pay money to do so, hence this film scores an 8. This is a good film.

October 7 2023

Combichrist – The Garage

Smith and I went to see perennial favourites Combichrist play at The Garage in Highbury last night. I’ve seen this band loads and really enjoy their gigs. The last one was in the Assembly Rooms in Islington and I wasn’t in the right place to enjoy the gig [and there was an annoying person in the pit]. It does feel like I see Combi about once a year which is nice. I drove and parked on someone’s drive near the venue while Smith got the trains [there’s an overtime strike on at the moment. I believe that if your system requires people to work beyond their standard contract hours to be efficient then your system has a problem]. After applying makeup we had a drink in a pub and then went to the venue.

The first band/artist on was Janosch Moldau. They were a singer/songwriter who played guitar while singing along to electronic music. It was ok as a starting act but I don’t really feel the need to see them again.

The next band were Megaherz. This is a German band who I’ve seen a few times at M’era Luna in the past. In this August I saw their entire set and my comments were:

Megaherz – main stage – good German rock. Enjoyed it. Proper rain shower. Heavy rain.
Parish – this website

Their gig at The Garage was good fun. They put on the best show they could on the tiny stage. Having seen them play to 20,000 on a massive stage made the small stage seem really incongruous. They wore Kiss type make-up which meant they had black crosses of various types on their faces and white all around that. I’d made myself up with a “joker” type smile but in black.

The headliners were amazing. I stood a couple of rows back in the middle at the front. I knew that at some point there would be a pit and I wanted to be on the edge of it. I wasn’t in the mood for full pitness but the odd bounce here and there I knew would be fun. Combichrist played well and they sang a number of crowd pleasers and I think there were two new songs, at least I didn’t recognise them. I’m still not sure about the whole move into a metal sound but it works and adds a little to some of the songs. Their Old School gig was the best I’ve been to.

According to a website somewhere this was their setlist:

Blut Royale
Maggots at the Party
Modern Demon
Scarred
Get Your Body Beat
Can’t Control
Denial
Compliance
Heads Off
Fuck That Shit
Hate Like Me
Not My Enemy
Never Surrender
Encore – My Life My Rules

So, I had good fun and enjoyed the music. Somehow, a few days after now, I think I preferred the Megaherz set but that may be because I’ve seen Combichrist so many times. I think it’s nine times now. To give you some context there are bands I’ve seen once and am not that fussed about seeing again because, I’ve seen them, they don’t offer anything new.

Because I’ve seen Aesthetic Perfection a lot and also I’ve seen Combichrist a lot it turns out that members of those bands I have seen more than any other. Especially when the drummer from Combi moves to AP and the keyboardist for AP moves to Combi. I don’t know who I’ve seen most and to figure it out would require some hardcore research so I won’t really bother. I nice part of the gig was Elliot Berlin [formerly of AP] being carried by the audience to the bar at the back of the venue.

May 30 2023May 26 2023

Zombie Live – Rob Zombie

I’ve seen Rob Zombie live. At M’era Luna one year. It was a really good show. I couldn’t tell you if this album is a good one but I expect it is. You would only really publish a live album if you thought it was worth it and well produced. Sometimes I think there is too much Zombie on my phone.

The more important fact about this album is that it is the last in the current round of album reviews. I started this just over ten years ago on 28 April 2013 with a communication about AC/DC’s Live At Donington Album. Zombie Live is the last. Ten years and the idea was that writing about albums would give me something to write even when I didn’t have anything going on or thoughts I wanted to get out there. In those ten years I’ve been through a lot. Ten years is a long time really. It’s also roughly the length of time that my music taste has diverted off into electro-industrial, aggrotech and EBM. So, guess what? I’ve bought new albums!

There will be a second round of album reviews, this time covering albums by bands I’ve discovered in the last ten years. Some albums have already been reviewed and so that causes a mild problem as I will have to check this site before writing the next review. I might try and indicate where the review did happen in the before-times. So, the next round of album reviews will cover bands like the following:

Aesthetic Perfect
Combichrist
Hocico
:SITD:
Wumpscut

I might manage to get this round of reviews done before the ten years is up. It depends on when I get time to edit this thing. I’ve been distracting myself with Fortnite, flight sims and cadet stuff.

May 29 2023June 3 2023

You’ve Come A Long Way, Baby – Fatboy Slim

You know what? I like this album. I know it’s not my normal level of stuff but the way it’s mixed and the hooks and beats are impressive. Teenage me would have hated this as it’s just taking other people’s work and making it your own but that feels like cheating. Older me appreciates that if it emotionally affects you then it’s probably a good piece of music. I guess it could make you happy or even sad, both of those outcomes would still make it an impressive piece of music.

Right here, right now
The Rockafeller Skank
In Heaven
Praise you

These are the songs that stand out when looking through the track listing. It doesn’t mean that these are the only ones I like. Just that these are the ones I know and could probably name if I had them playing. I suppose a good video – Praise You – helps a song too!

May 28 2023May 26 2023

Youthanasia – Megadeth

Youthanasia is not on my phone. This album list is made from a list on my network drive provided by my Sonos system. There are two areas of music on my NAS drive. One area is my iTunes library which is synchronised with my phone and the other area is music I could possibly listen to when I’m at home but don’t want on my phone. I suppose I should probably update my Sonos listing a little as I’ve not done a hardware update communication for a while. Things have slowly changed since the last comm. The fact that this album does not appear on my phone gives you all the information to understand what I think of it.

May 27 2023June 3 2023

Zeit – Rammstein

This is the latest – at time of writing – offering by Rammstein. It’s a very good, well crafted album. The problem is I don’t think I’ve listened to it enough to know all the songs. Here’s the thing with Rammstein. You know what you are getting and you know it will be excellent. There will be heavy riffage and amazing vocals with little bits of genius keyboard. They make great music. So, even without actually knowing all the details of this album I’m going to say it’s brilliant. Because it will be.

May 26 2023

You Goddamned Son Of A Bitch (Live) – Revolting Cocks

This band are part of the godfathers of industrial. Beers, Steers and Queers was the first RevCo song that I heard and got me into them. I probably bought this album to see what their other stuff sounded like. It’s great. I saw this band live at Infest Festival and they were pretty good there too.

This album has songs such as; We Shall Cleanse The World, 38, Attack Ships On Fire, Union Carbide, and No Devotion. All of these are great and I highly recommend all the Revolting Cocks back catalogue to you.

May 16 2023

Worship Music – Anthrax

This is quite a good album but I couldn’t tell you anything more than that. I bought this after meeting someone at a Testament gig and they mentioned it was a worthwhile purchase. I have played this a few times but, for me, there’s nothing as memorable as the other albums I’ve got by Anthrax.

May 9 2023May 8 2023

World Painted Blood – Slayer

There are some Slayer albums that I’ve listened to a lot. This is not one of them. I hate to say it but after a time the output of Slayer merges into one sort of sound and I can’t really tell the songs apart. It’s not just Slayer – it’s all bands. I think they produce some excellent early work when they are refining working together and then it’s pretty much down hill after that. I don’t want to listen to the fourteenth Iron Maiden album which sounds just like the 13th. I want power and interest. Having said that AC/DC pretty much never changed their style and I like nearly all their albums. I have no idea why that is.

May 6 2023

Wolfmother – Wolfmother

I nearly bought this album when I was in Melbourne, Australia. I think I was in a Blockbuster there and having a movie day because nearly three weeks on holiday was quite hard work. I’m not sure why I didn’t buy the CD but I ordered it when I got home. It’s a great album. A mix of Sabbath and Zeppelin. I really like it. They deserved to do well with this one.

Fair use, Link

November 20 2022

With Teeth – Nine Inch Nails

I got this album because there are some excellent albums by Nine Inch Nails and this was really the first that I bought fresh from release. It’s a good album with some excellent songs. Well worth buying. They played some from this when I saw them in Cornwall earlier this year.

November 17 2022

Wicked Sensation – Lynch Mob

I got this album way back when George Lynch, the guitarist with Dokken, created his own project and called it Lynch Mob. I’ve listened to this recently and the first “side” of the album is pretty darn good, there are no bad songs. However, side two gets a little “meh”. Overall this is a pretty good album. Here’s a list of the names of the good songs:

Wicked Sensation
River of Love
Sweet Sister Mercy
Hell Child
She’s Evil But She’s Mine
Street Fighting Man

The album is very much an excellent example of cock-rock from the 80s. I like it.

November 3 2022November 3 2022

Who Made Who – AC/DC

This album is a bit of a cheat album. It’s a compilation of the best songs with just one new song added: Who Made Who. This album provides the soundtrack to the film Maximum Overdrive which I have not seen. Look, it’s an AC/DC album. It’s got great songs on it. It’s worth it. But buy the other albums too.

November 2 2022

Who Cares A Lot: Greatest Hits – Faith No More

I bought this album pretty much because while I like Faith No More I’m not sure I want a whole album of their work, especially an early album. This album is good.