Communications

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Fast & Furious 9

I went to the cinema. I went to the Cineworld cinema in Rochester. I went to the cinema to see Fast & Furious 9 [fucking 9 of them! Can you believe that?]. While driving the approach to the cinema I noticed that the tide was high, the water was lapping around the base of the grasses on the mudbank so it was almost as high as can be. I wrote about why I was seeing this film in this communication. After watching this film I considered how to rate it using my rating system discussed here. Then I tweeted the result because that is what I do.

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I guess I ought to explain my rating of 2/10. The system means that this rating is used when I walk out of a film or gave up watching or just hated it. I’m not sure I hated it and I didn’t walk out but I didn’t want to give this film a massive 4 stars as that would’ve been over-rating it so my excuse for the two stars is that I fell asleep and so this film was so terrible that it couldn’t keep me awake. Not that missing a few minutes in the middle of this film mattered really, there wasn’t any sensible plot as far as I could tell.

This film is what you expect it to be. Plenty of fighting with hands, guns and vehicles. Ridiculous stunts. Over the top sequences and general bollocks. It’s a Fast and Furious film. It’s going to be terrible. I could explain everything that was wrong with this film from the plot to the physics but there are two reasons I don’t want to:

a) there was so much wrong I don’t have the time or inclination to do it.
b) this film doesn’t deserve those words to be written about it.

My experience was one of being too warm, a short period of sleep, feeling cold, losing my facemask, general horror at the physics in the film and laughter at how pathetic some of the scenes were. Does Tbilisi have that much space or canyons close to it?

This is communication number 1899 and so here’s some information about what happened in that time period:

  • Marconi transmits a signal across the Channel.
  • The paperclip is patented.
  • Zeppelin builds the first successful airship.
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The Real Thing – Faith No More

I bought this because a big part of me wants to really like Faith No More. But, it doesn’t quite do it for me. I’m not sure why. This is a solid album but not one I would play too often. I’m not even sure if I’ve played past the first two songs, I’m writing this review on reputation alone!

As this is the 1898 communication here’s a few things that happened in 1898:

  • Henry Lindfield is the world’s first automobile fatality on a public highway in Purley.
  • Bava Baccaris massacre.
  • The Curies discover radium.
  • Establishment of the Republic of Negros.
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I Know It’ll Be Terrible

I’ve booked a ticket to go and see the latest Fast and Furious film. This could be a massive mistake because when I went to the last one I walked out it was shockingly bad. This time I go knowing that it will definitely be utter shit. There are a few reasons I am going to spend a couple of hours in the dark:

  • I like going to the cinema.
  • This film is in screen 8 which is the comfy one.
  • I’m going to listen to God Awful Movies after I’ve watched this.

The point of going to watch this film isn’t the actual film experience it’s the experience of listening to a podcast that rips it to shit afterwards. I have listened to every episode of God Awful Movies and I even send them money using Patreon. I pay the God Awful guys because they entertain me each week and I am happy to reward them for that. Noah, Heath and Eli make me laugh and have helped get me through some iffy times in my life. It’s a couple of hours each week where I can concentrate on something so shitty that these guys have made over 300 episodes where they explain, and take the piss out of, terrible religious films. F9 is a Patreon bonus episode. So, I’m going to see the film. So that I can understand what they are talking about. My time in the cinema will be rewarded when I listen to the podcast after.

I’ve also been watching Boondock Saints II because the GAM guys are reviewing it in a standard episode. I’ve watched Boondock Saints as a lot of the music I like references it and uses quotations from the movie. It is not a good movie.

What follows is something I tried doing before but didn’t follow it through. This is communication 1897 and so here are a few things that happened in 1897, quite likely the ones I find curious rather than the best ones:

  • Some fraternities were founded in the USA – by the way, fuck fraternities, fucking awful things.
  • Dracula first published.
  • The Lattimer massacre.
  • The Korean Empire is founded.
  • The Wissenschaftlich-humanitäres Komitee is founded, the first LGBT campaigning organisation.
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Isolation – What A Trip

Got pinged to isolate. I had to leave work. I went home. I organise some aspects of my life. I had to do my first online order for groceries in around eighteen years, I’d been running the house to empty ready for a shop at the weekend. Fortunately I still have a number of goods left over from my stock of Brexit rations. This communication is part diary, part thoughts, part descent into madness. I had plans for the next few days, I was going to go to the cinema, go shopping and sort out a few things around the house. I guess I can still sort those things out. Let’s see what happens. I think the verb tenses used in the following will mess with your head. Some is future tense, because I wrote things in the morning and some is past tense because I said what I did!

Day 1 – last day of work. I’ve organised all the things I can and I wait for the start of the summer holiday. On this day I ended up doing some exercise, an hour on the rower, watched Guns Akimbo and finished two TV series which I will write about separately. I also did some Minecraft but somewhat aimlessly.

Day 2 – first day of the summer holiday. Current plans are to exercise. Watch TV and play some games, maybe a new one. I played X-Plane, Minecraft and Life Is Strange. The food delivery came a few hours early so that was good. I weedkilled some weeds and thought about home improvement works I am planning. I read up on the book I am reading to figure out wtf is going on and the wikipedia page helped a lot.

Day 3 – Some exercise and chilling are planned. Looking back I’m not entirely sure what I did. I watched Page Eight on Netflix. I ordered some stuff from Amazon. Had a BBQ and I’m not really a fan of eating outdoors so ate indoors. I got fed up with the book I was reading and so finished a chapter and moved on to Red Shirts by Scalzi.

Day 4 – I rowed a little bit. I read a little bit. I did some thinking about the bedroom project [not a sex thing] and upgraded aspects of a laptop.

Day 5 – Rowing. Minecraft. Storm watching. Localised floods. Reading. Cleaned the U-Bends in the kitchen. Responded to a local planning survey. Watched Blue Origin launch and land.

Day 6 – Cheat for food and exercise. Started watching The Right Stuff. Started watching Salting the Battlefield. Played Minecraft with the aim of getting a wither skull or something so I can spawn the wither and then kill it and get a beacon. Got a wither skull but died a few times doing it. Lost some decent netherite tools but overall, quite pleased. Had the boiler fixed – maybe, let’s see how that goes.

Day 7 – Exercised. Tidied bedroom. Finished watching Salting The Battlefield. Watched some Olympic softball. Read some of my book. Played Minecraft.

Day 8 – Played Gran Turismo, Minecraft. Emptied a bedroom ready for customisation project. Started watching Star Trek Enterprise, got bored. Started watching Manifest, got bored. Bought what I thought was Boondock Saints II on Amazon, paid £5 but it was just a ten minute interview – cheeky bastards – got a refund from Amazon for that. Downloaded Saints II and started watching it. Customised the Magic Mirror to have an animated rainfall map.

Current Magic Mirror Configuration

And that is isolation completed. I am now free to leave the house and head out to the big wide world. But, I don’t really trust anyone else so I will be wearing a mask when I’m inside. I will avoid crowded places and I will stay away from other people. I’ve got plenty of my summer holiday left to get things done, although if I’m honest there won’t be much different from the stuff listed in here.

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The Razor’s Edge – AC/DC

Blow Up Your Video came along as my awareness of AC/DC grew and I really liked the album. I seem to remember being in Jersey and having it on tape although I mostly bought records, music cassettes were a popular portable method for listening to music. The Razor’s Edge was the second album released by AC/DC after my consciousness was raised. It’s an excellent album and has a number of great songs.

  • Thunderstruck – everyone knows this song. It’s a great song. The video is excellent. A great opener and worth the hype.
  • Fire You Guns – another high speed brilliant song.
  • Moneytalks – It does doesn’t it, but also another single and a great song.
  • The Razor’s Edge – brilliant, well crafted.
  • Mistress For Christmas – a fucking terrible song made for the xmas market but it’s kinda cheeky also and makes me laugh. I suppose you have to be good at song writing to be able to write this stuff.
  • Rock You heart Out – proper high speed rock.
  • Are You Ready – a live classic and classic AC/DC. I’m running out of superlatives.
  • Got You By The Balls – not the best AC/DC song with balls in the title but still a great song.
  • Shot Of Love – not sure about this one.
  • Let’s Make It – AC/DC songs are pretty much all about sex. All of them.
  • Goodbye and Good Riddance to Bad Luck – it’s ok.
  • If You Dare – fantastic riff work.

There’s an awful lot of good on this album and not a lot of shit. It’s well worth owning and playing. Everyone sings along with AC/DC right?

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Withdrawal Method

I’ve decided to withdraw from the news and views of what’s happening around the world. I see nothing but conniving ignorant cunts from the UK government and it distresses me a fair bit. You know what it’s like: you’ve got ten minutes here or there and so you have a little look through some Twitter Feeds, get reasonably annoyed at what you see and vow to leave it alone for a while. Yesterday I watched the BBC news at 1300 for a little while and the sheer arse-about-faceness of the tory minister brought on to defend the PM was incredible. He didn’t answer the question, which I guess is why he’s a minister and I’m not. It would be nice if this bunch of tory pricks could actually be honest and show sympathy. But we know that tories are literally that because they can’t empathise.

Today I’ll be trying to avoid the news, Twitter and Reddit. I’ve uninstalled Reddit from my phone, again. I had loaded it as a little summertime time waster but the politics is just annoying. I quite like seeing the cool stuff but I’ll survive without it. I think it’s time to create some proper goals in Minecraft and start working towards them. Today’s job is to find a mob spawner to XP up my mending enchanted tools. I also want to learn about potions for when I go to the End. Fuck this world and it’s short-sighted politicians. Time to enter to the world of games.

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Omboue Hospital

As part of my round the world trip in X-Plane I landed at Omboue Hospital in Gabon. It’s such a quiet airfield that X-Plane has nothing there. Not sure where my next stop will be, I’m considering flying over the top of the DRC as, you know, it’s the DRC and not a healthy place.

Omboue Hospital
Omboue Hospital
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The Number Of The Beast – Iron Maiden

666. An obscure reference from the drug induced writings of a crazy man and two thousand years later we have people concerned about a number causing bad shit. I know the religious have issues with reality but it makes me laugh just how much they think writing a particular thing or saying a thing can affect the physical world. It’s a bit like them believing that wishing really hard actually does anything.

I’ve had this album since I first got into metal all those years ago. I didn’t get it when it came out, my development occurred a few years after that but by 1988 I was a fully fledged member of the Maiden fandom and totally loved everything they did. This album with Clive Burr on drums is still amazing and something that stands up to time. I know I’m going to be slightly controversial when I say there isn’t a duff song on here as I know there are friends of mine who feel quite strongly about some of them:

  • Invaders – As an opener I’ve always liked this song. I sort of consider it a follow up to Invasion. Close friends of mine disagree with its greatness.
  • Children Of The Damned – is a fucking masterpiece and I recently played it to get the guitar solos out of my head as they were ear-worming. Bloody marvellous.
  • The Prisoner – this song made me seek out the TV show and both are great. Personally I’ve always been slightly irritated that the start-stop gives way to full-blown rampage a bit too quick.
  • 22 Acacia Avenue – the follow up to Charlotte The Harlot and possibly my least favourite song on the album. I don’t know why.
  • The Number Of The Beast – a song about the beast. Brilliant. I guess it worked into the Satanic Panic of the later 1980s.
  • Run To The Hills – a social commentary on the genocide of the native Americans if a bit gimicky.
  • Gangland – I really live this. I like the speed and the beat.
  • Hallowed Be Thy Name – shiver down my spine. Simple.
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