Category: Penguin

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Capture The Flag

Went to see Capture The Flag earlier at the Cineworld in Rochester. As is now usual I rated this film on IMDB and you should see an explanation of those ratings on this communication.

So, let me explain a little more about all this. This was a CGI kids film. It was about a kid who wants to get his father speaking to his grandfather. Both are NASA astronauts. The grandfather missed out on the moon for reasons that are explained much later in the film.

SPOILER WARNING

It would appear that an evil corporate head and owner wants to mine all the H3 on the moon and sell it to countries on Earth in a monopoly. In doing so he tells the Earth that the original landings were faked and that he is going to claim the moon by getting there first. The POTUS decides that an Apollo craft needs to be sent to the moon as soon as possible so that the FLAG on the moon can be saved and ownership of the moon is for all humans.

Grandfather then trains the father in Apollo style techniques using craft that have been mothballed for 50 years. By an unfortunate series of coincidences the grandfather, the boy and his best female friend end up launching to the moon. Big evil corporation head gets there too and starts destroying the previous landing sites [even though he also declared in the film he doesn’t care about that only the H3]. Evil man has managed to launch an entire mining operation to the moon, developed within his own corporation. etc. etc.

I had issues with this film. It’s just too implausible. I know it was CGi and all that but there were many points that irritated me. Space suits that would fit a kid. Having to go to the moon rather than orbit Earth and return. Massive moon mining ship that is developed without anyone knowing about it. Surfing over the moon’s surface. Oh, just so much.

It could have been made a much more enjoyable film if it had been made more realistic. In short, it irked me. Hence the low rating.

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Summer Choices

Met with Smith last night and we chatted about which music festival to attend this year. You may have read about M’era Luna from last year. It was a very good time but this year there’s more choice!

Our preferred choice was to head to Munich for the Dark Festival, but this has been cancelled which is a shame. There were a lot of good bands that we would have liked to see there.

So now there are two choices. M’era Luna at Hildesheim again or Amphi Festival in Cologne. Here’s the line up for M’era Luna:

meraluna1

Of the bands in the above list I would really like to see VNV Nation, Eisbrecher, Combichrist, Hocico and Suicide Commando. But there are more:

meraluna2

This list has a few tasty treats: [:SITD:], Noisuf-X and Centhron. So, M’era Luna has a good selection, worth travelling the 500 miles for!

Next up we have the selection from Amphi Festival.

amphi1

The list of bands to definitely see at Amphi is: Aesthetic Perfection, Covenant, Faderhead, Frontline Assembly, Mono Inc, Suicide Commando, Unzucht and [X-RX].

It’s a tough choice. The current preference is M’era Luna. Wait and see.

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Hmmm. Snoring Cure?

So, stumbled across a snoring cure. You can see the website here. Now, I’m gonna call bullshit on this right now, but that would seem rather unfair to the company so let’s look a little closer at what they claim.

I have screen clipped their website and I will discuss each section. The main page looks like this:

Snoring1

This says that you wear the ring on your little finger and that it is a snoring treatment that is guaranteed to work. Apparently it’s also been clinically tested! They have made a very specific claim here that wearing this ring on your little finger will make you stop snoring. What else do they have to say?

Snoring5

This explains how it works. Or rather it doesn’t. All it says is that there are Acu-activators on the ring. A quick google shows that this isn’t a real term and isn’t used anywhere apart from the stop snoring website.

Snoring9

It’s not looking too good for this product and we’ve not even really started. I think they may be trying to imply that the things on the ring activate acupuncture points? This is irrelevant as acupuncture is clearly bullshit.

Next bit from the www.goodnightsnoring.com website:

Testimonials amount to nothing. The plural of anecdote is NOT data. I don’t care. 3500 years of history can’t be wrong can it? Of course it can. We now use medicine with evidence not rubbish about Chi and acupuncture points. Also, being mentioned in the Daily Fail is not necessarily a good thing. In fact if a medical “cure” is mentioned in the Mail or Express you can pretty much assume it’s bullshit.

Now, the website covers this with the following page:

Snoring7They claim that a good clinical trial was performed and the results were almost a miracle. This is good because if there is good evidence then I would be prepared to change my mind. The goodnightsnoring.com website doesn’t have a link to the clinical trial. I want to be able to read it and then change my mind. It seems that these are extraordinary claims and so it would be prudent to examine the evidence.

I searched PubMed. There was nothing about the Snoring Ring as being sold here. So I tried searching Google Scholar. Nothing again, just a paper about breast cancer. This was troublesome, my two main sources for scientific papers were showing nada. I decided to look using plain old Google. I searched for “snoring ring clinical trial”.

search1

From these results I wasn’t interested in the Snoring Ring website, there’s nothing on there. I also couldn’t care for a news article in the Daily Fail [they don’t know how to report science]. The other links were mostly places that sell the product and so have probably just got the blurb from a product information release. What interested me originally was the ASA link.

In 2012 a complaint was made to the ASA about the evidence for the claims that the Snoring Ring company were making. The complaint was upheld and the company were told not to make claims about the snoring ring. The so called medical trial was completed after this ruling by the ASA!

Also in the search results was a link to ANTISNOR, a company who produce anti snoring rings. Now, this company mentioned on this page a French company who had done the clinical trials.

In 2012, a French scientific research organisation, Proclaim (www.proclaim.fr), studied the effect of AntiSnor Acupressure Ring . . . .

The Proclaim website doesn’t exist. Even though ANTISNOR link to it. Oh dear, the trail has gone cold.

There are a number of RED FLAGS on the original website. The mention of the following aspects all cause concern. They don’t mean it doesn’t work, they just mean we should be sceptical until we have seen the evidence.

  • Money back guarentees
  • Testimonials
  • No links to the evidence
  • Publicity from the Daily Mail
  • Anecdotes
  • Non invasive and side effect free
  • Appeal to antiquity on the acupressure part of the site
  • No email address to ask for a copy of the clinical trial

So far, I’ve had some people say they think this work and no actual medical trials even though one is claimed. Back to Google.

Another link from Google heads towards Princeton Consumer Research. It appears that this company will undertake clinical trials for you and then allow you to use the results in your publicity. Here’s a Princeton Brochure with their claims. After finding this I found a company called Aspen Clinical Research. They had a pdf linked here and also Aspen-Clinical-Anti-Snoring-Ring-Media-Coverage1 from my site. This PDF essentially claims that the publicity they managed to produce for the Anti Snoring ring was brilliant. They seem to be more of a PR firm than a clinical trial firm. This makes me very wary.

Aspen Clinical Research even went so far as to persuade the press that there was a National Stop Snoring Week in 2014. This is depressing reading.

stopsnoringweek

I hadn’t realised there would be companies that are willing to be paid to undertake some form of research to legitimise PR claims and also produce media puff.

Both Aspen Clinical Research and Princeton Consumer Research do not seem concerned with legitimate medical trials, rather they concentrate on PR friendly trials to produce media results. Neither of the websites were searchable from their homepages. Also, both companies seem to be offering to pay participants. This can’t be a good thing, it would bias the results. All I want is a copy of the clinical trial for the Anti Snoring Ring and I can’t find it. What I have found are companies who provide easy results for PR.

It seems to me that these companies offer to do science the wrong way around and therefore they don’t offer science. It looks like the cycle goes:

  • You have a product and want to make specific claims
  • You will be banned from advertising if you can’t substantiate these claims
  • You PAY one of these companies to do a trial for you so you can then substantiate your claim
  • You then advertise claiming scientific proof.

The correct cycle should be:

  • Scientific research indicates that a specific product could work
  • The product is developed
  • A trial is designed and the details published before being conducted
  • The product is tested rigorously
  • The product is deemed to work, the product can be advertised with specific claims
  • The product is deemed not to work, the product can’t be advertised

I feel utterly depressed at the state of media manipulation and that there are companies that do this as their raison d’etre. Everything we see and hear is manipulated to sell products. I started this communication as a simple investigation into the evidence for a product as they claim. What I found was a collection of companies willing to provide you the evidence you want so you can claim what you want for your product that (probably) does nothing.

Anyway, I can’t get to the evidence for the Snoring Ring. I haven’t found the paper with details of the trial and so I am going to complain to the ASA about their website claims. Watch this space.

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A Playlist [and a good one at that!]

So, it has been written within these communications that I have seen Combichrist a few times. , here, here and here. In fact it would be easier just to search Fooyah.net here.

So, out of those four gigs I reckon that the best set was the Old School Set they performed at Electrowerkz. I have now created a playlist on my iPhone and Sonos system that reflects what I think this concert was. I don’t have an exact list but this is close enough and a bloody good list of songs it is too!

OldSchool

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Burn It

So, the xmas break, which requires food and alcohol, along with a significant drop in exercise has resulted in what I would call a considerable gain of mass. I have written about mass loss before and I wrote more here also. To lose mass you have to burn more energy than you consume. It’s that simple [and no, you don’t have a gland problem!]. Not a lot else to it, it’s the psychology of it all that will fuck you over. I like eating and I comfort eat. It’s the self discipline that hurts. I know that when I am a healthy mass and exercise I can maintain that mass and still have blow-outs now and then.

So, before I get to my numbers, here are some facts about fat and exercise.

  • One pound of fat is roughly 3500 kcalories.
  • 10 metres walked or ran is roughly one kcalorie burnt.
  • Daily intake for a man should roughly be 2500 kcalories.

So, my ideal mass would be <80Kg. However, I’ve not been that for a long time and I would be happy with <82.5Kg which comes in at 13 stone in old money. I am currently hovering around +90Kg. This upsets me greatly, but it is my own fault. Now is the time for action. Let’s just assume I want to lose 10Kg just to make the numbers easy. It’s worth knowing how long this will take and what effort I will face. I think many people are unrealistic about mass loss.

Some maths:

10Kg is approximately 22 pounds of fat to be lost.

22 pounds of fat is roughly 77 000 kcalories extra that needs to be burnt.

If I reduce my daily intake by 500 kcalories then this would take 22 weeks, as I would lose one pound per week. This is nearly half a year, which is a depressing amount of time to be on a restricted calorie diet.

If I maintain 2500 kcalories per day and run to burn the excess I will need to run 770 kilometres. Given that my average run is probably around 10km this means 77 runs. If I manage to run twice a week, on average, then this is over 35 weeks which is again an intolerable amount of time.

What I need to do is reduce my calorific intake while at the same time exercising to produce the desired results in a shorter (but sensible) length of time. I aim to be a healthy mass again by the end of March. This gives me three months or twelve weeks. I need to lose around 2 pounds per week. I can do it. I am determined to do it as some of the health issues that I have mentioned previously are back.

My progress isn’t going to be public. I am not going to start tweeting about this all the time. I probably won’t even mention it if I do or do not get down to the target mass.

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I Don’t Understand

BBC NewsI am fully aware that I am going to come across as an asshole in this piece but this sort of thing really annoys me. This is a special allowance given to a group of people who “sincerely believe” that they must fast during a particular time of the year. Now, it’s not just Islam that is catered for. Christianity gets Easter breaks for schools moved around every year just because they “sincerely believe” that something special happened two thousand years ago not on that date.

Here’s my thought process.

Clearly god does not exist. If god did exist then how come all the books written for him by messengers are different and contain different messages. This is not my only argument against god but it is clearly a human invention. Show me your proof and I promise I will believe, I’m happy to wait.

As god does not exist all religions are bullshit. They are just codified ways of treating each other (or hating women, foreigners, gays, the disabled etc if you have really read them).

Therefore all “sincerely held beliefs” are bullshit. No state should tolerate them being used as excuses for special treatment.

Now that seems extreme but in reality it means everyone gets treated the same. The same rules apply to one and all. I utterly fail to understand how you can tell what a “sincerely held belief” is. How do you know someone has that? If I want every Wednesday off work because the Church of the Flying Spaghetti monster deems that necessary everyone would laugh at me.

That’s not a real religion.

They would say.

How the fuck can you tell?

Would be my response.

It’s a bit like Donald Trump claiming he’ll stop all muslims entering the USA. How the fuck can you tell who is a muslim? Do you ask them? How do you know they aren’t lying. What do you have to do to be a true muslim? How can you prove you are a true jew? How do you tell someone that you are a devoted christian? This is the “no true scotsman” fallacy. You can’t tell this stuff.

Let’s stop asking for changes for groups of people because of “special pleading” or “sincerely held beliefs”. I don’t like the idea that once one group gets special treatment then all the others should get it too. Let’s just treat everyone the same and call this treatment out for what it truly is: bullshit.

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Fucking Trousers

On the 2nd January 2016 I went to a Not New Year’s Eve party at Electrowerkz venue in Angel. Sally and I had been before to this event and really enjoyed it, details here.

We left home around 21:45 after spending a while getting ready in our outfits. There exist pictures from our previous outing but there are none of this visit. I had black nail varnish again and silver stripes over my bald head. We arrived near Electrowerkz about an hour later after driving in to Angel and parking on someone’s drive using the website Just Park. It’s not even a five minute walk to the venue. It was brilliant to be there again, it’s a really nice atmosphere, plenty of costumes, plenty of not-costumes and much good natured chatter and dancing.

There was quite a lot on and I was looking forward to seeing Shiv-r. I had downloaded two albums by them about a month before and I liked it. I also wanted to see the suspension performance piece in the courtyard.

Here’s what went on that night.

ClubAC1ClubAC2

I was mostly interested in the Theatre of Sin shows. They were pretty good. The two bands were good. Pretty Addicted were great and had a punky sound with a female vocalist. Shiv-r were a slight let down live, the frontman wasn’t as good as the singer from Pretty Addicted even though the music was more my style. I missed Mynxie Monroe as Sally and I were probably exploring the main areas of Electrowerkz. There are quite a few rooms and each has a bar attached.

The courtyard has a bar shaped like a tube train and the exit to the smoking area along with a staircase up the back of the building which gets to the cloakroom right at the top. There’s a room downstairs where Purefuckingindustrial was hosted, it was good music, very much my new stuff, see this communication.

If you move up the stairs, past the area where they were showing Game Of Thrones episodes on a large screen, you see phrases painted on the wall. These are from the film Aliens and I think it’s a great touch to give the place some atmosphere.

Turn right from the landing and you enter an Alien themed bar and through that you get to the Hellfire room. Good stuff in here a DJ playing a good mix of music.

Keep going through the Hellfire room and head up a small flight of stairs to end up in the “aircraft” bar. I think this is modelled on an airplane but it’s hard to tell really. There are aircraft windows up on the wall  and (not very) engine looking lights suspended from the ceiling. But, it’s a bar and we managed to be given an extra beer in here by mistake. Once through some more doors you end up in what I would call the main venue. It’s a small hall with a stage at one end. This is the top floor or the Theatre of Sin for the purposes of ClubAC.

Although Shiv-r hadn’t finished their set Sally and I went to the courtyard to see the dying mermaid from Cynth Icorn. There are videos available on the interwebs if you search, the one I found was on Vimeo. It was very curious to watch. A girl was suspended from the ceiling using two hooks through the skin by her shoulder blades. I think I understand now that skin is pretty tough stuff. I’m guessing it hurt quite a bit and towards the end of the performance you could see it was very tiring working against the pain. I was going to put a picture in here but you are intelligent enough to know whether you want to see it or not and can use the internet yourself.

Once it got to about 0400 we decided to head home. We both got goodie bags on the way out although mine was just an envelope and Sally’s was an envelope in a bag so I guess hers was a proper goodie bag. We got home around 0500 and went to sleep. It was a great night. Good people, brilliant outfits, reasonably cheap drink and excellent shows. Can’t wait to go again.

 

Oh, the title of this communication. The first visit to ClubAC was easy to title as Sally muttered fucking stairs a lot over the evening. This time there weren’t any major complaints, she had mentioned her trousers slipping down a couple of times, hence the title of this communication.

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The Danish Girl

I recently went to see The Danish Girl at Cineworld in Rochester. We were in screen 8 which means comfy seats and a nice auditorium. Sally hadn’t been in there before and was somewhat shocked at the tables between the seats downstairs and the size of the chairs upstairs. The rail in front of the front row upstairs was slightly too high to allow proper slouching in the seat.

As ever I rated this film on IMDB and you should read my page explaining ratings here.

So, this was a good film. It was very enjoyable and it is surprising how good and effeminate Eddie Redmayne is. This is a film about tolerance and understanding, it has lessons that much of the world could use to understand their population. All these countries with non-liberal views should just fuck off this planet.

So, the film. It’s worth watching. What I would definitely recommend is that you then read the Wikipedia pages about Lili Elbe and Gerda Wegener. The real story is far more interesting than the film and more fascinating. You should also check out this page of Gerda’s art.

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Star Wars : The Force Awakens

So, before I start you should be aware that there are going to be SPOILERS in this page. Please go away if you don’t want to read anything about the plot or what I thought about the film.

You have been warned.

As normal I rated this film on IMDB and tweeted my result. You should read this communication about my rating system as it explains quite a bit.

So, I rated this a 10. You MUST be made aware that according to my rating system a film which I will definitely buy or pay money to see again gets a 10. I am going to buy this film on Blu-Ray and I will watch it with my sons. By default this film gets a 10. Not because I thought it was great but because I am going to buy it. Damn.

I went to see this film on Boxing Day [2015] in Milton Keynes. Sally and I went to the 4DX screening, mainly because it would make it more enjoyable for her. 4DX is a cinema system with moving seats, jets of air and water, scents, fog and rattles in parts of the seat.

You can trust me that the experience isn’t really like the promotional picture. It’s quite good fun, it doesn’t add anything to films really. If it’s a good film you won’t really notice the effects and if it’s a shit film then it will still be shit. We first saw Jurassic World in this screen.

If I had to honestly rate this film then I can easily and categorically say it is better than episodes 1,2 and 3. After that I would probably say it is worse than any of the originals, 4,5 or 6.

The film itself looks lovely. It would have been so good if it was the very first film. There wasn’t a great deal of prior knowledge required. I suppose a vague understanding of the family trees would have been helpful but mostly it could stand alone. All of the effects looked organic and the whole feel of the film was one of pleasure for the eyes. Thank god that they didn’t use all the CGI backgrounds, if they did the technology has come on leaps and bounds. The film looked lovely.

Now, here’s the tricky bit. The story itself was bollocks. Yes, it was a Star Wars story and it was always going to make a fuckton of money. But it was a shit story. The further I get away from seeing the film to more annoyed I get at them wasting the opportunity to really add to the Star Wars universe. Let’s just take some of the plot bit by bit, just indulge me, or if your indulgence is not forthcoming then go ahead and read a random communication within this website.

Orphan (?) girl lives alone on a sandy planet making her living in the desert [episode 4].

Cute robot, who everyone understands, befriends girl [episode 4]. Now this is OK, the whole point of the original was that the film was about the robots.

Droid holds secret plans/map to find something important [episode 4].

Bad man in a mask [episode 4,5,6].

Bigger bad man appearing via hologram [episode 5].

Good girl gets interrogated but manages to resist and not give away secret family history to interrogator who is a very close relation [episode 4].

Pimped up light sabre [episode 1].

Giant spacecraft to destroy large things [episode 4].

Shield of giant spacecraft needs to be destroyed and this can only be done from within enemy system [episode 6].

Girl has to be rescued from big bad spaceship [episode 4].

Girl who has the force looks in a basement and experiences the dark side of the force and foreboding [Luke in the cave episode 5].

Big bad spaceship has to be destroyed by a single X-Wing fighter flying through a trench to get to the centre [episode 4 and 6].

Angry teenage boy is annoyed at his parents [episode 4].

Big bad space ship blows up and rebels celebrate [episode 4,6].

Last Jedi who failed in his training of young Jedi disappears off to far flung planet to live alone [episode 4,5].

Bad man who might be dead but probably got away [episode 4 (kinda)].

So, overall the film is just a rehash of the good films from before. It looks beautiful. The story is terrible. I have more moans and groans and things that annoyed me. I will probably keep getting these over the next few weeks so you might find that I add to this page quite a bit.

Kylo Ren is a spoilt child who needs a slap and his allowance should be removed. What an utterly terrible character. He desperately wants to be like the grandfather he never knew. What a twat. I apologise to the actor who played him but he looked really annoying once he removed the mask. He also looked nothing like his parents. NOT SCARY. He could have at least been seriously disfigured in a childhood accident, there could have at least been some form of credible back story to him.

Rey [which I first heard as Ray and thought “oh, that’s a little odd”], grows up on a sandy planet and then escapes with a droid with a secret map. She then discovers she has the force and learns really quickly to use it to her advantage. I am pretty convinced she is going to be the twin sister of Kylo, she wasn’t aware of who her parents were. Boring. It’s been done before. [Jase has just text to say he thinks Rea will end up being Luke’s daughter which does make more sense than my theory].

I did almost audibly cheer when the Millennium Falcon appeared in the film. But WHY oh WHY did they have to include reference to the terrible and incorrect line about making the Kessel run in under 12 parsecs. Everyone knows that a parsec is a unit of distance. Arrrrrgh. I have just looked at Wookieepedia and they use some awesome apologetics (perhaps as good a biblical twats who try to explain why the incorrect stuff in the bible is true) to justify the use of wrong units in the films. I’m not impressed, it’s a clever argument but it’s made after the fact to justify bullshit (again, like the bible and ALL other holy books). Also the Wookieepedia page claims that you have to use distance because of the problems with relativistic time, well, I’m sorry but if you are going to include a correct reference to relativity then all the Star Wars films have massive time dilation issues. It’s classic apologetics, creating an explanation post hoc and then ignoring other factors.

Why was Luke’s light sabre in a trunk in the basement of a bar on a forest planet? How? What?! Also, Rey found it so the entire Star Wars universe is pure coincidence.

I thought the battle scenes looked very good, however, I am somewhat concerned at the g-forces experienced by the pilots of X-Wings and TIE Fighters. They seem to overcome these without any major tech to help them.

When the star is consumed by the new Mega-Death Star shouldn’t everything pretty much freeze straight away? There wouldn’t be any external source of light energy.

Why did R2 suddenly wake before Luke had returned? He seemed to come to life at a random time. Perhaps I missed it but I’m sure that BB-8 had already been near R2.

C3PO has a red arm. What? The rebel alliance are so tight fisted that they have no replacement arms for a historically important droid who was hand made by Anakin?

The military control base for the attack at the end seemed to look a lot like the base at Hoth. I guess we are to assume that technology hasn’t moved on and that it is the best possible organisation of systems.

Finally, for my initial communication about this film I wish to bother you about the communication system the rebels have with the Mega-Death Star. They seem to have a link to the Empire’s secret base and understand its operational procedure because at the end of the film the countdown to firing and status of the weapon is known by the rebel HQ. How do they get this information in real time? At least in episode 4 the count down was provided by line of sight and Yavin being in the way. It was irritating.

 

 

 

So, here’s the thing. It’s a Star Wars film and it’s better than 1,2 and 3. I enjoyed it. It looked good. It just doesn’t make a great deal of sense and has a stupid plot. I would rate this film a 6/10 if I hadn’t already defined my rating system.

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Spectre

I took the plunge. I went to see Spectre at the cinema. The adverts had finally worked and I felt that it was something I ought to do. Before you read further you should ensure you have read this communication concerning my IMDB rating system. Here’s my tweet concerning my rating:

I will admit that this looks a low rating, especially when you see what else I have rated higher and I am sure that some people will be disappointed with my score. Let me explain.

I really liked Casino Royale with Daniel Craig, I thought they had put some energy into the Bond franchise. I wrote about it here on an old website although I haven’t re-read it to see what I thought about it. Quantum of Shit Solace was terrible, I hated it. I would have thought that I reviewed it within this website but a quick search proved fruitless, have a look and see if you can find it here. I just didn’t understand Quantum of Solace, it irritated me immensely and I was very close to letting go of bond, hence it’s taken me a long time to get around to seeing this one.

The opening in Mexico City was pretty good but also pointless. The endless running and shooting and fights. I think I’m just tired of the whole thing. There wasn’t anything that I hadn’t seen before. Except for the helicopter. The helicopter was awesome. The stunt flying was bloody fantastic. Very impressive. The fight in the helicopter was bollocks.

After this we had Bond being told to stand down. This happened before with Timothy Dalton as Bond, in Licence to Kill I think. It didn’t bother me. Why are MI6 people using mobile phones for communication when they know that the new service wants to monitor all information. Arrrrrrrrrgh. It’s annoying. I would also like to point you to a future post discussing why data mining is bollocks.

So, Bond then travelled somewhere after stealing a car and got from London to Rome, driving within 24 hours, which is fine I guess and then he attends a meeting where the head bloke psychically knows he is there. It was utter shite. The idea that criminals are manipulating politics and markets for their own gain is no more credulous than the illuminati doing it for their own purposes. Bullshit.

SO, the clue leads to some woman who Bond beds, obviously. She wanted him after knowing him for minutes. Then he heads of somewhere to find someone who left the group of badies. He kills himself after telling his arch enemy where his daughter is. Why should he do that. His daughter was safe before he told Bond. Off to somewhere in the states where people can pay a fortune to feel better about themselves and Q turns up with an MI6 laptop and is accessing all the data via a wireless network. Bullshit.

A fight on a train, in the dining cart, where everyone seems to have disappeared once the fight starts. A shoot out on a train (the best in Africa) and yet it continues on to its destination. Without stopping or arrests. Arrrrrrrrgh.

There’s so much to moan about in terms of plot and things I want to stop. It was nice to see Blofeld. It’s a shame they didn’t kill him but at least he can escape prison and then become part of future movies.

This whole film was a plot mess and terrible. I will admit that I will go back and watch another Bond movie from the 70s to see if they are just as bad. I disliked this film a lot. I just hope that when I finally get around to seeing the new Star Wars film that I won’t be feeling this bad.

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Comicon

On the 22 November I got up and looked forward to a train journey from Rugby to Birmingham International.

Now, I live in Kent and the International train stations down this way go to the continent by TRAIN. You can get on a train at Ebbsfleet or Ashford and get off in Paris, Brussels or Disneyland [wtf would anyone want to go there?]. Birmingham International, by contrast, requires you to get off the train and go through the airport to board a plane. Same end result I guess but not as cool as a train going under the English Channel.

I like the trains from Rugby to Birmingham. They don’t cost a great deal, there’s a reasonable car park close to Rugby station, are always busy and comfortable. There were plenty of people dressed up at the station heading to Comicon in their cosplay outfits.

Sally and I had tickets to go to the MCM Birmingham Comicon at the NEC, we were meeting her brother there. I had bought an express ticket which apparently meant I could enter the hall an hour before Sally, whose brother bought their tickets. I think it’s worth pointing out that a glance through the official online programme produced absolutely no times that events were happening. This was annoying as it would have been nice to plan the day out while at home rather once in the venue and having to try and find a timetable.

Because I got in to the arena before Sally and her brother I went for a walk to figure out the lie of the land. I tried to find times of events, checked the autographing queues and looked at some of the shops there.

When it got close to the time for Sally to enter the event I wandered back and found her. I had expected a decorated hall with plenty of events. Comicon seemed to be a mostly trading event with many many shops selling all types of comic and anime stuff. There was an arena in a dome with some events but the cosplay was quite late in the afternoon and we decided to head home before then. We found a small stage area where the celebs were going to be paraded and interviewed. We hung around there to see Liv Tyler but didn’t listen to the interview. In one corner of the hall there was a Storm Trooper display:

They looked great. Although I think some of them looked a little short to be storm troopers.

We wandered around the autograph area where I saw various people from good sci fi shows over the years. I didn’t get their autographs as I don’t think that sort of thing bothers me. They are just people. Adding their signature to something may make it more valuable but doesn’t really change the product. I was quite impressed to see Virginia Hey as I remember her in Farscape. Steve Austin, of Six Million Dollar Man fame, was there too and I could see him. Liv Tyler also signed some stuff if you wanted.

I was already aware that these guys charge for signatures and it didn’t bother me particularly that they did but the prices really did vary! The bog standard celebrities were GBP5 for a signature. However, it would appear that the more famous you are the more you can charge:

That’s a lot of money just to be close to someone and see them sign something of yours!

On the way out of comicon Sally and I decided to find some geocaches as there were two within easy reach. It didn’t take long but as this was just after the Paris attacks it seemed weird to be nosing around near a train station and massive exhibition centre. We found two, as you can see below:

NEC Caches

I did buy a few comics direct from the writers who were based in writers corner. I have yet to read these but will report back once I have.

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From Insomnia To The Asylum

The 29th and 30th of August was a pretty cool weekend. Sally and I had booked some tickets for the Insomnia gathering at the Ricoh Arena in Coventry and also the Asylum festival at Lincoln.

Insomnia is a gaming festival that is usually held at the Ricoh Arena in Coventry. The arena is next to a Tesco superstore where much Redbull and other types of sugary caffeinated drinks. We parked in the Tesco car park for the couple of hours we were in the festival. It was an interesting experience. We spent time in a Minecraft hall, a large stage hall, and smaller exhibition areas. Around the periphery there were RAF and Army recruiters with activities that involved games. There were many more children and families there than I had expected. My initial assumption was that most people attending would be teenagers or early twenties, but I was surprised by the number of families walking around, dads and mums with pre-teen boys (mostly).

I wasn’t that interested in any of the big stage events and I wasn’t allowed into the LAN halls, which is where most of the intense gaming competitions were held. I was impressed with the lay out of event although a little more signage around the arena so I could find my way in would have been helpful.

In one of the gaming halls I was happy because I found a copy of Crackdown for the Megadrive. If you know a little about this website then you will know why this was an important game for me, you could just check here if you want.

Crackdown
Crackdown

I now need to set up Sally’s Megadrive and play the game. I am quite excited about that as she claims to be a bit rubbish at Crackdown. She also claims to be quite poor at a number of games but apart from crazy golf she has beaten me at everything we have played so far.

One of the stalls / attractions outside of the arena was a truck with about 8 PCs in the back and a racing game set up. When we first walked by I asked what track and car for the competition. This is important to me as there are some tracks I like racing on and certain cars I like “driving”. The response was:

Donington National Circuit, F1 cars.

This was not the best response. I don’t know the Donington Circuit and I hate driving F1 cars, I much prefer touring cars. We wandered off.

As we were walking around I though about Donington and tried to remember the circuit and figure out how to manage the F1 car around it. Most of the circuit was in my head, I just didn’t know where the National Circuit went different from the Grand Prix circuit. This was going to cost me £5 for some practice time and then a race with the qualifying time being the best lap time from a circuit.

We had to head back so I could have a go.

I joined a group of guys while they were practising but there was still about fifteen minutes left and then the race. The car worked well and all I had to learn was what gear to take each corner, where the last corner was and when to brake for each corner. I reckon it took a couple of laps to get the gears right for the corners and another couple to get the braking points. After that I was trying to decrease my times. While driving around I could see many people spinning and not managing the corners.

I qualified in pole position. I think it was a three lap race and I never got overtaken but I did pass many so I knew I was in first place. At the end of the session my fastest lap made it onto the leader board.

I was very pleased with my result. I reckoned that with another two or three goes I could save around three or four seconds but there wasn’t any way I was going to get to the top. I moved on. Overall the Insomnia experience was good and would have been much better if I had wanted to see some of the big stage events.

The last Sunday in August was a good one. We had tickets to the Asylum Festival in Lincoln. We had to get up early, get our costumes on and then drive to Lincoln. This was the second time we had driven that route recently as we also had a few days on the North Sea Coast. Our costumes had been planned and created over the previous months and I have to say a specific “thanks you” to Tina for the hats!

 

My boots are my favourite out of the whole outfit. It took quite a bit of effort to find these on sale in the UK but I managed it along with a pair I bought for when I’m in heavy metal mode. If you don’t quite get what steampunk then I can’t help you. JFGI.

The whole of Lincoln had been converted into a centre of steampunk excellence for the weekend. It was great to see so many people walking around in their costumes and the general public and tourists wondering what was going on. We managed to find a parking space near the centre of town and within half a minute of leaving the car people were already asking if they could take photos of us. That didn’t last too long as our costumes were quite poor in comparison to most at the event.

We had a rough idea of what events we wanted to see but the main one was the Tea Duelling. This is a real thing. Tea Duelling has its own rules and guidelines and was really great fun to watch. I have since duelled with tea and it is a mighty fine thing to do.

The entire centre of Lincoln embraced and celebrated the steampunk culture. It was great fun to be there and to see everyone in their costumes.

The big event of the day for us was a burlesque event which took place at the Bishop Grosseteste University about a mile from the centre of the city. We had some lunch and then tea at a pub in the centre of town and then walked to the university.

Oh Dear, What would the Major say?

The show was brilliant. It was funny, occasionally rude and all in the best possible taste. It was great fun to see. From what I can gather the show was put together by Tallulah Blue. She was once of the dancers. The compere for the evening was meant to be an ex Eastern Bloc lady (I can’t tell, her accent was good but then again was it an act that fitted with the overall theme?) The first dancer was Scottish and blond. That is pretty much all I can remember apart from the music being pretty up beat and she smiled a lot. She did throw her clothes into the audience as she took them off.

Tallulah Blue danced two numbers during the evening. There was a male dancer who did a brilliant version of the dance of the sugar plum fairy from Swan Lake (I think). It was brilliant and showed that the evening wasn’t sexist, just fun. At the end of the show the compere did a brilliant piss take of the Dita Von Teese champagne glass dance. We laughed a lot. It was such a brilliant experience to spend time in a city totally welcoming to a bunch of oddly dressed (mostly middle-aged) weirdoes. We both had a great time. The only problem was we had to drive home that evening, it would have been good to stay over somewhere. Maybe next year although I need to start work on my costume!

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iPhone Lock Screen

If you read my communications regularly then you will be aware that I spend some of my time in the Midlands. Mostly the West Midlands but I’m not sure where the divide is.

Way back in May I went with Sally to the Stockton Locks on the Grand Union Canal. Here’s a Wikipedia page about it all. The locks are quite impressive and the pub near them, The Blue Lias, was very nice too.

I also have been to Hatton Locks, which are part of the Grand Union Canal. These are even more impressive. There was a pub nearby but we didn’t go in as we were heading home from Packwood House and it was raining and cold.

I have been very impressed with the industrial history of the Midlands and as much as I knew that existed it is nice to see it in person and appreciate it more.

Anyway, I decided to change the lock screen on my iPhone to a picture of locks. I initially had this picture of Stockton Locks.

DSC_4397
Stockton Locks

However I now have this picture of Hatton Locks as my lock screen.

Hatton Locks
Hatton Locks

I will tell you that every time I look at this screen I chuckle. My lock screen is a series of locks.

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The Lincolnshire Coast

Over a weekend in the summer Sally and I travelled to the North Sea coast and Lincolnshire. We drove from Rugby, towards Leicester and then followed the A46 to Lincoln and the coast. We had booked to spend a night on a campsite near Mablethorpe. The campsite was called Grange Leisure Park and was predominantly a caravan park but with good camping facilities. We didn’t use my tent [see this communication for a picture of that], we used Sally’s. It’s a pretty good summer tent although not quite as nuclear proof as my gorgeous Vango!

The Beast, Tent and Sal's Head

We arrived, set up base camp and then headed to Mablethorpe to experience the Great British seaside. Oh, wow, it didn’t disappoint. It was a classic seaside town. There was plenty of shops selling tat. Plenty of punters on holiday and a few crazy golf courses. One of the purposes of this trip was to start a crazy golf championship between Sally and me. Our aim was to play as many of these courses as possible along the coast in the two days we had planned to be there.

Within Mablethorpe we found the following courses: Pirate Hill, a win to Sally. Pirate not on the hill, a win to Ian. Dinosaur Park, a win to Sally.

So after that we spent some money in an arcade. It was fascinating. It was a huge place where you can win tickets for playing the machines. We won about 50 tickets quite quickly but then realised you need well over 1000 tickets to claim a prize. We just gave our tickets to someone at a ticket counting machine. We also played some of the “tipping point” games because they are quite fun, whereas the TV show is utter shite. So, at this point Sally was winning the golf competition and we looked around for somewhere to eat dinner. I found the Kings Head a few miles away and we travelled there for food. It was quite a “local” pub but was also friendly and welcoming. The food was delicious and very impressive, it was nice to be treated well and have the chef actually speak to us about what to eat.

opening image

The Lincolnshire coast is a rather amazing place if you like caravans, static or otherwise. We spent some time looking at the caravans for sale at the camp site and I was also amazed at the number of re-sale places along our journeys.

On the second day we packed up camp and headed along the coast road after having breakfast and another round of golf at Queen’s Park in Mablethorpe. Sally won this round. I was 3-1 down in the series. Breakfast was good though!

We drove towards Anderby Creek, a place that Sally had visited as a child. I’d not been there as far as I know. The only Lincolnshire coast place I’d been to was RAF Donna Nook in the 1980s. I think I wrote about it here. Anderby Creek was a small place with chalets and caravans. We spent time on the beach flying the kites and then had morning tea in the restaurant near the Cloud Bar. By the way, a cloud bar isn’t a bar. It’s a platform from where you can look at the clouds [because you can’t do that from ground level!].

Cloud Bar, Anderby Creek

Here’s us flying kites. I managed to mess up my control cables and so had to order more from Amazon. It turns out there’s a kite specialist shop in Hinkley which is close-ish to Rugby.

After Anderby we headed to Chapel St Leonards. The beach here was quite nice and there was another arcade we visited. But this trip was about the crazy golf and so we managed to find a course just outside Chapel on the road south to Skegness. The course was based on a theme of elephants and I managed to win this one. It was now 4-2 to Sally.

It was now time to head to Ingoldmells. This is a part of Skegness to the north of the town. There was a theme park where entry was free and you just have to pay for the rides. There were some awesome ice cream shops and the whole place was manically busy. There were also plenty of caravans. Check out the aerial view of the town and spot just how many caravans are packed into the area.

We had a wander around and ate some food at a fish and chip shop. I have to say I found the whole experience rather surreal. It was a very odd place. We found two crazy golf places. We played an indoor course which was reasonable fun. I won that. Then we found a Pirate course that was suspended above the beach. I also won that. The scores on the doors were 4-5 to me. I felt quite pleased at this although Sally wasn’t happy about it.

The journey home took a while. We skirted Skegness and headed home via Boston and Grantham as there were awful roadworks on the way to the coast near Newark. We also went through Melton Mowbray. I did my best to avoid heading to Coningsby, Cranwell, Waddington and the air museum near Newark. One day I will do a tour of the RAF bases of Lincolnshire.

I loved this short break. It was really good fun.

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Steve Jobs

So, took a trip, with Sally, to see the film Steve Jobs at the Cineworld cinema in Rugby [or rather on the outskirts of Rugby].

As ever, I have rated this film on IMDb, but you need to see this communication for an explanation of how the numbers work.

Before I start on the film I would just like to mention some ‘ealth and safety gone mad. There was a popcorn making dude working two popcorn machines in an alcove behind the concessions stand. I kid you not he was wearing one of these:

face-maskNow, I’m not sure what the issue is, as the popping cookers are closed while the popping process is in play but this made me giggle, quite a bit!

So, the film. You can read about it and the synopsis and where it all takes place. My opinion of Apple has always been one of suspicion and, although I am an iPhone whore, I am perfectly aware that Apple always steal other ideas and make them that little bit better. I don’t think they really do for originality. They do great design.

As a film this was very well made. I liked the shooting and the actors. I liked knowing a bit more about the history and seeing the characters over time. I did NOT like Steve Jobs. I had already read about him being an arse and this film [I know it’s fiction] largely represented him as an arse. Do I think he was a clever man? Yes. Do I like Apple products? Yes. Do I have to like him or think he was great? No.

This film is well worth seeing. I enjoyed it. Even though Jobs was an arse.

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Kent By Car

I have some good friends. Back in the summer a good friend, AG, leant me his Mazda MX5 for a weekend. I think I picked it up on a Friday evening and then returned it late afternoon on the Sunday. I would have to say that it is a great little car, really fun to drive. Sally and I explored the countryside around Kent and also took a trip into London.

So, we bombed around Kent. I drove the car out and about and we went to Scotney Castle. It was pretty good weather while we were there, but we didn’t go into the Castle itself as we would have to pay around £14 each. We did walk around the grounds and suffered a short while with fine rain.

It was soon lunchtime and so we drove to the Three Chimneys pub near Biddenden. The Mazda looked good in the car park. Lunch was nice, I had Welsh Rarebit and Sally had a posh sausage roll.

After that we visited the Biddenden Vineyard shop to purchase some of their fine cider. I had been persuaded to try some of this by Sally. I’d never really enjoyed cider before, especially from the pub, I just didn’t like it. This real cider from a decent maker was really tasty. When leaving the car park for the vineyard I *may* have wheel spun and also handbraked a turn a little, you know, just for kicks.

From there we drove through the fine countryside of Kent towards a hairdressers shop in Parkwood, Maidstone. Sunday morning was going to be interesting and Sally wanted to make sure her hair looked awesome.

Sunday was a special-get-up-early day. We had to get ready for a photoshoot in London. For some reason, mainly my exhibitionism, we had met a photographer at a club night and she wanted to expand her portfolio and offered us a free photoshoot. This took a while and plenty of emails to arrange but organise it we did. We dressed, did make up and checked hair before driving in the Mazda to Lincoln’s Inn Fields. We had to keep the roof of the car up for most of the journey else hair would have been blown around and looked bad.

We found [free] parking and met Marisa, our photographer. We then spent about 2 hours posing in various locations around the square. Onlookers aplenty were staring and some cheeky fuckers (mostly men) even took photos of us (or mostly of Sally) as we posed in the street. The results of the official photos are stunning and we are both really happy. We will be ordering some for the walls.

As the photos were now complete we decided to tour around parts of London with the roof down. I had sunglasses on so my make up didn’t show too much and Sally wore extra clothes to keep warm. We toured around the Embankment, Trafalgar Square but we couldn’t get to Buckingham Palace as The Mall was closed.

After wandering around London we drove home and got changed. It wasn’t long until it was time to give the car back. It was great fun to have and drive around. I want to do it again, or maybe buy my own.

We plan to explore the Midlands and Cotswolds and so a Mazda would be very good for this. I’ll have to ask AG if I can borrow it again! Maybe even for a week!

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Jurassic World

I went with Sally to a 4D cinema to see this film on 25th Aug 2015. In reality I went to see a 4D film and it just happened to be this one. There were other films on but they weren’t very action based or at the right time. Jurassic World it was.

The film itself was poor. I rated it a 4 on IMDB, see this communication about my ratings.

The 4D effects though were quite interesting. The row of seats upon which I sat all moved together, so when the helicopter flew our seats tilted left, right, forwards and backwards. If there was a gust of wind in the film there were (noisy) fans that blew air into us. When the camera got water over it we were sprayed with a fine mist from the chair in front. There were “knockers” in the rear of the seat so I felt like I was punched in the back and there were things that made my trousers move near my calves.

Overall I am glad that I experienced this but I don’t think I would pay to do it again. I don’t even like 3D films, the idea of spending extra money to get kicked in the back doesn’t excite me. If the film maker can’t make a film interesting enough in 2D then it will still be shit in 3 or 4D.

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