Communications

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Making It Look Easy

Recently I have taken up jogging. This is a normal summertime hobby with the aim of helping lose my winter blubber and get fit. This year is slightly different as ww has decided to do this also. There is a little bit of competition there but it is rather unfair at the moment as ww has slight activity-induced asthma!

We have found a 5Km route around the vineyards and fields surrounding our village. There is a bit of vertical work to do as we live at the base of the North Downs and there are ups and downs on the route!

At the moment I can run the 5Km in about 32 minutes. Let’s say that this is about 6 mile per hour. Which would give a pace of about 10 minutes per mile. Now for the scary bit. . . . The current world record for the mile is under four minutes. If we take the four minutes as the correct time for ease of calculations then that is 15 mph or 2.5 times my current speed. An athlete I am not!

The London Marathon was recently run in a time of just over 2 hours. Assuming it to be about 2 hours you get a speed of 13 mph which isn’t that much slower than the speed for the mile and yet these athletes keep it up for 2 hours. VERY impressive. The human body is quite stunning! An athlete I still am not.

I think this is part of a bigger social phenomenon that professional people make things look very easy because they do it all-day every-day. Professional footballers make playing in the premiership look easy (although for £50,000 a week I’d make sure I could hit the net EVERY time). Professional athletes make it look easy, professional sports drivers make it look easy.
Even in my profession (teaching) I think we make it look easy. I have had people come and observe my lessons and I think they think it looks easy. Then when they get the chance to do it themselves a lot of them are rubbish and have no idea and to be honest won’t be able to do it after lots of practice. It takes the right kind of person with the right kind of practice to be good at their chosen profession. Not everyone can do it. The following is a misnomer:

you can do anything you set your mind to

Unfortunately this was said by Ben Franklin whom I would normally hold in high esteem. Perhaps it should be re-phrased:

you can do anything you set your mind to as long as you have the natural ability

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How Many Bottles?

The latest Robinson’s Juice promotion involves handing over some profit to transform playgrounds around the country.

Transform your patch

Here’s what it says on the back of a large juice bottle:
From the back of a squash bottle
Sometimes people get caught up on this sort of thing and don’t think about the numbers involved.

Let’s consider a small playground of size 6 metres by 4 metres, which might just be enough for a set of swings. To pay for the transformation of this mediocre patch of land Robinson’s would have to sell 600 x 400 = 240 000 bottles of juice. SERIOUSLY?
If Robinson’s sell nearly a quarter of a million bottles then they would have to cough up for the transformation of a patch on land into some swings and soft surface. I reckon this conversion would cost about £6000 (a severe guess but probably about right) and this represents a cost per bottle of 2.5p and given a profit margin of, say 40%, this means Robinson’s are laughing all the way to the shareholders’ meeting.

Essentially this is an ingenious piece of marketing and I think they should be congratulated. Well done Robinson’s. It looks like they are doing wonders for the community but in reality they are doing little.

A similar scam, sorry marketing ploy, was run by Pampers when they said that for each pack of nappies sold they would donate a single vaccination to UNICEF. This is marketing at its worst. Trying to make companies seem like they care when in reality they are just doing it to make more money (the basics of capitalism I know!).

If these companies were truly serious about changing playgrounds or helping vaccinate the world they would publish something along the following lines:

We have decided to turn ALL profits for one year over to XXXX charity so that they are able to further our combined missions to improve the health and well-being of the children of this fragile Earth.

If a company did volunteer ALL the profits from one product line then I would happily buy them over another but when it’s just part of the marketing campaign then be cynical.

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Mutiny?

Had a naughty thought last night. Having heard that DTM will be broadcast on ITV4 and if that coverage is any good and if it’s in HD and if Eurosport keep showing FIA WTCC then I might, just might, give up watching Formula 1.
I only have so much time to myself to watch these things and I try to drag myself away from F1 but keep going back to that mistress. I feel kinda sick just thinking about leaving. Mind you I only watch about half the races all the way through and trying to avoid the result is very tricky. Oh no, where is this argument going?
Right.
Let’s see what Hockenheim is like on ITV4. Then I’ll think about deserting again! More to follow. . .

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Published

In November 2009 I was moved to write a letter to the editor of Private Eye after the architecture critic, Piloti, suggested that living near electricity transformers was dangerous to human health. The letter was published and I have kept that copy of Private Eye for the future. Looking back through my emails it would appear that I have written to Private Eye 5 times. So that’s a 20% hit rate so far.

Sir,

I was disappointed to read that Piloti (Eye 1249) has reinforced the incorrect view that magnetic fields from electricity substations are a danger to health. There is no scientific evidence to link electricity substations with an increase of ill health. Piloti’s use of the specific term “radiation” only reinforces peoples’ prejudices against such structures. EM radiation covers everything from radio waves to X-Rays and beyond and does nothing to describe what is actually emitted. Should your excellent staff of humanities graduates want to further their knowledge I point you in the direction of: http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/factsheet/Risk/magnetic-fields

I shall, however, not be cancelling my subscription for this minor transgression.



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BBC Headline #8

Headline from the BBC website.

Scientists create “Dr Who sonic screwdriver”

This fails on the following levels:

Quotation in Headline
Extrapolation
Bull

Quotation in Headline
I’m pretty sure they used the quotation marks here to show that they “just made it up”. Having looked at the article the reference to Dr Who was made by one of the researchers who is obviously trying to get into the news cycle so he can keep his research grant. In reality it’s an ultrasound device that can turn objects under specific conditions not just make them move backwards and forwards as sound waves would normally do. Now this is very clever but I’m pretty sure that Dr Who doesn’t use an ultrasonic screwdriver. All the references in the shows are to a sonic screwdriver that is the biggest deus ex machina device I have seen and turned me off the show.

Extrapolation
The BBC writers researchers obviously got a little excited and decided that if they followed the technological line for a few thousand iterations then we could link this current device to the Doctor’s sonic screw driver. This is rubbish. It’s like saying that because cars have improved their fuel efficiency over the last decade we should be able to travel miles on a thimble of fuel some time in the future.

Bull
It’s just rubbish to suggest that this device is anywhere near a sonic screwdriver.

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Looking Forward to Watching

I am really looking forward to watching the following things with my children when they are old enough.

  • Star Wars episodes IV, V, VI
  • The Back To The Future trilogy
  • The Fifth Element
  • Star Trek films
  • Firefly – tv series
  • Akira
  • Battlestar Galactica

I hope they get the same enjoyment out of them that I have done for ages. The biggest problem is knowing when to introduce them to these wonders!

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BBC Headline #7

BBC headline from the iPhone app from a while ago (18 March 2012).

Neutrinos “slow down” in new test

This headline suffers the following issues:

Quotation in Headline
Oversimplification
Bull

Quotation in Headline
As I have demonstrated many times you can get any old crank to say any old shit and then put it in a headline. Heck, you could even ask the desk jockey next to you to say something and then include their quotation. “He has a double direction reversible torch to see daylight, he’s that far up his own arse” says industry insider!

Oversimplification
Science and the method of science doesn’t follow a simple narrative or allow for simplification of its ideas. The original neutrino results were released because the scientists wanted criticism of their experiment, not because they believed the results to be true. Now, after nearly a year, they are closer to understanding the problems with the original experiment and are ready to try again. One scientific result does not a whole new paradigm make.

Bull
The neutrinos NEVER went faster than the speed of light and so they can’t have slowed down!

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Snap Shot

Here is a snap shot of the skies above Essex on the Easter Monday of 2012. You might find this interesting, you might not. I don’t care.

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The picture is a screen grab from the iPhone Flight Finder app.

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Welcome Jase

Congratulations to Jase on becoming a trainee firefighter. Even better is his diary and blogosphere contribution [edit – no longer active].
Welcome, another member of the Fulham Five to the world of websites and blogging.

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April weather in Scotland

I swear on this day we had sun, snow, hail, rain and high winds. Talk about four seasons in one day! It probably does happen down south but it was just right for my second visit to bonny Scotland.

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Skeptical Pat

Just watched an episode of Postman Pat, or rather, just turned over and caught the last little bit. I was feeding son #2 rather than enjoying the stop-motion for myself. The episode was called Postman Pat and the Magic Lamp.
Now I’m going to have to guess what the story was about but I think the kids (all with ginger hair, Pat’s hair is ginger, you figure it out) found a lamp that they considered magic. I think they made wishes and then waited for them to come true. When Pat spoke to them he said:

Wishes only come true like that in books and stories. If you want something to come true then you have to work yourself to make it come true.

This is surely an excellent lesson, not only for children but also for every person on the planet. What a skeptical chap.

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What the son sees

This is what happens when you give a camera to a three year old. Eldest son took these while we were visiting family. I’m not going to give a commentary this is just what he finds interesting.

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Hawaii 5-O Part 2

I still really like watching Hawaii 5-O, see my previous post. The scenery is great, the colour filters used show Hawaii off to the best and the camaraderie between the characters is good. The tech is over the top, but I can actually live with that. There’s a problem now though.
I think they jumped the shark!
The latest episode that I watched had 5-O invade North Korea to rescue their leader. He’d been lured there by a double agent of Wo Fat who is the series’ lead baddy.
Seriously?
A group of rogue coppers and hang-ins fly a Huey (wrong war for that helo) into North Korea across the DMZ (the most heavily armed 100 miles in the world) and not only get there alive but successfully capture their top man and make it back!
For some reason I can cope with them hacking into any database or CCTV stream in the world but invading North Korea really launched them over the cartilaginous hunter with supreme success.
Going to keep watching for the next little while to see if they improve. If not then I have some episodes of Alcatraz recorded and ready to watch. Perhaps that will be better?

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Knowing your market

Getting together with companies who have the same customer base is a bonus for big business but needs careful arrangement. Never a clearer example:

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Possibly this photo also clearly shows an example of standard Scottish weather. Snow tonight!
I think this post clearly shows my growing snobbery towards certain things. Will have to reign that in, it doesn’t do good for a so called liberal to be a bit of a snob (except for universities).

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