Personal – Fooyah – Ian Parish

May 31 2026

Waterway Protections

For quite a while I had been interested in visiting Tilbury Fort, it’s got a gorgeous footprint and is close enough that it should be on the list of things to do. As the crow flies it’s not that far away, the problem is the River Thames is in the way and that means using the Dartford Crossing. This is a road route that is permanently congested, the queues are normally a few miles long and I don’t think I’ve ever really figured out why. The government are going to try and fix this by digging a new tunnel under the river further out from London, this is called the Lower Thames Crossing and I think it’s one of the largest infrastructure projects in Europe.

So, I went to the Fort and it was lovely. The weather was pretty good, warm but not overly sunny. I wandered around the buildings and looked at the views. There’s something quite fascinating about waterways. There were a number of ships nearby because Tilbury is a freight port. I do like the humming throbbing sound of engines that rumbles through the air and ground. I find it therapeutic.

While wandering Tilbury Fort I found out about another fort not too far away and so I decided I would head there after this place. Tilbury Fort was very interesting. It was used as a defence of the river along with another fort on the south bank of the river that could cover the entire waterway. The fort is no longer used as a garrison and some buildings had to be demolished because of bomb damage from the second world war but the gunpowder magazines still exist.

The magazines were very interesting as there has to be protections from sparks so everything inside was made from wood and rope. There was no ironworks around because of the risks of explosions. The doors were made from copper and workers in these places were not allowed to wear “outdoor” clothes. There were special clothes and footwear at the entrances to these places to reduce the risk of sparks. There were even separate tunnels for lights. These would be where candles and flames could be safely transported and then placed behind glass so they were insulated from the actual magazine. Very interesting.

Shortly after that I drove through some very interesting roads to get to Coalhouse Fort. This was also set up to defend London from attack by the river and it was another very interesting building. Some of the outhouses were used to check the degaussing of warships during the second world war. Ships were degaussed at Tilbury Docks but then checked as they headed out to sea using under river electrical tests. If they failed these then the ships were sent back.

While I was at Tilbury Fort I could hear what seemed like cars racing constantly. Initially I thought this was because “Essex” but it was so constant it couldn’t be racers rushing around the streets of Grays. Also, at times it sounded as though it was coming from over the river in Kent but because of the consistency of the noise I knew it couldn’t be boy racers. While driving to Coalhouse Fort I passed the construction sites for the Lower Thames Crossing and I’m pretty sure the engine noise I could hear was coming from there. The new tunnel will enter somewhere near Thong in Kent and appear between the two forts I visited. Maybe that will stop the eternal congestion? Personally I don’t think we should be building new roadway infrastructure because it will only encourage more traffic. What we need is massive investment in public transport so that people start ditching cars, but that’s just me – wanting to solve all the worlds’ problems.

May 30 2026

Backrooms

I nearly wanted to cancel this trip to the cinema. I was happy enough at home, wanting to play a PS5 game, and thought “I’m not interested enough in this film”. I’d booked the tickets ass something to do but I had already had adventures outside earlier in the day. At the moment I decided to cancel it was ninety minutes before the showing and it turns out cancelling is ok more than two hours before the showing so the only way to not go was to not go. I would have felt bad doing that so I went. The tide was very low as I drove along the esplanade. On the way home after the movie the tide was still low so I wonder if it was a special low tide? Ah, now it’s nearly full moon and so I think that means the tides are greater than normal, something I’ll look into.

After watching this film I rated it on IMDb. There is a system to the rating system and I explained that many years ago within this communication. I gave this film 4/10. But, the film was getting quite rave reviews, so I read a bit about it afterwards. I don’t think this changed my enjoyment of the film. To be honest I just don’t really care for horror films. Also, it turns out this film was made by some YouTuber person and that makes this the second film by an YouTuber I’ve seen recently, the other one was also a stupid horror type movie. The thing about horror movies is they portray events that can’t happen. There’s always some jump in the narrative that means supernatural stuff exists and that’s pure bullshit. Thinking about it now it’s curious that I love science fiction even though a lot of that can’t happen. I will spend some time thinking about this to create a position.

The theatre was quite full and that was nice although it was also irritating as there was more noise and movement than normal. I think I prefer the quieter screenings. Also, the audience skewed young but maybe that’s the YouTube thing happening. Maybe I’m the strange one for being this old and watching these films. Backrooms was the only film of vague interest I could even be bothered to watch – although I couldn’t really. Let’s cover the film:

Two losers get lost in a surreal world. This would have been interesting if it turned out to be quite mundane but I think the ending implication was that this world was some supernatural existence that was being investigated by a “dodgy” local company. There was quite a lot that wasn’t explained which I guess is to be expected with horror films and if there was an explanation then it wouldn’t be as scary. I don’t know why the extra-dimensional building needed to be “scary”. I think you could create an unsettling world without the chase and violence aspects of this film. Maybe I’m just old and grumpy, I don’t know. Right, the film wasn’t interesting, I didn’t care for either of the characters and some aspects seemed quite laboured. Film review done.

I was quite interested in the behaviour of some people in front of me. They were young. I’m not sure they were watching the film they seemed more interested in doing whatever else. One of this group of four was recording quite a lot of the film. This person was using their phone and sending lots of messages while also using an old style digital camera to film some parts of the film. I don’t think they were going to pirate the video because they couldn’t hold their camera still and it was only facing the screen most of the time, not all of it. I couldn’t figure out what this person was doing. While curious I was also aware that I’m an old fart and any intervention or questioning by me would be seen as a grumpy man interfering rather than the genuine curiosity I had. I found it strange behaviour worth of a film itself.

May 29 2026

Star Wars Jedi: Survivor

I’ve recently been getting into story based games on the PlayStation. So far I have played Horizon Zero Dawn and Hogwarts Legacy. I can only really play these during breaks from work because I find them so addictive and I love the exploring element. Sometimes the cut scenes are too long and I don’t care enough. I have a certain amount of time and I want to enjoy that doing things I like to the fullest – not watching some character building back story. Anyway, this game is fun and I thought I’d share a couple of screen shots I took.

Playing these sorts of games is like watching a film but being far more involved. They are growing on me.

May 27 2026

Star Wars: The Mandalorian And Grogu

I went to Rochester Cineworld Cinema to watch the latest Disney output concerning the Star Wars saga. At this moment I have to say I’m more influenced by a film I watched a few days ago on Prime called The Apple. A podcast I listen to “reviewed” this film and I decided to watch it before listening to the review. It was a glorious film, so delightful and wonderful, I even tolerated the fact that it’s a musical. On the way to the cinema the tide was low, also the mud looked strangely smooth and I wonder if that’s the result of it being so darn hot this week. It was 34C yesterday in these parts of the land. After watching a film at the cinema I rate it using a scale I devised when I started this website. I rated this film 8/10. I’ve stopped adding a picture to these communications as I actually couldn’t be bothered. There was a time when I was on Twitter and all the film scores were shared on Twitter and then embedded, but I left that cesspit.

I really enjoyed this film. It was good because it didn’t have much of the “force” bullshit in it. For similar stories see Rogue One which is probably the best Star Wars film and that doesn’t have any “force” stuff. This latest story was just good fun, rather derivative really, but it all worked. I do have some thoughts but I didn’t really think about writing this review when in the theatre so that’s a sign that the film was actually quite good.

On a grander social scale it amuses me that “seedy” entertainment and a sign of illegal happenings is the classic fight pit. In this film some dude runs a fight pit. I reckon people look on this as a barbaric form of entertainment and we tend to assume that it’s a form from Earth’s past, the Romans etc. It’s literally happening this week in front of the White House. Ahhh, so maybe it is a good predictor of illegal behaviour. When fighting other species why do humans always try to hit the head? When fighting drones and robots why do humans always hit the head? I think science fiction would be troubled if we ever met a species that doesn’t have its sensory and thinking equipment in the head. Why would a fighting robot have the processors in the head? You’d put them deep somewhere safe.

Overall I really enjoyed this film. It’s worth the watch.

May 25 2026May 25 2026

Chez Kane – The Underworld

It was one of the hottest days of the year (so far) when I took the train to Camden Town. I had options for travel and I could have tried a newer method into the big smoke parking at Greenwich North and then tubing it for the peninsula. On the day, though, I decided to stick to super fast travel from slightly closer to home and I used the Javelin train from Ebbsfleet. My thought process was mainly that the train was more likely to have air conditioning than the tube line and I could also walk from St Pancras to Camden and enjoy the sights and sounds of the city.

I was attending this gig because Dave, the photographer, had mentioned it. After a short perusal of videos on YouTube I decided it might be a laugh and Smith came along too. The Underworld itself was lovely and cool very much unlike when we saw Combichrist there a few years ago. The crowd was definitely older than most other gigs I have been to recently but that matched the music style really – 80 cock rock.

First band on were a local band made from regulars to the Underworld. Steff Voxx played pretty decent heavy rock. They seemed to be enjoying themselves and they played well together, just what you would expect with a bunch of seasoned rockers like that.

Star Circus were the second band on and they played a solid set. Pretty much all of the music would be described as “rock”. There wasn’t really much metal but I enjoyed their set. Also, the singer/guitarist was a lefty and I have to appreciate that. The bassist is the latest in a long line of female bassists I admire.

Headliners were Chez Kane. That is the name of the singer and the rest were “her band”. If you look at the picture and feel you’ve been transported forty years into the past then don’t worry. It really was like that. The songs had a warm 80s feel to them and Chez explained that she was deliberately keeping that sound going, the songs of the 80s inspired her and she loved it. I can’t argue with that. The whole evening was nicely enjoyable. I went home with songs by Kenny Logins and Vixen running through my head.

May 19 2026

Top Gun

So . . . . I went to the cinema. The local theatre seems to be showing a lot of old films as a tribute to those films, I don’t know if that’s a countrywide thing but I guess it makes sense and gets bums on seats. I recently went to see Highlander and although it was a terrible film it was also amazing. So, it’s forty years since Top Gun was released and the cinema had a showing. They also had a double bill of the two films but I didn’t want to spend that long at the cinema. I decided to miss the last half hour of the Nürburgring 24 hour race and I drove to the cinema.

Upon driving along the wharf I could see that the tide was lovely and high. The waves were lapping at the sea wall, the tips of greenery poked through the surface and the shopping trolley embedded in the mud was hidden. Everything looked good for the world. I did rate the film on IMDb as those are the rules but because this is a film I have owned in multiple formats I had to give it 10/10.

I have written before about how bad this film is. The first 4’06” are pure genius and cinematic glory. It was enjoyable to see this film on the big screen. The flying scenes sure look amazing and the F14 is a stunning aircraft. I will give a big shoutout to the F5 though as, while the F14 looks aggressive as hell, the F5 is sleek and pretty. In the film they pretend to be Mig-28s. If you ever want to know what plane is in a film then it’s always worth looking at the Internet Movie Plane Database. Also, whenever I see an aircraft I search its registration just to get an idea of where it’s been hired from.

So much of this film shows emotionally stunted men trying to grapple with life and flying. The amount of “macho” is pathetic. We have a bunch of people who are really unsure about their masculinity and so have to act as hard as possible. It is trite. The romantic interactions are so poorly written it borderlines on abuse. I know this was the 1980s but please, let’s try and create realistic characters.

The story is pretty bad.

But, there are aircraft and that’s lovely.

May 17 2026

The Christophers

I popped to the cinema yesterday to watch The Christophers. I had zero clue of what the film would be about. The tide was pretty low on the way in to the cinema but it turns out it was even lower when I got out of the building so maybe my tide-judgement is slightly flawed. After watching the film I rated it on IMDb and I gave it 6/10. I’m not going to post a picture of the rating, what’s the point? It’s just a thing that shows the score I’ve just told you.

This film was a delight. I really enjoyed it. The story was compelling, the acting was fabulous and overall it was just lovely. Well worth a watch. The only thing I didn’t like was James Cordon turning up a few minutes into the movie and I was startled. Overall an amazing film.

May 16 2026

JetClock Update

It’s just about been a week of owning my JetClock zero and there are updates to write about. Firstly, I bought a 7″ screen to display the data and it fits nicely on one of the bookshelves. Given the screen was quite cheap I was surprised at the quality. It works really well, had a decent menu to adjust settings, and can be powered via a USB C.

The JetClock Zero itself is set to turn the display off in the night time and will also restart itself at midnight to make sure it keeps updates and “fresh”. The colours of the display can be customised as can the details that the clock shows. I’m impressed with the settings that allow changing the direction of view so the clock can show aircraft only from the viewing angle that makes most sense. If I had a view of the sky from my workplace I would have one installed there and it would point to the aircraft in real life. As it is I have the JetClock to show all aircraft in a 30km radius and that works well. Although my view to the north is obscured slightly by the North Downs my southerly view is unimpeded and I often see aircraft head to land at Gatwick so the range on JetClock seems appropriate.

A good feature of the JetClock is the logbook which is a webpage that collates the data relevant to your position and clock. The clock itself doesn’t detect the aircraft it’s all done by a server somewhere, the same with the logbook. The image above is a summary of the first week of data collection and you can see I’ve had around 2,500 aircraft within viewing range of my house. I love the data this side of the JetClock produces. Very impressive.

I am fortunate (?) enough to live in the south east of the UK so I have aircraft launching themselves from the following largeish airports:

Heathrow
Gatwick
Stansted
Southend
London City

For the smaller aircraft I have Rochester and Headcorn reasonably close so get lots of little planes. For the medium aircraft I am directly under the flightpath for Biggin Hill so I will get plenty of private jets and also a bunch of Spitfires. Occasionally I get a flypast from a Chinook or Apache as there are a few helicopter landing sites in Kent. This is a pretty good place for spotting.

May 9 2026

JetClock

I think I originally saw this product on Reddit. There’s a load of aviation geekery on that site and the JetClock turned up. Plenty of people have made their own aircraft indicator displays but of those I’d seen JetClock is the nicest and best looking. I knew I’d probably get one but waited for the right time. The company recently increased their product range to include a version without a display and also an Android app.

I bought the JetClock Zero as this seemed the most versatile version. I could use it on an existing display or I could buy my own screen if I wanted. Yesterday it arrived and the packaging was super nice. I don’t generally care for “unboxing” but the fact that the cables were in a reusable bag and the device itself was in a sealed bag made the whole experience really nice. It took a few minutes to set up the JetClock Zero but that was painless. I like the fact I can change the settings via a web-page but I am slightly concerned that the company aren’t asking for a subscription, I hope they’ve really thought that out.

Today I have ordered a 7″ display so that I can have the JetClock running permanently and on display. I know I want to put it in the lounge but I haven’t quite decided where and how it should be fixed yet. That’s some work to look forward to.

The Logbook is a lovely addition to the device. It’s an online database of aircraft that the JetClock has “detected”. The device doesn’t detect aircraft itself but relies on a server somewhere knowing the position of the JetClock and providing data to be displayed. I already have a Raspberry Pi in the loft that feeds aircraft data to an aggregation service and I have written about that extensively on this site. Below is an image of the logbook output:

I get pretty pictures of aircraft with the world map showing the routes my JetClock can see. I live in the south east of the UK and so aircraft are very common because of travel to and from London and also because the UK happens to lie on a line of the great circle from Europe and South West Asia to the USA. Another bonus for me is that Biggin Hill isn’t far away and plenty of smaller jets fly into there. I’m also sure that at some point over the weekend there will be a Spitfire popping over towards the White Cliffs.

JetClock has a “rarity” score for aircraft. I’m not sure you could do a lot to increase the likelihood of seeing these unless you take your clock with you as you go around spotting. As you can see within 24 hours of set up I’ve already had a plane with rarity of 100. Just as I was writing this I heard an A400 fly over and I’m a little disappointed that its score is only 52! Maybe I’ll do better with the AN-22 that fly over a couple of times a week!

This device is great. Super easy to set up. The customisation options are brilliant and it gives me all the information I could want. Highly recommend.

May 8 2026

Smash Into Pieces – Electric Ballroom, Camden

I spent a school night recently in the big smoke. I took a train from Ebbsfleet International Station to north-ish London and then tubed it to Camden Town. The reason for travel was to watch a few bands at the Electric Ballroom. I had a nice, but expensive, burger for dinner. I also bought two drinks and that came in at more than GBP20 in The Worlds’ End, I know I’m old but this seemed very expensive, I miss the days of drinks in the Officers’ Mess. The Electric Ballroom was a new venue to me and I liked it. There was plenty of space, the bars were large and one of them was sheltered around a corner, you could escape easily.

First up were Dark Divine, a band from Florida which isn’t their fault I guess. I enjoyed their music. The singer was a good frontman and worked the crowd well. They genuinely seemed to be enjoying themselves. The music was standard metal. The usual singer with a good voice doing growly stuff and the guitarist sand the deep growl. The lead singer was chatty with the crowd and really seemed to be enjoying the whole show so that was nice.

Second band was Enemy Inside which was our main reason for attending this gig.

I enjoyed their show. I felt it was, again, pretty standard metal. It was good fun although part way through I needed to move to the bar so I could rest my back. The damn muscles in my lower back have been painful for about two weeks now and standing watching a show was not helping. Enemy Inside were good enough for me to seek out their music on iTunes and pay for some albums. I’ll put it on when I’m working.

The headliners were Smash Into Pieces. Smith and I weren’t that bothered about watching them but we stayed for a couple of songs. To be honest it was nice to have an evening out and still get home at a sensible time which meant I wasn’t absolutely fucked for work the next day. Yes, I understand that makes me old, but that’s where we are in this life so far.

Smash Into Pieces seemed reasonably heavy to start. The guitars were pretty cool. But I have some observations. . . . The drummer wears a mask – whoopee do, seen it before. Some people in the crowd thought it was really cool. I didn’t care particularly. The light show was pretty cool with lasers and shit, again the youngsters seemed impressed. The singers voice was really weird. I did not like it. It grated. I listened to some songs when I got home to see what the rest of their produce was like and it was a lot more keyboardy and less heavy. The singers voice still grated and that’s a big no-no for me. It’s a bit like Muse – I’ve tried to listen to their stuff, really tried and I should like it – but I can’t cope with the voice. This band’s live voice was not good. Maybe he’s having a bad night but it was poor.

Overall, I had a good evening. Good company, Smith, nice food in my current dieting time of life and a couple of bands I really enjoyed in a new venue, in bed before midnight. Worth it.