Ahh. British engineering and design. Mine at last.
Hawaii 5-O
This re-imagined TV show is brilliant.
A friend, Jase, really likes CSI Miami and I have tried to watch it but find it extremely clichéd. CSI Miami is poorly scripted, it is poorly shot and poorly acted (apart from Emily Procter). However, Jase finds something to enjoy and thoroughly raves about it.
I now understand what he means. Hawaii 5-O is poorly scripted, reasonably acted and extremely clichéd. The scenery is brilliant. The technology used is rubbish. The actors are glamorous and the plot appalling. I love it.
I vaguely remember the original series, watching it with my dad when I was younger. I do not remember whether it was any good. I am worried that if I went and watched the original series it would be like seeing 1980s Dr Who or Blakes 7. In my mind these shows are brilliant but if I was to see them I know I would be disappointed. I have recently seen some episodes of Space 1999 and it is amazingly dated!
5-O is shot in Hawaii and makes the islands look fantastic. It is a brilliant advert for a visit. I can’t help feeling that Hawaii is somewhat wasted on the Americans! The actors are very glamorous and include members of the cast of Lost (good early on) and Battlestar Galactica (all good). The premise of immunity of the 5-O crew is somewhat bothersome for a humanist, but a brilliant plot device. The relationship between the main two characters is well scripted with them arguing like a married couple. I love them driving between crime scenes for the discussions they have. The idea that a police group can hack into any bank account, any phone account, utilities, CCTV system or triangulate a mobile signal is rather far fetched but I guess some of the population believe it.
This show is a great find and well worth watching as it is brain dead TV. It takes no brain power to watch but entertains.
Octonauts
The kid’s tv show Octonauts is brilliant. Let me explain.
Most other children’s shows have something wrong with them. A character or object or plot device which pushes the boundaries of imagination too much, here are some examples:
Bob the builder: a scarecrow that is alive, the character Spud. I’m fine with the vehicles talking and being able to drive themselves but a sentient scarecrow is too much.
Postman Pat: the village has a much higher proportion of ginger kids than anywhere in real life, apart from occasional villages in Scotland. Also these kids all seem to have colds and so speak with blocked nasal passages. Perhaps all these children were fathered by Pat.
Postman Pat SDS: Pat is turned from a competent postman to the world’s most incompetent delivery man. If something can go wrong it does. The economic model for this type of delivery is unsustainable.
Chuggington: a world of sentient trains doesn’t bother me too much but there are some physics issues. The trains get washed by resting on tracks that then turn the train longitudinally so it ends up being horizontal, not good. Another problem is the small train which can extend on a cantilever and turn its body to face the other way, don’t like this. I am quite happy with the flying train though.
Everything’s Rosie: the characters are annoying and whinge a lot. The carts they drive around in have no appreciable power source and don’t slow going up hill. Although I’m happy with Oakly who can speak I don’t like the female speaking tree, Saffy, as she just spouts Eastern mystical bollocks all the time.
Mr Bloom’s Nursery would be ok if it didn’t have the talking, singing, moving vegetables with faces. Surely there is enough excellent entertainment and learning that can be garnered from a gardening show that doesn’t need anthropomorphised vegetables. The McGregors are particularly annoying.
So back to the Octonauts . The main characters are animals who talk and are curiously the same size. They don’t wear ballast and have magic “field tech” helmets. The Octopod would need to be pressurised a huge amount for the depths they travel to and they even have Tunip, a half vegetable half animal called a vegimal. Somehow all of this is acceptable as the stories are excellent and consistent and it just looks marvellous. All the creatures the Octonauts find are real and look, act and eat the way they do in real life. Marvellous.
I think it’s one of the best things on TV at the moment.
Explore, Rescue, Protect.
TV volume settings
This post is based on a tweet. Perhaps this’ll happen more often. I find something pithy to mention and then I’ll expand upon it in a blog post.
My wife was changing the TV volume the other day and making sure she could see the number it was set on (the amp is perpendicular to where we sit, so quite hard to read). I asked whether she was being fussy about what volume the amp was on. No, was the reply, you are the fussy one.
This is correct as I would prefer the TV volume (actually the amp volume) on either a multiple of 2 or 5. Given that for normal TV viewing the ideal volume is somewhere between 20 and 30 this gives plenty of choice: 22,24,25,26,28. The other volume settings are incorrect to use and even if they create the best listening conditions I would find it hard to settle on one of those.
I do not consider this to be weird behaviour, I consider it to be remarkably sensible although I would probably end up with many logical fallacies should I attempt to explain how this obsessiveness can be justified.
A friend will only get out of bed if, when he looks at the alarm clock, it is a multiple of 5 minutes. If not he will stay in bed until the next multiple. Now that’s weird!
The worst waiting room
I’d like to know if there are worse but the waiting room I am currently sitting in is pretty poor. A row of chairs placed against the wall in what can only be described as a corridor, probably because it is a corridor.
I don’t think there are any magazines or books. The only entertainment is trying to guess why people are here. The noises of muffled chatter, trollies laden with removals going by and clacking over the bumps between tiles along the floor aren’t enough to keep my Internet crazy brain entertained. Just to add to potential humiliation the corridor isn’t off the beaten track either. It’s the route to the three main treatment areas. I’d often walked past these chairs and wondered about what it feels like to sit there. Now I know.
I have to sit up. If I slouch then the people walking along the corridor will have to walk single file, I can’t even cross my legs as my foot would stick out too far and inconvenience a great many people who gave business further along the way.
I’m keeping my head down and typing this to pass the time. Ignoring all that pass. A quick glance along the line of bored patients indicates they have the same tactic as me. There are no posters to wonder about, no collections of leaflets and no flyers for made-up alternative treatments just three tone walls (I kid you not).
I’m going to read a book on the Kindle app. That might pass the time. Could do with a coffee too. Let’s discover the crazy of the Congo with Mister Kurtz!
More adventures!
It turns out I’m pretty tired and reading or playing on the iPhone are out as I’ll fall asleep. I’ve just realised my chair doesn’t even have arms I can rest on. The chairs either side of me have arms and I’m sandwiched starting to feel as though I’ve paid economy. I can’t lean forwards, backwards or take my elbows from my sides.
It looks like the appointment is going to be delayed. All the people before me haven’t been in and I’m losing the will to live.
Talk Talk Part 2
So, judgement day has come and not yet fully passed. The phone and broadband were both switched to Talk Talk today. I was expecting trouble and phone calls to their Helpline but in all honesty it went really well.
I turned the router/modem off this morning and by the time I got home after work (I’m a teacher so it was early) the phone and broadband account had changed. The biggest problem was getting the new settings to save in the router. Rather embarrassing really as I couldn’t find the “save and reboot” button in the router web-interface.
Didn’t want to use the Talk Talk router as it looks rubbish and I like the idea of configuring my own router.
Move router to the dining room and now “electronic corner” has a little less heat emitted, might make the lounge a bit more comfortable as there’s no natural fresh air flow.
Well done Talk Talk, hope your up-time proves just as good.
How to eat an apple
Apart from using a knife (or not) and cutting up an apple I can think of predominantly two ways of eating an apple. This does matter because one way is correct and the other is not so correct.
Circumferential or the Segment method?
A circumferential eater will take a bite, rotate the sphere using the core as the axis and take another bite. This will result in a curve of apple exposed around the great circle of the apple. Then another line of bite is taken from each end (assuming that the eater has a big enough mouth to bite to the core)
A segmental eater takes bites out of the apple from stalk to opposite pole. This results in a segment being eaten and then the apple being rotated to start the process again.
The problem is exposure of the flesh of the apple to the air to turn brown and this needs to be minimised. In the segment method the area exposed for significant time is constant. For the circumferential method the area exposed increases with time.
Which leads to:
The analysis shows that if your bite radius is greater than 0.140 of the radius of the apple then you should eat in segments. Apart from small mammals the bite radius is going to be more than 14% of the apple radius, unless there is a huge apple variety waiting to be discovered.
This post was necessary because every time I eat an apple my wife tells me I am eating it the wrong way.
Flowers
See, it’s nice down South! Another dog walk another lovely view. Probably going to rain in a bit.
Talk talk
My change over to Talk Talk for phone and broadband is about to happen on Monday. I’m bothered as I’ve been with Plusnet for years although changing provider has meant I had to go out and got my own web domain and space.
The free wireless router arrived today. It’s very close now but I think I’ll just configure my own router. The only improvement would be wireless range and I get 3G in the garden so what do I care? Also the new box would have to be moved to a different position to fit in “electronic corner”. Don’t like the talk talk colour. So D-Link router it is with no reception in the garden. Could move it and connect PS3 wirelessly, will think about that.
Main concerns at moment. Will they screw up my phone line and will the broadband work properly on Monday. New settings easy so it should be a breeze.
All this to save money! Sky don’t have the package I wanted so they’ll have to wait for more of my money.
Time Consuming
Just managed to upload the parish website version 2. This was started in about 2004 and then I had a re-imaging in about 2010. There’s quite a but there. I was really proud of it and like the colour scheme. Some pictures are missing and I doubt I’ll find them as I changed computers in that time, whoops.
Link here.
It brings back some wonderful memories and what you can do when you have the time and aren’t running around after two kids.