Borderlands

I went to see this film, Borderlands, at the Vue cinema in Thanet. I have no idea of the tide even though I was surrounded on three sides by water but this was an early evening showing of the film. I knew it had been panned in reviews but the trailer still made me want to see it.

It’s rather tricky to embed an IMDb score these days since I left Twitter so I will just tell you that I rated this film a 6/10. There’s a whole communication where I explain the scoring system.

I quite enjoyed the film. I liked the look of it. The story could have been better within the film, the overall plot was good it was just poorly executed. I would not watch it again but I was happy to have seen the film.

Twisters

Yesterday I went to the cinema to see Twisters. I went to my “usual”, Rochester Cineworld, even though it’s in Strood and over the river from Rochester. After the film I rated it on IMBD using my rating system which you should read.

Twisters (2024) on IMDb

Look, I guess I’m meant to write what I thought about the film. It was alright. I guess it did what it said on the tin. Did I spend most the movie worrying about the relationship between a woman who looks 18 and a man who looks 40? Yes I did.

Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes

I went to see a film at the Cineworld cinema in Rochester yesterday. As we drove alongside the river I noticed that the tide was very low. I really should, at some point, learn about spring and neap tides, or at least the timing of them. I understand why they occur I’ve just not investigated when they occur. After the film I rated this on IMDB. You should see the ratings system on within this communication. I can’t get the code to share my rating because it used to be on Twitter and I left that hellhole many years ago. So, below is the average user rating from IMDB. I rated this film 6/10.

Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes (2024) on IMDb

I didn’t hate this film. I didn’t really love it either. It kept my interest for its entire 135 minutes runtime. I did find myself constantly thinking why apes were the main characters and whether this film would be any different had all the cast been “human”. If it was set as ginger haired people against the rest of the world would it have made a difference? Is it ok to watch this as the apes being lead characters makes it ok rather than problematic. I do get that the whole premise is apes rule the world. That makes sense. But this was just a film with characters and their development. Maybe people wouldn’t see it if this was a human based story.

I quite liked it I guess. I am still thinking about it and I guess that makes it a good thing. However, I am thinking more about an episode of Dr Who, 73 yards, and trying to get my head around that more than I am this film. Like, why was the name of that episode in imperial units? Couldn’t they have made it 73 metres. There are bigger issues with that episode and so I will have a look online to see if there are answers.

Dune: Part Two

I went to the Cineworld cinema at Rochester to watch this film. It was a wet, murky, dank day. The tide was high with ripples tickling the wharf, the river looked imposing. After watching this film I rated it on IMDB and in the past I would have tweeted my result, but I don’t to Twitter anymore so I’ll just have to write the result here, and it’s a shocker, I gave this film 4/10.

Dune: Part Two (2024) on IMDb

I think I probably need to explain my rating, especially as I rated part one very highly. This film looks absolutely amazing. The cinematography is gorgeous and I reckon you can take any part of this film, put it in a frame on your wall and be proud. The film looks serious and sumptuous. The sound is excellent, I would have liked more bass-vocalisation stuff like the sentence at the very opening of the film, but it was so good I considered buying the soundtrack.

I think my problem is the story. And possibly Chalamet being not a great actor. And possibly an inability to tell two of the actors apart. And possibly the sexism, I don’t know. Maybe this should be rephrased to say that the problem is the story. I don’t think it’s my problem. Let’s start with the easy point.

We get introduced to the Emperor’s daughter, she may have been in the first film, I’m not sure. This lady is being manipulated by the Bene Gesserit to do their bidding and to work towards the “grand plan”. Shortly after her introduction we see a lady with very similar features discuss with the Bene Gesserit about how she seduced the Harkonnen nephew and that a daughter is assured. For most of this film I thought the pregnant woman was the emporer’s daughter and I found it quite confusing. From looking at IMDB there were two actresses playing different people.

There will be people saying this story has strong female characters but to me they were all witches whispering in the background to get the future they want. The men had all the power. Men are celebrated. Women work in the background and do their things sneakily, not out in the open and by fighting. This isn’t a positive look for the women of this film, it conforms to stereotypes.

The lessons from this film are that to maintain power and have freedom you have to be a man who fulfils prophecy and marries for political reasons rather than love. Oh, and you have to be as macho as fuck and kill your opponents in hand-to-hand combat. I hated the aspects of this film that glorified the feudal systems in society. My problem is that we still live in a feudal society where the rich and powerful maintain that money and power by giving the masses “democracy”. Yes, we vote. But money speaks and until we have a society where everyone has the same chances from birth and we actually care for each other then I will find these stories of power ridiculous and enraging.

Prophecy is a poor writing technique. It means that you can only succeed in life if everything is pre-destined. This is how the powerful like us to believe the world works. There is no caring about people in this type of society. There is no “working to be successful”, there is only pre-destiny. I hate this type of writing. I hate this type of story. I understand why people do it, but it’s bollocks. Don’t have your main character being born under the fifth moon of the year, have them actually work for it, have them call out the belief bollocks and have them care about people. In this film we see Paul turn from being a rich brat into a rich brat with an army of religious fanatics (mirroring Bin-Laden?). He is still a privileged twat who forgoes love for power and macho-kudos.

This film, nay story, envelopes everything that is wrong with current society and our mostly European views of history. Kings, Dukes, powerful Houses. Deference through birth right. Power through duels. Mating for politics. Using the poor as your army through religion. All of these things are bollocks. It left me cold. It left me wanting to tear down the fabric of our society and show people how they flock around their leaders as if we owe them something.

I have found a review of this film that resonates with me and I have ended up with the review in Private Eye. Issue 1619. Find it, read it. It makes sense.

Argylle

I went to the cinema to watch the film Argylle. There wasn’t much else on and although I wasn’t that bothered about seeing it, the film was the best choice possible. The Cineworld cinema at Rochester is alongside the river Medway and this part of that river is tidal. For a reason lost to time this is important as I now mention that the tide was low when we arrived at the cinema. I could see all of the mud banks at the side of the river. It was a lot higher when we left and travelled home.

After watching the film I rated it on IMDB and there’s a system for the ratings, you should read that here. I used to then tweet the result when I was on Twitter but I left that platform when Musk took over. It had already descended into a whirlpool of the worst of mankind and I’m glad I left because there’s only so much hate I can tolerate. I rated this particular film 4/10. It was a borderline 6 but it didn’t hold my attention enough and I only thought the film was worth watching for one particular scene.

Argylle (2024) on IMDb

This film was just about ok to watch. There were many plot “twists” along with many time when I wasn’t really following what was happening or who to trust. This was a Hollywood film and so it all ends up very happy. I’m not sure if I’d recommend this to other people, maybe only if they have a little time to waste and don’t mind a silly film.

My one recommendation is that everyone watch the scene where the two lead characters shoot their way out of the evil lair. The use of smoke in this scene was inspired and it looked amazing. It’s well worth watching that scene alone, but you don’t need the rest of the film that surrounds it.

Wonka

So, yesterday the Legend and I took a trip down to Ashford to watch the new Wonka film. Why Ashford? To experience the 4DX cinema there; moving seats and jets of air and water. I would normally use this section to explain what state the tide was in but as we didn’t drive near any tidal waters I can not. I guess I could look it up but what’s the point in that?

I rated this film on IMDb and I gave it six out of ten. For more information on the rating system please read this communication.

Wonka (2023) on IMDb

So, I enjoyed the film. I was a little put off at the beginning when there was singing and this turned out to be a musical but I coped quite well with that I think. The overall look and feel of the film was in keeping with previous versions and the story worked really well. The fact that this was written by part of the Ghosts team and it also had some amazing British actors in it meant that overall it was an excellent film.

As with previous 4DX experiences I think a good film doesn’t need the gimmick. It’s fun to experience now and then but I wouldn’t make it my usual cinema experience.

Godzilla Minus One

Well, this has been a while. I can’t even remember the last film I saw at the cinema so this review will probably not follow the standard procedure. I can tell you that I observed the tide on the way to the cinema and the tide was low. I could see all the mud banks along the Medway. As is customary I scored this film on IMDB and because I have deleted my twitter account I can no longer place those shared scores on this as an embedded picture. So, I rated this film 8/10 and you should read the scoring system here. I am able to share the average review score:

Godzilla Minus One (2023) on IMDb

So, now to the review. I find it curious that Cineworld emailed me to let me know this film was subtitled. When I checked with them before they said it stops people moaning at them once they realise they have to read actual words. There was a small child in the cinema and I don’t think they could read well and they got bored and made some noises throughout the film, but then that’s not really their fault, the parents should have been more thoughtful about their child’s experience.

I really enjoyed this film. I really liked the placement in time and place. End of the war Japan, which is when Godzilla first appears. The politics was very interesting and I think it’s interesting to see the burnt out results of Tokyo following the bombing by the USA. The overall story was fantastic, if a little sentimental, but it showed the social conventions and character development over time. The human story was, as ever, really important to the story and the monster is almost a by-product.

The fight scenes were great and I really enjoyed every aspect of this film. I will watch it again, but I’m not sure I’d pay money to do so, hence this film scores an 8. This is a good film.

The Studio Experience

The Legend and I went for a tour around the Harry Potter studios near Watford in the recent past and I thought I would add my impressions of the place here.

Welcome To The Office
Welcome To The Office

It was a hot day when we travelled and I was very glad that there was some form of cooling system in the buildings. Our tour started at a particular time with some small talks and a grand entrance to the Hogwarts dining room hall. I was impressed and the production and direction was impressive. They did shove us out of the hall quite quickly but I had seen enough of it by then. None of the staff were rude, they were all remarkably upbeat and chipper.

Being able to see the movie sets used in the real films was really quite amazing. I really liked the Great Hall. Some of the smaller sets were really interesting and to see the level of detail that the prop makers had achieved was amazing. Every book had proper writing all the way through and all flasks were labelled etc. Absolutely amazing.

There were plenty of animatronic beasts lurking around and the detail and complexity that went into all the beasts was second to none. I was reminded of how much effort and planning goes into making a movie like this. After the script based on a book you then have all the art work that helps make the creations come true. After the development art work there’s more development and making the animals, sets and costumes. Then there’s the main act of filming it all.

Hogwarts School Of Wizardry
Hogwarts School Of Wizardry

It was a curious site to see the sets built up and looking remarkably real inside but then noticing that the outside is just scaffolding with wood work. Such a simple background to a complex interior. Of the large sets on display the interior of Gringots Bank, I think, was the one that I was most impressed with. A magnificent sight of marble (fake), gold (fake) and dragons (fake). Diagon Alley was recreated along with Kings Cross Station Platform 9 3/4. The whole tour is a very impressive sight. To see these places in reality was like those dreams when you are just waking up, seemingly real and unreal at the same time.

Men

I had a small window of spare time today and so I went to the cinema to watch “Men”. There are details I need to enter before we get to my review. First the tide was nearly full. I couldn’t tell if it was waxing or waning but it was close to high. Also, the M2 eastbound was at a standstill and I don’t know what that was about but I hope that people are safe. I didn’t travel that way as I don’t like having to go to the top of the Downs just to get back down the other side. I used the “new” bridge which has probably been in place for many years now. After the film I rated it on IMDB and there’s a page that covers the rating process here. Then, I tweeted the result:

Earlier today I had tried to screen grab a walk around of the new Minecraft base but the screen recording wasn’t working properly so I’m a little miffed by that. Perhaps I’ll try again tomorrow. I think what I’m trying to do is delay writing what I thought about the film. The problem is I don’t know what I thought about the film. I genuinely spent the last twenty minutes wondering what the fuck it was that I was watching. I wonder if the film was trying to be too clever, although having read the Kermode review in The Guardian I think my interpretation was in line with theirs. I think I’m reminded of Mother but less so, as I didn’t mind this particular film.

I might come back and write some more at another point but honestly at the moment I don’t think I have anything else to add.

This Made My Day

The other day when I went to see Top Gun Maverick it was a special showing for cadets and staff of Kent Wing ATC. We were invited and so I took some cadets. Being in a theatre with other like minded people was brilliant as we watched the film. But, the best bit was that before the film we had a personal message from Tom Cruise. Now, I’m involved with the Combined Cadet Force and traditionally they are based at private schools although my school has been state run since just after the second world war [not sure if that should be capitalised!]. Our cadets were the only CCF cadets there but we are still part of the Royal Air Force Air Cadets and are based in Kent. Although our direct command chain doesn’t quite follow the Wing structure it was still great to get this message.