JCBFan – Fooyah – Ian Parish

April 12 2026

Orchard Battle

A few days ago I went to Dartford – somewhere I’d not been before – and spent some time with Jock and their family at the theatre. Dartford seemed a curious place, the railway station building was very curvy and pretty, the car park for the station was not on any road signs but was reasonably priced for the evening. The road to the station passed next to one of the platforms and it seemed a little strange for the train to be right next to the road. I was visiting the Orchard Theatre as Jock’s son was in a battle of the bands there. The theatre was pretty much next to the station but as we approached it had scaffolding and was cordoned off. We walked around the building following the signs for the entrance and didn’t find one. We walked around the building twice. There were definitely arrows pointing in a particular direction so we were following the correct route.

After two complete circuits of the building and no entrance found a local asked us if we were looking for the theatre, yes, we replied. It’s over there and he pointed to what looked like an industrial park. Not far away we could see a marquee style tent and a small banner saying Orchard Theatre. It turns out that while works are being done on the actual theatre the whole organisation had moved to a temporary location in a tent. To be honest, it was quite well done and there was plenty of seating, toilets and a bar, you know, all the usual theatre stuff. We met Jock and his family and then proceeded to the auditorium to watch the battle commence.

The first three bands were under 18s and then after the first break it was the grown ups turn. The first band, Kaira, were a thrash metal band and I’m not sure that the audience was ready for them. I didn’t recognise their songs but I did like their style of music. Next up was Blacktone, They played some great songs and really looked like they were enjoying it, the singer was super excited! The final youth band was Wishbone, who played indie music with some excellent close harmony vocals – it wasn’t my kind of stuff but they did well struggling through some technical difficulties. We all voted for Blacktone.

Of the adult bands I think the first band, One Hash Brown, were musically the best. They seemed to have quite an indy sound and it wasn’t my style of music but they did well. The middle band were called The Resolve and they genuinely looked like a middle-aged divorced dads band. They played some classics and were well polished. The final band, Cabin Pressure, played well but again, it wasn’t my style of music.

Of the younger bands, Blacktone won and will now have that excellent ego boost and the chance to spend some time in a recording studio. I’m glad they won. The Resolve won the adult part of the competition and as they played the best crowd pleasers I’m sure they deserve it. I’m sure all the other bands will go on to do good things. It’s great to see such talent and musicians trying to make it in the tough music business.

April 3 2026

ABK

I short while ago I went to the Hazlitt Theatre in Maidstone to see Alasdair Becket-King perform his show King Of Crumbs. I really enjoyed it. I found his humour lovely with many callbacks. He coped with a “mildly irritating” but “excitable” person in the front row really well. I know one of the sons found this person annoying but that’s just how life goes I think. I didn’t mind particularly. The show wasn’t that long, coming in at about an hour and twenty. The coordination between ABK and the lights and computer imagery was really impressive, it was a well rehearsed show.

It’s a shame to live in Kent at the moment with its reputation of being full of racists, which I guess it is. ABK asked about that after a lefty joke and he was assured that the theatre was friendly people who care and not full of the Kent stereotype. It’s not great that the county is tarred by those who are most vocal.

Great show.

November 24 2025

The Running Man (2025)

I went to see this film recently. I went to the cinema at Rochester (really Strood) and I noted that the tide was indeed quite high as I drove along the esplanade. I did rate this movie on IMDb but there is a trick rating system which is covered in this communication. In days gone by I would tweet the result of my rating, but all I can do now is say that it is a 6/10.

This film was perfectly enjoyable. There’s some grossness in the killings, a few bits of humour here and there and it looks pretty amazing. I wouldn’t go any further than that really. For me, the political message is more important and I know this is based on a book but the messaging hasn’t really changed in the forty years since the original film. Large media organisations do not have our interests at heart and they are corrupt.

I had some issues with the main character. He’s very quick to violence and it’s played as though he’s just angry. I’m not sure he’s a good character to have as the lead. But, when the revolution comes we will need a figurehead and I guess someone like that would work well. Also, I guess the chap is angry at the injustice and inequality in the world so maybe that makes it better. Remember people, government should be for the people.

August 31 2025

Mach Loop And Things

I spent some time with my offspring in Wales over the summer. We wanted to go see metal birds flying close to the ground and so took ourselves to the Mach Loop. The Mach Loop or LFA7 is a designated low flying area for military aircraft in Wales. There is an area where they can go lower than 250 feet and that’s called LFA7(T), the T is for tactical but that is slightly south of the Mach Loop. A lot of people think the Mach Loop is so called because of how speed relative to the local speed of sound is measured in Mach, but that is not the case. The Mach Loop is named for the town at one of the entrances to the loop: Machynlleth.

The first day of the trip was to drive to Wales and set up camp. Two Texans flew over at relatively low altitudes and that was nice. We were camping near the town of Dolgellau. Dolgellau looks quite large on the map and perhaps it is large for a Welsh town. It’s at the confluence of some A roads and on a river. The town itself has a few pubs, some restaurants and a single Co-Op. It’s very pretty.

The first full day in Wales we drove to Machynlleth to see what it was like and have breakfast. I booked some tickets for a tour of a mine and we headed to Castel y Bere which was marked on road signs. It was the ruins of a castle but it was such a lovely setting, miles from anywhere, sitting in a valley overlooking the lands, no phone signal, dodgy roads. “One of the most beautiful places I’ve been” was a comment from one of our party (not me). Driving to our afternoon activity we stopped briefly by Llyn Mwyngil for some photographs and then reached our destination of Corris. We had a tour of the old Corris slate mine – it was lovely and cool, the outside was pretty hot. The Barmouth called and we headed there. There was a pedestrian and railway bridge across the mouth of the river and so we walked on that.

Once we were bored of this view, which took quite a while we walked back over the bridge. A train came over the bridge which was pretty exciting. Then we headed back to the campsite via the Penmaenpool Toll Bridge, a wooden bridge crossing the river and one that I had to pay for the privilege of using.

The following day was a trip to what could be the place we use to see metal birds flying. I had studied maps and there are a couple of places that are suitable for observers. We had driven past one on the way to the campsite originally so this time we walked up the hill to get to know where we were going. It was a Sunday and so there was no chance of anything being in the air but it was good to check out the land before we actually did try and see planes. Then we went to the Dovey Valley Shooting Ground for a go at clay pigeon shooting. We also had lunch here. The less said about the clay shooting the better. I am a rifle target shooter and not particularly good at shooting flying clays (terrible actually).

The following daylight hours were spent driving to Llanberis, walking up Snowdon, walking down Snowdon and then driving back to the campsite. I couldn’t get parked to be able to walk the Pyg Track so Llanberis seemed the best chance. We also didn’t have the best clothing or footwear to be doing super adventurous routes up the mountain so the safest and busiest route seemed best. The weather was super sunny and clear pretty much all the way up the mountain, but for the forth time the summit was in cloud and I couldn’t see far. We ate at the café and I had a beer. Lots of people were coming up by train and then queuing to take a photo at the trig point at the absolute top of the mountain. It was a good achievement to walk to the top.

After a good night’s sleep we wanted to see Harlech Castle and so drove there. The closest car park was super busy with idiots trying to manoeuvre their massive cars to get out, so we drove past and looked at another car park. But, this one was down quite a hill and all of us decided that walking up a hill was not on the plan for a few hours and so we left. We had lunch at Llyn Trawsfynydd overlooking a couple of disused nuclear reactors. After that we went to watch metal birds. We parked at the crest of the road pass through the valley and climbed a little to a place known as Blywch. To be honest I think Blywch is just a word for “crest” or similar but in terms of birdwatching that’s what this place was known as. It was quite windy up the top and we found crevasses to sit and wait. There were other people up there and they had radios and aircraft trackers and all sorts so we spent our time listening to what they were saying.

It took two hours of waiting and so false starts with aircraft not quite making to our spot – we saw a Phenom in the distance. Then we had four F15s fly by, probably the same two twice. Then there were two Typhoons and a single Hawk. This was well worth it. The RAF planes were flying below us!

Our final day of being away from Kent involved us packing up and driving home. We did stop off for a little while at the RAF Museum at Cosford and we walked around enjoying the sites, but I think we all just wanted to get back to relax!

August 24 2025August 22 2025

I Found One In The Wild

Every time I see an aircraft type that I know I have flown in I check its details with this website. I have a couple of pages covering my flying while in the RAF Air Cadets. Powered flight is covered on this communication. Recently on a visit to the RAF Museum, Midlands, at Cosford I found out two things. One, there is a VC-10 on display that I have been inside and flown with. Secondly I got the serial numbers wrong in either the communication or my original log book, F3822. The VC-10 at Cosford was serial XR808. In my communication I had put XV808. Now, it turns out that XV808 is a Harrier and I have NEVER flown in a Harrier. So, XR seems to be the correct letters. Whoops.

This particular aircraft has a long and interesting history. I found this page detailing her life. My two hours on 26 August 1987 were spent mainly trying to catch up on sleep – summer camp is a very tiring week!

July 18 2025

Jurassic World: Rebirth

I went to see the latest dinosaur film at Cineworld in Rochester. The tide was quite low on entrance to the film and it was still quite low on the way out so I really don’t know what’s happening with that. Maybe the tides stopped for a little while? I’ve never seen the water levels stay so consistent over three hours. I guess that the tide could have been waning as we arrived at the cinema, hit low and then started waxing as we left – this does seem more likely than the tides actually stopping.

The film itself was rather “meh”. There’s been enough Jurassic films now I think they can stop. Also, my opinion, you can’t beat the original for all aspects of story telling. So I rated this movie on IMDb and there’s a guide to the rating system here.

Some parts of the film were interesting but too much of it is just a rehash of all the other films. It was ok-ish.

May 8 2025

A Minecraft Movie

This is a terrible film. There. That pretty much sums it up. I rated it 2/10 on IMDB and although I didn’t leave the cinema before the film had ended I certainly fell asleep and did not care about anything in this film. It’s terrible. Such a shame. They could have made an amazing story, but no. They did not.

April 25 2025

End Of Door Progression

Recently I changed the contents of my lounge. The old sofa and chair were removed and taken away and then a new sofa was delivered. It was all quite stressful really but I’m getting used to the new stuff. One indirect result of losing the chair was the door to the dining room now opens to about 30cm away from closed position when measured at the largest gap – I don’t know what angular measure this is. I needed a doorstop.

So, while I thought about what type of thing to use as a doorstop I used a 1kg cube of tungsten that I had already bought. I’m going to use it as a thing of beauty and also at work in those lessons when I teach about density. But I didn’t want it to be the primary doorstop. So I started looking at aircraft stuff on eBay.

I really like the idea of aircraft based furniture but it’s quite expensive and always custom made so it’s not the sort of thing I can really afford. But for a doorstop I knew I just needed a lump of something that’s quite heavy and looks cool. I did see a brake piston from a 737 on eBay but then while scrolling past the tables and desks made from aircraft parts I found the perfect thing.

Door Stop - Harrier Wing Tip Wheel — Door Stop – Harrier Wing Tip Wheel

This is the a wheel from a Harrier aircraft. It’s a strange one, because along with the B52, the Harrier has wheels that drop down from the wing tips. The main wheels don’t give enough stability so there are extras from the wings. I like this object. I’m sure it’s going to bring me plenty of pleasure just by looking at it.

April 15 2025

All Change

There are things changing in the castle that is my house. It’s currently quite stressy waiting. I’m waiting for people to turn up and do things and in the meantime I can’t really do anything else. I would normally watch television but it’s broken so I’m also waiting for that to happen. Things that are changing:

Old sofa being collect by bulk waste team
New sofa being delivered
Broadband supply changing to fibre to property
Television being fixed

These all occur over two days. Hopefully they all kinda happen in the correct order or there will be trouble ahead. I don’t have the space in the house for three grown ups all trying to do the things they need to do. I’m in waiting mode and feeling a bit odd about the whole thing. I just want everything done so I can relax.

April 4 2025April 25 2025

OLED Oh No!

I’m upset. For the third time in owning a Philips TV I have had one break. The first TV had a new screen fitted after a row of pixels died and then eventually a column of pixels became intermittent in that screen and I decided it was time to get a new one. That is when I bought the OLED version of the same TV. 55″ and ambilight, which I really like. The first TV led to the creation of my most popular video on YouTube:

Well, last night the new OLED broke. And in style. I was called to the front room because the TV “wasn’t working”. Normally this is a quick fix because the other people in the house don’t understand the system and so are unaware of input choice for the TV etc. It’s taken some time for them to understand the sound is created by a different box and not the TV. Anyway, I went into the room expecting to smuggly press a single button on the remote. This is not what happened. The TV wouldn’t turn on.

So, I unplugged the TV and then plugged it in again. I saw a brief cross of white pixels and then the screen died. The white standby light started blinking slowly. So, of course I tried the same thing again, this time leaving the power disconnected for longer. Same result. A search online claims it could be the power to the TV, but it is not. So now I am communicating with Philips, the TV is within warranty. It will get fixed. I will have a nice screen again. I just need to be patient.

In the meantime I have loaded some streaming apps onto my tablet to be able to watch some shows. It’s going to be a bit of a shock having to do that. I also can’t easily play my good Playstation and driving game. All of this has unbalanced me a little. Hopefully I won’t have to wait too long.

UPDATE – 5 minutes after publishing: Philips have been in touch and there is a OBR process for me to try. One Button Reset. Let’s see what happens later today when I try that out. I will update here once tried.

UPDATE – OBR did NOT work. I’ve been back in touch with Philips support and they got back to me pretty quickly with a case number and reference to a company who will come out and fix the TV.

UPDATE – The company have been in touch. They have said they have ordered the parts needed and that those parts come from the EU and so might take a time. Hopefully these parts come soon. I miss watching things on my TV. It’s frustrating. I’m having to use my 3D 1080p television that is in the dining room.

UPDATE – The company have been in touch and have told me the date they are coming to fix my television. Fortunately I am on a holiday from work and also in the country so I am able to wait for the TV to be fixed.

UPDATE – The TV has been fixed. A person came to the house on the day that the new broadband was fitted and they changed the screen and motherboard of the TV. Essentially I have a new TV. The only parts they didn’t change were the power unit and sound board. I don’t use my TV for sound. So, the box is the same but pretty much everything else is new. The fixer also used the secret maintenance menu on the TV but I wasn’t quick enough to see the code they entered to get that menu selection.