How exciting is my life? This exciting: I love my new washing line cover!
Now you see it.
Now you don’t!
How to survive
This is what’s going to get me through the next few years of raising children. Good choice ww.
Son’s computer drawing
Title says it all.
Trying to be quiet
It seems that I find it impossible to be quiet when needed. Not an ADHD thing but just a clumsy thing.
My house is quite small (compact) and I am normally cooking while my wife is putting my youngest to bed. So I’ll be washing up and trying to stir food quietly. It just doesn’t end up being that quiet! I unintentionally bang saucepans, drop cans and crash into the furniture. The more I try and be quiet the more noise I seem to make!
The kids sleep fine if there’s a constant noise but struggle with sharp bangs and crashes. This is probably an evolutionary thing (evolution is real, get over it you religious morons), constant rain or rustling is not a danger but sudden noises spell the end so run away.
So I think this phenomenon is the “don’t think of your name in lights” syndrome. When you try not to do things you end up doing them because you are thinking about the things you shouldn’t do. Richard Wiseman mentions this in his book Paranormality. For instance, on the last lap of a GT5 race I am mostly thinking of not crashing but I tend to spin off more in the last lap than at other times!
Trying our best not to do something often ends with us doing that exact thing. Oh, I’m trying to not buy a 3D tv at the moment!
It’s a 4 dickday
Contrary to what regular users of the internet may think a 4 dickday is or comprises I can assure you that this post is not concerned with matters of that kind!
I drive to work and drop my son off at nursery on the way. It is only about 10 miles at most but does take in tiny streets, village roads, country roads, dual carriageway, motorway and town roads. In the 20 or so minutes of travel from home to work I can normally guarantee seeing at least one example of poor driving. Whether it is inconsiderate and dangerous driving by tailgating, no indication, late lane changing or just plain silly behaviour i.e. speeding or cutting in. These incidents sadden me. Knowing that each of these activities increases the chance of accident bothers me. Generally I would put most of these incidents down to people trying to get somewhere too quickly. Although Some people are just stupid and don’t get manners.
Yesterday was a 4 dickday. I saw four examples of poor road craft. Hence 4 people were acting like dicks on the road. I would say that the modal value is probably 1 but the maximum value for a 10 mile journey has been 6.
I don’t claim to be a good driver, see my previous post on Constant Speed, but I think I am careful and cautious. More so since I have children. The important things in life are my family and friends. Being late is just how things go sometimes. I would love to drive my car or any other car to its limits but until I can afford track days at Brands Hatch that is going to have to wait. That is why I play GT5 and end up crashing, no pain there.
Better to arrive late than to never arrive at all.
Children – Post hoc fallacy delirium
I have two children. One is currently two and the other is two months. I love them both to bits and think it is the best thing I have ever done (bloody hard work too). I think that the best I can ask for is that they both end up with happy and fulfilled lives.
Anyway, the way we learn how to deal with children contains the biggest logical fallacy. We expect children to react to what we do and tell them. We hope and expect that when we ask something of that child they do it because of what we have done in the past. We expect that when I child is upset or being difficult whatever we try and works that particular time should work every time. Now that is a big no-no. I have become more and more convinced that children are complete random action generators.
They do not follow the rules of what we expect. They follow rules written in the edges of clouds and butterfly wings. We try something and it works, therefore it should work every time. Wrong. The reasons behind the action are different every time and so the reaction needs to change too. We are just very good at changing our reaction depending on what we see. We like to kid ourselves that we have it sorted and understand the children so well. We don’t. Humans just love the patterns in life and where we spend most energy and time gives us the biggest case for patternicity.
Post Hoc Ergo Propter Hoc!
Places I have lived
And why not have a list of places I have lived? This whole site is about me keeping moans and groans and the highs of my life in a “secure” place for the world (and eventually my sons) to see. So much for diaries being locked and kept under the bed. Nowadays we like to let the world know what we are thinking and what we know.
I consider that I have lived somewhere if I have unpacked the stereo and wired it up.
Rosedene Flats, Leaden Roding, Essex (no longer exist) (too young for stereo)
Wagon Mead, Hatfield Heath, Essex (too young for stereo)
Broomfields, Hatfield Heath, Essex
Falmouth Keogh Hall, Southside, Imperial College, London (no longer exists)
20 Winchenden Road, Fulham, London
Ongar Road, West Brompton, London
Falmouth Keogh Hall, Southside, Imperial College, London (no longer exists)
Daver Court, Mount Avenue, Ealing, London
Chicago Avenue, Gillingham, Kent
Leonard Way, Brentwood, Essex
Wakeley Road, Rainham, Kent
Edna Road, Ringlestone, Kent
Eccles, Kent
There we are. Not bad going I reckon. I also think that there will only be two more places on this list.
Constant speed or constant throttle?
So, which of these types of driver are you? Now, I’m not claiming to be a good driver, I’m too human to think I’m any good, I wouldn’t even claim I’m a good Gran Turismo driver! But I do know that these two types exist and I’m definitely one of them. This is probably a continuum so I’m not claiming a complete dichotomy.
Type A – Constant Speed
This type of driver maintains a constant speed along a motorway by varying the throttle as gradients increase or decrease. For instance, earlier today while travelling along the M20 I maintained a healthy and legal 70mph. I did this by increasing the throttle uphill and decreasing it downhill. Simple really.
Type B – Constant Throttle
This type of annoying driver maintains the same pressure on the throttle independent of the gradient of the road. This means that as the vehicle goes uphill it slows and then speeds up again as the gradient levels or goes downhill. Many times I have overtaken a car uphill only to be overtaken again going downhill. This is clearly wrong. How do I know this is wrong? Because cars have speed cruise control and not a throttle control.
This type of driving being wrong does not apply to big trucks but definitely to vans who like to go as fast as possible but slowing uphill because they are heavy, thereby blocking the outside lane.
Learn how to adjust your right foot, morons!
Frank and Dave
Here are Frank and Dave. I bought this cactus from the Fresher’s Fair at Imperial College in Sept 1991. They are named after the two main astronaut characters from 2001: A Space Odyssey.
I have only had these twins in my possession for around half of their lives though. In 1996 I left them in the flat at 9 Daver Court, Ealing, where I lived while doing my PGCE. I then moved to Kent. Lost and gone but never entering my thoughts so not lost really. Then in 2004 I moved into my current home and a friend came over. She brought Frank and Dave with her as they had been living in her mum’s bathroom since 1997!
Frank and Dave now live in my dining room and occasionally get watered and hoovered! The spines catch quite a bit of dust.
More about another Frank and Dave another time.
Nearly fully grown
My vegetables nearly ready to eat.
