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September 16 2018September 16 2018

Summer Time

This chronicles the summer holiday 2018. Just an idea of things I did because after almost a week, when I started writing this, I’m worried I’m wasting my time.

Sat – usual Sat stuff
Sun – run, Gran Turismo and cinema to see Skyscraper
Mon – Met Jo then went swimming.
Tues – Had a run and then met John.
Weds – Mostly food and fan shopping and ice cream lunch.
Thurs – stupid hot so cleared out a bedroom cupboard and started putting together a camping box.
Fri – bought camping supplies, a start on the M’era Luna costume and cinema.

Sat – run, more M’era Luna costume work.
Sun – wrote Fooyah communications, exercises, Gran Turismo, Death Of Stalin on Netflix, played No Man’s Sky, read a book.
Mon – Gran Turismo update, daily workout complete; drive 26.4 miles. Visit Spitfire memorial museum, RAF Manston Museum and Battle Of Britain memorial, all East Kent or Hellfire Corner, GT New track 4 laps then No Man’s Sky.
Tues – travel Maldon for the day, No Man’s Sky in evening.
Weds – snuck inot school to see new classroom, Gran Turismo, British Gas boiler service, No Man’s Sky, cleaned the car.
Thurs – run, finish M’era Luna costumes, Granturismo, No Man’s Sky, travel to London to see Freakangel in Hoxton.
Fri – shopping, had a nap, packed for trip, watched film Double Team, tried to complete Nordschleife circuit experience.

Sat – got up and headed to Lake District. Lunch at Wetherby. Petrol at Morrison’s Penrith. Campsite. Made camp. Dinner, read book. Checked out parking for Sunday walk. Up Latrigg – drove up, then parked in town to walk to the Lake. Reading upon return.
Sun – Got ready and drove to car park. Then did many many peaks and returned to the car. Had a cuppa at The Lodge in the Vale. Back to tent. Showered and dinner. Read.
Mon – Breakfast at Filling Station Café, eggs florentine. Drive to Maryport via Whinlatter Pass. Roman museum then to Milefortlet 21. Tea and cake at Buttermere, Booths for some cheese and rolls then back to tent. Watched Nanette and the Spiders web.
Tues – Coffee, drove to Langdale and completed the Langdale Pikes.
Weds – drove home. Washed stuff and packed for Thurs. also, went to Lakeside to get fuel, food and checked EE. Gran Turismo.
Thurs – got engine oil for car. Channel tunnel, drove to Bochum, stayed in cheap hotel.
Fri – drove to Hildesheim, queues for a long time. Pitched tent. Ate, drank, slept, ate, drank, danced in the disco.

Sat – M’era Luna day one. MINISTRY and the PRODIGY.
Sun – M’era Luna day two. Eisbrecher.
Mon – drove home and unpacked.
Tues – washing and cleaning all camping equipment. Fooyah blog posts. Went to see the Meg. Some Gran Turismo. Tour Of Duty.
Weds – swimming, food shopping, watched Sea of Monsters, walk in the park, dinner, Gran Turismo.
Thurs – rowing, watched Jumaji 2, watched Avengers Assemble, Gran Turismo, X-Plane, watched Tour of Duty.
Fri – Ebbsfleet, train, underground, monument, shard, national gallery, Trafalgar square, HMS Belfast, Kings X for fish and chips, train home.

Sat – Scoopid for ice cream, park and walk around the vineyard and playing PS You games.
Sun – Cleaned the garden and sorted it out. Had a run in evening.
Mon – dentist, stuff to dump, watched Channel 4 sci fi thing, cinema – Spy who dumped me.
Tues – run, head to Jason’s. Swimming and tea at Foxhills. Stay at Jason’s.
Weds – chill at Jason’s and then head to Look Out Discovery Centre. Lunch. Drive to Maidstone A&E. Subway and home.
Thurs – food shopping. Dossed. Watch Psych the movie in evening.
Fri – Head in to school and sort new classroom out. Afternoon run. Thought about cinema but decided against it.

Sat – chill day. Went to watch The Festival in evening. Been watching The Expanse season 3.
Sun – run. Went to Harlow to see sister. Lunch with parents at Harlow Mill. After home, more Expanse.
Mon – Bank holiday. Morning row – 60mins. Food shopping. Home, Expanse. Finished Expanse.
Tues – Went to school to put posters up. Then drove to Costco for lunch. Shopping and then the most almighty traffic jam. Ikea then Costco again. Home finally at 2230.
Weds – up. Breakfast. Row.
Thurs – RAF Museum, Hendon. Started Killjoys season 3.
Fri – doss morning. Watched Journey to Centre Of The Earth. More school stuff printing SoWs. Run. X-Plane.
Sat – up and headed to 5K inflatable assault course at Kempton. Lunch out at Magpie pub. Rtn. Polished shoes. Finished Killjoys season 3.
Sun – up run. Shopping. Lunch. Watched “Halt and Catch Fire”. Ironing.

So, it looks like I managed to “busy it up” but I also kinda wrote more stuff down so it just looks like I did more!

September 10 2018September 11 2018

In This Day And Age

During 2018 my work shoes died. Both soles split across the ball of my foot and while most of the time this was not a problem my feet got wet when it rained. So, I decided to get new shoes over the summer break. I don’t like shopping for shoes. I hate spending money on them. I am not a “shoe” person. But, I did think, it might be worth spending a little more on a decent brand of shoes to get a pair that will be comfortable and last.

Dr Martens it has to be then. I had owned this brand of shoe in the past and they are a solid brand. Good quality and lasting power. A pair of shoes that should serve me well. They were easy to find and bought after trying them on. I did think that they pinched a bit but surely that would wear off?

Last week I wore those shoes for one day and they destroyed my feet. I have open blisters on my heels and across the top of my feet. Bollocks. I didn’t “break” these shoes in over the summer. I struggled to wear them for the next two days. I took them off while performing my main role within the school and explained to kids that my feet hurt.

During spare moments I started to bend and break the leather so that it was softer and more forgiving. I have spent about an hour on each shoe making sure the leather is more flexible. I have used shoe-cream. I have hit them with a hammer.

I can’t yet wear these shoes as my feet need to heal. So, this week I am wearing some black boots that were issued to me by the RAF. And here’s the thing. Those boots don’t need breaking in and are comfortable straight away. NO BREAKING IN.

In May I bought some new walking boots. They are lovely. I wore them straight away. Guess what? They DIDN’T need breaking in and are going to last me another twenty years.

Five years ago I was issued parade shoes by the RAF. They DIDN’T need breaking in.

I’m annoyed that the DM shoes need breaking in. I’m annoyed I didn’t do that over the summer holidays. I’m in pain and annoyed by it. I’m hoping that in about a week’s time, once my feet are healed, that the new shoes will be more forgiving. It’s pathetic! [both my pain and that shoes need to undergo a process before they are comfortable to wear].

August 30 2018August 30 2018

Hendon Views

I went to visit the RAF Museum at Hendon. It’s a lovely place, partly because it costs nothing to go in* but also because it’s full of aircraft.

*there are parking charges.

My main issue with the museum is that the aircraft are parked close together and it’s hard to get decent photographs of them. Also, some of the rooms are pretty dark and getting the white balance correct is a pain. Maybe I need to be a better photographer!

Anyway, here are a selection of shots.

August 28 2018August 28 2018

Six And A Half Hours Later Than Planned

Today’s plan was reasonably simple. Head to Costco for lunch and a bit of shopping then head home and watch some TV. I expected to be back for about 16:00 [BST]. It initially went well. The lunch was bought and the stuff purchased, the car was filled and I went to leave the car park. Except I couldn’t because the road was busy. So I drove to the other exit thinking I’d go out by Ikea and head to the A13 and join the M25 there. But that way was blocked with traffic too. That was when I decided to look at my phone and see what Google maps was saying about the traffic.

It was fucked.

The maps app was reporting that the QE II bridge was closed. North and southbound. Bugger. I needed to use that to get back home. Alternatives exist but they are a pain and involve London.

Apparently two trucks had collided on the north side of the bridge. This meant both tunnel and bridge were closed. This meant the entire area because a car park. I decided to stop in the official car park I hadn’t left and leave the car and try and waste some time so I would start again when at least the traffic was moving a little.

I walked to Ikea, wandered around, found a few things to buy and then also went to the restaurant and ate some food. Periodically I would check twitter and maps to see if there was any movement. There was not.

I then thought it might be worth joining a queue again and maybe we would move a car’s length every minute or so, at least make some progress. So I drove to the Costco exit and joined a queue. The only times I moved forward was when a car not far ahead pulled a U-ey and we all move one car length. After an hour I turned around and parked in Costco again. To be honest I had made it about 50 m from the car park exit in that time so it wasn’t really like I had left!

A cuppa and toilet break in Costco and time to spend a little longer wasting time hoping that something would move soon. It wouldn’t.

While still trying to get out of Ikea and head directly north to the A13 it struck me it that heading south [the blue lines] and then heading east might work. The traffic seemed to be moving in those directions. Maybe I could then head north to the A127, rejoin the M25 or head into London.

The roads seemed reasonably clear. I got on the M25 anti-clockwise and I just kept following Google Maps. I headed down the M11, around the Olympic stadium in Stratford and then there were slight delays on the approach to the Blackwall Tunnel. After that there were no more delays. I think they had started to open the Dartford Tunnels at some point because the traffic seemed to be moving north at that point. The M25 was delayed and stopped from Dartford to about Stapelford Tawney, the delays were immense.

#M25 J31 incident on clockwise approach to #DartfordCrossing. HGV recovery operation complex and pictures from scene show the scale of task. We’re working with all available resources to get the scene cleared but it will take some more time due to damage and position of the HGVs. pic.twitter.com/dQzRVaQrKP

— Highways England (@HighwaysEAST) August 28, 2018

My overall thoughts are that I am glad no one was badly injured. Yes, it caused huge delays and would have cost a lot of money because of those delays, but hopefully everyone got home OK.

I got home around 22:30 [BST]. A little later than planned. I’m not annoyed. I almost enjoyed the adventure of it all. I had looked at cinema times but there were no suitable films, I had looked at booking into the Travelodge over the road but it was full, I had considered driving to my parents’ house but the issue was getting out of the car park!

BBC News – M25 and Dartford Crossing closed after lorry crash https://t.co/rLhYUTd43F

— Ian Parish (@iparish) August 28, 2018

The trucks had spilled fuel over the road and this meant it needed to be resurfaced. They also managed to crash just before the slip way for southbound traffic to enter the tunnel. Therefore there was no alternative to shutting the entire crossing.

Next time, for there will be another time, I will do my best to look at the roads heading in the opposite direction. Had I thought of that earlier I think I could have been home around 19:00 [BST]. Oh well.

August 26 2018August 27 2018

Shaming Farts

On a recent trip to Surrey I stopped off at Chobham services on the M25. You wouldn’t think I’d find much to comment on while having a quick wee break on a journey but “Oh My!”.

Every advert in the male toilets was for Shreddies and not the breakfast cereal.

Now, I will look at their website shortly and comment after but my initial reaction was:

WHY THE FUCK CAN’T WOMEN FART? WHO CARES?

My immediate next thought was:

We’ve had plenty of period shaming on women and now we shame them into smelling nice and pretty all the time and won’t allow them to perform normal bodily functions.

Well. I hope that the adverts in the ladies’ toilets were all for fart-pants for men, but i am unaware of those facts.

This advert is appalling. Women must remain clean and sweet and smell of roses for men. Women aren’t allowed to fart. Women should be beautiful for men. Farting is bad.

FUCK this company. I found this advert and all the other similar ones in the toilets sexist and shaming of humans for doing NORMAL human things.

Now, I’m off to look at the website and I’ll comment below.

So, they do men’s stuff too. Most of the web page is products aimed at men. It’s still disgusting.

“Fabulous idea, a great quality product with great styling, this could save many a marriage! A much needed product, fantastic innovation.”

Fuck this company.

August 26 2018July 19 2022

TankChip

On my recent trip to the Lake District I had breakfast in The Filling Station cafe. It’s a lovely little cafe with nice food and a classic soft rock playlist that could shock you.

Jack and Diane(John C-M)
Jump (Van Halen)
New Sensation (Inxs)
I come from a land down under (Men at work)
Stuck with you (Huey Lewis and the news)
Alive and kicking (simple minds)
Manic Monday (the bangles)
I died in your arms tonight (the cutting crew)

At that point I stopped recording what played. It’s almost the same content as my Hits 4 album from 1986. There is also Now That’s What I Call Music 6. These were my first foray into compilation albums. I expect I recorded them onto tape to listen to on a “walkman”.

So, in the cafe they have a free motorbike magazine and as an ex-biker I perused this rather than spend time staring at the mess and disaster on my phone twitter account. Nothing in the magazine was a particular surprise, it looks as though bike technology has moved on quite a bit since my 2001 Super Blackbird and bikes now seem pretty expensive. They are definitely a middle-class weekend thing. It’s not sensible to have one that is your only form of transport as mine was. Racking up over 12,000 miles a year on a motorbike is expensive in terms of servicing, tyres and depreciation. I digress.

So, in this magazine I spotted an advert for TankChip. It struck me as bullshit almost straight away but I am willing to see what evidence there is. Here’s the advert:

The advert seems to claim that by adding this device to the petrol tank you get more power, performance and acceleration along with an improvement in economy. Now these are some pretty impressive claims. I mean, a device that is cheap and can be added to any petrol tank and improves most characteristics of your engine? It’s almost as if it worked then manufacturers would be adding it to your tank anyway. It’d be a pretty impressive device. IF IT WORKED.

It doesn’t.

On the web page about the technology involved there are zero specific claims about the tankchip. There are plenty of claims and sciency sounding things but not one single claim about the chip itself. go and read it and see if it actually says anything about the chip. There are no testable claims.

So, here’s what happens. You see this advert, believe it, and purchase a crappy piece of plastic. Then you put it in your tank. From that point onward you are pre-disposed to see an improvement. You have paid money. You expect it to work. It will work, in your observation. What happens in reality is that it doesn’t work.

It’s like buying a nice wine. You look at the bottles and decide which one will taste nice. Then you pay plenty of money for that and, surprise!, it tastes nice. More expensive wines taste better than cheap ones. Expensive TVs look better than cheap ones because you are bought in to them.

So, riding your motorbike you expect results and so, unconsciously, drive a little more restrained but also it’ll feel like you are accelerating at a better rate, your engine will feel smoother, because you expect it to. You end up believing that this tankchip has made a difference when in reality nothing has changed. Expectation is a powerful thing.

Another clue that this is a scam is that they offer a money back guarantee. So, you buy this thing. Two things probably happen. You convince yourself it does work or you decide it doesn’t work but either forget about it or are a bit embarrassed you bought it in the first place. Either way, it’s quite likely you won’t bother to get your money back.

I have emailed the company for some information about the testing they performed and here is the response.

Can send you a some extracts from recent tank.chip customer emails when in the office.
As far as testing documents I’m not sure what you are looking for exactly.

So, I explained what I wanted. Testimonials don’t tell me shit. People’s thoughts are the worst way of collecting data because of all the biases of the human brain! That’s why we have science.

Since adding a tank.chip to my Royal Enfield 500 Bullet, performance wise it is more responsive and most importantly the engine has much less vibration at speed, which can be an annoyance when riding a single cylinder retro machine. I don’t know what or how it does it, but wow it sure does. An excellent product.
Barry H, Lincolnshire

I have purchased a tank chip, it seemed a small price to gamble! I am pleasantly surprised. Touring Wales on my Street Triple R ABS my average mpg has gone from its usual 56-58 mpg (at touring speeds) to 64.4 mpg (readout from the dash). That gives me at least an extra 20 miles from my 3gallon tank. Many thanks for a product that really works.
Clive T-B, Essex

Here’s what I asked for:

I was after a more serious test, such as some dyno testing or third party test of the product. Maybe something by a magazine?

Here’s the response I got back. It is a bank holiday weekend here so I expected to wait a little while:

Fast Bikes were setting up a dyno test but not heard anything.

Quite a few bike dealers and tuners repeat buy so I guess they have tested.

We won’t send out our data just yet for a number of reasons but will put something on line in the coming months.

I’m happy to wait for the details and if they get sent to me I will amend this communication. I doubt that any serious testing of this device will give any information or evidence that it works. If it did, then all manufacturers would already fit it. I did see one thread that it may actually include some lead which used to be added to petrol in the olden days to help with combustion and reduce “pinking”. Then we knew that lead poisoned people and campaigners worked to get it removed from petrol.

This device is very similar to the fuel magnets my father gave me about 13 years ago and they secured my descent into skepticism and you can read about that in this communication from six years ago!

August 19 2018November 12 2018

This Is London Calling

I recently traveled to London for the day. I did plenty of walking along with a few train rides and underground journeys. Not going to say a huge amount about what I saw but here are some of the highlights:

There you are. Some of the classic sights of the city of London and Greater London and the City of Westminster.

August 3 2018August 3 2018

Freakangel – Zigfrid von Underbelly

Last night coincided with a charity gig in London and so I ensured my position was sufficient to be there. It took place at Zigfrid von Underbelly, in Hoxton Square, which is the basement of a steak house as far as I could tell. There were four bands and the money raised went to the Beat Cancer charity which is a pretty good cause. So, here’s my review:

The first band up played about five songs. It was mostly electronica with some signing. My notes say:

Two blokes, woman green hair. She looked nervous. Electronica. It was ok. Nothing special. Not my stuff but they interacted well.

When I say they interacted well I think I mean the main male signer was busy with the crowd but then he also organised the whole event.

The second band were called Room 1985 and it certainly felt like their set was 1985 years long. It was Indie mixed with prog rock and it was pretty boring. There were some lyrics but they weren’t interesting. I was polished but fucking dull. Of note was the guitarist who played left handed and a standard strung guitar upside down, that was quite cool. I did not take a photo of them.

Thirdly were Neonsol a Danish band which was mostly upbeat europop with a hint of electro, it was good dance stuff but not really dark enough. The “drummer” played roughly two pads on the machine and I wondered why he was there!

Finally Freakangel were on. I’d listened to their stuff over the previous couple of weeks and it was pretty good. A decent heavy guitar with aggrotech over the top. The shouty vocals work and I actually don’t mind them in this case.

Things of note were poor sound quality for the first 10 minutes. There was no guitar sound in the beginning and it was worrisome as there was definitely something missing from the sound. Just before the band Smith and I had gone outside to get some air but it was actually colder in the basement with people jumping around than outside [FYI it’s about 30C today]. I don’t know whether to mention the fact that the drummer was female, in this day and age it shouldn’t matter should it? Everyone can do whatever the fuck they want and it shouldn’t be a “thing”. I guess it’s still not that common. The audience was at least 50% female which does not happen within metal.

Freakangel were pretty good and I think I’d like to see them again in a slightly busier dedicated venue with decent sound.