Category: Social

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Possibly Slightly Fussy

I could possibly be described as being slightly fussy. This may surprise you, dear reader, but then again I would think not. I’m a teacher of mathematics and I love science and the real world. Of course I’m going to be fussy and whimsical.

I am probably too fussy about white boards at work. The one in my main teaching room I keep as spotless as possible. I do not use permanent pens [you’d be surprised the number of times that does happen] and I always wipe the board using a circular motion with my hands.

If you wipe clean a white board using a side to side motion the ink gathers in small areas at the edge of the wipe, much like windscreen wipers. However, if you clean using a circular motion this does not happen.

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There is a slight dent in my whiteboard in the bottom right of the picture. It irritates me slightly but I can’t do a lot about it! Also, if you look carefully you might be able to see my year 10 class doing a test!

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Pigeon Check

This is a picture of the building where I predominantly work. You can see I have labelled certain parts of the building.

Over the last few years I have been here I have become aware that before I enter the building (through doors labelled A) I check the roof line (labelled B) for pigeons. This is because they poop over the edge of the building and I don’t want to get any of that on me. If I look at the floor underneath the eaves I can see a distribution of pigeon poop along the length of the building. If I spot pigeons directly above the doors I will adjust my approach to the building. In the picture the birds sitting quietly (labelled C) would not be considered a threat unless it was a windy day.

 

Pigeon Check
Pigeon Check

Don’t get me started on the seagulls on the other buildings!

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Just Wrong

Maps eh? This is the picture of a wall chart by Michelin (the French company but for their English cousins). It is a Van Der Grinten projection with changes made by Michelin. I’m not sure it’s ethical to change a map projection but they did.

This map makes Great Britain look the same size as France. The real multiplier is that France is 2.2 times the size of the UK, let alone GB.
Spain is really twice as big as Great Britain.
Although it’s not on this picture Kenya looks about the same size as GB but is in fact 2.4 times bigger.

What have Michelin done? They’ve made it appear that Great Britain is larger than it is really. Oh dear. Perhaps we should all watch the

Somebody’s Going to Emergency, Somebody’s Going to Jail

episode of the West Wing. It will explain it all, I assure you.

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By the way, the last time I saw this episode of the West Wing was summer 2013 in Keswick while I was visiting penguin.

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Umbrella

In 1988 I went to the British Formula One Grand Prix with my sister and friends. We were four in total, Nick, Andy, Tracy and me. It was pretty exciting and one of the first “big days out” I had done as a teenager (I was 16).
I remember about five things about the day:

  • It rained
  • We watched from the Hangar Straight
  • Nigel Mansell came second
  • Andy and I bought an umbrella
  • We couldn’t hear the radio commentary because the cars were too loud
  • A car came to a stop right in front of us

Ok, wow, that’s six things about the day. I also want to say that we drove there in an Austin Allegro but I don’t think that is correct. I shall check and get back to you.

According the to Wikipedia page on this race it did rain, which is reassuring for my memory cells and Mansell did come second. It’s the umbrella I want to focus on.

As it rained so much Andy and I decided to buy an umbrella. We didn’t have enough money to each buy one so we put our funds together and bought a Marlboro McLaren umbrella from a stall. This umbrella served us well during the day and from then on we agreed we would share the umbrella between us as we both owned it.

I think this arrangement may have lasted about a year until I lost the umbrella. It’s something I feel a little bad about even to this day [when I remember to]. I had a strange canvassing job for Eissman who were trying to build a business of home delivered frozen food. A group of us would wander crappy (and some not-so-crappy) housing estates delivering the catalogue of frozen delights and then two days later we would ring every door bell and see if we could have the catalogue back, preferably with an order. It was commission only.

For this particular week I was getting a lift with the son of the vicar of Ugley in Essex. We were working in Letchworth in Hertfordshire. The weather must’ve been bad because I had the umbrella with me and then left it in his car when he dropped me off from another unsuccessful day at work. I’m pretty sure he quit and didn’t turn up again. As a job it was pretty bad, I lasted two weeks. What is more annoying is that I lost the umbrella which meant quite a bit to me.

I remembered this recently when I was teaching ratios to a class of mine. I told the story and then text Andy about it. He had forgotten what happened to the umbrella, but for me, I feel the loss nearly every day!

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Such A Waste

I had a lovely time at a wedding in June or at least people tell me so, I don’t remember much of it at all. Anyway, the hotel room had sugar lumps for coffee and tea but each one was individually wrapped in plastic. What a waste!

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Who shall I address this too?

Yes, I know it’s grammatically incorrect. But that’s the point, read on dear Fooyah follower. I am sure that this is wrong and someone should be sacked for putting this on posters [if this poster is written correctly then tweet me or something and I’ll withdraw this post in shame]:

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The correct version of this is:

Who’s stolen our lions?

I’m never really sure who to blame in these situations. It’s a bit like the problem with sign writers. If they are given instructions telling them what to write and it’s grammatically incorrect do sign writers have a duty to correct the English or to put what the customer has written on a sign? It probably doesn’t matter as most people wouldn’t be bothered by something as trivial as a spelling mistake or grammar. But these things are important. There’s a proper way to write information to ensure that meaning is as accurate as possible.

Language is there so we can communicate effectively. What happens to society when newspapers are unable to write properly?

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H.G.

It was nice to see a plaque up on the side of a building in Baker Street that wasn’t dedicated to a fictional detective.

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I have to say that for half the time I was looking at this I had an image of H.G. from the television show Warehouse 13. A good programme.

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Parking Signals

This Fooyah.net communication is to give some advice on how to give signals when someone else is parking their car. To me this seems an obvious thing to do, but so many people don’t do it so it needs explaining. This is partly made irrelevant by “parking sensors” but then I don’t really agree with them in the same way I don’t agree with automatic headlights. If you can’t park your car you shouldn’t be driving. I know technology is there to make life easier but let’s face facts: some people aren’t good enough to warrant owning a driving licence.

The Situation

You want to park in a tight spot and need someone to give you hand signals so you know where your car is in relation to other (fixed) objects, another car or fence post.

Bad picture of car parking

The Wrong Hand Signal Method

The person guiding you into your parking spot waves their hand backwards and forwards. This gives you, as the driver, absolutely no information and all the power and control is in the hands of a potential moron who is helping you park.

Bad Parking Signals

The Correct Hand Signal Method

This method relies on the helper being able to indicate distance by just looking at the gap but it gives you are driver information and the ability to control the situation. The hands are held apart roughly the same distance that is between your car and the obstruction. As a driver you now know distance and rate of closure. You, as the driver, can decide when you are close enough and also have overall control of the situation. This method should be taught to everyone.

Good Parking Signals

So, there you have it. How to give parking signals. I don’t even want to begin to explain what bumpers are for!

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Shame On The BBC

It’s a crying shame.

I had intended to use this site to moan about various BBC news articles where the reporting was poor. It is quite clear to me now that if I pointed out every problem with just the news section I would have to leave my current job and spend all my time informing you about how bad the News section of the BBC is. It is truly awful. However, it is the least awful source of news within the UK. I occasionally look at the HuffPo app on my phone and it reports complete bollocks and also has blog articles masquerading as news items. The BBC quite clearly feels it is in a free market and that readership or just spouting news for 24 hours a day is the most important thing. Well, it’s not. I would quite happily watch BBC news if it was only on twice a day and not around the clock as it currently is. Let’s get this straight, for most of the day: nothing happens. Nothing worth reporting.
Breathe.
Calm.

My latest problem is with one line in the new Atlantis series. Jason says to Pythagoras something along the lines of

Well, you and your triangles have been boring school children silly for thousands of years.

This is utter populist arse. Pythagoras’ Theorem occurs everywhere and is even used within relativistic equations. The music work Mr P did founded European music. All the great things that have happened can be linked in someway to Pythagoras and the early pioneers of the importance of mathematics. Perhaps Jason should have said:

We owe so much to your thoughts and insight, it’s a crying shame most people don’t value mathematics.

There are enough problems caused by a pride in how poor we are at mathematics and script writers don’t need to add to the perception that this is ok.
Wake up and smell the importance of mathematical literacy.

Rock is my life and this is my song
It’s a crying shame
That some of us have not survived
No use in asking how it happened
But very few are left alive

Bachman Turner Overdrive

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How It Works

I had a new washing machine delivered this morning. The old one was making noises as though it was grinding cutlery everytime I used it. The new one is pretty quiet! The water draining away is louder than the machine on a spin cycle. Anyway, that’s not the point of this communication.
I asked one of the men installing the machine if all new washing machines only had cold water input. Yes, was the reply. Ok. I’m fine with that but he went on to explain why they don’t need hot water.

You know that jet engines spin around and they have hot air coming out of them, it’s just like that, the spinning makes the water warm. It’s just a shame that washing machines just don’t have after-burners.

Holy cow. I must have been wrong all these years to assume it was an electric heating element that warmed the water! Gosh. The fuel in jet engines must just be to make the turbines turn and then the spinning does the rest.

Now, a washing machine with an after-burner is something I would pay a lot of money for.

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