How Many Bottles?

The latest Robinson’s Juice promotion involves handing over some profit to transform playgrounds around the country.

Transform your patch

Here’s what it says on the back of a large juice bottle:
From the back of a squash bottle
Sometimes people get caught up on this sort of thing and don’t think about the numbers involved.

Let’s consider a small playground of size 6 metres by 4 metres, which might just be enough for a set of swings. To pay for the transformation of this mediocre patch of land Robinson’s would have to sell 600 x 400 = 240 000 bottles of juice. SERIOUSLY?
If Robinson’s sell nearly a quarter of a million bottles then they would have to cough up for the transformation of a patch on land into some swings and soft surface. I reckon this conversion would cost about £6000 (a severe guess but probably about right) and this represents a cost per bottle of 2.5p and given a profit margin of, say 40%, this means Robinson’s are laughing all the way to the shareholders’ meeting.

Essentially this is an ingenious piece of marketing and I think they should be congratulated. Well done Robinson’s. It looks like they are doing wonders for the community but in reality they are doing little.

A similar scam, sorry marketing ploy, was run by Pampers when they said that for each pack of nappies sold they would donate a single vaccination to UNICEF. This is marketing at its worst. Trying to make companies seem like they care when in reality they are just doing it to make more money (the basics of capitalism I know!).

If these companies were truly serious about changing playgrounds or helping vaccinate the world they would publish something along the following lines:

We have decided to turn ALL profits for one year over to XXXX charity so that they are able to further our combined missions to improve the health and well-being of the children of this fragile Earth.

If a company did volunteer ALL the profits from one product line then I would happily buy them over another but when it’s just part of the marketing campaign then be cynical.

Published

In November 2009 I was moved to write a letter to the editor of Private Eye after the architecture critic, Piloti, suggested that living near electricity transformers was dangerous to human health. The letter was published and I have kept that copy of Private Eye for the future. Looking back through my emails it would appear that I have written to Private Eye 5 times. So that’s a 20% hit rate so far.

Sir,

I was disappointed to read that Piloti (Eye 1249) has reinforced the incorrect view that magnetic fields from electricity substations are a danger to health. There is no scientific evidence to link electricity substations with an increase of ill health. Piloti’s use of the specific term “radiation” only reinforces peoples’ prejudices against such structures. EM radiation covers everything from radio waves to X-Rays and beyond and does nothing to describe what is actually emitted. Should your excellent staff of humanities graduates want to further their knowledge I point you in the direction of: http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/factsheet/Risk/magnetic-fields

I shall, however, not be cancelling my subscription for this minor transgression.



Skeptical Pat

Just watched an episode of Postman Pat, or rather, just turned over and caught the last little bit. I was feeding son #2 rather than enjoying the stop-motion for myself. The episode was called Postman Pat and the Magic Lamp.
Now I’m going to have to guess what the story was about but I think the kids (all with ginger hair, Pat’s hair is ginger, you figure it out) found a lamp that they considered magic. I think they made wishes and then waited for them to come true. When Pat spoke to them he said:

Wishes only come true like that in books and stories. If you want something to come true then you have to work yourself to make it come true.

This is surely an excellent lesson, not only for children but also for every person on the planet. What a skeptical chap.

Knowing your market

Getting together with companies who have the same customer base is a bonus for big business but needs careful arrangement. Never a clearer example:

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Possibly this photo also clearly shows an example of standard Scottish weather. Snow tonight!
I think this post clearly shows my growing snobbery towards certain things. Will have to reign that in, it doesn’t do good for a so called liberal to be a bit of a snob (except for universities).

Twitter

I finally figured out that I miss all my friend’s tweets because I follow too many people. So, quite brilliantly, I created another twitter account and use that one to follow the less important things in my life.
So my main (friends) account is @iparish
The account I use to follow lots of everyone is @iparish_gen
This is a list of people I consider important enough to be on my main account:

  • Daryl Walshe
  • My Wife
  • Andy Pom
  • Kate
  • Dafydd Morse
  • Ryan Palmer
  • Richard O
  • William Shatner
  • George Takai
  • Tim Minchin

Added as of 29 March 2012

  • Leonard Nimoy

There Are Four Things

There are four things I say to my son as I put him to bed. It’s just a routine that has developed over the last year or so. WW puts #2 to bed and I do the eldest. It’ll change when they are both in the same room but for now:

Have a nice sleep.

I’ll see you in the morning.

Love you loads.

Night night.

Quality Parking

Watched this guy park, get out, check his parking and then walk away. What a knob! He might as well have parked right in the middle of the two spaces.

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