Tag: film

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Kong: Skull Island

I took a birthday trip to see Kong: Skull Island at the Rochester Cineworld Cinema. If you don’t know me by now, then you’ll never, ever know that I rate my movies on the IMDB website, but there’s a catch. I explained my rating system here, but I think scores have been creeping recently so I may have to redefine the system. Watch this space. When I decide my score I tweet it, which leads to a quite nice embedded format:

I had originally scored this as a 6, but upon reflection it didn’t deserve to be rated that highly, hence my change of mind.

Because, this film, was, shit.

SPOILERS ahead.

The script was appalling, lazy, stereotypical bullshit. Samuel L Jackson’s eyes got too much screen time. The film makers can’t count helicopters.

The monsters looked brilliant. I’m not really aware of the mythology around the Kong character but in this film he seemed to be more of an accidental benevolent monster type thing rather like Godzilla than all out terrible monster. I guess it’s OK because he fell in love with Brie Larson, who didn’t get smashed to death inside Kong’s hand while he ripped the brain out of a two legged lizard thing. It was irritating that Brie Larson seemed to spend all her time with a bag strap over her chest to enhance her breasts, this wasn’t needed, it seemed sexist to me.

The characters were terrible. War mad generals, smooth calm SAS member, crazy scientist with stupid theories, tribe who don’t speak. It was lazy terrible bullshit.

I can suspend my disbelief for gigantic monsters on an island surrounded by a perpetual storm. That bit was fine. The rest of this was bollocks.

It’s the little things. Little things that shouldn’t be things I have to write about. Like helicopters that materialise from nowhere. On the ship travelling to Skull Island there were, quite clearly, one Chinook, one Sea Stallion and four Hueys. All of a sudden when they take off to head to Skull Island the Hueys had babies and there were eight of them!! I have no idea where they came from. I also don’t know where the helos at the end of the film came from unless the US Navy had a task force nearby.

Oh, the Hueys had tape players and speakers. I can’t quite decide if this was an homage to Apocalypse Now! or just a plain bullshit rip off. The shots were almost exactly the same.

If you want a film with rebellious music, at least make the music decent. There was a ton of decent stuff around in the 1973 setting.

The two chaps who had crashed on Skull Island in the opening sequence made a boat out of aircraft parts. The team spent about a day turning this hulk of 29 year old metal into a working boat by turning some bolts and waggling some leavers. They made a metal thing work smoothly after 29 years in a humid environment. They must be geniuses. Oh and then, when they get the engine running it pops away smoothly and quietly in the background. Let me tell you that there are NO aero engines that run “quietly” in the background. That engine would have been producing in excess of 900bhp and no silencing. The makeshift boat would have torn itself apart.

According to the Wikipedia page I missed the post-credits scene where other monsters are revealed to the viewer. I don’t care.

If I wanted to be very extremely generous I could claim that the film was a complete metaphor for the USA’s battle against terrorism with Kong representing the terrorists. But I don’t want to be generous with this film.

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Logan

In an unusual move I went to the cinema this morning to an 11:00 showing! I’d already had a run so I figured why not? I won’t embed that here, you can search my Twitter timeline if you want to see that. As is usual I rated the film on IMDB and for an explanation of the rating system you should read this communication.

So, I enjoyed the film. It was pretty violent and very well done. It wasn’t that violent given what I have seen in the past but I guess for a 15 it was impressive.

 

WARNING there are SPOILERS from HERE.

 

I don’t like superhero films. Or mutant films. Most of them are rubbish. This one was good but not brilliant. I’ve seen people raving about it and I think that’s mostly the rubbish they’ve been fed over the years colouring their view. 

I need to add that the whole idea that the kids would be safe once they “crossed the border” was odd given that the company chasing them was perfectly happy to blow shit up in Mexico and the USA and so probably wouldn’t mind popping into Canada. 

It was lovely to see Richard E Grant being evil.

This film was going to be rated 6/10 but I have given it 8/10 because of the major deaths that take place in the film. I though it was important to give those characters some honour.

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Hidden Figures

Last night I went to see Hidden Figures. It has been a while since I’ve been to the cinema as things are just a little busy at the moment. I’m sure I’ll catch up in the next month or so. I’ve had a recommendation to see Logan and given my general dislike of superhero films it will be interesting to see it.

I went to see Hidden Figures. It is customary for me to rate films on IMDB and I did so.

Perhaps you should read my reasoning behind my ratings, although I have to admit the logic is shifting slowly over time, as should be expected I guess.

Hidden Figures was a good film. It was about some of my favourite topics; space, rockets, maths, civil rights, humanity.

Quite a broad range of topics there, but this film managed them all. This was the story of three mathematicians at NASA. That doesn’t sound particularly impressive until you suddenly say BLACK FEMALE mathematicians at NASA in the early 1960s. Everyone should see this film, it has the right amount of everything, really worth while.

It stuns me to see how different people were treated. God, people can be fucking assholes.

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Hacksaw Ridge

I went to the cinema by the river Medway [Rochester] and watched Hacksaw Ridge. I rated it on the IMDB website and as ever you should read this communication about my rating system.

My general overview is that I won’t watch this film again. I enjoyed it but I am thoroughly depressed at man’s ability to kill and destroy each other. I do understand that at times it is necessary to do these things but I wish it wasn’t.

If you want to see a boot camp sequence then you only need watch Full Metal Jacket. There was a lot of soap opera joyness about the USA scenes. I will say that Hugo Weaving was fantastic as the father, he really showed the horror of coping with war. I am not sure that his friends would have been buried in the hometown but I could be wrong.

When we get into battle this film blows you away and I almost cowered waiting for the calm. The noise and assault was impressive. The battle scenes are brilliantly horrific and scary. Fuck war.

This was a “true story” and the interviews at then end played out some of what we saw. This is worth a watch.

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The LEGO Batman Movie

I tried to coast the car as far as possible to Rochester cinema today, but there are too many uphills in the way and I had to use a fair bit of fuel. I do tell myself that all journeys that start and end at home are potential energy neutral [given particular losses for downhill and energy conversion] but still, hills annoy me. I also don’t want to be a particularly sad Prius driver, I do like power mode. I went to see Lego Batman and I rated the film on IMDB, perhaps I could trouble you to read this communication about the rating system.

Well, overall I would say I was largely not affected by this film. The opening was good, I liked the Batman character and his voice-over. but I think I’m too old for these films now. It all seemed just a little too busy. There was always so much going on in the film and on the screen it was hard to keep up with the characters and potential jokes that were happening. I am positive it was funnier than I thought, but I only smiled a couple of times.

While I guess this film was inevitable after the Lego Movie, I think Batman has been done to death. Putting it in Lego didn’t change or improve it. If anything it possibly messed up the Lego brand a bit. This film could have just as easily been live action or animated [not Lego] and it would have been the same. There wasn’t any reason for it to be Lego.

I didn’t leave the cinema amazed with what I had just seen, I left feeling “huh”, or whatever letters spell the equivalent of a “shoulder shrug”. It is quite possible that I just don’t like Batman. I remember seeing the Tim Burton version and thinking “whatever”, I do now recognise it as great though. All versions since have left me cold and irritated. I’m just not made for Batman.

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Secret Scotney Dark Side

I went and visited Scotney Castle today. The sun was shining and it was lovely out, a little cold but largely nice. The skies looked great, far better than all the grey we’ve had recently. The car managed 62 mpg on the way home, so I’m quite happy with that. Scotney is a lovely large house that definitely isn’t a castle. The owners deliberately ruined the old castle to create a good looking folly after the newer house was built.

Scotney
Scotney Castle

While wandering around the newer house I noticed a wooden panel in the library.

Sith Panel
Sith Panel

Now this is quite disturbing. When you focus on the words it becomes obvious that there may be secret Star Wars fans when the house was designed in the 1800s!

Sith Alert
Sith Alert

Apparently the phrase should be:

I care not for quotations of kings and queens. Also, they are quotations, not quotes.

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T2 Trainspotting

18. It was a proper 18 film. These are quite a delight because you get proper violence and language and sex. These films are grittier and more interesting than those certified below 18. When I think about it, you don’t get many horror films that hit the 18 mark anymore, I wonder if that’s because the market for those types of films is really teenagers. I’m pretty sure that some films change certification over time. Alien was an X on release [over 18] but is now a 15 on DVD release, people’s sensitivities get less as society evolves.

So, I went to the cinema at Royal Tunbridge Wells, it’s an Odeon, or the one I went to is, there may be other cinemas available. The cinema has an Italian restaurant on the mezzanine floor, which was nice and saved having to go to a big-chain-edge-of-town restaurant. Here is my rating which I score on IMDB and you should read this communication if you don’t get how my system works.

I really enjoyed this film. It was funny, touching and terrifying at the same time. I thoroughly liked the original and this is a good follow on. T2 shows how films can be sequels without just re-running the original film. There were plot points that were similar but you can watch this without knowing the original.

The film looked great and the soundtrack was excellent as expected.

It is quite scary just how much the actors have changed while also looking exactly the same, the cutting from one film into another deals with this brilliantly. There is liberal use of the word “cunt” by Begbie and at times I almost needed subtitles for him.

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Assassin’s Creed

I went to see Assassin’s Creed at Rochester Cineworld. As is customary I have rated this film on IMDB and shared it via Twitter. For a discussion of my rating system please read this communication.

I honestly don’t know where to start. It was shit. Terrible. Really bad. There are places and times for a good old discussion about “The Problem Of Evil” and how freewill is involved [but not] but this film is not one of those places.

But then it was based on a game. Which I haven’t really played. Which, as far as I know, is quite good.

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Silence

I sauntered out to Rochester cinema last night to see Silence. I have, of course, rated this film on IMDB and you should read this communication about my rating scale. I went to see a showing that had the programme start at 20:40. This was a late night for me!

So, this was a long film, but didn’t actually feel that long. I enjoyed it a lot. I would recommend you see it. I am not sure I would watch it again, but it deserves an 8 on my scale. It is a thoughtful, slow, beautiful film with lots of torture and suffering.

I was mildly amused at the beginning of the film as right at the point that its name glares across the screen SILENCE there is no audio from the film but the doors to the auditorium were open and the noise of people outside in the foyer filled our room.

Having done a little Wikipediaring I have found that this is based on an historical fiction novel about the treatment of Roman Catholics in Japan during the 17th century. You will not be surprised to find that I do not understand that people would rather die through torture than recant their belief in a [possibly mythical] Jew from the middle-east who was likely a naughty boy. However, this is what they did and they died for their faith. As have many before and since. This, I can’t compute.

This film is worth watching. I will be watching Ghost In The Shell today because there is a live action version out soon!

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Rogue One (2)

Well, this is definitely a first for me. Re-reviewing a film. I wrote about this film in this communication. I stand by everything I wrote in that. However, I enjoyed the film much more the second time around. Perhaps I had already accepted all of the annoying things and just wanted to enjoy the film. I still think it’s worth a 6 on the IRPFS.

I watched the film this time at the Odeon in Guildford with two old friends. One of them reads this shoddy site, the other doesn’t. It was very nice to see them both. We went to a ten o’clock showing of this film, which was very similar to seeing it the first time. I wonder what it is with middle-aged men that we go to see films early in the day? I think it’s because we have other responsibilities and aren’t allowed out in the evenings because then bad things can happen!

What do you do after a film when you still have spare time? Go to a military museum, obviously.

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