Lee Cronin’s The Mummy

So, I took a trip to the cinema at Rochester [not Rochester] to see The Mummy, by Lee Cronin, not a reboot more a reimagining. But there are things to be written here before we get on with what I thought about the film. For some reason I mention the tide in these communications. I do know the reason I’m just not sure when I started doing this. I think I mentioned the tide to avoid mentioning the actual time I went to the cinema as I might have skipped off work or something a little earlier than I was meant to. The actual details are hazy now and so I mention the water levels in the river for completeness.

The picture was taken just before I entered the cinema. As you can see the water was lapping at the wharf edge and so the tide was high, probably at its highest. When I left the cinema the central river channel was obvious and the mudflats were prominent. After I watch a film at the cinema I rate it on IMDb, there are rules to this and there is a communication here that covers the system. I have started to rate every film I watch – so those on television / streaming – because I have, on occasion, found myself rewatching something I thought was rubbish but had forgotten about. It’s only about thirty minutes into the film that I realise I’ve already seen it. This especially occurs with rubbish science fiction films on Amazon Prime. So many films have storylines that seem familiar and so that’s why it can take a while to figure out if I’ve seen it before.

Lee Cronin's The Mummy - 4/10
Lee Cronin’s The Mummy – 4/10

This film scored 4/10 in my system. It was close to a six for a while as I was watching it but it got slightly too gross for 6 and I stopped caring about the people and so I only watched to the end just to see how they ended it.

My first though while watching this film was “I don’t think birds have that much blood in them”. I’m not really sure what that scene indicated. Perhaps the awakening of the demon. I know I always want to kill pet birds when I wake up. After that the film progressed mostly gently and it seemed fine. I liked the silence of the crashing aircraft but the fact the explosion sound was instantaneous to impact and we were viewing from over a kilometre away really annoyed me. Like really annoyed me. Explosion noises take time to travel to you or the camera – get it right Hollywood.

This film didn’t have the colour or fun of the previous Mummy film. It was dark and gross rather than bright and fun and not scary. I mean this one wasn’t scary. Some make up and odd noises isn’t really enough to make a film a bother. I know I’ve seen a few horror films recently and they don’t really do much to me. The worst I felt in this one was when one of the old ladies throws up. It made me gag a little which I thought was an interesting reaction. The rest of the film just seemed to rely on loud stupid noises and “creepy” looking children and make up. Mind you, I loved it when the small daughter called their teacher a “cunt”. Always nice to hear that word from the “innocent”. But, I hasten to remind you, it’s been done before. “Jesus fuck my cunt” I believe was in The Exorcist and that’s a really old film.

This film just wasn’t that scary. It seemed a touch slow as well. I don’t know. A lot of my opinions have probably changed over time and I’m being affected by watching things on streaming services. Perhaps once you’ve seen a lot of films you get to feel blasé about most new films unless they really tell an interesting story. I did comment to Smith the other day that the last film that really disturbed me was The Omen, the original when it was shown on Channel 4. That’s probably because I was young and hadn’t really dismissed supernatural stuff by then.

Akira (2026)

I recently went to the cinema at Rochester [Strood] to watch Akira, again. I have watched this film many times, firstly in the early 1990s and then whenever I feel like it. Smith and I went this time and this mirrored the time twelve years ago we watched it at the BFI. I also watched this film in 2020 when things were being shut down and cinemas were going to be closed for a long time. I’ve already rated this film on IMDb and so there’s no need for a rating here, but it obviously scores 10/10. I’ve seen it plenty of times and still really enjoy it. I did struggle a little this time with momentarily shutting my eyes in the last half hour of the film.

Akira - 2026
Akira – 2026

Fuze

I took a trip to the cinema just to go really. The selection of things to see wasn’t great otherwise I would have gone a few times this week. Part of me wants to watch The Magic Faraway Tree but I think I’ll choose a late showing to see that if I decide to go. Fuze was the only other film I considered worth seeing and that’s mostly because I knew nothing about it. There was a “secret screaming” show on Tuesday and I considered going to that but I’m not really a fan of horror films and it’d be even worse as I had no idea what this one could be.

On the way to the cinema I noticed that the tide was halfway and the river looked pretty as it was coloured red by the reflection of clouds in the east that were coloured that way because of the setting sun. It took me a while to figure out why the river was reddish and it turns out it’s a double reflection. After watching the film I rated it on IMDb and there’s a whole communication about how the rating system works.

Fuze - 6/10
Fuze – 6/10

I quite enjoyed this film. It was really nice to see London being represented for all the good things about London. I would say this is a classic heist movie. However, I didn’t really like the characters who were doing the robbery so that made the ending slightly harder for me. Perhaps the film managed to get the complexity of criminals presented quite well. I also thought there was too much double crossing going on to the point of the complexity of the plan made the outcome unlikely. Plans never work and there were just too many extra parts to this movie that didn’t quite make sense. However, it’s worth a watch and was quite good fun.

Project Hail Mary

I went to the Cineworld Cinema at Rochester to see this film. Apparently I went to an early preview because after watching the film I couldn’t rate it on IMDb and that’s a whole thing for me. I used to only rate films I saw at the cinema. But, over the last year I’ve been watching some terrible films on Amazon Prime and realised after wasting an hour that I’d seen them before. I’m a sucker for cheap science fiction films! So, now I try to rate everything I watch, cinema, films, series etc. I do this so I can see if I’ve watched a thing before and save wasting time and being disappointed (again). For instance I recently subjected myself to the Melania “film”. It was utter shit. Absolute shit. I will probably remember that I ‘ve watched that film but some cheap sci-fi films look the same. I did look at the level of the river when I drove to the cinema and it was definitely low.

After watching the film I eventually managed to rate it on IMDb. I have a communication from the dark, distant past where I explain how the rating system works. I rated this film 8/10. I’m not sure I’d pay to watch it again but I would watch it if it turned up in a streaming service.

IMDb Project Hail Mary 8/10
IMDb Project Hail Mary 8/10

This film is based on a book by Andy Weir. They’re the same person who wrote The Martian. I’ve read Project Hail Mary and I really enjoyed it. I know Andy Weir tries to make things as scientifically plausible as possible. They try to keep the tech within current knowledge and they specifically did that with The Martian. With this film, as it involves exotic matter from space, there are allowances made for the fuelling system. Also, there are going to be radiation shielding issues, but that’s minor really.

I thought this film was great. It stuck close to the book and that’s important as the book was well constructed and thought out. Possibly the film is a touch long, it was over two hours. But I know there are compromises to editing a film and it’s more likely this film got that correct. All the important stuff was there. All the major issues that I could remember from the book were present in the film. I guess I’d rather have a film with a coherent story that’s over two hours rather than something that’s a special effects promotion that adds little – think super hero films.

There was just enough humour in this movie. I laughed out loud a few times and that’s a good sign. There’s a certain humanity to the causes of humour, I think if you can make things funny then you’ve got a good view into the human condition.

The Bride!

I went to an early evening showing of The Bride! at Cineworld, Rochester. It’s a film that had been on my radar because it looked so colourful and designed. The river level was low upon entry to the cinema. After watching the film I rated it on IMDb, there’s an old communication that explains the rating system here. I rated The Bride! as 6/10.

The Bride! 6/10 on IMDb
The Bride! 6/10 on IMDb

I really enjoyed this film. I liked the visuals, the sound, the acting, all of it. I don’t think I’d watch it again though and that is why this gets a “6” from me. Sometimes when I watch a film I’m constantly thinking about what to write on this site. This process improves my watching experience and allows me to interact with the film rather than be a passive watcher. While watching The Bride! it took quite a way into the film for me to even think about what to write here. That means I was engaged and enjoying myself. I wasn’t trying to work out criticisms or trying to remember specific parts of the film to comment on here. This is genuinely a good film.

I liked the pro-women stance taken by the movie. The way it empowers the female cast at tells their story was really good, it’s well written. The only thing that bothered me, and I’m still not sure what it was there for, was Mary Shelley. The story didn’t need her. Maybe I’m wrong and it’s vital but I think it works without that. Jess Buckley was fantastic in this and her characterisation was amazing. Overall, a great film.

Sinners

I took a trip to the cinema. Cineworld are showing films that are nominated for awards so last night they showed Sinners which came out sometime last year but I missed it then. I think the tide was low as I drove along the promenade, I’m not really sure as it was quite dark, I think this was the latest I have been to the cinema for a while. On the way out I couldn’t really see either, oh well. I rated this film on IMDb and you should read this communication before ranting about the rating.

Sinners IMDb 8/10
Sinners IMDb 8/10

I really enjoyed this film. It took a surprise turn for me about half way through as I knew very little about the story. Lets take some things in order. First, I hadn’t realised the twins were played by the same person. This shows just what an amazing job they did filming the main characters. The differences between the characterisation and how they looked was amazing. The filming was perfect. I though they were just two actors who looked similar! I will admit that I’m not great at faces and struggle to describe people, maybe that helped the filmmaker.

The music in the film was stunning. The use of the blues in what felt like a historically accurate world was amazing. You could feel the music. The scene where the club opens and the music transitions through various genres, blending the visuals and sounds, left my jaw on the floor. It was so clever, so well filmed, so natural. It fitted exactly. It was impressive.

The film was a period piece and it felt utterly accurate. Now, I have no idea really what it was like in the 1930s. All I can say is that nothing removed me from that headspace. Even an electric guitarist turning up and wazzing away felt right. I was really impressed. Look, it was a great film.

Vampires. The surprise addition to what I thought was going to be a revenge film. At some point there was a strange scene involving someone turning up at a farmstead who was steaming – I hadn’t realised they were burning in the sun – and then they increase the clan membership by two. Some indigenous people show up and are refused access to the vampire because racism.

My general understanding of vampires used to be, before The Lost Boys, that they hated the cross and sunlight, also garlic. The Lost Boys opened me to the idea that a vampire needs to be invited into a building to be able to enter a home. To me, this is a “new” thing introduced by The Lost Boys. I hadn’t realised it was part of a longer lasting lore about vampires and it appeared in this film. It turns out that the whole invite thing is a very old tradition with vampires. Some older traditions have them impervious to sunlight! This film used garlic, invites, sunlight and the classic stake through the heart tropes. It was executed really well.

Some people left the cinema at the very start of the credits. I waited. I’m not sure why but I wasn’t in a massive rush to get anywhere. I’m glad I waited. There was a mid-credits scene that very nicely brought the whole story back together. It was a really nice touch.

Good Luck, Have Fun, Don’t Die

Fucking finally! I can write about a film I thought was excellent. First, let’s get through various formalities. I went to Rochester cinema, it wasn’t dark when I got there and the tide was high with wavelets lapping at the wharf. It was actually nice to see lots of water as over the last while it’s just been the mud banks. I rated this film on IMDb after I watched it and there is a system to the scoring so you should check out this communication.

Good Luck, Have Fun, Don't Die - IMDb 8/10
Good Luck, Have Fun, Don’t Die – IMDb 8/10

I really enjoyed this film. Along with Rental Family it was actually good. Pretty much every other film I’ve seen was shit or meh. This film had the right mix of action, craziness, emotion and humour. I really enjoyed it. Some parts of it were obvious and some were not. It worked well. All the actors were great. Here’s the thing, I found the film so engrossing that I didn’t sit there drafting my comments for this site. Normally I ponder ways to explain my feelings as the picture motions but that didn’t really happen. I just enjoyed watching and being part of the spectacle.

I suppose the film has a warning about social media and AI. Much like Mercy that I also watched recently. There’s a lot of discussion about what we should do about AI but no one really has the guts to enforce things. In this country the government is too in love with business and so it doesn’t appear to sit back and discuss the moral issues. Like many things I think schools will get the blame or instructions to do things deemed unpopular by most. I’m starting to be on the side of regulation and rules about social media etc. I’m starting to be wary. I’m definitely on the camp of “let’s regulate the shit out of AI” because I don’t think it is being used for the purposes of good. Anyway, that’s probably all for another day. I really enjoyed this film.

Mercy

I made the wrong choice of film to watch. The whole weekend was a disappointment of cinema attendance. I watched Iron Lung – one man in a submarine for two hours – and then I went to see Mercy instead of Shelter. The tide was low as I drove to the showing. After the film I rated this on IMDb and I gave it four out of ten. There’s a communication somewhere way back that tells you how the scoring system works.

Mercy - 4/10

I spent some time during this film wondering whether to leave or not. I was miffed at watching another film with just one person starring in a single location. It didn’t look good. Yes, there was the AI judge but it’s AI so doesn’t count as a person. I though Judge Maddox was looking rather Starbuck like during the film and I wonder if that’s the hairstyle and look Hollywood now associates with strong female characters.

Amusingly this film was financed by Amazon and it effectively is an argument against AI. The irony was not lost on me. The main actor, one of the Chris people, was OK in all this but hardly a likable character. A violent drunk who’s only conviction is that he wouldn’t hurt his wife. It’s OK the film tells us, there’s a good reason he’s a drunk. Bullshit, say I. You can’t write this stuff and make the guy likeable. I don’t think I mind him being an alcoholic, but he is a cop and a dick. Worse than that he’s an american cop and that makes him very dodgy. I didn’t care if he got killed or not by the state.

I was hoping to see an action film with stupid stunts. What I saw was a cheap film with no discussion of the morals of AI usage in the real world. Just the explosive outcome at the end of the film. Why would an AI judge have a face? Why would it be white? Why would it have emotions? Why would it glitch? Gosh, it’s a bad film.

Iron Lung

I went to the cinema to watch this film. I didn’t really know anything about it before I went except for submarine in sea of blood made by some You-Tuber. So, formalities first. The tide was very low when I entered the cinema, all of the mud banks were visible along with a few birds just having a rest. After watching this film I rated it on IMDb. The rating is below but before complaints there a communication here that explains the system.

Iron Lung 4/10 on IMDb

I didn’t walk out. Nor was I particularly interested in the character. I didn’t particularly find it scary or full of tension. I think I stayed because I was curious as to what devices they were going to use to keep the film moving. I think they succeeded in making me curious enough to see what happens. There were definitely times during the film that I was inspecting the lights on the walls of the theatre instead of paying attention because I don’t think much happened.

Why blood? I get it that this was based on a game. But blood does nothing to add to the film. Almost any liquid would work. Maybe blood is scary? I don’t know, I just wasn’t bothered by it.

Rental Family

I had another midweek journey to the cinema. It’s a nice thing to do. I enjoy the journey there, I enjoy the views near the cinema and I, hopefully, enjoy the film. While I’m waiting for the trailers to be over I read a book on my phone and at the moment I am reading about NASA’s contributions to flight since the inception of the NACA. I have completed the chapter about aerodynamics and this covered the contribution of Whitcomb including: the area rule for transonic drag reduction, the supercritical wing for transonic efficient flight, and the winglet to reduce induce drag. I’m now on a chapter about helicopters and NASA’s contributions to human knowledge about those machines.

For historical reasons I have to mention the state of the tidal part of the Medway here and I could see that the river was low so the tide was out. This seems to be the tidal-state for the last few times I’ve been to the cinema so I’m starting to think there might be a conspiracy. After watching this film I rated it on IMDb, there’s a communication here covering how the scoring works. While I was watching this film I really wanted to give it 8/10 because I really enjoyed it. But, according to my own rules I have to award it 6/10 because I’m probably not going to sit through it again.

Rental Family 6/10

I really enjoyed this film. It was touching, emotionally satisfying and overall just well made. There were a few times where I laughed out loud, the first time seemed inappropriate given that no-one else made a sound but I don’t care, it was funny. Japan looked amazing and even the rougher areas of Tokyo seemed exotic. It’s stunning to see Mount Fuji in the background of a few shots, I knew it was there but it’s shocking to see just how looming and pretty it is. The story of this film is happy and I enjoyed the characters journeys. It is a touching film that doesn’t moralise too much, although it does highlight the problems with strict social status and entrenched “traditional” views on society – I shan’t rant today.