Tag: Rochester

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Assassin’s Creed

I went to see Assassin’s Creed at Rochester Cineworld. As is customary I have rated this film on IMDB and shared it via Twitter. For a discussion of my rating system please read this communication.

I honestly don’t know where to start. It was shit. Terrible. Really bad. There are places and times for a good old discussion about “The Problem Of Evil” and how freewill is involved [but not] but this film is not one of those places.

But then it was based on a game. Which I haven’t really played. Which, as far as I know, is quite good.

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Silence

I sauntered out to Rochester cinema last night to see Silence. I have, of course, rated this film on IMDB and you should read this communication about my rating scale. I went to see a showing that had the programme start at 20:40. This was a late night for me!

So, this was a long film, but didn’t actually feel that long. I enjoyed it a lot. I would recommend you see it. I am not sure I would watch it again, but it deserves an 8 on my scale. It is a thoughtful, slow, beautiful film with lots of torture and suffering.

I was mildly amused at the beginning of the film as right at the point that its name glares across the screen SILENCE there is no audio from the film but the doors to the auditorium were open and the noise of people outside in the foyer filled our room.

Having done a little Wikipediaring I have found that this is based on an historical fiction novel about the treatment of Roman Catholics in Japan during the 17th century. You will not be surprised to find that I do not understand that people would rather die through torture than recant their belief in a [possibly mythical] Jew from the middle-east who was likely a naughty boy. However, this is what they did and they died for their faith. As have many before and since. This, I can’t compute.

This film is worth watching. I will be watching Ghost In The Shell today because there is a live action version out soon!

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Nocturnal Animals

Last night I moseyed to the Cineworld cinema at Rochester. I went to the Nocturnal Animals. When I booked this film I didn’t know anything about the film, I hadn’t seen a trailer and so took a punt with this one. There were two possible options for a film to see, Nocturnal Animals and The Accountant, upon inspecting the IMDB critics scores I decided to see the better one. I pay no attention to the scores given by cinema goers, oh the irony, it is clear that the public have no idea what is good for them as recent events will attest. Whenever the shout for power to the people is raised you just have to remember that Mr Blobby was christmas number one once. So, here’s my IMDB rating:

As is expected you should see this communication for an explanation of how my scoring system works.

I enjoyed this film. It was the second recent film to be set in West Texas and I’m now not sure if it is a place I would want to visit. Everyone out there seems strange. The opening of this film was interesting especially as I didn’t know a thing about it. The film was billed as a stylish and absorbing psychological noir thriller. I’m not entirely sure it was all that. It seemed more to be about a very sad woman who hates her life. The film was clever but not brilliantly so and the book that the main character reads comes to life in the film we see.

I’m going to do my best to not give any spoilers as I write this. There wasn’t any particular part of the film where I thought it was stupid or wanted to moan about it so that’s a good thing. I need to try and see real films more often, I think I have seen too many action or super hero films and they are a strange distortion of the cinema world. I don’t mind science fiction so much but they often do too much, they bend the rules so far [fine] and then SF films tend to do something silly and break the rules. I’m not sure that makes sense, whoops.

I probably would watch this film again. Amy Adams is pretty good and manages to show emotion without a great deal of verbal communication. The naked bum was a major motif throughout the film and the graphic matches were well done. It was a well made and constructed movie. I would like to think I would spot more “clever” stuff the second time around. Assuming there is a lot of clever stuff.

At one time the writer says that all writers write about themselves, what else can they know. It turns out this film director, Tom Ford, used to be a fashion designer. The film clearly states that this world and the world of art is superficial and bollocks. That seems perfectly reasonable to me.

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Doctor Strange

I sauntered out to Rochester cinema last night to see Doctor Strange. I have to admit the trailer didn’t really fill me with anticipation but it was recommended at work. Of course I rated this film on the IMDB and tweeted the result. You should probably read this communication about the rating system.

So, what did I think? It was alright. OK. Nothing special. Better than the trailer set out.

There were moments of humour.

I have some advice for film makers though. Just because your special effects can kaleidoscope a city that doesn’t mean you have to. I say that having never read any of the comics.

The fighting scenes were a little “Paul Greengrass” and could have been filmed better.

Oh, and the “mystic east” infuriates me. It just adds extra credence to those fools who peddle bullshit in the real world.

There, it was OK.

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Star Trek Beyond

Last night I went to Cineworld, Rochester to see Star Trek Beyond. It was a curious start to the film as the cinema showed trailers that were all kids’ animated movies and then the classification certificate showed up and said we were about to watch the BFG. After five minutes they had started projecting the correct film. I rated this on IMDB, as usual and here’s a communication that covers my rating system.

Now, you might think a 6 is a little low but film enjoyment is subjective so fuck off.

I saw this in 3D and I don’t like 3D. It adds nothing to a film. If you have good cinematography then you get depth of field from your standard projection, you don’t need 3D. It’s a big bad gimmick. My reaction to this may also be because I have a low 3D perception in these films, I seem less affected by 3D effects, they don’t really stand out much with me.

This film was OK. It had good effects and humour in the right places. I didn’t really like the action sequences. I think they suffered from Transformers Syndrome – too much shit going on at the same time. Just because we have CGI doesn’t mean using it more and more makes a film better.

Here There Be Spoilers

I didn’t like the bad character being human. And a war mongering human at that. A man so annoyed at peace after the wars that he wanted to destroy the human race. Fucking bullshit and lazy.

PHYSICS
We just have to assume that everyone has access to inertial drive technology. I can suspend my disbelief for physics, you get to break a couple of rules. I do wonder if the 5 Year Mission is relative to the Enterprise or to a Base station, given time dilation.

BREAKING THINGS
The Franklin, constructed in space and not meant for atmospheric travel works perfectly well after fifty years on an alien planet? Bullshit. Also, when they drop the Franklin off the cliff top they accelerate and then hit some rock towers on the way down. The ship absorbs these perfectly well like it was designed to smash through rock and mine diamonds. Hated it. The ship would have been torn apart from the first load of rocks. The Franklin hits about four of these mounds and just carries on with no problems. Utter crap. Curiously there was someone in the cinema behind me who was gasping whenever it hit the rocks, this I found amusing. It’s a Hollywood movie, of course they’ll be ok. It reminded me of the people gasping and crying at The Passion Of The Christ, such bullshit.

The Franklin then crashes into the Star City and everyone seems to survive. An entire quarter of the city is evacuated with absolutely no problems. The Franklin seems to be built like a brick-shit-house.

FIRE
When Kirk returns to the disk to collect the magic weapon the whole thing is on fire but he considers it safe to enter and wander around. Bollocks.

MOTORBIKE
Why? A motorbike that works perfectly after 50 years on another planet. Why? Why not a speederbike. Why not anything else? Also, Kirk can see a route down to the base through the caverns and chasms? Hated it.

STAR CITY DESIGN
Why would you design a spaceport that has a large tunnel for the starships to travel through to get to a docking area? The docking area would be somewhere to minimise potential damage to the Star City. Also, why is this tunnel only just wide enough for the Enterprise. There are surely going to be larger ships? Perhaps they have a Panamax type system. Seems very silly to me.

FUCKING USA NAMES
The Enterprise sums up the “American Dream”. Star City was called York Town and the other star ship was called the Franklin. Of these possibly Franklin is the only one with any merit but is really USA-centric. There are other greats of invention and leaders of countries. The arrogance to consider your names will be the names of the future.

Perhaps I’m reading too much into this whole film?

 

And . . . . calm.

I have tried to find my other reviews for the first two Star Trek films on this site and I can’t find them. I possibly didn’t write about them, I don’t know! I can remember reading a lot about the first reboot to try and make sense of why I didn’t really find it brilliant. Much like my issues with Prometheus.

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Ratchet And Clank

Tool a trip to see Ratchet and Clank [The Movie] at Rochester Cineworld. I’m feeling somewhat let down by this film. Anyway, before looking at a Parish Rating you should read this communication about my rating system. As is custom I have also shared my rating using twitter.

This film was a disappointment. Especially after playing the game quite a bit!

The game is brilliant. It’s just about my level of intelligence and playability. I really liked “A Crack In Time” or whatever it was called and I thoroughly enjoy and love the latest game.

The game is based on the film which is based on the game. The problem is that the game is much much better than the film. I wouldn’t recommend any one to see the film. Such a shame really it could have been brilliant.

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The Legend Of Tarzan

I went to the Cineworld cinema at Rochester to see The Legend Of Tarzan. As usual I have rated this film on IMDB and if you aren’t sure of my rating system then you should see this communication.

I thought the film was enjoyable. A good romp with those pesky colonial Belgians in charge. I was largely impressed with the CGI animals, very impressive and realistic. The story was ok but nothing special. My one quibble would be with the physics of swinging on vines and catching a train doing so, simply unrealistic, but a minor infraction for this particular film. I guess I should read the book.

By the way, the first corner at Zandvoort race track is called Tarzan. It is named after the man whose garden was used to create that part of the track.

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Ghostbusters

I took a wander out to Rochester Cineworld cinema last night and watched Ghostbusters. I had to see it in 3D to get a convenient start time, I don’t like 3D I don’t think it adds anything to films and is very much a gimmick, a well-made film will be well-made whatever and doesn’t need 3D. Anyway, I rated this film on IMDB, please see this communication regarding my rating system.

So, this is quite a high rating from me. Essentially I really enjoyed the film. I thought it was well made and funny. The story was OK. I’d probably see this again if it appeared on TV, hence my rating of 8.

This was an enjoyable couple of hours. I’m not going to go into specific points or plot areas. Everyone surely knows the story. I will say that when I was walking towards the car and rating this on IMDB I saw that it had a terrible average “user” score. A score which was much lower than the “critics” metascore. This was quite strange as normally its the other way around. I wonder if loads of old people saw the film first and then rated the film, unable to remove the genius of the original film. Who knows.

For whatever reason I managed to spill some of my onions and tomato sauce from my hotdog onto my lap and so I spent most of the trailers and (shitty) adverts trying to clean my phone/lap/seat.

Addenda:

A chap at work said he didn’t think the film would be any good because the main characters were played by women. However he then claimed that he wasn’t being sexist. I explained that what he said was the absolute definition of being sexist!

I went to see the original Ghostbusters when it came out in 1742. I remember I really enjoyed it. I also bought “Ghostbusters” the single by Ray Parker Jr as well as the 12″ remixed version. The soundtrack to the film was the first album I ever bought and I can remember my mum saying to me that I had to be sure I wanted it as it was expensive and did I know I would like all the songs? Well, she was right about albums being expensive (probably about £2) but how was I meant to have listened to all the songs without owning the album yet? I bought it. I enjoyed it.

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Black Widow

Went to look around Rochester Castle and Cathedral. I’d not been in the cathedral before and I was impressed, but then that’s the point of them. They are meant to intimidate you into believing a load of bollocks. It was strange as the organ was being tuned up and so added a creepy scary atmosphere. I mean, more of a creepy atmosphere than a whole building dedicated to the murder of a Jew, who possibly didn’t even exist.

So, there was a submarine in the river. This was somewhat of a surprise as I’d never noticed it before.

Black Widow
Black Widow

A quick Google tells me this is U-475, a Soviet era submarine called Black Widow. I could write stuff here but you could just visit the Wikipedia page here. Apparently this sub has been here for over ten years, but I have to say she’s not always been moored off Strood or I would have definitely noticed her before now. It’s an impressive sight. Not quite as impressive as the Raid On The Medway must have been, those pesky Dutch!

Rochester Bridge got in touch via Twitter:

Cathedral
Cathedral

It’s the cathedral. Lovely but useless.

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Captain America: Civil War

You know me by now. If there’s a big film then I’m likely to see it. Except for Batman V Superman that I couldn’t care about. I’m not that big on superhero films and I can’t quite figure out why. I remember the “first” Batman by Tim Burton and leaving thinking “meh” or whatever the early 90s version of “meh” was. I think now I recognise it as brilliant but not so much back then. Perhaps it’s Batman films? I don’t enjoy them.

Avengers Assemble was different, it had a good script, good action and a good director. I really enjoyed it. Some of the other superhero films have been OK, mostly the Marvel ones, although I don’t like the Spiderman films either. Perhaps it’s a solo-crime-fighter thing? I am very not sure.

So, to this. I watched this at Rochester Cineworld and rated this on IMDB. You should see this communication about my rating system, which I broke for God’s Not Dead 2.

I guess there needs to be a slight explanation as I feel this could be controversial, not that I care. The film was OK. Nothing special. Really, I mean that, nothing special. I enjoyed one bit and that was the fight scene at the airport. I only like that because there was humour. My overall impression was that there was too much fighting, one on one. Yes, I know it was called Civil War and war involves fighting, but there was too much in this film.

That’s it really. I don’t have a lot else to say. Except this should have been called Avengers 3. It was mostly an Avengers story.

Tony Stark would seriously want more regulation? Seems improbable, he’s an arse and totally self-interested.

Why, when fighting Ironman, do people swing at his chin? Why use a fist. I don’t understand.

Also, every time Ironman lands his body would be broken apart inside the suit through the deceleration.

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