How to light a fire

Photos to be included soon.

When I was a lad we didn’t have any fancy central heating and radiators, oh no. Coal fire in the front room and a Rayburn (think cheap Aga) in the dining room. The Rayburn was always on and in winter we would move the tv into the dining room so there was only one room to heat. As soon as you got out of bed or the bath you’d run to the dining room as quick as you could.
The only winter day in the lounge was Christmas day. We’d move the tv back for the day and the tree and presents would be in there. It was my job to start the coal fire in the lounge. It was nice to have the responsibility.
I’m worried that starting a fire is a dying skill. Mind you it’s just not really needed anymore. Central heating and all that! Unlike, say, changing a wheel, surely all people can and have done this for practice but people I’ve spoken to have no idea about this. I will be doing this for fun with my sons when they are older.
So the easiest way to get a fire going requires a little time to set up but you save time in the long run having to start again.
Take some news paper, lay it flat and then gather up along the fold line so it’s bow shaped and then fold in half and put these pieces under the grate (these are the bits you light).
Now take more newspaper and lay it flat. Then roll into a pipe about 2cm in diameter along a diagonal of the rectangle. Now take your tube and tie it in a loose knot and even out the circle. Place these on top of the grate to cover the surface. These will light the kindling.
The kindling should be places in a check pattern on top of the paper circles. A couple of layers should be enough.
Lastly get some coal, without too much dust, and place a layer evenly on the kindling. The kindling should be placed so no lumps of coal can fall onto the paper circles. That’s it!
Get a match and light the paper under the grate in a few places and your fire will start beautifully.

A Gift

A gift from a submariner uncle to his nephew. A set of Royal Navy Submariner Dolphins. I’m sure #1 will love it.

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Annual Camp

So, for many years I was involved with the Air Cadets. I joined the band of 309 (Sawbridgeworth) Sqn when I was twelve and a half and then joined the squadron properly when I was thirteen and a half. I left when I went to university when I was 19, although I did two stints as a Civilian Instructor. I look back fondly on my time in the cadets and had so many great experiences that I think it really changed my outlook on life during my formative years. I’ll do another more comprehensive post about my cadet career another time but this post is just to list the official annual camps I attended.

  • 1986 RAF Coltishall
  • 1987 RAF Brize Norton
  • 1988 RAF Coningsby
  • 1989 RAF Swanton Morley
  • 1991 RAF Waddington
  • 1993 RAF Manston (attended as a CI)

Also in 1988 I attended a two week camp at RAF Akrotiri in Cyprus.

It’s dark

Many recent blog posts means lots of time? Wrong!
I’m sitting in the dark making sure son #2 doesn’t roll off the bed. Both sons are asleep and we’ll get them up in a bit but #2 is on the bed and I don’t want him to crash to the floor. It is nice and quiet at the moment but #1 is stirring and that’ll be the end of “time I can’t do anything useful and I’m bored of Angry Birds so I’ll jot some posts”.
The kids are great but I sometimes miss the routine of the same thing every day. We now spend our time wondering whether to wake them up, feed them, play with them, let them watch tv, bathe them, put them to bed, drive them to sleep, get the colouring pens out, go shopping, see the animals, do some throwing in the air, tickle them or sleep ourselves. It’s brilliant and exciting.

Twitter and buses

Twitter followers are like buses. You don’t get any for ages and then along come two old friends all at once.
Nice to hear from you Pom – going to be a regular tweeter?
Good to get Daffyd following me. Perhaps my website will get more views.
Now I just need about a million more and I’ll be just like Stephen Fry, although without the tv career, writing abilities, height and coolness.

Range Rover

So, too much to write about recently and not enough time. Anyway here’s a long sorry short: been trying to buy a nicely coloured Range Rover model for a gift. Gold, dark blue or black would suit. Good news: Play.com have gold RR for sale and reduced in price. Order it. Check it after arrival and it’s red and a mid 90s model. Organise the return because picture on Play.com website was gold. Order another RR from Amazon.co.uk and although full price it says Range Rover Sport Gold Edition with a picture of a gold RR newer edition. It arrives and upon checking it’s red. So now going to return that one for a refund. I get the feeling that they don’t actually check the products and pictures because the red Range Rover is from the Gold Collection of the model company.
Poor work Internet shopping companies. Going to head to a Range Rover dealer and buy one from them!

Holiday in Australia – 2006

A run down of what we did in summer 2006. Photos here.

July 2006

25 Leave Heathrow to Brisbane via Singapore
27 Arrive Brisbane, Mount Coot-tha, ants in phone
28 Mount Nebo, Mount Glorious for lunch, Queensland Raceway (Ipswitch), The Gap shopping, travel to Rainbow Sands via Gimpia
29 Car hire – Rainbow Beach, Ferry – Inskip Point, Lake Boomanjin, Lake Birrabeen (the best), Lake McKenzie, Eurong Second Valley
30 Maheno wreck, Lake Allom, Boomerang Lake, beach drive to ferry, beach drive around Inskip Point to Rainbow Beach
31 Glass House Mountains, Australia Zoo,

August 2006

1 Mount Glorious for lunch, Brisbane centre by bus, Sun Corp Piazza, Plough Inn, San Marco (dinner)
2 Lone Pine Koala Sanctuary. Surfer’s Paradise, lunch – burger, Ben Elton at Queensland Performing Arts Centre
3 Fly to Sydney, land at 13:45, cab to Hotel Stellar, dinner at Circular Quay
4 Blue Mountains: Govett’s Leap, Scenic World, Three Sisters, Pie at bakehouse (Leura), Table Top View, Olympic village and stadium,ferry to Circular Quay, dinner in the Subway on Oxford St
5 Sydney SkyTower, Oz Trek, Pasta lunch at Grinders Coffee, The Hanging of Jean Lee at the Sydney Opera House
6 Ferry from Circular Quay to Rose Bay, seaplane flight to Cottage Point, Lunch at cottage point Fritata, quai. Beef, venison. Poached pears, creme brulee. Flight over harbour to Rose Bay. Ferry back
7 Drink at pub, WW won $34. Sydney Harbour Bridge climb, train from Circular Quay to museum stop (moving seats)
8 Fly to Ayres Rock land at 12:40. Sounds of silence dinner
9 Bus to Uluru, walked around ¾ of Uluru, Mount Conner in 4×4
10 Fly to Melbourne arrive 14:30. Casino and dinner by the river
11 Lunch at PMs. Tram into town and see Essenden Bombers play Aussie Rules at the MCG
12 Great Ocean Road. Bell’s Beach, Erskine Falls, Teddy’s Lookout, Grey’s Road Koalas, Lunch at Apollo Bay, Helicopter flight over the 12 Apostles, London Bridge, Loch Ard Grove
13 Breakfast at Velvet Bar, motorbike racing at Phillip Island circuit. The Nobbies, Penguin Parade
14 Watched Munich and V for Vendetta
15 Ramsey Street, Lunch at Hillsville, Green Point Chandon Vineyard
16 Lunch at Tall Ships Cafe, Tram into town, observation deck Rialto Tower
17 Arthur’s Seat, Cape Schanck, leave Melbourne fly to Heathrow via Hong Kong
18 Arrive Heathrow 14:00

Glosssary

A glossary of terms used within this website.

ww – wonderful wife
#1 – son number one
#2 – son number two
GT5 – Gran Turismo 5 for the PS3
PS3 – Sony Playstation, third version. A delight.
MGS – Maidstone Grammar School

Shrooms

Check out these mushrooms! Saw them in the park or rec as people down here call them. Dog in picture for size reference although I could have photoshopped it. BTW it’s my policy never to mess around with pictures apart from cropping and rotating. It should be right from the start!

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Blogtime

I’m so busy at the moment I just don’t have time to write anything for the blog. I am aware that this post is now a logical contradiction but I’ll keep writing.
Work is busy and having two kids means there’s no time for anything at home. Although I wouldn’t have it any other way.
In the mean time have a look at a web page with some Wackos. Only a few, mind. Given the billions of humans on the Earth the wacko total is probably quite high.
Gallery of Wackos

Mobile Phones

I have owned a number of mobile phones and most of them were rubbish. Going to give you a rundown of them from the earliest.
Phone number 1 – sometime in 1999 or so:
Brick
The Ericsson A1018

The order of the next few phones is not remembered easily. But here goes:
O2 X1

The next was:
A200

then:
Nokia 3210

And then the nifty fold-out keyboard:

Nokia 6280 Nokia 6230

Then we get to the first smart phone:

Nokia N70

Then the brilliant and pretty usable N95, it was the last Nokia I owned that worked well:

Nokia N95

Then the big memory but pretty useless N97:

Nokia N97

Finally, a phone that works. The iPhone 4. Until then the iPhone specification was pretty rubbish. It took a lot of soul searching to convince myself that selling out to the walled garden of Apple was worth it. However, I have to say that the iPhone is brilliant. It works!

iPhone 4

Talk Talk Part 3

This will probably come as a bit of a surprise but I have been really impressed with Talk Talk. I know that they have most complaints out of the media providers bt I haven’t had any issues.
Download speeds in the evening used to be crippling. It just wasn’t worth trying to download any large files and almost not worth browsing the internet. However, since moving to Talk Talk our evening download speeds have really improved. What I do not know is whether that is down to Talk Talk or some other changes that have been made with the infrastructure in our area. The thing is I can’t be bothered to see which it is.
Now I’m looking forward to downloading iOS5 this evening and getting my iPhone up to date.

Death of the PS3

So it happened again. My re-conditioned 60Gb PS3 from Sony has died. We were watching Wall-E on blu-ray and we got about 2 minutes into the film when:
Pvvvvvvvvvvvvv
The Ps3 turned off and the red light just flashed. The unit is still under warranty and so will be replaced with another re-conditioned 60Gb model, which is good because that is a classic model.
WW agreed I can suggested that I buy a brand new PS3 as well. So Amazon had a great deal on a 320Gb version bundled with a game and blu-ray movie. So until it arrives I am in limbo.
I managed to get the GT5 game save file copied when I tried turning on the PS3 to check it was FUBAR.
Updates later.

Tues 3 Oct
New 320Gb PS3 arrived with Resistance 3 and a blu-ray film. Plugged in and now vertical next to AV amp. Looks very nice. I have noticed though that the disc grabbing motor is much noisier than the old version, the disc reader motor makes a bit of noise and the buttons are real buttons rather than touch sensitive. However, the fan noise is much quieter and so much preferable.
Firmware update completed and GT5 save file copied after a bit of hassle. I’d been saving game files on a SD card because the 60Gb has lots of lovely memory card slots. Had to transfer the files to a USB memory stick using my PC before I could get them onto the new PS3.

Weds 4 Oct
Installed lots of the extra GT5 files onto the PS3 to reduce load times. That took about 40 minutes. Planing to install every game I’ve bought from the store over next few weeks as I now have the space for them. Also looking forward to DLC for GT5 by end of October.
PS3 stand arrived so I don’t have to worry about it falling over. It’s much thinner than the old version and so less stable. Now have a few more USB ports and some snazzy blue LED lights if I want to impress WW.
Old reconditioned 60Gb now taken and on its way to console heaven. Just waiting for the return of the next one.

Fri 7 Oct
New old PS3 delivered. Sony have kindly replaced my recondition PS3 with another (although it was within warranty). I have not yet checked it works as I need to be free of children to do it. New PS3 is wired in so this 60Gb will have to wait until half term.

Tues 11 Oct
GT5 version 2 download released and so very excited. Just waiting for DLC.

Cars

We tried searching for films suitable for a sensitive 2 year old and all the interwebs came up with were:

  • Winnie The Pooh
  • Cars
  • So we bought Cars from eBay.
    It’s brilliant. The sons love it and have watched it about 10 times in the last week.
    As expected from Pixar this film is really well written and directed. The artwork is fantastic and the detail is awesome.
    I said to wonderful wife that I thought the cars suspension moves the wrong way when they go around corners. She replied

    that’s your issue with a film with talking cars?

    Fair enough. Although I guess they could have cool active suspension so the side of the car on the inside of the corner is lower rather than higher than expected. Essentially a car rolls to the outside of the corner not the inside, hey you could have cool lever linkage also!
    Anyway, great film and sons obsessed with racing cars! Brilliant.

    Tesco are rubbish

    I had to take a toy back to Tesco as I had found it 20% cheaper at Argos and Tesco say you can just change your mind and return an item. So I checked the T&Cs at the back of the catalogue and took the required items back to Tesco Grove Green.

    • The product with original packaging
    • The order confirmation email

    from the catalogue

    My wife had ordered the toy and paid using her card but she was out that day but the catalogue and email said the card wasn’t necessary.

    I go to Tesco and hand back the toy and show the email.

    Do you have the card used to pay for the toy?

    No, was my reply. The instructions in the catalogue say you don’t have to bring it back with you.

    It will say somewhere in the email that you need to bring the card. You always need the payment card when you return items.

    After looking through the email, I suggest that the person serving me have a look as it says exactly the same as the catalogue: just bring the product and the email confirmation. Could I possibly have the returned money as a giftcard?

    yes, but only this once and as a goodwill gesture.

    My problem with this is that if the return instructions had said I needed the payment card then I would have taken it. Why was I made to feel like an idiot when I was following instructions from Tesco.
    The person serving me refused after that point to look at me. I was trying to point out that perhaps she could talk to someone senior about the fact that the emails and catalogue are wrong. I tried to say this in as helpful manner as possible but obviously failed.

    Tesco: you have messed up.

    The origin of wine

    A foible of mine:

    I only buy and drink wine from regions I have visited

    Fortunately I have been to Bordeaux and other great wine producing areas but I just decided about a year ago that I might as well impose a restriction just for the hell of it. Should someone offer me wine then I will drink it from anywhere. For me, this rule just makes choosing wine a little more interesting.
    Places I can’t drink:

    • South America
    • North America (apart from Florida)
    • Asia (apart from Hong Kong and Singapore)
    • Africa

    Individual areas that I can drink:

    • Most of France
    • Bits of Spain
    • Cyprus
    • South East Australia
    • Southern Portugal
    That’s about it. Hey, as the Great Sheldon said “if your going to have foibles you might as well make them bizarre”.

    Bands I have seen

    This is a memory test. Trying to list the bands I have seen live. I guess this page will be edited as I remember the hazy days of long ago before children.

    1st Concert
    Iron Maiden (support: White Dwarf) 10 December 1988, Wembley Arena

    After that:
    AC/DC, Wembley Arena, Donington, Wembley Stadium
    Aesthetic Perfection, The Underworld
    Alice in Chains, Cambridge Corn Exchange twice, Download ’13
    Asking Alexandria, Wembley Arena
    Bon Jovi, Wembley Arena, Wembley Stadium, Twickenham
    Bullet For My Valentine, Wembley Arena
    Combichrist, Wembley Arena
    Dan Reed Network, Wembley Arena
    Diamond Head, Milton Keynes Bowl
    Elvis Presley (kind of), Wembley Arena
    Evile, Brixton Academy
    Faith No More, Wembley Stadium
    Gary Moore, Wembley Arena
    Great White, Wembley Arena
    Guns ‘n’ Roses, Wembley Stadium twice and Milton Keynes Bowl
    Iron Maiden, Cambridge Corn Exchange twice and Earls Court
    Jose Gonzalez, Shepherds Bush Empire
    Killing Joke, O2 Academy Islington
    King’s X, Wembley Arena
    KMFDM, O2 Academy Islington
    Level 42 (the shame), Wembley Arena
    Lostprophets, Brixton Academy
    Madonna, Wembley Stadium
    Megadeth, Wembley Arena, Cambridge Corn Exchange, Milton Keynes Bowl, Brixton Academy
    Metallica, Wembley Arena, Earls Court, Donington, Milton Keynes Bowl
    Ministry, Brixton Academy
    Motley Crüe, Wembley Arena, Donington
    Nine Inch Nails, Wembley Stadium, Brixton Academy
    Prince, Earls Court
    Peter Green – Chatham Theatre
    Queensryche, Donington
    Rammstein, Wembley Arena
    Senser, Portsmouth somewhere, Underworld
    Skid Row, Wembley Arena, Wembley Stadium
    Slayer, Wembley Arena Earls Court
    Suicidal Tendencies, Wembley Area
    Testament, Wembley Arena, KoKo
    The Almighty, Cambridge Corn Exchange, Milton Keynes Bowl
    The Black Crowes, Donington, Brixton Academy
    The Darkness, Wembley Arena
    Treponem Pal, O2 Academy Islington
    Ugly Kid Joe, Wembley Stadium
    UK Subs, The Square
    Van Halen, Wembley Stadium
    Wat Tyler, The Square
    White Lion, Wembley Arena
    Winger, The Astoria
    Wolfsbane, Cambridge Corn Exchange twice, The Marquee
    Yngwie Malmsteen, Shepherds Bush Empire

    For the Download 2013 list click here.

    Negative Quesitons

    This is another of those annoying language things that stems from my rather literal language processing unit. See my previous post about starting letters. I am not far enough into the spectrum to follow instructions or comprehension literally but I do struggle trying to answer negative questions in a true manner. Once again there common usage issues that I believe to be amazingly wrong but most people seem to accept them.

    If something is amazing then the following:

    Is that an amazing aircraft manoeuvre?

    is easy to answer. Yes for agreeing with the statement and no for disagreeing. However the question:

    Isn’t that an amazing aircraft manoeuvre?

    is remarkably hard to answer. I believe the vernacular is to answer “yes” if I am saying that it is an amazing manoeuvre. But if I answer “yes” then I think I am agreeing with the statement which is

    Is that not an amazing manoeuvre?

    and that reverses the meaning of my answer. Arrrrggghhh! Similarly other questions can confuse me enough that I answer very differently. So, if I had just seen an amazing manoeuvre then the following would be the conversation:

    “wasn’t that an amazing manoeuvre?”
    “It was amazing”

    This means I have not answered an impossible question and also managed to keep my head from exploding with diverse logic implications.
    Other examples are:

    “aren’t you going to the cinema?”
    “isn’t that band great?”

    So, please don’t ask me perfectly normal questions, it just hurts.