Tag: Rochester

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Avengers: Infinity War

After hearing from plenty of people that Infinity War was really good I thought I should go and see it. Even when I have said “I don’t like superhero movies anymore” they still seemed insistent that this film was worth it. So I went to Rochester to see Infinity War. The tide was waning but still quite high at 19:00 last night.

Rochester
Rochester

Once I came out of the film I rated it on IMDB, as is my custom. I had to think a while because I was thinking about what single number could offer my sum total of thoughts and sometimes that’s a hard thing to do. There’s a communication somewhere about what these numbers mean.

There are two versions of this review. The first, tldr, is below:

Whatever.

 

The second is more subtle but will make a mild attempt to expand on my thoughts in the tldr version:

The first ten minutes had me confused that I was watching the wrong movie. It started with a fight off world straight away and I was a little lost. After that the pattern was

  1. Have a scene with a few quips.
  2. Have a big fight.
  3. Repeat.

Thanos seems to have a rather Malthusian view of the universe and I have to say I agree with him. I would go further than halving the population though because EXPONENTIAL GROWTH. He sets out with a good plan.

The glove is just a glove.

About three of the male characters had beards and I COULDN’T tell them apart. I think that one is on me, I really struggle with faces sometimes.

Is one of the stones the All Spark from the Transformers movies? Have I spelt that correctly?

I don’t think nano-tech works the way the film shows it happening.

Were the dog things from Resident Evil??

Bashing people into buildings is really important.

Also, this film shows us that hitting people is important and fighting is the solution to everything.

I could have quite happily left this movie as I didn’t care about anything in it.

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Deadpool 2

Yesterday evening I journeyed to watch Deadpool 2 at the Cineworld cinema in Rochester. The tide was very definitely low, I could see deep channels in the mud banks along the edge of the river and I was reasonably surprised at spotting them, they aren’t something I’d noticed so much before.

It is customary for me to rate films I see on IMDB and then tweet the result. You might want to read the comments on my rating system contained within this communication.

Look, I’m really off superhero movies. I just do’t find them interesting. You could say I’m continually searching for the ONE that breaks new ground. The one that merges three genres and everyone goes “holy shit! That is the film we were waiting for!”. I haven’t seen that film yet.

This Deadpool film was much like the first. It’s a superhero film with naughty words and some gore. It’s not clever and it doesn’t make it grown up [says the man who swears too much]. I’m not even sure the plot was up to much. There was some time travel aspects and trying to keep that in line is hard work and this film fails at that. Yes, I guess I laughed sometimes, but I think that’s only because of the swearing and sarcasm. This isn’t a good film in the genre of “film”, this is just the naughty boy in the corner.

At one point the word “cunt” was used in this film. I had thought at the beginning that I better hear that word at least once for this to be a decent film and they managed it. This usage of that word didn’t elevate the status to decent though. What surprised me was the gasps of surprise in the rows behind me when cunt was used. I don’t understand why people are shocked when they hear it. I guess the social-causing aspects of this film make it interesting. But not good.

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Rampage

Went to the cinema this evening to see Rampage. Now, I hadn’t seen any of the trailers – I don’t tend to watch them. All I had was the film poster. Before the film I went for a walk along the wharf, not a Worf that would be weird, and noted that the tide was neither in nor out. There was a low level bubbling sound from the mud banks slowly draining their contained water, it was a relaxing sound.

Tidal Medway
Tidal Medway

As is usual I rated this film on IMDB. You should see this guide to the system within this communication.

It was a terrible film and got worse as it went on. I didn’t even notice one of the main plot points although the camera shot at that exact spot struck me as strange but I didn’t work out why they had done that. I had to ask my neighbour at the end of the film how the antidote got into George.

Chicago didn’t look a whole lot different at the end of the film. Still a trashy place.

The tide was in when I left. The water level was higher than two hours previously.

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Paddington 2

The other day I took a trip to Rochester cinema along the esplanade. For some reason these communications now have references to the state of the tide as I visited. I’m not sure when this started but I do know it was used as a coded reference to the time of day I went. So, if you can find my first reference to the tide then you can work out what time I went to see that particular film. Instead of telling you I can show you what the tide was like:

Medway Tide
Medway Tide

Normally all the green in the foreground is covered with water at high tide. Maybe next time I’ll get a shot of the mud flats?

Anyway, I went to see Paddington 2. I haven’t seen the first one, maybe I should watch that now? But I can say I enjoyed this film. Here’s my scoring tweet:

So, I really enjoyed this film. This and Jumanji have helped me get over the December slump and the mess that was Star Wars. Paddington 2 was a delightful little film full of the great and good of British film and television. It was, essentially, a very clever little film using all the techniques and plots from cinema over time. It was a detective story, a story about adoption and family, a story about identity and immigration, a prison break, a musical, a cop caper, and also a train race with a circus and treasure.

The humour in this film was carefully used and suitable for all ages. Overall this was a great little film and deserves to do well.

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Star Wars – The Last Jedi

YOU ARE WARNED: There may be spoilers ahead. I don’t know yet. I haven’t written this article!

A few days ago I went to the Rochester Cineworld Cinema by the river Medway to see the latest Star Wars film and I have waited a few days before writing this as it could have been a very negative review and I didn’t want to put my dear readers off the film [unlikely].

I’m not sure about the state of the tide this time as it was dark and I didn’t pay attention as I drove along the esplanade. I have rated this film on the IMDB website and I think it gained two stars from my immediate reaction as I left the theatre. Read this communication to get an idea of scale.

And, on to the important bit:

I walked out of this movie really pissed off with it. In the initial battle [YOU WERE WARNED] why did Dameron continue to attack the Dreadnought? He is fucking stupid and shouldn’t be a leader of troops. Why do space ships have to attack in a straight line? Why didn’t the Star Destroyers just shoot the Rebel ship? Surely you disable the enemy’s escape plan first then finish them on the surface? Why do the bombers drop bombs as if there is gravity? I have so many more questions about the military tactics of the film. It was all very much lambs to the slaughter. If I rated the film when leaving the cinema I would have given it a 4! Hence I wrote this communication.

A day later I spoke to a friend about the film. He said it was pretty good fun. I wasn’t sure I agreed. We ranted about all the stupid plot elements and how much of it didn’t make sense. It took a good 40 minutes of us ranting to iron out the problems with this film. That’s not a good sign. I don’t have the time or inclination to write it all here. Clearly my problems with the opening sequence are pretty bad and I’ve not even put them all down!But, here’s the thing:

IT’S JUST A STAR WARS FILM

It’s not meant to be brilliant. It’s meant to make money. I let go of Star Wars a few years after episodes 1-3 were released because I just couldn’t stand the constant disappointment. I haven’t learnt really either!

So, here’s the best bit:

IT’S STILL MUCH MUCH AND MORE LOADS BETTER THAN EPISODES I, II, and III

I have, over the last week, relaxed in my view of this film. Yes, there was loads of bullshit and plots that were shit. The humour was OK and I quite enjoyed that. I even quite liked the porgs. So, I have rated this film an 8. I will watch it again and try to be less bothered by plot and serious things and just try to enjoy the cinematic experience.

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Rare Event

Last night I went to see Blade Runner 2049 again. I’m not sure the of the last time I went to see a film twice at the cinema. I definitely saw True Lies twice and there are some others I have seen deliberately twice, normally with friends. I think I watched Star Wars 3.5 and it was better on the second viewing.

If I could rate this film again I would still give it 10/10 I love it.

The pace, the cinematography, the look and feel of this movie are all brilliant. It makes such a change to have a lovely, gorgeous pretty film that works at a sensible pace. I know there’s CGI but plenty of it just fits. I loved the whole thing and I look forward to sitting with my family in the future and watching this.

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Kingsman: The Golden Circle

I spent a lovely Saturday afternoon on a slightly wobbly chair in Rochester cinema watching the latest Kingsman movie: The Golden Circle. The tide was about halfway. I’m not sure if it was coming in or leaving. This morning on my run it looked as though it was coming in. Have just used the UK Hyographic Office Tide Predictor.

Rochester Tide
Rochester Tide

That picture shows how little I know or perhaps I just can’t remember a lot about the state of the river when I see it! I’m not really sure when this whole tide-cinema thing started. I know I was attempting to indicate the time of day that I went to the cinema but I can’t remember why I wanted to be so obscure.

I also rated this film on IMDB, please read this communication about the ratings system. I then “share” my scoring with twitter and those who follow me there:

I should probably explain what I liked about the movie. Well, it’s a good action comedy romp around the world. I laughed and found the whole film an enjoyable experience. There’s a lot of blood and gory ways to die. But then there are great actors who all look like they are enjoying themselves.

I actually wrote some notes down at the end of the film as I was sure I’d forget some things. I usually try and hold on to my snarky comments as I drive home ready to type this, but there were some nice touches through the film that made me smile.

  • I liked the dogs’ eyes and how they looked modelled on Cylons and KITT.
  • Elton John was actually pretty awesome.
  • The graphic matches from scene to scene were lovely.
  • Above the Kingsman shop there was a Blue Plaque to a physicist.
  • Jeff Bridges’ character isms when smelling or tasting the whiskey were really funny while subtle.

Tomorrow I am heading into town and if I have time, I’m off to see the blue plaque.

Richard Bright blue plaque.jpg
By Gareth E Kegg – Own work, CC BY-SA 4.0, Link

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Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie

Travelled to see Captain Underpants this morning. I went to Rochester and then after the film I rated it on IMDB. You can read my rules for the rating system in this communication. I posted the rating on Twitter.

I found this film to be very enjoyable. I’d possibly even watch it again if it was on TV and I’d definitely go and see any sequels. The story was silly and stupid but the friendship and humour displayed was truly affectionate. It’s a story about friendship more than anything else and I really liked it.

There’s not really a great deal more for me to say about it. I enjoyed it.

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Baby Driver

Yesterday, I took the vehicle to Medway Valley Leisure Park to watch Baby Driver. The tide was low. I don’t know how much leisure you need to be a leisure park but there is:

  • Cinema
  • McDonalds
  • Bowling
  • Bingo
  • Hotel
  • Gym
  • More restaurants

That’s probably enough to make it a “park”. I rated this film on IMDB and this communication deals with my system. There are likely spoilers ahead.

My overall thought was that this film suffered from a “bit too much stuff” in it towards the end, all the action became a little too much and I just wanted it to go away.

The opening twenty minutes of this movie was pretty darn good. The car chase was a car chase and nothing particularly seemed above and beyond anything else we’ve seen. I’m not sure there are always cop cars just around the corner, ready to chase and a Subaru like that would have left them standing, easily. But, movie, you can have that one for free, because this was entertaining.

I liked the idea of the music, the soundtrack to this film was brilliant but after this opening part of the film the dancing and lovely movement seemed to die. The main point for this film stopped happening. The choreographed walking and camera work stopped and this became just another heist movie. The heists weren’t even that clever.

The top man of this film wouldn’t have employed the nutter chap, I can’t remember his name. This guy was too much of a loose cannon and so wouldn’t have made the team. The plans were quite meticulous and he would’ve fucked things up straight away.

The last job these guys pull goes tits-up. It’s the aftermath of this that became too much for me and I quite like action movies. Lots of shooting and people being bad shots. Lots of driving that was quite implausible. Lots of “stuff”. And the choreography had disappeared or I failed to notice it.

I normally find that my ratings tend to mirror the meta-score on IMDB, but not this time. This was rated around 8/10 instead of my 6. I’ll probably try and read some reviews to see just what it was the critics liked about this movie. Oh, it also had a shit title.

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Miss Sloane

I went to see Miss Sloane. Je voyageais par la route de l’autre côté de la rivière, c’était une marée haute. The river looked lovely and calm. I rated this film using IMDB and this one got a 6. You might find it helpful to read my communication about the scoring system.

This, was I guess, a political thriller. It was pretty good. I found the performance of the lead actor probably kept it going well. There was a little too much intrigued and double guessing for me. I haven’t worked in high management or politics but I do think that the political system largely reacts to random events and, while there may be a grand plan, it never really gets too far gone.

I quite enjoyed this film and the cinema provided some respite from the warm temperatures in this lands at the moment. This is not a complaint. I like the heat. I just dislike sun burn. Which I spent a good proportion of my youth suffering with.

I guess the amount of writing here tells you how much I was affected by this film. It didn’t really impact on me. Just have a look at films I thought were stunning or absolutely terrible. I write way more when I’m really happy or annoyed at a film.

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Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 2

There’s something about the ebb and flow of a tidal river that’s organically beautiful. The mass of water that enters the Medway and travels up to Allington Lock transforms the landscape from mud flats to a rippling estuary. It’s gorgeous, even if it is brown and looks dirty. The tide was in as I drove to the cinema last night to see Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 2. It does that twice a day, raising the level of water and bringing food into the marshes.

I watched the film at Cineworld in Rochester. Fortunately the cinema was quiet, unlike the previous film where there were lots of people eating popcorn through the quiet bits in the film. Popcorn itself isn’t loud but the paper bags rustle with gusto. None of that this time. I rated the film on IMDB, which is customary, and usually I tweet the result, but the app on my phone wanted me to Rate It at the same time as confirming my tweet and it wouldn’t let me tweet automatically. Somewhat annoying but I gave this film an 8.

So, 8/10 seems a reasonable score. This film was enjoyable, grandiose and anthemic.  It didn’t quite maximise all those qualities though. It looked lovely, was fun and humorous. I do think it had a little bit of “too much stuff-in-it”. There were space fights and graphics with so much going on that it distracts from the story. Yep, it looks good, but it doesn’t add anything. Films can look good and be great without all this “stuff-it-in” approach. Honestly, it’s worth minimising films occasionally. But perhaps that is an outsider approach and wouldn’t make money.

There aren’t many individual comments that I can add to this film. While watching it I didn’t have sentences forming in my head to be written here as I normally do. I usually leave the cinema remembering about 50% of my in-head comments ready to share here. I just didn’t get that many from this film.

Oh, there was a massacre about 2/3 of the way through. Which seemed a little dark and a tiny bit unnecessary. It wasn’t really needed for the plot or character development.

Stan Lee cameos annoy me.

That’s it. I’ll probably watch this film again sometime. It wasn’t great but it was good fun.

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Monster Trucks

I went to see Monster Trucks at Rochester Cineworld Cinema. It’s a kids film. I rated it (surprisingly high) on IMDB and you should read this before taking my ratings seriously.

You know what? This film was alright. It was a bit like an earthly version of Transformers. There was a young man who was obsessed with trucks but also quite intelligent and a young woman trying to impress him. I’m not really sure. There was also some step-dad stuff along the way with Danny Glover playing a scrap metal merchant in a wheelchair.

There were monsters. But, of course, they were mostly friendly. Apart from the physics of crashing down a hill and crushing your vertebrae this film was mostly good fun.

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Ghost In The Shell

I went to see Ghost In The Shell this afternoon. I booked a 14:30 showing. As is custom I went to the Cineworld at Rochester. Maybe one day I’ll change my “usual”.

So, the thing with the ratings is that you should read this communication.

I enjoyed what I saw of this film and I thought it was good. I recently watched the original anime version and thought that was brilliant. I don’t care for comparing across the genres. The only film I would get touchy about is that tour de force Akira.

I did “rest my eyes” a few times during this film and so I think it would be sensible for me to go again sometime when I am feeling more awake. A short and sweet review this time!

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Logan

In an unusual move I went to the cinema this morning to an 11:00 showing! I’d already had a run so I figured why not? I won’t embed that here, you can search my Twitter timeline if you want to see that. As is usual I rated the film on IMDB and for an explanation of the rating system you should read this communication.

So, I enjoyed the film. It was pretty violent and very well done. It wasn’t that violent given what I have seen in the past but I guess for a 15 it was impressive.

 

WARNING there are SPOILERS from HERE.

 

I don’t like superhero films. Or mutant films. Most of them are rubbish. This one was good but not brilliant. I’ve seen people raving about it and I think that’s mostly the rubbish they’ve been fed over the years colouring their view. 

I need to add that the whole idea that the kids would be safe once they “crossed the border” was odd given that the company chasing them was perfectly happy to blow shit up in Mexico and the USA and so probably wouldn’t mind popping into Canada. 

It was lovely to see Richard E Grant being evil.

This film was going to be rated 6/10 but I have given it 8/10 because of the major deaths that take place in the film. I though it was important to give those characters some honour.

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Hidden Figures

Last night I went to see Hidden Figures. It has been a while since I’ve been to the cinema as things are just a little busy at the moment. I’m sure I’ll catch up in the next month or so. I’ve had a recommendation to see Logan and given my general dislike of superhero films it will be interesting to see it.

I went to see Hidden Figures. It is customary for me to rate films on IMDB and I did so.

Perhaps you should read my reasoning behind my ratings, although I have to admit the logic is shifting slowly over time, as should be expected I guess.

Hidden Figures was a good film. It was about some of my favourite topics; space, rockets, maths, civil rights, humanity.

Quite a broad range of topics there, but this film managed them all. This was the story of three mathematicians at NASA. That doesn’t sound particularly impressive until you suddenly say BLACK FEMALE mathematicians at NASA in the early 1960s. Everyone should see this film, it has the right amount of everything, really worth while.

It stuns me to see how different people were treated. God, people can be fucking assholes.

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The LEGO Batman Movie

I tried to coast the car as far as possible to Rochester cinema today, but there are too many uphills in the way and I had to use a fair bit of fuel. I do tell myself that all journeys that start and end at home are potential energy neutral [given particular losses for downhill and energy conversion] but still, hills annoy me. I also don’t want to be a particularly sad Prius driver, I do like power mode. I went to see Lego Batman and I rated the film on IMDB, perhaps I could trouble you to read this communication about the rating system.

Well, overall I would say I was largely not affected by this film. The opening was good, I liked the Batman character and his voice-over. but I think I’m too old for these films now. It all seemed just a little too busy. There was always so much going on in the film and on the screen it was hard to keep up with the characters and potential jokes that were happening. I am positive it was funnier than I thought, but I only smiled a couple of times.

While I guess this film was inevitable after the Lego Movie, I think Batman has been done to death. Putting it in Lego didn’t change or improve it. If anything it possibly messed up the Lego brand a bit. This film could have just as easily been live action or animated [not Lego] and it would have been the same. There wasn’t any reason for it to be Lego.

I didn’t leave the cinema amazed with what I had just seen, I left feeling “huh”, or whatever letters spell the equivalent of a “shoulder shrug”. It is quite possible that I just don’t like Batman. I remember seeing the Tim Burton version and thinking “whatever”, I do now recognise it as great though. All versions since have left me cold and irritated. I’m just not made for Batman.

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Assassin’s Creed

I went to see Assassin’s Creed at Rochester Cineworld. As is customary I have rated this film on IMDB and shared it via Twitter. For a discussion of my rating system please read this communication.

I honestly don’t know where to start. It was shit. Terrible. Really bad. There are places and times for a good old discussion about “The Problem Of Evil” and how freewill is involved [but not] but this film is not one of those places.

But then it was based on a game. Which I haven’t really played. Which, as far as I know, is quite good.

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Silence

I sauntered out to Rochester cinema last night to see Silence. I have, of course, rated this film on IMDB and you should read this communication about my rating scale. I went to see a showing that had the programme start at 20:40. This was a late night for me!

So, this was a long film, but didn’t actually feel that long. I enjoyed it a lot. I would recommend you see it. I am not sure I would watch it again, but it deserves an 8 on my scale. It is a thoughtful, slow, beautiful film with lots of torture and suffering.

I was mildly amused at the beginning of the film as right at the point that its name glares across the screen SILENCE there is no audio from the film but the doors to the auditorium were open and the noise of people outside in the foyer filled our room.

Having done a little Wikipediaring I have found that this is based on an historical fiction novel about the treatment of Roman Catholics in Japan during the 17th century. You will not be surprised to find that I do not understand that people would rather die through torture than recant their belief in a [possibly mythical] Jew from the middle-east who was likely a naughty boy. However, this is what they did and they died for their faith. As have many before and since. This, I can’t compute.

This film is worth watching. I will be watching Ghost In The Shell today because there is a live action version out soon!

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Nocturnal Animals

Last night I moseyed to the Cineworld cinema at Rochester. I went to the Nocturnal Animals. When I booked this film I didn’t know anything about the film, I hadn’t seen a trailer and so took a punt with this one. There were two possible options for a film to see, Nocturnal Animals and The Accountant, upon inspecting the IMDB critics scores I decided to see the better one. I pay no attention to the scores given by cinema goers, oh the irony, it is clear that the public have no idea what is good for them as recent events will attest. Whenever the shout for power to the people is raised you just have to remember that Mr Blobby was christmas number one once. So, here’s my IMDB rating:

As is expected you should see this communication for an explanation of how my scoring system works.

I enjoyed this film. It was the second recent film to be set in West Texas and I’m now not sure if it is a place I would want to visit. Everyone out there seems strange. The opening of this film was interesting especially as I didn’t know a thing about it. The film was billed as a stylish and absorbing psychological noir thriller. I’m not entirely sure it was all that. It seemed more to be about a very sad woman who hates her life. The film was clever but not brilliantly so and the book that the main character reads comes to life in the film we see.

I’m going to do my best to not give any spoilers as I write this. There wasn’t any particular part of the film where I thought it was stupid or wanted to moan about it so that’s a good thing. I need to try and see real films more often, I think I have seen too many action or super hero films and they are a strange distortion of the cinema world. I don’t mind science fiction so much but they often do too much, they bend the rules so far [fine] and then SF films tend to do something silly and break the rules. I’m not sure that makes sense, whoops.

I probably would watch this film again. Amy Adams is pretty good and manages to show emotion without a great deal of verbal communication. The naked bum was a major motif throughout the film and the graphic matches were well done. It was a well made and constructed movie. I would like to think I would spot more “clever” stuff the second time around. Assuming there is a lot of clever stuff.

At one time the writer says that all writers write about themselves, what else can they know. It turns out this film director, Tom Ford, used to be a fashion designer. The film clearly states that this world and the world of art is superficial and bollocks. That seems perfectly reasonable to me.

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Doctor Strange

I sauntered out to Rochester cinema last night to see Doctor Strange. I have to admit the trailer didn’t really fill me with anticipation but it was recommended at work. Of course I rated this film on the IMDB and tweeted the result. You should probably read this communication about the rating system.

So, what did I think? It was alright. OK. Nothing special. Better than the trailer set out.

There were moments of humour.

I have some advice for film makers though. Just because your special effects can kaleidoscope a city that doesn’t mean you have to. I say that having never read any of the comics.

The fighting scenes were a little “Paul Greengrass” and could have been filmed better.

Oh, and the “mystic east” infuriates me. It just adds extra credence to those fools who peddle bullshit in the real world.

There, it was OK.

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