Tag: Rochester

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Star Trek Beyond

Last night I went to Cineworld, Rochester to see Star Trek Beyond. It was a curious start to the film as the cinema showed trailers that were all kids’ animated movies and then the classification certificate showed up and said we were about to watch the BFG. After five minutes they had started projecting the correct film. I rated this on IMDB, as usual and here’s a communication that covers my rating system.

Now, you might think a 6 is a little low but film enjoyment is subjective so fuck off.

I saw this in 3D and I don’t like 3D. It adds nothing to a film. If you have good cinematography then you get depth of field from your standard projection, you don’t need 3D. It’s a big bad gimmick. My reaction to this may also be because I have a low 3D perception in these films, I seem less affected by 3D effects, they don’t really stand out much with me.

This film was OK. It had good effects and humour in the right places. I didn’t really like the action sequences. I think they suffered from Transformers Syndrome – too much shit going on at the same time. Just because we have CGI doesn’t mean using it more and more makes a film better.

Here There Be Spoilers

I didn’t like the bad character being human. And a war mongering human at that. A man so annoyed at peace after the wars that he wanted to destroy the human race. Fucking bullshit and lazy.

PHYSICS
We just have to assume that everyone has access to inertial drive technology. I can suspend my disbelief for physics, you get to break a couple of rules. I do wonder if the 5 Year Mission is relative to the Enterprise or to a Base station, given time dilation.

BREAKING THINGS
The Franklin, constructed in space and not meant for atmospheric travel works perfectly well after fifty years on an alien planet? Bullshit. Also, when they drop the Franklin off the cliff top they accelerate and then hit some rock towers on the way down. The ship absorbs these perfectly well like it was designed to smash through rock and mine diamonds. Hated it. The ship would have been torn apart from the first load of rocks. The Franklin hits about four of these mounds and just carries on with no problems. Utter crap. Curiously there was someone in the cinema behind me who was gasping whenever it hit the rocks, this I found amusing. It’s a Hollywood movie, of course they’ll be ok. It reminded me of the people gasping and crying at The Passion Of The Christ, such bullshit.

The Franklin then crashes into the Star City and everyone seems to survive. An entire quarter of the city is evacuated with absolutely no problems. The Franklin seems to be built like a brick-shit-house.

FIRE
When Kirk returns to the disk to collect the magic weapon the whole thing is on fire but he considers it safe to enter and wander around. Bollocks.

MOTORBIKE
Why? A motorbike that works perfectly after 50 years on another planet. Why? Why not a speederbike. Why not anything else? Also, Kirk can see a route down to the base through the caverns and chasms? Hated it.

STAR CITY DESIGN
Why would you design a spaceport that has a large tunnel for the starships to travel through to get to a docking area? The docking area would be somewhere to minimise potential damage to the Star City. Also, why is this tunnel only just wide enough for the Enterprise. There are surely going to be larger ships? Perhaps they have a Panamax type system. Seems very silly to me.

FUCKING USA NAMES
The Enterprise sums up the “American Dream”. Star City was called York Town and the other star ship was called the Franklin. Of these possibly Franklin is the only one with any merit but is really USA-centric. There are other greats of invention and leaders of countries. The arrogance to consider your names will be the names of the future.

Perhaps I’m reading too much into this whole film?

 

And . . . . calm.

I have tried to find my other reviews for the first two Star Trek films on this site and I can’t find them. I possibly didn’t write about them, I don’t know! I can remember reading a lot about the first reboot to try and make sense of why I didn’t really find it brilliant. Much like my issues with Prometheus.

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Ratchet And Clank

Tool a trip to see Ratchet and Clank [The Movie] at Rochester Cineworld. I’m feeling somewhat let down by this film. Anyway, before looking at a Parish Rating you should read this communication about my rating system. As is custom I have also shared my rating using twitter.

This film was a disappointment. Especially after playing the game quite a bit!

The game is brilliant. It’s just about my level of intelligence and playability. I really liked “A Crack In Time” or whatever it was called and I thoroughly enjoy and love the latest game.

The game is based on the film which is based on the game. The problem is that the game is much much better than the film. I wouldn’t recommend any one to see the film. Such a shame really it could have been brilliant.

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The Legend Of Tarzan

I went to the Cineworld cinema at Rochester to see The Legend Of Tarzan. As usual I have rated this film on IMDB and if you aren’t sure of my rating system then you should see this communication.

I thought the film was enjoyable. A good romp with those pesky colonial Belgians in charge. I was largely impressed with the CGI animals, very impressive and realistic. The story was ok but nothing special. My one quibble would be with the physics of swinging on vines and catching a train doing so, simply unrealistic, but a minor infraction for this particular film. I guess I should read the book.

By the way, the first corner at Zandvoort race track is called Tarzan. It is named after the man whose garden was used to create that part of the track.

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Ghostbusters

I took a wander out to Rochester Cineworld cinema last night and watched Ghostbusters. I had to see it in 3D to get a convenient start time, I don’t like 3D I don’t think it adds anything to films and is very much a gimmick, a well-made film will be well-made whatever and doesn’t need 3D. Anyway, I rated this film on IMDB, please see this communication regarding my rating system.

So, this is quite a high rating from me. Essentially I really enjoyed the film. I thought it was well made and funny. The story was OK. I’d probably see this again if it appeared on TV, hence my rating of 8.

This was an enjoyable couple of hours. I’m not going to go into specific points or plot areas. Everyone surely knows the story. I will say that when I was walking towards the car and rating this on IMDB I saw that it had a terrible average “user” score. A score which was much lower than the “critics” metascore. This was quite strange as normally its the other way around. I wonder if loads of old people saw the film first and then rated the film, unable to remove the genius of the original film. Who knows.

For whatever reason I managed to spill some of my onions and tomato sauce from my hotdog onto my lap and so I spent most of the trailers and (shitty) adverts trying to clean my phone/lap/seat.

Addenda:

A chap at work said he didn’t think the film would be any good because the main characters were played by women. However he then claimed that he wasn’t being sexist. I explained that what he said was the absolute definition of being sexist!

I went to see the original Ghostbusters when it came out in 1742. I remember I really enjoyed it. I also bought “Ghostbusters” the single by Ray Parker Jr as well as the 12″ remixed version. The soundtrack to the film was the first album I ever bought and I can remember my mum saying to me that I had to be sure I wanted it as it was expensive and did I know I would like all the songs? Well, she was right about albums being expensive (probably about £2) but how was I meant to have listened to all the songs without owning the album yet? I bought it. I enjoyed it.

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Black Widow

Went to look around Rochester Castle and Cathedral. I’d not been in the cathedral before and I was impressed, but then that’s the point of them. They are meant to intimidate you into believing a load of bollocks. It was strange as the organ was being tuned up and so added a creepy scary atmosphere. I mean, more of a creepy atmosphere than a whole building dedicated to the murder of a Jew, who possibly didn’t even exist.

So, there was a submarine in the river. This was somewhat of a surprise as I’d never noticed it before.

Black Widow
Black Widow

A quick Google tells me this is U-475, a Soviet era submarine called Black Widow. I could write stuff here but you could just visit the Wikipedia page here. Apparently this sub has been here for over ten years, but I have to say she’s not always been moored off Strood or I would have definitely noticed her before now. It’s an impressive sight. Not quite as impressive as the Raid On The Medway must have been, those pesky Dutch!

Rochester Bridge got in touch via Twitter:

Cathedral
Cathedral

It’s the cathedral. Lovely but useless.

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Captain America: Civil War

You know me by now. If there’s a big film then I’m likely to see it. Except for Batman V Superman that I couldn’t care about. I’m not that big on superhero films and I can’t quite figure out why. I remember the “first” Batman by Tim Burton and leaving thinking “meh” or whatever the early 90s version of “meh” was. I think now I recognise it as brilliant but not so much back then. Perhaps it’s Batman films? I don’t enjoy them.

Avengers Assemble was different, it had a good script, good action and a good director. I really enjoyed it. Some of the other superhero films have been OK, mostly the Marvel ones, although I don’t like the Spiderman films either. Perhaps it’s a solo-crime-fighter thing? I am very not sure.

So, to this. I watched this at Rochester Cineworld and rated this on IMDB. You should see this communication about my rating system, which I broke for God’s Not Dead 2.

I guess there needs to be a slight explanation as I feel this could be controversial, not that I care. The film was OK. Nothing special. Really, I mean that, nothing special. I enjoyed one bit and that was the fight scene at the airport. I only like that because there was humour. My overall impression was that there was too much fighting, one on one. Yes, I know it was called Civil War and war involves fighting, but there was too much in this film.

That’s it really. I don’t have a lot else to say. Except this should have been called Avengers 3. It was mostly an Avengers story.

Tony Stark would seriously want more regulation? Seems improbable, he’s an arse and totally self-interested.

Why, when fighting Ironman, do people swing at his chin? Why use a fist. I don’t understand.

Also, every time Ironman lands his body would be broken apart inside the suit through the deceleration.

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Eye In The Sky

Took a trip to Strood to watch Eye In The Sky. You should know by now that I will have rated this film on IMDB and that there is a certain system and method involved which I explained here.

So, this is a film dealing with a hypothetical capture of fighters by the UK on Al Shabaab members in Kenya. Now, I have no idea about the types of technology used in this film. I don’t know how good camera zooms are on drone planes. I don’t know how good calculating collateral damage is and I don’t know how good communications are. The facial recognition bit seemed most unlikely to me, but then I’m not an expert.

This is a Reaper drone, the type used in the film. From looking at the photos on Wikipedia the film seems to have reconstructed the control room quite well along with the weapons and camera capabilities of the Reaper.

Initially this film is about the capture of some of the most wanted list of Al Shabaab. But the situation changes when the naughty people move suddenly from one house where the Kenyan army are waiting to another in an Al Shabaab controlled area of town. This changes the plans considerably. Also, once the beetle bug gets inside the house there is a clear justification for a Hellfire strike.

This film follows the discussions between the UK Army, USA Air Force and politicians as the UK contemplates essentially assassinating five people including two UK subjects and a USA citizen.

Oh, yeah British people. You aren’t citizens. You are SUBJECTS. You are subservient to the Queen. God Save the Queen, fuck you.

The problem with the air strike is caused by a 10 year old girl selling bread just outside the wall of the target house and so she will likely die if the hellfires are released. I won’t give away the end, I’ll just say this. This film is worth watching. All actors are good. I didn’t like the US pilot and observer and I’d like to point out that not all men and women in the forces are that good looking.

At this point I wanted to write something like RIP Alan Rickman, but that implies that he is resting or his soul is elsewhere. That’s bullshit. So, perhaps I should say he’s dead. He was good.

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Midnight Special

I had an afternoon at the flicks. I went to see Midnight Special at Rochester Cineworld. I have, as usual, graded this film on IMDB, please see my ratings guide here.

Now, a lot of the time I watch a film and I have parts of what I write here going through my head. It’s kinda how I experience the movie. I expect that I forget most of what I want to write as I don’t take a pad in to make notes. I do take my phone but suspect I’d get kicked out for having it on all the time. Also that would distract from the film.

Things have changed recently. I no longer hear my own voice or see my website when I watch films. Rather I head Eli, Noah and Heath from the GAMCast. I hear them arguing and making jokes about puppy rape and fat people.

The GAMCast is a podcast I regularly listen to while running or driving. God Awful Movies takes three hilarious atheists and they poke fun at terrible Christian cinema. Sometimes they even take down a good Christian movie! You can find them here:

God Awful Movies

So, this film, Midnight Special. It was a nice science fiction kinda film. I enjoyed it. There were a few moments where I thought “what?” but on the whole the film held together well. The pace is nice and slow, the action and tension builds slowly. Unlike most modern films this one takes its time and ends up being quite satisfying. Well worth a watch.

There, you are. Not a great deal to say. I liked it. Perhaps you should read about films I didn’t like, I tend to write much more!

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Allegiant

I went to Rochester Cineworld cinema to see Allegiant. This is the third in the Divergent series. I reviewed Divergent and Insurgent before. It looks like there’s going to be another of these films, I can’t wait [sarcasm]. I rated this film on IMDB and, as ever, you should read this communication about my rating system.

So, the inhabitants of Chicago get to go beyond the wall, except they don’t because the new leader, 4’s mum or something like that, doesn’t want them to. Do you know what? It’s not worth explaining the plot. It wasn’t worth it. Kids escape one city to be moved to one with exactly the same problems. It’s the same film again. Like my review for Insurgent this future world is a bit shit. It’s not thought through. It doesn’t work.

My issues with this film are numerous. Tris is genetically PURE. What the actual fuck does that mean? Is this a film that is meant to fit in with a Trump world view? If only PURE people can get up to the upper levels at O’Hare then why is everyone else allowed up there too? I think I missed something.

The people at O’Hare and Providence have awesome technology but there isn’t anywhere that has the industrial base to produce that. Where is this stuff made? How does this economy work?

Red rain. Red rain in the badlands or whatever they are called. But there’s a magic forcefield around Chicago to stop this rain from falling on them or even them noticing it when they are up in the towers looking over the badlands.

It’s not actually that far from Chicago to O’Hare airport. I know there is a force field thing protecting Chicago from seeing the airport but they never noticed all the flying things?

chicago

If the population of O’Hare is made from children stolen from tribes living in the badlands then the badlands can’t actually be that bad? If there are adults reproducing healthy children then it seems the outside is OK. Also, what do these people eat?

I need to stop. The film “looked” nice. Other than that is was poor.

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Deadpool

Went to see Deadpool earlier today. As ever I have rated a film on IMDB, see my rating guide here. I went to the Cineworld cinema at Rochester, although it’s on the wrong side of the river to be in Rochester.

So, here’s what I thought. It was a superhero movie, which don’t really bother me, and it was entirely like all the other superhero movie except this one included breaking the forth wall and general slutty humour.

Was it funny? Yes.

Was it laugh out loud funny? No.

Was it a good film. Not really. If you remove the humour it wasn’t that great. Just another superhero revenge movie with fights and crashes and stuff. There, I said it.

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Capture The Flag

Went to see Capture The Flag earlier at the Cineworld in Rochester. As is now usual I rated this film on IMDB and you should see an explanation of those ratings on this communication.

So, let me explain a little more about all this. This was a CGI kids film. It was about a kid who wants to get his father speaking to his grandfather. Both are NASA astronauts. The grandfather missed out on the moon for reasons that are explained much later in the film.

SPOILER WARNING

It would appear that an evil corporate head and owner wants to mine all the H3 on the moon and sell it to countries on Earth in a monopoly. In doing so he tells the Earth that the original landings were faked and that he is going to claim the moon by getting there first. The POTUS decides that an Apollo craft needs to be sent to the moon as soon as possible so that the FLAG on the moon can be saved and ownership of the moon is for all humans.

Grandfather then trains the father in Apollo style techniques using craft that have been mothballed for 50 years. By an unfortunate series of coincidences the grandfather, the boy and his best female friend end up launching to the moon. Big evil corporation head gets there too and starts destroying the previous landing sites [even though he also declared in the film he doesn’t care about that only the H3]. Evil man has managed to launch an entire mining operation to the moon, developed within his own corporation. etc. etc.

I had issues with this film. It’s just too implausible. I know it was CGi and all that but there were many points that irritated me. Space suits that would fit a kid. Having to go to the moon rather than orbit Earth and return. Massive moon mining ship that is developed without anyone knowing about it. Surfing over the moon’s surface. Oh, just so much.

It could have been made a much more enjoyable film if it had been made more realistic. In short, it irked me. Hence the low rating.

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The Danish Girl

I recently went to see The Danish Girl at Cineworld in Rochester. We were in screen 8 which means comfy seats and a nice auditorium. Sally hadn’t been in there before and was somewhat shocked at the tables between the seats downstairs and the size of the chairs upstairs. The rail in front of the front row upstairs was slightly too high to allow proper slouching in the seat.

As ever I rated this film on IMDB and you should read my page explaining ratings here.

So, this was a good film. It was very enjoyable and it is surprising how good and effeminate Eddie Redmayne is. This is a film about tolerance and understanding, it has lessons that much of the world could use to understand their population. All these countries with non-liberal views should just fuck off this planet.

So, the film. It’s worth watching. What I would definitely recommend is that you then read the Wikipedia pages about Lili Elbe and Gerda Wegener. The real story is far more interesting than the film and more fascinating. You should also check out this page of Gerda’s art.

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Rochester

Here’s a few photos taken by son #1 while we were walking around Rochester Airport. I think he has a pretty good “eye” for the shot.

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Red2

Saw Red2 this morning at Cineworld in Rochester. It killed a few hours after my run. It also was very nearly not Red2 that I watched. I sat through adverts and trailers only for the wrong film to start. We all left the screen and the management said they’d put on the correct film.

Did have to sit through more adverts and trailers though which was a bit shit.

The film itself is funny in a few places and full of crazy action, but overall enjoyable. It’s nice to see old stars doing the action thing. I particularly loved Helen Mirren shooting cops and general up-to-no-goods from a Lotus while it was spinning along the road. Also, the pick-up of Bruce Willis into an Aston (?) driven by Zeta-Jones was excellent and laughable. Great fun. The plot was pretty poor and very “early Bond” but then they made loads of money.

Overall, worth a watch. Not as good as the first.

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They Are So Mine

Here’re my boys looking at Rochester Airfield. They loved waking around and seeing the planes. We were going to go on a river trip but all sailings were cancelled because the river was flooded!

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