Vague – where should it go? – Page 9 – Fooyah

February 16 2018February 16 2018

Flat Of The Land

I’ve been on a trip to Lincolnshire and the Fens. The journey up here was surprising from Peterborough onwards as I hadn’t really realised just how far these low lands and fen lands go. I haven’t seen a hill for a whole day now and while that might not seem strange you only have to come here for it to freak you out. The roads here a remarkably straight following the line of the irrigation canals, the highest points are road bridges over the canals or railways. Houses here are dotted around, few and far between with a loneliness that seems saddening. My initial thoughts about this place are that the four walls poking out from the ground must be expensive to heat, there is nothing to stop the winter winds. The landscape must be fantastic in winter although I would imagine it’s a struggle, a 4×4 is definitely required. I wonder what the broadband bandwidths are like?

Tattershall Castle is not far from where I am staying and so I visited. It’s a pretty large building that protrudes out from moated grounds to accentuate the plane aspects of this countryside.

This castle is pretty old and the high ceiling rooms are impressive. The beams used to support the floors above are immense. I didn’t go for the audio tour, I didn’t want to be stuck to a particular routine. I actually wanted to get to the top to see RAF Coningsby. The flight line is quite a clear sight from the top of the castle, along with the hangar that houses the Battle Of Britain Memorial Flight. Unfortunately nothing took off or landed while I was in a suitable place to see.

I was surprised that the Boston Stump was clearly visible to the south along with Lincoln Cathedral almost directly to the north. The Stump was about 19 km away and the cathedral is 27 km to the NE. This is how flat this land is. You can easily see for miles. The trees, houses and road signs punctuate this barren landscape. My normal “escape” is the English mountains in the Lake District and this place is the exact opposite.

The churchyard next to the castle had some early signs of spring grasping the sun light and air:

I didn’t spend ages at Tattershall. I had heard that the RAF Typhoon display pilot was going to have a practice and I left the castle with fifteen minutes to spare to get to a suitable viewing point. The morning practice had been cancelled, although reasons I have none.

My favourite part of Tattershall was the ramp going to an ante-room. The ramps takes you up the first step but look carefully at the picture and you can see where once up one step you are fucked because the second step is pretty much straight in front of you with no room to manoeuvre. It’s brilliant placement.

Yes, I know that plane is spelt plane and not plain in this case normally but I decided the ramp was boring and useless, hence plain.

January 13 2018January 13 2018

President – Season 45

The ebb and flow of the tide continues as I watch the latest season of President, the virtual reality television show. This ground breaking production has, over 44 seasons, had its ups and downs. Here’s a small review:

I first became aware of the world of President during season 39. The scriptwriters had been slogging out the device they called the Cold War but the ratings must have dropped so they decided to fill the lead role with someone who was a washed up actor, it was considered as good as the genius of Birdman in its day. Hollywood just loves stories about Hollywood and actors.

Season 40 saw a thawing in the Cold War story and, when viewing figures dipped, the writers orchestrated an assassination attempt, borrowing from some of the highlights of seasons 16, 20, 25 and 35. As a brave turn the writers wanted to include a line about the decay of mental abilities in old age, raising awareness and so had the development of a President in early stage dementia. In a meeting about diversity the writers had created a strong female character but had her only as a senior world leader elsewhere, they didn’t believe the viewership was ready for the idea of a strong woman in the main part of their story. Using the internal rules of the series developed somewhere around season 33 they had to change lead actors and so the next President Season 41 was produced.

A war abroad wasn’t enough of a revolutionary choice to keep Season 41 alive but their special effects of burning oil fires encompassing a whole desert deservedly won awards and helped create a new industry. The audience was tired of wars overseas and the ratings dived. The woman leader of a small island was replaced by a grey, dull man and there didn’t seem to be anything special in the pipeline.

A change of writers saw a new team take the helm of USS White House [the studio’s nickname for the show]. What happened during Season 42 was the creation of a few long burning story lines to arc over many seasons. These initial moves were complete sideline plots. A story about banking regulation and development of a terrorist organisation from the past highlights of secret CIA funding in a sandy country.

These slow fuse stories were kept ticking over while they used the salacious details of sexual abuse of power in the White House to keep the ratings up. They even had 42 in court and accused of lying. Another peace keeping mission in a foreign country kept the gun-nut viewers happy with newsreel shot showing camouflaged men shooting.

The genius of this season was to place the lead character as a caring democratic fan while at the same time writing in an economic boom giving the opportunity for easing of the financial rules and sucking up to big business. The internal struggles of the writers to create a person who could brag about helping and caring while ruining the regulation that keeps the populous safe and licking the dicks [and clits] of rich people showed as they tore themselves apart and a team of new writers was brought in.

The original writers moved to another studio and set up the show “PM” where they created a leader of a small island who, during a financial boom, broke down regulation to allow more financial flexibility for business. Brilliantly, being Hollywood, they created a vain man obsessed with his image in the media. As I said earlier, Hollywood loves stories about Hollywood.

While the anti-climactic ending of this season developed the writers went for familial connections and had President 43 be the son of President 41. He came along to finish the work his daddy had started in season 41.

Only a few months into Season 43 the writers, with the stable old white man in the big job, went brave. They destroyed a group of iconic buildings on the New York set. They killed thousands in a highly rated episode for its terror and horror. These scenes would be played over and over raising so much money for the studio. At the same time they embedded their lead in the place of innocence, a primary school. This superposition garnered many awards, especially with the written reaction of the President, we can see his brain unable to cope with the news that his country is under attack. This story line had started with Season 41 and the war in a sandy place. His daddy’s war.

Now, the audience seemed ready for a long and messy overseas war. The writers worked hard on creating the evidence from past seasons but they just didn’t have the excellence in the team and they fell short. None of the claims made by the lead characters in President or PM [now running a joint storyline] held up to scrutiny when looking at the back story. The public were annoyed that new plot lines just appeared and hadn’t been developed within the franchise. Hollywood was accused of making-shit-up. This is, to be fair, their job but the public still moan about the lies told within the President universe and the way many smaller characters were written out of the series through deaths in those wars in more sandy places. Filming in deserts seems easy enough.

The last ditch attempt to overcome this viewer anger was to create unrest in the President universe by using a new plot device on the actions of financial de-regulation of earlier seasons. A western world financial crash towards the end of Season 43 caused massive personality hardships for the lead characters and a new approach was needed to get the ratings back.

Season 44 was ground breaking. A black actor was cast as President. The writers had discovered a seam of pure viewing gold. Having 44 working tirelessly and seeming to do good in the world, balancing intelligence and humour while being photogenic helped. They even created a lasting, genuine bond between 44 and his second lead, who, to keep the racist viewers happy was white. Keeping the soap opera theme going they brought back the wife of 42 giving the senior characters oestrogen along with colour. Every now and then the racist-side characters would mimic the accusations of some of the viewers and pipe-up in the calling for proof that this man was eligible for the main job. They kept this theme running using ingenious plot devices of stupid business leaders and a dodgy news channel called Fox, because it’s one letter away from Fux, created as an internal joke a couple of seasons ago.

The writers plan was to have the economy improve over time and the wars to end slowly. There was still some torture and wrongful imprisonment, but they figured that it would only raise the viewing figures as people wondered whether the new black demi-god would fall from grace. Unfortunately the viewers don’t like characters being nice, they don’t like stable. The audience wanted scandal. The writers tried to raise figures by killing the leader of the terror attack from the beginning of Season 43 but the studio declared it wasn’t enough.

There were hints of the crazy to come as Season 44 marched towards the now standard season ending climax when the next lead character is revealed. All along the discussion process they had placed a well qualified woman against a fucking moron of a woman-abusing racist. This person had been a low, rarely occurring character during previous seasons best known for excluding black people from his properties during Season 38 and then more recently as an horrific television host with a glamorous wife whose show was glimpsed on the screens in the background of family discussions moving forward the main story line. He had even had some role in the undermining of 44’s leadership as a habitual user of the newly developed plot device of social media.

Only history and the release of minutes of meetings will determine who the fuck ordered the JUMPING SHARK. Someone ordered the writers to appeal to the dumbest arseholes in the viewership by having the orange monkey win the competition to be the next lead in Season 45.

The whole world of viewers, followers, and critics alike raged at the placement of an idiot in charge of the USS White House in the current season. Suspicion is abound that the writers had been meeting with the rival team over at PM and had used their idea of a shitstorm of plots where the small island votes to leave a community and club worth much in financial and social terms to themselves but they were too short-sighted to see it. The PM writers had gone with a script of chaos and the ratings just leapt.

So, now we have Season 45. After jumping the shark the writers are working hard keeping the crazy going. Now, the whole world is watching and the viewing figures are higher than ever. All the talk around the world at the water-cooler, or shared kettle, is about what will happen next in this crazy universe of President Season 45.

To list all the crazy so far would be impossible but having a lying, sexual abusing, bullying racist as their lead means the writers can do whatever they want. The only limit is their imagination. They’ve had the President say that racists are fine people, the President accuse his accusers of lying, a whole range of actors brought in to some senior roles, a dick-size battle played out internationally, collusion and collaboration with a foreign power, speeches of ramblings and unintelligence, bragging of power and general fuckery.

Whatever follows in the next season is going to be a downturn. They can’t maintain this level of crazy for ever. The viewers will get tired of it and this critic looks forward to the next season of President being humdrum and quiet with a return to social caring.

December 31 2017October 13 2018

Water Loss

Yesterday I went to make a morning coffee and noticed that the pressure from the tap was pretty low. This happens sometimes as I share a water main link with some other houses. Their water use can affect how well the water flows in my house!

I didn’t really pay much attention to this water drop as it doesn’t last long. Later on during the day, I had been for a run and needed to get clean.

Check out my run on Strava.https://t.co/ZHioVdEPvh pic.twitter.com/i0QN05U8x2

— Ian Parish (@iparish) December 29, 2017

I hadn’t really time the run that well as one mile into the exercise the rain started and fell quite heavily for about twenty minutes, that was slightly annoying. Once home I went to run some water for a drink and the flow was very poor. It took in excess of ten seconds to fill a small glass.

So, I went to my water supplier’s website and lo and behold there was a broken water main.

At least the website was updated regularly and the company were doing their best to keep everyone informed. I think that the British are ok with inconvenience as long as we know what is causing it and as long as it wasn’t due to some idiotic behaviour.

The water pressure is now restored. As for a post-run shower, please don’t ask!

December 22 2017December 22 2017

Sponsorship

I think I have finally figured out how to upload decals to Gran Turismo. This means I can add whatever I want (within bounds of decency) to car liveries.

The best bit is I can save video to YouTube!

Now all I need to do is colour match my decals with this website and upload some groovy KSC based colours!

December 14 2017December 14 2017

Quickie

It’s been a while since I’ve been here and I apologise to my followers. I will be aiming to write more over the next few weeks so get ready for a load of mind-splurge. You should know what I’m like, there’ll be rants, I promise.

I also need to get to the cinema soon, Star Wars is out and I guess I should go and see it.

I’ll also write more about Electroneum, a crypto-currency I’m interested in. If you want to send me ETN then you can do so at the following wallet:

Cheers, m’dears.

/end.

October 23 2017October 23 2017

Well, That Was Just Weird

There have been PYO Pumpkin signs around this way for a few weeks and I thought it would be something quite fun to do. Whenever I run the route by the Malta Inn I pass the field and so I knew where it was.

When I arrived the car park was half full with around 100 vehicles. There were many people working there and it was just the most bizarre site. Over in the far corner was a burger bar and drinks van! The whole field looked mostly empty with pumpkins and squash laying everywhere. There was some maize on the eastern flank.

It was like a battle field with dead men and the detritus of war littered over the field. But it was monetised. Many people were on hand to help and make sure you spent lots. All the pumpkins were ready cut and so there was a lot of time and effort that had gone into this enterprise.

October 21 2017

Fixed – Hopefully

There haven’t been any new communications in a while because I have been going through about sixty of them to sort out embedded picture links. I wrote about this here, where I explained that some of my OneDrive pictures weren’t really working within my website.

I could see them, but I think that was because my computer was logged into OneDrive or at least had cookies saying it was logged in. When I checked in an “incognito” window the pictures didn’t show.

The main aim of this embedding was to save space on my server and use the space on my OneDrive allowance as I keep pictures there anyway. I’ve just checked my web server space and I have 100GB, I’m currently at I-Don’t-Know! The web managing tool doesn’t seem to have me down as using any space. Strange! I’ll have another look another time.

Anyway, all communications should have pictures that work! If they don’t work then let me know, my units of readers.

September 25 2017March 13 2020

I Don’t Get It

By THOR – Summer Sky in Southsea England, CC BY 2.0, Link

So, how does that make you feel?

It doesn’t do a great deal for me. In the past it has made me feel proud (?) or occasionally tingly but now it mostly leaves me cold. I’ve written about patriotism a few times before such as here, here and here.

As I don’t understand what it means to be British I looked up the official British Values in Google and there was lots of stuff that is accepted as Fundamental British Values for teaching in school.

Fundamental British Values

democracy
the rule of law
individual liberty
mutual respect for and tolerance of those with different faiths and beliefs and for those without faith.

Democracy – yep, we allow people to vote. But democracy is ruined by the political playing done by those in power who further themselves rather than act in what is best for the citizens of this country. I think Blair, May, Johnson, Rees-Mogg [cunt] and most of the so called “political elite”. See, there, that name “elite”, it reinforces that some are meant to rule and others should be subservient.

Rule Of Law – unless you are rich enough to bend that law. If you are wealthy then you can bend the rules and pay people to do that for you. You can find ways around tax and citizenship so you can play but don’t have to pay. Most of society is forced to behave in a way you find detrimental to your power. We’ve fought two wars recently, most likely based upon personal revenge and lies rather than for any humanitarian purpose. Oh, humanitarian war sounds oxymoronic but war to produce a better society fairer to all is probably the only legitimate reason for war. Politicians can lie and still keep their jobs or accept new jobs.

Individual Liberty – as long as you know your social limit I guess. This is something that people should have. They should have the ability to do what they want within the framework of a liberal legal and law system. You can’t have the liberty to break the law but by and large the state shouldn’t tell you how to behave or what to believe. As a humanist I can get on board with this one. I think the UK does this well. Although we have bishops in the Lords and the hereditary house of lords anyway. The law still states worship everyday in schools, but no school conforms to that. The people should be free to do as they wish. There are still politicians who don’t think that. There are still politicians who are anti-gay. They get elected by a population that is slowly becoming more tolerant, I hope, but occasionally I walk down the high street of my local town and see the intolerance in people and their attitudes.

Respect and Tolerance – sure. Sounds lovely. I’m not sure that’s the reality. So some people will always be scum and act horribly to anyone different. I think this country treats them as they deserve, we largely ignore them. Those who spout hatred and violence go ignored. Unless you are a MP for the DUP, in which case the more you shout the more likely you are to be elected.

So, I think that I am meant to be proud of these values and accept them as British, as part of the fabric of this country. But when I think of this country I think of the following and I am ashamed:

Imperialistic past
Pretensions of being a “world” leader
Incompetent politicians
War mongering industry
Iraq war
Slavery
Riches through stealing
Racism and xenophobia

I find it very hard to identify with the flag and the country. I am well aware that at least I live in a country where it is OK to say that. I live in a country with mostly liberal and progressive laws where freedom is cherished. But stand without and look upon the face of this bullish country and it makes me feel sad.

I tried explaining recently to a group of friends why I don’t stand for the national anthem. It was not easy to elucidate my reasons but I tried. I think they possibly forgave me and let it pass knowing what sort of person I am. Trump would, of course, have me sacked because he is very obviously an idiotic bully.

…our Great American Flag (or Country) and should stand for the National Anthem. If not, YOU’RE FIRED. Find something else to do!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) September 23, 2017

If it was the law that we had to stand I would like to think I would still stay seated. What does showing respect mean? Why do I have to stand for it? I struggle with this all the time. Oh, how I am a tortured soul [I write ironically].

My friends replied that even if I don’t like the government I could stand for “pork pies and picnics”. Yes, I could stand for that I think, even though I don’t like either. But where in the list of things this country has done is that subsection called “quaint English things to do when it doesn’t rain”?

To be honest I am also struggling with forms of address. Why, if we are all people do I have to call someone else something specific. I am very willing to listen but just because someone does a specific job I have to call them something special? This is reinforcement of the ruling classes over everyone else. It confers a level of respect that possible isn’t due to that person. As an extreme example lets just consider all those parts of the Catholic Church, including the fucking pope, who have covered up / defended / NOT TOLD the police about all the kid-fucking.

I have my moments, when I think, “Wow, that was cool, look at what we can do as a group of people”. But I will not accept this as becoming because of the country. The UK has borders clearly defined by the sea, the parts of Earth where humans can’t live. We should be proud of Newton and Watt. But, they were only born here by chance, others would have worked those things out. Claiming people for your country is weird. Da’Vinci was Italian? Nope. Italy didn’t exist then. But they claim him now don’t they? Just because he entered this world geographically within their imaginary lines on this Earth. See, what does it matter who was born in your country?

I think I started thinking about this when I started work at my current school. On Speech Day we would sing the national anthem and also the school song, Gaudeamus. I found that the national anthem made me feel anger. It doesn’t stand for what I believe. Whereas the school song resonated more with me, even though it is a terrible song. I’ve a feeling this is about the level of community offered by both of these. The school community is more measured and tangible than what this country offers. I know the values and people of this place of work more than I do this country. I know what I sing for when I sing the school song, although that is changing towards a worry about the problems of indoctrination.

So, I do not feel proud to be British. I consider myself a person first and therefore part of humanity. I accept things that fall into the category of “being nice to people”, I reject things that miss that category. Nationality is a label and divides us, much as religions, class and sports teams do. I think this flag stands for dislike and internal-ism, it stands for selfishness and exclusion. It does nothing for me.

Note: This communication was started in February 2017 and thought about a lot. I will miss points I want to make. I have struggled with this problem of identity for a long time and the Brexit vote made me feel it even more. I do not recognise what this country or its people stands for. The current government is inept. The rise of hatred and general xenophobia horrifies me. I write as a stream and much like my lessons I lurch from one thing to another. It is me.

September 23 2017

Mother!

I went to see Mother! to try and make up for the mistake that was American Assassin. The tide was in and the river was quite still. In fact it has been a calm day here altogether in this part of Kent. As is usual I rated this film on IMDB and you can read a description of the rating system in this communication.

I rated Mother! (2017) 4/10 #IMDb https://t.co/ENdpYR45aS

— Ian Parish (@iparish) September 23, 2017

So, this could be controversial. . . .

I did not enjoy this film. I watched it to the end just to see what happened and hopefully answer some questions like WHAT THE FUCK WAS GOING ON?

A more accurate title would be “Following Jennifer Lawrence around a house for two hours”.

In the past, when I have encountered a film I hated or didn’t get I have read through reviews and explanations before writing this. Not this time. I will go and look after this is published.