Tag: film

Posted on

God’s Not Dead 2

This is Part Two of Bullshit Saturday. Part one is here.

While looking through the cinema listings in the afternoon of Saturday 30 April I booked a ticket to see Bastille Day and then looked what, if anything, to see in the evening. If I didn’t find a film my plan was to listen to some live music in Maidstone. I had decided to leave Captain America for a few days and had a look at the Bluewater listings.

Oh goodness, they were showing God’s Not Dead 2. I got very excited. I had heard a lot about this film and thought it would be brilliant to actually see it. So, I booked a ticket.

As you can see I was excited. Now, there needs to be some explanation.

I listen to a number of podcasts, mainly while running or driving. My favourites are:

  • Scathing Atheist
  • Skepticrat
  • GAM Cast
  • Skeptics Guide To The Universe
  • Skeptics With A K

I have listen to these for quite a few years and they have enlarged my knowledge and appreciation of science and humanism. I also have learnt a lot about the politics of the USA.

Now, the Scathing Atheist is hilarious and rage inducing at the same time. There is also a lot of swearing and jokes about puppy rape. I love listening and recently became a Patreon. The guys who produce this podcast also make God Awful Movies. This is a weekly podcast in which they VOLUNTARILY watch christian cinema/films and take the piss out of them. It’s funny and opens up a new world of film and beliefs.

They have reviewed a number of films about the rapture and having listened to about twenty episodes I decided it would be a good idea to sit through a film, to understand just how bad they are. I watched Left Behind, click to visit the podcast page. I will admit that almost any film can be reduced to rubble when critically appraised it’s just that these guys stick with christian cinema [mostly]. Left Behind is a terrible film, it makes no sense. At all.

Gamcast episode 33 covers the cinematic marvels of God’s Not Dead 2. I listened to this and thought it would be good to see a film with a decent budget. However, it seemed unlikely that this would head out to Kent and as much as I like a day out in London I am NOT going to see christian cinema when I go there. It seemed I would have to wait to try and download this some time in the future.

I headed to Bluewater shopping centre and bought a pair of shoes in the time between arriving and having to endure watch the film. Now, I don’t like buying shoes or spending money on clothing and the such. It seems a waste. Yes, I do appreciate wearing clothes though. Anyway, new shoes were purchased. I headed to the Showcase cinema. Upon entering the auditorium it turns out some dude was in my seat. I’m not sure how that happens but he moved and sat next to me.

I was very curious as to the make up of the audience and whether they were there purely to take the piss and experience cinema shittery. The chap next to me seemed potentially mentally ill or possibly had a terrible headache, every ten minutes he would lean forward and rub his head, almost like praying, very odd. The rest of the cinema seemed normal I guess. There were about 30 people in the theatre, some families with teenage kids and some couples. I couldn’t get the measure of it.

So, I rated this film on IMDB and you should see this communication about my rating system and then return here to see how I broke the rules.

This was a bad film. The legal aspects of the film were bad. Everything was bad. I have also broken my system for rating films. But the lowest anyone can give is a 1 and so that is what I gave. Maybe I need to update my system, I don’t know.

Normally I would give you a run down of the movie and what I thought but instead you should go and listen to the God Awful Movie podcast episode covering this. Or see this tweet.

Also, you should go and buy the parody song written about this film. You can find it here. Or see this tweet:

This film did not disappoint. I honestly want to thank GAMcast and Scathing Atheist for giving the chance to experience this. I was really excited and it live down to expectations.

Posted on

Bastille Day

You know me. Always going to the cinema and this weekend there’s quite a good choice. There are definitely three films I fancy seeing and so I will spread them out. First up was Bastille Day, which was watched at the Cineworld Cinema in [not] Rochester. As usual I have rated the film on IMDB and tweeted about the result.

Now, this seems harsh according to the scale I have explained previously in this communication. To be honest this film wasn’t that great. It wasn’t a funny film, it lacked a chemistry in the buddy-buddy aspect and the action scenes were too long. The roof top running got boring. Nope, just terrible and potentially the whole thing was in bad taste.

Perhaps I was struggling to cope with made up stuff after having spent an hour in the delightful environment of mystical stuff. I’m not sure but this film didn’t deliver.

Posted on

Eye In The Sky

Took a trip to Strood to watch Eye In The Sky. You should know by now that I will have rated this film on IMDB and that there is a certain system and method involved which I explained here.

So, this is a film dealing with a hypothetical capture of fighters by the UK on Al Shabaab members in Kenya. Now, I have no idea about the types of technology used in this film. I don’t know how good camera zooms are on drone planes. I don’t know how good calculating collateral damage is and I don’t know how good communications are. The facial recognition bit seemed most unlikely to me, but then I’m not an expert.

This is a Reaper drone, the type used in the film. From looking at the photos on Wikipedia the film seems to have reconstructed the control room quite well along with the weapons and camera capabilities of the Reaper.

Initially this film is about the capture of some of the most wanted list of Al Shabaab. But the situation changes when the naughty people move suddenly from one house where the Kenyan army are waiting to another in an Al Shabaab controlled area of town. This changes the plans considerably. Also, once the beetle bug gets inside the house there is a clear justification for a Hellfire strike.

This film follows the discussions between the UK Army, USA Air Force and politicians as the UK contemplates essentially assassinating five people including two UK subjects and a USA citizen.

Oh, yeah British people. You aren’t citizens. You are SUBJECTS. You are subservient to the Queen. God Save the Queen, fuck you.

The problem with the air strike is caused by a 10 year old girl selling bread just outside the wall of the target house and so she will likely die if the hellfires are released. I won’t give away the end, I’ll just say this. This film is worth watching. All actors are good. I didn’t like the US pilot and observer and I’d like to point out that not all men and women in the forces are that good looking.

At this point I wanted to write something like RIP Alan Rickman, but that implies that he is resting or his soul is elsewhere. That’s bullshit. So, perhaps I should say he’s dead. He was good.

Posted on

Hardcore Henry

I actually spent time and money going to see Hardcore Henry. It was showing at Rochester and I had seen the trailer and was curious. It was an 18, which normally means decent violence and/or language. I rated the film on IMDB, click here to see my ratings profile.

Look, if a film has a unique thing to it, then that gets accepted very quickly and simple things like script and storyline still have to be good. A bad film is still a bad film when it is shown in 3D. 3D isn’t enough to make a film good. First person filming wasn’t enough to make this a good film. It was shit. I hated it. The filming was ok, the violence was of a dark calibre and yet the story and script were terrible.

As the New York Daily News said:

You could see Hardcore Henry or you could gulp down vodka, put on GTA, strap the TV to your face and fall down the stairs.

Posted on

Feeling Agitated

I’ve been feeling agitated today mostly about the news that someone found out who his biological dad was.

So, I played Gran Turismo for a while and apart from a message from my niece about Game Of Thrones I just had stuff tumbling over in my mind. I did win two races, one at the Red Bull Ring short course and another on Deep Forest (reverse). I do like the Deep Forest track. The last race I did I came third! It was at Grand Valley Speedway and I would have one having muscled my way into first place however I braked too late for a sharp corner and went straight on.

So, here’s why I’m angry. I watched a film. Actually I’ve watched many films this break but I specifically watched two that I missed over the last year. They were both critically acclaimed films. The first I watched about two weeks ago:

My communication about IMDB ratings is clear on my scoring system but I have changed the rules. This film isn’t one I’ll watch again and it isn’t one I’ll buy. More importantly than that is the message of this film. You need to go and watch it. NOW. This film is about how a few journalists uncovered the Catholic Church SYSTEMATICALLY protected paedophile priests and helped them avoid justice. FUCKING SYSTEMATICALLY. The church KNEW about this and protected priests. The church KNEW that priests were sexually abusing kids, fucking young children, and SYSTEMATICALLY covered this up.

The message here is clear. If you are a priest in the Catholic Church and you fucked a kid in the arse then you get helped by your church to avoid prosecution and justice.

This message can’t be made loud enough to the member of the church. Every penny you give these assholes goes to help cover this up and keep priests from justice.

Yes my language is brutal. But then that’s what they did. These cunts fucked kids up the arse and got away with it. The church HELPED them. Fuck the church.

The other film I watched was The Big Short. I’m still angry.

This film explained the systematic fraud and cover up perpetrated by the banks prior to the GLOBAL economic crash of 2008. This film is odd at times, but it is brilliant. Again, it explains how people in privileged positions abused that position and how it was covered up by senior members and the government [not the church this time]. Who suffered from this? Normal people who were struggling. People who lost their homes, health and possibly lives because of the greed and stupidity of a few.

The people in power, the governments haven’t intervened to bring people to justice. They haven’t changed the rules. People have paid for this over and over. The current economy is fucked. Ordinary citizens are paying the price for our governments bailing out banks and the global finance system because the entire industry was fraudulent.

I think that’s the point. Both of these stories show how the privileged are able to escape the horrors of normal everyday life. The experiences that normal people go through don’t matter to those in positions of power and trust. Both of these films show that people are self-interested and care not for you and I.

Am I angry? Yes I am. I’m angry at the establishment perpetuating itself and those who suffer are those who can do little to change it.

Child abuse, financial crisis, NHS, tax havens, private trust funds, offshore ownership, PPI, privilege, railways, utilities – these are the things we should be angry about. These things should DOMINATE the agenda and news everyday until something is done. In a month we won’t care about Tax Havens again.

 

 

 

Read Private Eye.

Posted on

Midnight Special

I had an afternoon at the flicks. I went to see Midnight Special at Rochester Cineworld. I have, as usual, graded this film on IMDB, please see my ratings guide here.

Now, a lot of the time I watch a film and I have parts of what I write here going through my head. It’s kinda how I experience the movie. I expect that I forget most of what I want to write as I don’t take a pad in to make notes. I do take my phone but suspect I’d get kicked out for having it on all the time. Also that would distract from the film.

Things have changed recently. I no longer hear my own voice or see my website when I watch films. Rather I head Eli, Noah and Heath from the GAMCast. I hear them arguing and making jokes about puppy rape and fat people.

The GAMCast is a podcast I regularly listen to while running or driving. God Awful Movies takes three hilarious atheists and they poke fun at terrible Christian cinema. Sometimes they even take down a good Christian movie! You can find them here:

God Awful Movies

So, this film, Midnight Special. It was a nice science fiction kinda film. I enjoyed it. There were a few moments where I thought “what?” but on the whole the film held together well. The pace is nice and slow, the action and tension builds slowly. Unlike most modern films this one takes its time and ends up being quite satisfying. Well worth a watch.

There, you are. Not a great deal to say. I liked it. Perhaps you should read about films I didn’t like, I tend to write much more!

Posted on

London Has Fallen

I feel ashamed. I was told not to see London Has Fallen but still I went. I went to see White House Down and Olympus Has Fallen a few years ago and they were both quite terrible films. They seem to make out that terrorists are superbly intelligent people able to undertake huge operations involving hundreds of people. In reality terrorists are rarely that clever or good at terrorism. So, as ever, I rated this on IMDB and you should read the guide to my system here.

This film was terrible. It replaced plot and intelligence with gunfire and explosions. It didn’t make sense. Perhaps I was hoping for too much realism and not hoping enough for shooting everywhere with guns that have a LOT of ammunition. Holy crap the Gerard Butler character and POTUS seemed indestructible. If you have ninety minutes of your life that you want to waste watching London get blown up while people mill around [the background people don’t react how I would if there were explosions and gunfire] then please watch this.

So, Morgan Freeman turns up playing the Vice-President. Which confused the hell out of me as I was sure he played the president in the previous film and I spent about five minutes trying to figure out what happened politically that would cause the President to swap places with his VP. Then I remembered: that was the other shitty terror film! I was in the wrong franchise!

[So I fucked up. The other film franchise had Jamie Foxx in it. I feel like I’m a racist old fucker now. Shit, damn and bollocks. I was still confused.]

There’s an MI6 man who is part of the CATERING for the wedding at the beginning and confirms that the EVIL MAN is present, at his own fucking house. The wedding is blown up and the USA is surprised that there’s a lot of civilian death. It was a WEDDING. It was clearly a WEDDING. There was a man on the ground who was catering for the WEDDING. The overhead views CLEARLY showed a marquee and many people around who wouldn’t have been there a week before. It was a WEDDING. Anyone with half a brain would have known it was a WEDDING, you know, where lots of people gather to celebrate and probably have not a lot to do with the evil man. The explosion was HUGE. And yet evil man and two of his sons survived? Really?

There was an MI6 safe house in London. Why would MI6 have a safe house in London? They don’t do domestic. That would be MI5.

“The President doesn’t go anywhere without a satellite overhead recording him”. Really? That’s some fucking observation system you have there! I’m impressed. You can manoeuvre a satellite to make it overhead of the President all the time? Haven’t you heard of orbital mechanics?

Gerard Butler makes a hand signal that is spotted by the satellite and interpreted correctly by the bods in the situation room? What? How? What? Seriously what? I laughed, out loud, by myself, in a packed cinema.

“The terrorists have hacked into all communications”.
VP calls Gerard Butler telling him a SEAL team are on their way.
Looks surprised when a SEAL team turn up too quick and then determines they are baddies because they aren’t SWEATING. Nothing to do with brown skin and a beard. No, this film isn’t racist.

The explosion at the end was HUGE. It killed all the terrorists but didn’t get POTUS or Butler? Really?

This film replaced any form of sense and fun and action with gunfire and bullets. Too much gunfire and bullets. And I quite like action films.

My lessons from this film are that white people are OK. Black people are OK. The British are incompetent. Brown people are bad, especially if they have beards or are over 50 and look distinguished. Pakistan and Yemen are really bad. POTUS knows how to handle ten different types of gun and is indestructible.

This is a terrible film and I need to stop pointing out the bullshit.

Posted on

Allegiant

I went to Rochester Cineworld cinema to see Allegiant. This is the third in the Divergent series. I reviewed Divergent and Insurgent before. It looks like there’s going to be another of these films, I can’t wait [sarcasm]. I rated this film on IMDB and, as ever, you should read this communication about my rating system.

So, the inhabitants of Chicago get to go beyond the wall, except they don’t because the new leader, 4’s mum or something like that, doesn’t want them to. Do you know what? It’s not worth explaining the plot. It wasn’t worth it. Kids escape one city to be moved to one with exactly the same problems. It’s the same film again. Like my review for Insurgent this future world is a bit shit. It’s not thought through. It doesn’t work.

My issues with this film are numerous. Tris is genetically PURE. What the actual fuck does that mean? Is this a film that is meant to fit in with a Trump world view? If only PURE people can get up to the upper levels at O’Hare then why is everyone else allowed up there too? I think I missed something.

The people at O’Hare and Providence have awesome technology but there isn’t anywhere that has the industrial base to produce that. Where is this stuff made? How does this economy work?

Red rain. Red rain in the badlands or whatever they are called. But there’s a magic forcefield around Chicago to stop this rain from falling on them or even them noticing it when they are up in the towers looking over the badlands.

It’s not actually that far from Chicago to O’Hare airport. I know there is a force field thing protecting Chicago from seeing the airport but they never noticed all the flying things?

chicago

If the population of O’Hare is made from children stolen from tribes living in the badlands then the badlands can’t actually be that bad? If there are adults reproducing healthy children then it seems the outside is OK. Also, what do these people eat?

I need to stop. The film “looked” nice. Other than that is was poor.

Posted on

10 Cloverfield Lane

I went to see 10 Cloverfield Lane last night at the Cineworld cinema in Ashford. New cinema for me, about half an hour away, but will probably stick with Rochester in future. The screen auditorium was pretty small although busy for the showing. As usual I rated this film on IMDB but please see my ratings guide.

This film was quite good. Not sure I’d bother watching it again, hence the six. I actually jumped at the initial crash which was just embarrassing.

SPOILER ALERT –  do not read beyond.

Initially this seems to be a thriller about the main man potentially being wrong, the world hadn’t ended and he was just a fuck-head. The woman turning up halfway through disperses with the theme that it wasn’t the end of the world. After that point the film had to end somehow with this “end of world” theme.

It would have been nice for the film to play up the abduction more. I’m not sure it added enough “creep” to the main man, but then again, maybe it was just right. I think I would like to have known definitively.

Killing the young man was a cool point in the film. It showed the crazy just enough. And from there we jump to the last ten minutes. As far as I could see there was a lot of running and panic by the girl when there was no need to. I know it kept the cinematic theme but she wasn’t being threatened by anything at the time and so her panic was stupid. I liked the ending, it had to be either aliens or CHEMICAL WARFARE [cue Slayer song].

My main gripe with this film was that it would take more than an aerosol can to break a frozen brittle padlock. Just sayin’.

Posted on

Ratings

After a short discussion at work today involving films and my ratings system I decided to look at what films I had rated and what I gave them. First I had to rate True Lies. Yes, the Arnie film. I saw it twice at the cinema on consecutive evenings and have watched it since a couple of times. Therefore it gets a 10.

That then got me to review my ratings over time. I try to make sure I rate films just after I have seen them. That was you still get an “excited about the film” rating rather than one I have time to consider! Here’s the current latest list of scores:

Title My Rating IMDb Rating Year
2001: A Space Odyssey 10 8.3 1968
Akira 10 8.1 1988
Alien 10 8.5 1979
Aliens 10 8.4 1986
By Dawn’s Early Light 10 7.2 1990
Godzilla 10 6.5 2014
Gravity 10 7.9 2013
Guardians of the Galaxy 10 8.1 2014
Human Target 10 7.8 2010
Human Target: Kill Bob 10 8.4 2010
Interstellar 10 8.6 2014
La Luna 10 8 2011
Lost and Found 10 8.3 2008
Serenity 10 8 2005
Star Wars: Episode VII – The Force Awakens 10 8.4 2015
The Princess Bride 10 8.1 1987
True Lies 10 7.2 1994
Warehouse 13: Love Sick 10 7.8 2009
The Imitation Game 9 8.1 2014
A Most Wanted Man 8 6.8 2014
Avengers Assemble 8 8.1 2012
Big Hero 6 8 7.9 2014
Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance) 8 7.8 2014
Chappie 8 6.9 2015
Continuum 8 7.7 2012
Dawn of the Planet of the Apes 8 7.6 2014
Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story 8 6.7 2004
Intermission 8 6.9 2003
Kingsman: The Secret Service 8 7.8 2014
Mad Max: Fury Road 8 8.2 2015
Not Going Out 8 7.9 2006
Pacific Rim 8 7 2013
Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan 8 7.7 1982
Sunshine 8 7.3 2007
The Abyss 8 7.6 1989
The Amazing Spider-Man 8 7 2012
The Amazing Spider-Man 2 8 6.8 2014
The Heat 8 6.6 2013
The Judge 8 7.4 2014
The Trap Door 8 8.1 1984
Veep 8 8.1 2012
Warehouse 13 8 7.6 2009
12 Years a Slave 6 8.1 2013
2 Guns 6 6.7 2013
American Hustle 6 7.3 2013
Astro Boy 6 6.3 2009
Avengers: Age of Ultron 6 7.5 2015
Battleship 6 5.9 2012
Before I Go to Sleep 6 6.3 2014
Black Swan 6 8 2010
Captain America: The Winter Soldier 6 7.8 2014
Deadpool 6 8.5 2016
Divergent 6 6.8 2014
Ender’s Game 6 6.7 2013
Escape Plan 6 6.7 2013
Ex Machina 6 7.7 2015
Focus 6 6.6 2015
Fury 6 7.6 2014
Gone Girl 6 8.1 2014
Green Lantern 6 5.6 2011
Hawaii Five-0 6 7.4 2010
Horrible Bosses 6 6.9 2011
Insurgent 6 6.3 2015
Jupiter Ascending 6 5.4 2015
Lone Survivor 6 7.6 2013
Love Actually 6 7.7 2003
Machete Kills 6 5.6 2013
Man of Steel 6 7.2 2013
Pain & Gain 6 6.5 2013
Rise of the Guardians 6 7.3 2012
Scott Pilgrim vs. the World 6 7.5 2010
Selma 6 7.5 2014
Space Station 76 6 4.9 2014
Steve Jobs 6 7.3 2015
Ted 6 7 2012
The Boxtrolls 6 6.8 2014
The Danish Girl 6 7 2015
The Equalizer 6 7.2 2014
The Expendables 3 6 6.1 2014
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey 6 7.9 2012
The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies 6 7.5 2014
The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug 6 7.9 2013
The Hunger Games: Catching Fire 6 7.6 2013
The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 1 6 6.7 2014
The Man from U.N.C.L.E. 6 7.3 2015
The Railway Man 6 7.1 2013
The Two Faces of January 6 6.2 2014
The Village 6 6.5 2004
Thor 2: The Dark World 6 7.1 2013
World War Z 6 7 2013
47 Ronin 4 6.3 2013
American Sniper 4 7.3 2014
Capture the Flag 4 5.8 2015
Iron Man 3 4 7.3 2013
Jurassic World 4 7.1 2015
Lucy 4 6.4 2014
Need for Speed 4 6.5 2014
Now You See Me 4 7.3 2013
Oblivion 4 7 2013
Plebs 4 7.9 2013
Prometheus 4 7 2012
Rambo 4 7.1 2008
Riddick 4 6.4 2013
Rio 2 4 6.4 2014
RoboCop 4 6.2 2014
Sabotage 4 5.7 2014
Skyfall 4 7.8 2012
Spectre 4 6.9 2015
Star Trek Into Darkness 4 7.8 2013
The Call 4 6.7 2013
The Lone Ranger 4 6.5 2013
The World’s End 4 7 2013
Total Recall 4 6.3 2012
Transcendence 4 6.3 2014
Transformers: Age of Extinction 4 5.7 2014
White House Down 4 6.4 2013
Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus 2 2.5 2010
Noah 2 5.8 2014
Sharknado 2 3.3 2013
Privacy Policy Proudly powered by WordPress