"Nothing but the rain"
Yesterday I went to the cinema to see Twisters. I went to my “usual”, Rochester Cineworld, even though it’s in Strood and over the river from Rochester. After the film I rated it on IMBD using my rating system which you should read.
Look, I guess I’m meant to write what I thought about the film. It was alright. I guess it did what it said on the tin. Did I spend most the movie worrying about the relationship between a woman who looks 18 and a man who looks 40? Yes I did.
I went to see a film at the Cineworld cinema in Rochester yesterday. As we drove alongside the river I noticed that the tide was very low. I really should, at some point, learn about spring and neap tides, or at least the timing of them. I understand why they occur I’ve just not investigated when they occur. After the film I rated this on IMDB. You should see the ratings system on within this communication. I can’t get the code to share my rating because it used to be on Twitter and I left that hellhole many years ago. So, below is the average user rating from IMDB. I rated this film 6/10.
I didn’t hate this film. I didn’t really love it either. It kept my interest for its entire 135 minutes runtime. I did find myself constantly thinking why apes were the main characters and whether this film would be any different had all the cast been “human”. If it was set as ginger haired people against the rest of the world would it have made a difference? Is it ok to watch this as the apes being lead characters makes it ok rather than problematic. I do get that the whole premise is apes rule the world. That makes sense. But this was just a film with characters and their development. Maybe people wouldn’t see it if this was a human based story.
I quite liked it I guess. I am still thinking about it and I guess that makes it a good thing. However, I am thinking more about an episode of Dr Who, 73 yards, and trying to get my head around that more than I am this film. Like, why was the name of that episode in imperial units? Couldn’t they have made it 73 metres. There are bigger issues with that episode and so I will have a look online to see if there are answers.
I went to the Cineworld cinema at Rochester to watch this film. It was a wet, murky, dank day. The tide was high with ripples tickling the wharf, the river looked imposing. After watching this film I rated it on IMDB and in the past I would have tweeted my result, but I don’t to Twitter anymore so I’ll just have to write the result here, and it’s a shocker, I gave this film 4/10.
I think I probably need to explain my rating, especially as I rated part one very highly. This film looks absolutely amazing. The cinematography is gorgeous and I reckon you can take any part of this film, put it in a frame on your wall and be proud. The film looks serious and sumptuous. The sound is excellent, I would have liked more bass-vocalisation stuff like the sentence at the very opening of the film, but it was so good I considered buying the soundtrack.
I think my problem is the story. And possibly Chalamet being not a great actor. And possibly an inability to tell two of the actors apart. And possibly the sexism, I don’t know. Maybe this should be rephrased to say that the problem is the story. I don’t think it’s my problem. Let’s start with the easy point.
We get introduced to the Emperor’s daughter, she may have been in the first film, I’m not sure. This lady is being manipulated by the Bene Gesserit to do their bidding and to work towards the “grand plan”. Shortly after her introduction we see a lady with very similar features discuss with the Bene Gesserit about how she seduced the Harkonnen nephew and that a daughter is assured. For most of this film I thought the pregnant woman was the emporer’s daughter and I found it quite confusing. From looking at IMDB there were two actresses playing different people.
There will be people saying this story has strong female characters but to me they were all witches whispering in the background to get the future they want. The men had all the power. Men are celebrated. Women work in the background and do their things sneakily, not out in the open and by fighting. This isn’t a positive look for the women of this film, it conforms to stereotypes.
The lessons from this film are that to maintain power and have freedom you have to be a man who fulfils prophecy and marries for political reasons rather than love. Oh, and you have to be as macho as fuck and kill your opponents in hand-to-hand combat. I hated the aspects of this film that glorified the feudal systems in society. My problem is that we still live in a feudal society where the rich and powerful maintain that money and power by giving the masses “democracy”. Yes, we vote. But money speaks and until we have a society where everyone has the same chances from birth and we actually care for each other then I will find these stories of power ridiculous and enraging.
Prophecy is a poor writing technique. It means that you can only succeed in life if everything is pre-destined. This is how the powerful like us to believe the world works. There is no caring about people in this type of society. There is no “working to be successful”, there is only pre-destiny. I hate this type of writing. I hate this type of story. I understand why people do it, but it’s bollocks. Don’t have your main character being born under the fifth moon of the year, have them actually work for it, have them call out the belief bollocks and have them care about people. In this film we see Paul turn from being a rich brat into a rich brat with an army of religious fanatics (mirroring Bin-Laden?). He is still a privileged twat who forgoes love for power and macho-kudos.
This film, nay story, envelopes everything that is wrong with current society and our mostly European views of history. Kings, Dukes, powerful Houses. Deference through birth right. Power through duels. Mating for politics. Using the poor as your army through religion. All of these things are bollocks. It left me cold. It left me wanting to tear down the fabric of our society and show people how they flock around their leaders as if we owe them something.
I have found a review of this film that resonates with me and I have ended up with the review in Private Eye. Issue 1619. Find it, read it. It makes sense.
I went to the cinema to watch the film Argylle. There wasn’t much else on and although I wasn’t that bothered about seeing it, the film was the best choice possible. The Cineworld cinema at Rochester is alongside the river Medway and this part of that river is tidal. For a reason lost to time this is important as I now mention that the tide was low when we arrived at the cinema. I could see all of the mud banks at the side of the river. It was a lot higher when we left and travelled home.
After watching the film I rated it on IMDB and there’s a system for the ratings, you should read that here. I used to then tweet the result when I was on Twitter but I left that platform when Musk took over. It had already descended into a whirlpool of the worst of mankind and I’m glad I left because there’s only so much hate I can tolerate. I rated this particular film 4/10. It was a borderline 6 but it didn’t hold my attention enough and I only thought the film was worth watching for one particular scene.
This film was just about ok to watch. There were many plot “twists” along with many time when I wasn’t really following what was happening or who to trust. This was a Hollywood film and so it all ends up very happy. I’m not sure if I’d recommend this to other people, maybe only if they have a little time to waste and don’t mind a silly film.
My one recommendation is that everyone watch the scene where the two lead characters shoot their way out of the evil lair. The use of smoke in this scene was inspired and it looked amazing. It’s well worth watching that scene alone, but you don’t need the rest of the film that surrounds it.
Well, this has been a while. I can’t even remember the last film I saw at the cinema so this review will probably not follow the standard procedure. I can tell you that I observed the tide on the way to the cinema and the tide was low. I could see all the mud banks along the Medway. As is customary I scored this film on IMDB and because I have deleted my twitter account I can no longer place those shared scores on this as an embedded picture. So, I rated this film 8/10 and you should read the scoring system here. I am able to share the average review score:
So, now to the review. I find it curious that Cineworld emailed me to let me know this film was subtitled. When I checked with them before they said it stops people moaning at them once they realise they have to read actual words. There was a small child in the cinema and I don’t think they could read well and they got bored and made some noises throughout the film, but then that’s not really their fault, the parents should have been more thoughtful about their child’s experience.
I really enjoyed this film. I really liked the placement in time and place. End of the war Japan, which is when Godzilla first appears. The politics was very interesting and I think it’s interesting to see the burnt out results of Tokyo following the bombing by the USA. The overall story was fantastic, if a little sentimental, but it showed the social conventions and character development over time. The human story was, as ever, really important to the story and the monster is almost a by-product.
The fight scenes were great and I really enjoyed every aspect of this film. I will watch it again, but I’m not sure I’d pay money to do so, hence this film scores an 8. This is a good film.
I had a small window of spare time today and so I went to the cinema to watch “Men”. There are details I need to enter before we get to my review. First the tide was nearly full. I couldn’t tell if it was waxing or waning but it was close to high. Also, the M2 eastbound was at a standstill and I don’t know what that was about but I hope that people are safe. I didn’t travel that way as I don’t like having to go to the top of the Downs just to get back down the other side. I used the “new” bridge which has probably been in place for many years now. After the film I rated it on IMDB and there’s a page that covers the rating process here. Then, I tweeted the result:
I rated Men (2022) 6/10 – IMDb – https://t.co/sB7WhFF4kj
— Ian Parish (@iparish) June 5, 2022
Earlier today I had tried to screen grab a walk around of the new Minecraft base but the screen recording wasn’t working properly so I’m a little miffed by that. Perhaps I’ll try again tomorrow. I think what I’m trying to do is delay writing what I thought about the film. The problem is I don’t know what I thought about the film. I genuinely spent the last twenty minutes wondering what the fuck it was that I was watching. I wonder if the film was trying to be too clever, although having read the Kermode review in The Guardian I think my interpretation was in line with theirs. I think I’m reminded of Mother but less so, as I didn’t mind this particular film.
I might come back and write some more at another point but honestly at the moment I don’t think I have anything else to add.
I went to see Everything Everywhere All At Once at the Cineworld cinema in Rochester. Usual observations on the tide soon but this is the forth film review in a row and I’m worried I’ve run out of shit to say! I’m going to have to make up some rambling communication to try and get out of this rut. I wonder if quite a bit of this has to do with the world at the moment. I’m bothered in no particular order by Ukraine, Boris Johnson and our ever more fascist government, Human rights in the USA, the climate being absolutely fucked. It does feel as though we are living through the warning signs of future shit that will one day be taught in history classes around the world. These were all the signs they will teach and the kids will be like “how couldn’t they see it coming”. The problem is some of us can see it coming and I’m not sure what I can do. I currently give money to various lobbying organisations I think deserve it. I’m almost in the mental position of having to try to do the best to survive in the hellscape that is coming, I don’t have the energy to fight.
As I drove along the riverside I looked to see that state of the tide and it looked very low. I could see the dips at the end of the mud bank, I could see a lot of the withies. This film was shown in screen 8 and that’s my favourite because it has the best seats and plenty of space. I think I’ve been to see a film just because it was in that screen! They don’t tend to put kids films in there so my offspring have only been in there once. I wonder if I’ll go and see Top Gun Maverick again at the cinema? I don’t think so. There’s an issue with films feeling a little too long for me and I wonder if that’s a me problem rather than reality. I’m going to try and get some information soon. After the film I tweeted the score I gave it on IMDB, for a discussion or explanation of the scoring system see this communication.
I rated Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022) 6/10 #IMDb https://t.co/3U9BeIflla
— Ian Parish (@iparish) May 29, 2022
I really liked this film. It was wonderfully original and thought provoking. Absolutely great fun and laugh out loud in certain places. It’s a very good take on the multi-verse theory. It’s funny how some things are absolutely abstract or appear nice because of mathematics and then they go and appear in popular culture. My current fascination is that wormholes might exist. If they do then they might lead to another part of the universe. If they do that then we might be able to travel them. You ask the person in the street what a wormhole is and I’m sure they’ll think they are real and we know for sure what we can do with them, we just have to find one. Back to this film, it had set pieces which were wonderful and the story was great. I loved the introspective feel of the thing. The rocks were my favourite I think. How great was that? Rocks.
This film felt very slightly longer than I wanted and as I mentioned earlier I wonder if that’s a “me” issue rather than film itself. For a good seventy five percent of the film I was going to be hitting this one as eight stars on IMDB but something happened in the last twenty minutes or so and I downgraded to a six as I left the film. I don’t know why. I think it’s a “me” thing but that’s what this rating system is, a “me” thing. The rating system exists for me to rate a film on a consistent scale. The system has lasted nearly ten years so I think it’s worth keeping! I enjoyed this film and it was refreshingly different.
After writing my review of the Dr Strange film I went to the cinema to see Firestarter. Why did I go see this film? It was the only film on that I felt like seeing, there wasn’t a massive amount of choice. But it would do. As I drove towards the cinema I had two opportunities to observe the state of the tide. The first happened when I drove over the Peter’s Village bridge. This view gave me the impression the tide was high but for a more finer grading on that I have to wait until I get to the cinema. The tide was indeed high but not covering all the mud bank so I would say around ninety percent height. I didn’t know whether the tide was rising or falling, the evidence for this would have to wait until I came out the cinema and could confirm by the changes.
After watching this film I rated it on IMDB. This was an odd experience as the metascore from critics was a lot lower that I had thought it would be. I opened the IMDB app on my phone and entered my score. It would appear I’ve moved the average up a little!
I rated Firestarter (2022) 6/10 #IMDb https://t.co/j7WnJWkxWF
— Ian Parish (@iparish) May 22, 2022
I quite enjoyed this film. I thought it made a pleasant change from the religious horror type film that I’ve seen recently. There was enough backstory within this movie to make it interesting. I enjoyed the overall plot. I think it worked quite well in telling a story, the characters worked well. I’ve a couple of gripes; who gets over the death of his wife in zero seconds? Should there have been more mind-reading? Why did the lead male have to crick his neck? Do people really bleed from the eyes?
The tide on the way out of the cinema was higher than when I went it. So two hours earlier the tide was ninety percent and rising.
I took a small car journey to the Cineworld cinema at Rochester – not in Rochester – to see the film The Northman. As I arrive on the esplanade I check the state of the river to see how high the water is. This gives me an indication of the level of tide in this area of our watery world. The tide was low. I think it’s about time I started plotting the relative positions of the Sun and Moon to Earth in these communications to lend more of a visual representation of what a high or low tide means for this section of our Solar System. I will have a search for some software that gives me what I need, or, I could just figure it out somehow.
After the film, I pondered for quite a while before settling on a score to rate this movie on IMBD. There is a whole communication covering the rating system and it is here. I then tweeted the result.
I rated The Northman (2022) 4/10 #IMDb https://t.co/2x49btsZoz
— Ian Parish (@iparish) April 24, 2022
As you can see from my score I didn’t really like this film. I keep thinking about it and what I didn’t like. I’ve even read some reviews of the film online to try and understand what it was that made this considered a good film. I have also been questioning my own taste in films and what do I expect from them. What does a film have to have for me to think it is good and has that changed over the (many) years of my life?
I didn’t like this film. I didn’t enjoy the story and I didn’t like all the mystical bullshit that was put into the story [that’s probably more my problem than anyone else]. I can admire the colour schemes and general cinematography but that’s only worth being excellent when the story is also excellent and I hated the story. I might have to include spoilers ahead because I’m not sure I can review the film and put over my objections without mentioning particular aspects of the story. So be warned.
There are spoilers ahead in this paragraph. Apart from the weird mother son part which I just shrugged at I was most annoyed by the fact that the whole story was for nothing. The Northman’s journey and needing vengeance was partly to make amends for his father’s killing but also the taking of his mother. Who, as it just so happens, had planned the whole thing. When our anti-hero discovers this I don’t think he questions his role in life and on this planet. He almost does the right thing which is to head off into the sunset with his pregnant lover but he doesn’t he goes back to make sure we get an excellently cinematic final fight off. There was always going to be one ending.
I know the film is based on folklore and most of that stuff is fucked up but I just don’t think it worked. The film felt like a 300 for this age. Vikings done stylistically. I hated the story.
So, yesterday I took the short trip to Cineworld at Rochester to see the Sony Marvel film Morbius. I had booked to see something about a lost city but have decided to see that film over the weekend. I might try and find somewhere with a 4DX cinema to watch a film as it’s been a while since I’ve seen one of those. Luckily for me Ashford Cineworld has been upgraded to a 4DX. Unluckily for me Ashford is at the other end of Operation Brock – the massive queue of lorries on the M20 trying to cross the channel. I start these communications by saying what state the tide was in as I approached the cinema and I can tell you it was low. All the mud bank was showing, the barge was in its own little pool and the water was very low. See this picture.
After I watch a film at the cinema I then rate it on IMDB and there’s a whole system about how that works. See this communication about how I decide what score to give a film. Then, when I am active on Twitter, because I have times when I remove the app from my phone – it’s not a healthy place to be -, I tweet the result to my millions of followers so they can see what I thought.
I rated Morbius (2022) 4/10 #IMDb https://t.co/Lk1wH0IGDz
— Ian Parish (@iparish) April 13, 2022
So, what did I think of this film? It was boring and unimpressive. I wonder if we’ve reached peak superhero? I know that I generally don’t like superhero films and this one was one of the worst I have seen. It was all pretty standard and just “meh”. There are a couple of things I made a mental note while watching to try and remember to write about and so here we go: Morbius’ pin is the “last six digits of pi” reversed and I wasn’t sure whether to burst out laughing or not at this. Was this deliberate or a pure accident? Pi, when expanded in decimal number system, is an irrational number and so there isn’t a last digit of pi. Was this a clever joke or a stupid mistake? I’m not sure. Morbius requires human blood but there’s no explanation why it has to be human. The bats don’t drink the blood of other bats. Why would he need to drink human blood? This didn’t make sense. Also, at the end of the film his girlfriend – who appears at first just to be a co-worker but then they kiss on the roof tops and that was definitely NOT mentioned before that point – turns into a vampire thing because Morbius bit her. What? How did that happen? Why did that happen? This movie is a load of crap. Oh, and at the end in the final big fight the two chaps seemed to fall a good few thousand feet off a building which wasn’t really that high. I’ve no idea how this happened. Oh, Morbius gets a lab from come counterfeiters but then doesn’t really use that place for anything except building a centrifuge which he could have ordered from Amazon a lot easier.
I did watch Joker recently on Netflix after Smith recommended it. I was told there isn’t really any superhero stuff in it. This was a good film. Joker is more a social commentary than DC film and there are plenty of lessons within. Don’t waste your time with Morbius. Watch Joker instead.