Tag: ratings

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King Of Thieves

Last night I went to Rochester cinema [not in Rochester] to see King Of Thieves. It was dark so I don’t have any information about the state of the tide for this communication but I can tell you it was raining. I can also inform you that the JD was very pleasant while waiting to go into the theatre. I did see a really cool device developed by Guinness that took a poured glass of Guinness from a can and then made bubbles appear so it looked like a draught pint. This device is apparently called a Guinness Surger and I will let you Google that for yourself.

I rated this film on IMDB and you should sneak over to this communication to see how the system works.

Well, that seems quite a low rating for a crime caper! I just didn’t really like it. This movie starts off with likable characters trying to get one over on The Man. Although that is what they have always done, being professional thieves. But, you see, this means they are scum bags unwilling to work for the things they want. Stealing isn’t a thing to be celebrated, even though we love those movies. I would also rail against those who make money by taking advantage of people. I’ve a simple mantra in life, let’s be nice to one another.

In this film you have what looks like a bumbling group of old guys with a lovely camaraderie who slowly develop and show their greed and mistrust of each other because they have always lied. They start playing off against each other. They just aren’t nice people. You see, thieving:

IT’S NOT A NOBLE OCCUPATION.

It’s for assholes and scumbags driven by a sense of inequality. Whilst they are right to have that sense of inequality they should be trying to change things through the proper channels, not breaking the law. Arrrgh, I’m stuck now because the law works in favour of those with money and those who take advantage of everyone, especially while the Tories are in power.

Do you know what? Go and watch the Jonathon Pie thing on iPlayer. That’s good.

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An IMDB Ratings Update

Many of the communications within this domain are based on films I have seen or television episodes. Whenever I go to the cinema I rate the film on the IMDB website. You should see this communication which will explain my scoring rationale. A good thing about the IMDB site is that you can download your data.

So, here’s an idea of what how many times I have used each score.

Now, the odd scored films are a worry and definitely against my general rules. The film that scored 9 was The Imitation Game and the shittiest film that scored a 1 was God’s Not Dead 2.

The mean score of my ratings is 6.36 and this compares to an IMDB rating mean score of 7.05. I don’t know what this tells us.

The top of the table is here:

I’m not convinced that the TV Episode and TV Series scores should be in there, but can’t be bothered to remove those rows from my spreadsheet. Now, I know you want the list of the bottom films so here they are:

A couple of religious films at the bottom, possibly not a surprise, but then maybe they could have made good religious films instead. I’m not against religious films, they are just badly made. And then there’s the Sci-Fi. It’s a shame that some Sci-Fi is terrible, but terrible exists in all genres.

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Passengers

I’m a sucker for a space film. I love the possibilities, the stars, the tech. It just can look sooooo cool. Quite often these films leave something lacking and aren’t that good. I saw Rogue One and yesterday I watched Earthrise from Amazon Prime.

Because I watched this at home it doesn’t get an Official Parish Rating. So it was with a nerdy interest in tech and space that I went to see Passengers, I wanted to see stunning vistas and how the film-makers had dealt with the ravages of space travel. As is custom I rated this film on IMDB and you should read my guide to the rating system.

It was a perfectly enjoyable film and worth seeing, it had just the right amount of humour but I do feel that the moral issues could be covered more comprehensively in a separate film. This wasn’t a film about morals though. It was a space action thriller and as such it functioned perfectly well. Now, after here, there be dragons.

I had some minor issues with it, but not as many as with this film. So, if we allow hibernation, then we just need to look at the rest of the film to see what liberties they have taken. Mind you, coming out of hibernation looks a lot like CPR, so the travellers were more dead than deep sleeping.

The artificial gravity system seemed to be based mostly on centrifugal force [YES, I KNOW – this is why I don’t allow comments on this site]. The idea that a spinning thing in space would stop spinning when the power is switched off doesn’t quite ring true, momentum and inertia etc. But, then this does allow some pretty good visuals.

Why would little things go wrong if the spaceship was dealing with a big problem in the reactor core? I’m not sure this part of the film rings true. It bothered me a little. But, I was willing to let this go.

The swimming pool. I’m pretty sure that if the gravity was provided by the rotation of the ship then the stars outside the window were rotating the wrong way. I’ll probably have to take a few more looks at this scene but it upset something in my head and I spent a while moving my hands around in the air trying to get rotations correct. The hemispherical window was an awesome idea though.

Only one medi-pod for a ship that size? Bullshit.

When gravity suddenly turns off (?) most things will just stay where they are unless there is an impulse to them. The water in the swimming pool would have rode up the sides of the room when the spinning stopped. The sleeping characters would have moved very slowly if at all as they don’t have any forces acting on them. I refer you to Newton’s First Law Of Motion.

There are other bits and pieces but they are largely inconsequential and do not show off my understanding of sciencey shit. I do think that a film covering the morals of “living murder” would be very interesting if written by someone talented.

Oh, Arcturus. The space ship sling-shots around Arcturus. I don’t have a problem with that per se, but the ship did seem pretty close to the star. It would have fried to a crisp and everyone would have been killed by the intense radiation. While this allowed for pretty visuals [based on the SOHO observations of our own sun] the radiation shielding would need to be metres thick. Arcturus is a pretty darn big star coming in at 25.7 times the diameter of our piddly little star The Sun. It’s also 36.7 ly away and the spaceship in the film had been travelling for 30 years and had just reached 0.5c so the film makers could have done some better sums here I feel although we don’t know if the time measurement is absolute [physicists would laugh at that concept] or relative.

Last thing: The company that owns the starship made x quadrillion profit we are told. I am pretty sure that Aurora [!] then explains that a quadrillion is “a thousand billion”. I may have misheard this but a quadrillion is a million million using the US naming system. Aurora was talking about a trillion which is a LOT less money.

Quadrillion [US] – 10^12
Quadrillion [UK, but not common] – 10^24

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Rogue One

This feels like a hard communication to write and for people who are interesting in not knowing anything about this film please consider this a warning that there are going to be many spoilers.

I took a trip with some science type friends to see Rogue One, the stand-alone Star Wars movie set in between film episodes three and four. I went to the Odeon cinema in Maidstone which was fine. As is a custom now I rated the film after watching it on IMDB, you should probably read this communication about the rating system and you might also be interested in this one about Star Wars Episode Seven.

I think I ought to explain this rating as a six is pretty low. Episode 7 got a ten by default but the more I think about it the more I feel I should have been more honest with myself. I’m not sure it would get a 10 now, even though I own a copy. Rogue One will probably be purchased which would default the score to a 10, but in reality the film was a little bit shit.

The Best Thing About This Movie

Do Not Read On (mostly because it is poorly written)

The best thing about this movie and quite likely the only good thing about this movie was the droid K-2SO. I would have quite happily listened to him much more throughout the film, he was the only character who seemed to have a sense of perspective, or even character. He was voiced by Alan Tudyk who has been in some of my favourite shows.

I was slightly bothered that there were no floating words telling me what had happened and that we didn’t get the Star Wars opening theme. Start with a child disobeying her father and then watching her mother killed, obviously you need psychological trauma and daddy issues to be a hero. Then we have little sequences on lots of planets that I couldn’t give a shit about and we learn that the Empire is making a massive weapon.

This film seems to be consistent with conspiracy nuts in that it believes you can have a massive infrastructure project and keep it secret from everyone, even though everyone knows this is being built. Also, it seems that the entire galaxy knows that a cargo pilot has defected with information and he needs to be debriefed.

I spent a large amount of the first act worried about intelligence gathering in a age when the whole galaxy has access to rumours and ideas. I just didn’t like it.

Then the heroine gets rescued and debriefed / interviewed in the Rebel fucking control room in front of the senators and all the bloody equipment. You DON’T put prisoners in the control room, what shit.

Then some stuff happens. I may have to come back and fill this in once I’ve seen the film again. Perhaps I can over my prisoner logistical problems.

Then we have a scene in the control room again where the Rebel senate appears to be discussing ALL the details about the secret plans in front of everyone including every pilot and vaguely important person. “The secret plans are held on this planet” etc. Arrrrrgh.

There’s a blind monk who chants shit about the force, but the film maker clearly shows him using his hearing to work out where things are, he doesn’t use the force. He’s a charlatan.

Let’s invade a planet and make it look like a Vietnam War film, that’ll keep the dads happy. I seriously felt like I was watching a ‘nam film. Bloody palm trees.

Why was there a random shutter opening and closing at the top of the data tower. WTF? It makes absolutely no sense that it is there, apart from trying to appease kids who watch and play computer games and need to get the timing correct.

So, you build a massive tower to store all your plans for every building in your Empire. Then you need a transmitter which you just happen to build on top of your tower. Finally, you place a data reader and transmit controls OUTSIDE at the TOP of the tower. Not somewhere safe inside the building. WHY would you do that? Why would you put a control system in a place where the weather will get to you? AND then you place some of the controls on the end of a platform sticking out from the tower. Fuck this movie.

I quite liked the ending.

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Ratings

After a short discussion at work today involving films and my ratings system I decided to look at what films I had rated and what I gave them. First I had to rate True Lies. Yes, the Arnie film. I saw it twice at the cinema on consecutive evenings and have watched it since a couple of times. Therefore it gets a 10.

That then got me to review my ratings over time. I try to make sure I rate films just after I have seen them. That was you still get an “excited about the film” rating rather than one I have time to consider! Here’s the current latest list of scores:

Title My Rating IMDb Rating Year
2001: A Space Odyssey 10 8.3 1968
Akira 10 8.1 1988
Alien 10 8.5 1979
Aliens 10 8.4 1986
By Dawn’s Early Light 10 7.2 1990
Godzilla 10 6.5 2014
Gravity 10 7.9 2013
Guardians of the Galaxy 10 8.1 2014
Human Target 10 7.8 2010
Human Target: Kill Bob 10 8.4 2010
Interstellar 10 8.6 2014
La Luna 10 8 2011
Lost and Found 10 8.3 2008
Serenity 10 8 2005
Star Wars: Episode VII – The Force Awakens 10 8.4 2015
The Princess Bride 10 8.1 1987
True Lies 10 7.2 1994
Warehouse 13: Love Sick 10 7.8 2009
The Imitation Game 9 8.1 2014
A Most Wanted Man 8 6.8 2014
Avengers Assemble 8 8.1 2012
Big Hero 6 8 7.9 2014
Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance) 8 7.8 2014
Chappie 8 6.9 2015
Continuum 8 7.7 2012
Dawn of the Planet of the Apes 8 7.6 2014
Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story 8 6.7 2004
Intermission 8 6.9 2003
Kingsman: The Secret Service 8 7.8 2014
Mad Max: Fury Road 8 8.2 2015
Not Going Out 8 7.9 2006
Pacific Rim 8 7 2013
Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan 8 7.7 1982
Sunshine 8 7.3 2007
The Abyss 8 7.6 1989
The Amazing Spider-Man 8 7 2012
The Amazing Spider-Man 2 8 6.8 2014
The Heat 8 6.6 2013
The Judge 8 7.4 2014
The Trap Door 8 8.1 1984
Veep 8 8.1 2012
Warehouse 13 8 7.6 2009
12 Years a Slave 6 8.1 2013
2 Guns 6 6.7 2013
American Hustle 6 7.3 2013
Astro Boy 6 6.3 2009
Avengers: Age of Ultron 6 7.5 2015
Battleship 6 5.9 2012
Before I Go to Sleep 6 6.3 2014
Black Swan 6 8 2010
Captain America: The Winter Soldier 6 7.8 2014
Deadpool 6 8.5 2016
Divergent 6 6.8 2014
Ender’s Game 6 6.7 2013
Escape Plan 6 6.7 2013
Ex Machina 6 7.7 2015
Focus 6 6.6 2015
Fury 6 7.6 2014
Gone Girl 6 8.1 2014
Green Lantern 6 5.6 2011
Hawaii Five-0 6 7.4 2010
Horrible Bosses 6 6.9 2011
Insurgent 6 6.3 2015
Jupiter Ascending 6 5.4 2015
Lone Survivor 6 7.6 2013
Love Actually 6 7.7 2003
Machete Kills 6 5.6 2013
Man of Steel 6 7.2 2013
Pain & Gain 6 6.5 2013
Rise of the Guardians 6 7.3 2012
Scott Pilgrim vs. the World 6 7.5 2010
Selma 6 7.5 2014
Space Station 76 6 4.9 2014
Steve Jobs 6 7.3 2015
Ted 6 7 2012
The Boxtrolls 6 6.8 2014
The Danish Girl 6 7 2015
The Equalizer 6 7.2 2014
The Expendables 3 6 6.1 2014
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey 6 7.9 2012
The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies 6 7.5 2014
The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug 6 7.9 2013
The Hunger Games: Catching Fire 6 7.6 2013
The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 1 6 6.7 2014
The Man from U.N.C.L.E. 6 7.3 2015
The Railway Man 6 7.1 2013
The Two Faces of January 6 6.2 2014
The Village 6 6.5 2004
Thor 2: The Dark World 6 7.1 2013
World War Z 6 7 2013
47 Ronin 4 6.3 2013
American Sniper 4 7.3 2014
Capture the Flag 4 5.8 2015
Iron Man 3 4 7.3 2013
Jurassic World 4 7.1 2015
Lucy 4 6.4 2014
Need for Speed 4 6.5 2014
Now You See Me 4 7.3 2013
Oblivion 4 7 2013
Plebs 4 7.9 2013
Prometheus 4 7 2012
Rambo 4 7.1 2008
Riddick 4 6.4 2013
Rio 2 4 6.4 2014
RoboCop 4 6.2 2014
Sabotage 4 5.7 2014
Skyfall 4 7.8 2012
Spectre 4 6.9 2015
Star Trek Into Darkness 4 7.8 2013
The Call 4 6.7 2013
The Lone Ranger 4 6.5 2013
The World’s End 4 7 2013
Total Recall 4 6.3 2012
Transcendence 4 6.3 2014
Transformers: Age of Extinction 4 5.7 2014
White House Down 4 6.4 2013
Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus 2 2.5 2010
Noah 2 5.8 2014
Sharknado 2 3.3 2013
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IMDB Ratings

I am considering re-adjusting my IMDB ratings. When I see a film I tend to give it a rating on IMDB [btw – I remember IMDB when it was a little web project at Cardiff University]. I am slowly coming to the conclusion that I need to change my scoring system for these films and I am actually considering using even numbers only.

I have been worrying about what the difference between a 5 or a 6 might be. Also, Restricting the scoring to just the even numbers will mean that I have to consider the film and try to be more realistic. If I currently give something a 6 or 7 what does that difference show? What would be the difference between a 3 or a 4? I just don’t know. The scale of 0 to 10 seems too big for these things [especially as I’m not taking the mean of lots of scores].

I also think there is a human tendency to give middle of the road scores when we think something is average or even below par. If you have seen Come Dine With Me, you will be aware [or will be after this] that when the contestants don’t really know how to score a meal or want average then they tend to plump for a 6 or 7. Their words describe an evening that is probably below par but their score is one that is not meant to offend [6 or 7] but is really rather damning. I want to call this the “Come Dine With Me Fallacy”, which would mean that sub-optimal experiences receive scores that are perceived as “average”, rather than risk offend or come across as a nasty [but realistic] person.

So, at some point in the near future I am going to adjust my IMDB ratings. I will only use the even numbers [thoughts: I need to check if I can score a zero].

Have returned: I can’t score a zero on IMDB. That is not good. So, the default scoring system means that even the poorest film ever made will receive one star. This causes some problems. But I shall try to get around that. So, my new system goes:

  • 10 Stars – I loved this film, I would pay to see it again in the cinema and maybe buy it to keep [Apocalypse Now, Star Wars, The Fifth Element].
  • 8 Stars – A good film which I certainly probably will watch again [The Rock, Independence Day].
  • 6 Stars – While it was enjoyable at the time it is not a film I will spend the time to watch again [The Railway Man, Hunger Games], this might include films I think were really good critically but not ones I’d see again.
  • 4 Stars – I only got to the end of the film to see what happened but I’ll admit it was poorly made and rubbish, maybe this is a good “bad film” [Titanic II]
  • 2 Stars – [lowest possible score] I gave up watching this film before it had finished. I hated it [Sharknado]. I left the cinema [I would have left the cinema had someone not been in my way – Van Helsing].

I shall update this or write a new communication once I have updated my scores using this crib sheet and let you know which films I struggled to pigeon-hole.

Addendum

I have just started looking at my IMDB ratings and have decided that I will use the above scoring system BUT please understand that I am now using the “Will I watch again?” criteria and this is a personal thing, very subjective. I am able to spot a “good critically acclaimed film” but think my ratings should reflect my intentions about the film and not what I think the wider world will think (1st March 2014).

Further Addenda

I have just realised that this means that any film I enjoyed but won’t intentionally watch again ends up being scored a “6”. Oh, the irony, given I complained about the “Come Dine With Me” fallacy earlier. But, in my favour, I have declared that my scoring system will be 2,4,6,8,10. This means that a score of 6 is the mean and median of the scoring values. When reading my film scores you need to understand my system which I have at least tried to communicate here.

Even More Addenda

These are my latest (updated) scores using the system explained above. I don’t care if you think otherwise about some of the ratings.

IMDB Ratings 1
IMDB2
IMDB3

Human Target appears twice because I rated an individual episode as well as the whole series.

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