Recently in a discussion with a group of friends D ended by saying that all was quiet on the southern front. He lives in Offenbach and so, therefore, not that you know just yet, he lives furthest east of that particular group of friends.
Some Friends – Map
So, D gets the furthest east and also south but not by a great deal. I’ve got some calculations to do in a minute. J lives in Saltash and is clearly the furthest west, and close to being the southern most!
Now some numbers:
J – 50° 24′ 21.78″N
D – 50° 6′ 32.47″N
The north-south distance between these two is:
0° 17′ 49.31″
Which turns out to be 33km.
I was more interested in who is the furthest north and by how much. The numbers for those, are:
Me – 51° 19′ 5.60″N
A – 51° 20′ 6.24″N
You can see that’s pretty close. The north-south distance for these two is:
0° 1′ 0.64″
Which turns out to be 1.872km.
It’s much closer than the difference between the other two, but I am neither the most north, south, east or west. Boo.
[The domiciles of D and J have been approximated but with 33km between them that’s not particularly an issue].
I’ve become quite philosophical about traffic jams. Rather than get annoyed and irritated I now realise there’s little I can do and so I relax. It is highly unlikely that I will lose lots of money through a traffic jam [being late for an appearance on Dragon’s Den maybe] and it is also rare that I have to be somewhere at a very particular time. As I work in education you might consider that I should be at work for the start of the day and normally I am there with plenty of time to get a coffee, do some photocopying and prioritise my emails.
This morning was a little different. Maidstone is updating and improving the bridges gyratory in the centre of town. This means that occasionally they have to close the roads overnight so they can get the work done. This morning they failed to get the road cured on time and so there was a delay in opening Fairmeadow, possibly the most important through road in Maidstone.
This delay meant the two lane traffic was heading around the prison which is a single lane carriageway. Thus there ensued chaos. Well, not literal chaos but lots of cars going into not a lot of space and therefore lots of congestion.
It took me ninety five minutes to drive eight miles, the first four of those I covered in about ten minutes, the rest was Maidstone. I am happy to accept these delays as the improvements to the junctions will be worth it. Also, the extra time in the car gave me more time to listen to the Skepticrat podcast. Warning, there’s swearing a-plenty in this podcast and it’s political with a liberal bias. What else would you expect?
My general thoughts on traffic jams are that they normally mean someone is having a far worse day than you. Relax, there’s nothing you can do.
To give you an idea of the traffic chaos here’s a shot from Google maps:
A Bad Morning
I am going to find another map for you, possibly a larger version with a little more detail, but it would serve you well to see a version of a “normal” morning to compare, so I intend to do that also.
So, having said that here is a map of today, the next day, a day when the roads are working “normally”. Here you go, enjoy:
Yesterday I sauntered to Twickenham. It was time to see another NFL match as part of the NFL International Series. Normally these matches are at Wembley but I was interested to see Twickenham as I had only been there once before for a Bon Jovi concert. I followed Google Maps all the way there, even though that meant going around the North Circular. Once I found the car park I had to allow security people [who I assume know what they are looking for but I doubt it] to look in the boot and under the bonnet of my car. These “security” steps annoy me as they aren’t evidence based.
Fuck having my car searched because I’m parking somewhere. Fuck you.
Then I walked the short distance to the stadium and boy is it a fucking ugly stadium:
I waited for my ticket to arrive and had food. The pre-game show was performed by Craig David, it was shit. Then there was the national anthems and time for the annual “Jason having a moan at Ian” thing. I don’t stand for anthems. I don’t understand why I should. I also don’t get the patriotism associated with anthems. They annoy me. While it has nothing to do with the blacklivesmatter movement I’m not against their movement. I wrote some stuff here. I’ve probably written loads of stuff about my feelings towards patriotism but you can search for it yourself.
The match was interesting. Not the best one I’ve seen but good enough to justify the money I spent on the ticket!
In the final quarter we were hoping that the Rams would score and bring the game to a tie for overtime. That would have been quite exciting. But they threw an interception in to the end zone with about forty seconds to go. Such a shame, but a good afternoon anyway. I supported the Rams as I had previously when I saw them at Wembley. They are the first team I have seen twice. Also, Rich couldn’t be there and he’s a Rams fan so it made sense to support them. I would never support the Patriots. It is quite possible I have seen the Jaguars twice but the following should clear that up.
I am now going to attempt to log the games I have seen so that at least I have some form of record.
2008
San Diego Chargers @ New Orleans Saints [New Orleans won and are my team following this match]
2010
Denver Broncos @ San Francisco 49ers [49ers win]
2011 – I’m reasonably sure I saw the Bears this year, but am not sure.
2012
New England Patriots @ St Louis Rams [Patriots won – boo]
2013
San Francisco 49ers @ Jacksonville Jaguars [49ers won]
2014
Miami Dolphins @ Oakland Raiders [Dolphins won]
Detroit Lions @ Atlanta Falcons [Lions won]
Last night I took a little journey to The Garage in Islington to watch Aesthetic Perfection. Now, Mesh were the headline band and I had listened to them in advance and I didn’t like it or find it particularly interesting. I was primarily there to see Aesthetic Perfection and to take my niece out for her birthday. It is a good thing that AP tend to tour once a year because that makes her presents easy to organise. This is the second time she has seen AP and my fourth.
The first band on were called Empathy Test, which I have a suspicion is a reference to Blade Runner and Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep? However, they weren’t much to my liking. There was a singer, two keyboard – programmer types and a drummer. All their songs were well constructed and perfectly fine but not enough to get me going.
Empathy Test
Next up were Aesthetic Perfection. I like the Garage as a venue, the roof is nicely curved and I remember seeing Front Line Assembly here a few years ago. The sound was impressive and clear with a stage and rig more suited to music production than Electrowerkz, although Electrowerkz wins in coolness of a venue.
Aesthetic Perfection
Because this was an acoustic set there wasn’t a drummer and I missed that a bit. I do think that a live drummer adds quite a bit of organic sound to a set. Now, I know they started with Antibody and played more songs but I can’t remember what all the songs were. I should have written them down as they played. The set was good, but missed Spit It Out and Motherfucker, which are songs I do enjoy.
What was nice about AP being second on the bill was that I could get home at a sensible time, but not sensible for a Sunday. It was a very good gig, not quite as good as at M’Era Luna last year but still pretty good. The rest of the Garage seemed to appreciate it also. Especially as I think AP’s music is a little more harsh industrial that the electronic of Empathy Test and Mesh.
Daniel Graves – AP
Final band on last night were Mesh. Obviously many of the crowd had come to see this band, there were lots of Mesh t-shirts being worn. I decided to listen to a couple of songs. The first was OK and the second was just OK. I didn’t think it was anything special but I did like the stage set up. They had four 1m square LED screens made to look like a mesh of wires which was quite clever. It wasn’t enough to keep me there. We left.
Mesh
In the picture you can see two of the large LED mesh based displays.
It was a very nice evening. We will hopefully see Aesthetic Perfection again next year.
Just two pictures of a local vineyard for you. The ground is chalky and “south” facing. Most of the vineyard slopes upwards south to north. What this means for the flavour of the grapes and the ultimate product I have no idea.
While I may have gone on about the new bridge and road system around here a little bit that might indicate just how much the bridge changes things for what used to be a quite isolated part of Kent sandwiched between two major conurbations. I do think the new bridge will change that.
Part of the road changes that happened also mean a number of road speed limits have changed to reflect the expected increase in traffic and to reduce the risk of accident [I assume].
Here’s a map of the roads that had a previous limit of the national speed limit:
Previous National Speed Limit
The newer safer speed limits have reduced the 60 zone down to the following:
Current 60 Zone
This has kinda taken the “fun” out of driving these roads but I guess they are safer now and quite often people would dawdle along at 40 and then NOT slow down for the villages to 30 because they are wankers.
The construction company have put in new road signs but the one at the end of Bull Lane is obscured by branches until you get quite close. This picture shows the BEST view of the sign you get.
I have communicated with you a little about the new bridge. I have now had the chance to test distances to the Post Office where, brilliantly, parcels are taken even though it’s far away by road.
The old distance is shown below. So, 15km is just over 9 miles.
The new distance, measured via car this morning, is 4.8 miles. The new bridge saves a journey distance of four and a half miles. I think that’s quite substantial.
I went for a run, which isn’t that unusual, but this one included the new bridge [see this communication]. I had already run over this bridge yesterday but for got to use the recording app on my phone.
I had a run, but forgot to start the tracking software. Which is a shame as it would have recorded me running on water. 13km completed.
Today I remembered but I didn’t want to run up the Downs on the west bank of the Medway. This new bridge is pretty close to where the Romans crossed and invaded the island of Great Britain many years ago. The bridge isn’t really on any maps yet and so the route recording app will have me either:
Running over the water like the Jesus Christ Lizard [I wasn’t going fast enough and probably couldn’t].
Walking on water like Jesus Christ [which didn’t happen].
Getting a boat with a chicken a fox and some corn [takes 24.5 journeys if you do it wrong].
The title of this communication does not refer to the more frequent sea passage in the Northwest of the globe. The fact that this passage is becoming a more regular occurrence should scare the fuck out of all of you. Anthropogenic Global Climate change is happening and the speed is increasing. The biggest problem is that all the damage has been done already. Because the effects are long term and not pleasant and will cost a fucking fortune to sort out it’s not the sort of thing politicians really want to talk about. As far as I can tell this planet is fucked. It isn’t going to get solved and our grandchildren will be suffering as a result of this. Fuck the self-interested assholes who “govern” the countries. Fuck them and the short-termism of politics.
Bridges
The bit in the middle of the map, bounded by the river, the A229 and the two motorways is a lovely area to live in. I have written about it before see this communication. To get to Snodland, which the Post Office thinks is the best place to take my parcels, is a 9 or 12 mile journey ONE WAY. This is largely because of the river and the location of bridges over the river.
A new village is being built on brownfield site in the three villages area. There will soon be four in the valley. While I understand the need for more housing I do think the character of the valley villages is going to be ruined. Currently the villages are largely working class Victorian homes built for the workers of Burham Brick Works. There’s a certain look and feel to the villages. The brand new village will be large, expensive homes. My chip on my shoulder is back! I have found myself getting annoyed recently at the stratification of society and the problems that causes. Anyway, back to the journey to the post office lest this writing become another rant about the uselessness of politicians and the social engineering they mess with [along with fucking the planet].
Part of the deal for these new houses was a new bridge to be built. This will allow most of the traffic of the new village to not go past the junction to my village. But in reality that’s bullshit. What may happen is that the local country roads become over run with people cutting through along the bottom of the Downs. We shall see. My village is already planning a zebra crossing because of the expected extra traffic.
New Bridge
The new bridge is in place and opened recently. I drove over it this evening and took a photo. Already the road seems busier [anecdote and confirmation bias]. I will run that way tomorrow. Normally running along that stretch I would be passed by about 3-4 cars during the mile I am on that road. It will be interesting to see what happens. While I like the idea of the bridge I am not happy about what it means for those who live around here.
The New Bridge
So I now have to spend the next few months behind non locals who think the road [at the split] is two way because they haven’t paid attention. My patience could be tested.
I will keep you chaps updated about what happens. I predict a serious crash at the Bull Lane / Pilgrims Way junction within a year and then traffic lights or a mini roundabout will be installed.
A weekend during August meant it was time to travel to Germany again and the beautiful town of Hildesheim. In 2015 Smith and I went to the M’era Luna festival. This year we had tickets earlier, the tunnel booked earlier and also a plan! Except the plan had to be adjusted as Smith was flying into Brussels on the Friday morning. I spent the Thursday evening packing the car ready for the weekend and got up early on the Friday to head down the M20 to the Channel Tunnel. Last year there were problems with Operation Stack and this year the M20 was fine although the scene of a fallen pedestrian bridge a few weeks later.
I don’t care how old you are if you wear a baseball cap while driving you are a knob.
After the tunnel I headed to Brussels, which wasn’t that far off the route we needed to get to Hildesheim. There are two main motorway routes that head to the industrial heartland of Germany’s Ruhr Valley and one goes via Brussels, the other via Antwerp. So the first three hours of the journey were completed on my own, with podcasts and talking books for company [I don’t do music on long journeys].
Smith sent a message saying he’d meet me in P1 level 3. Well, I wondered while traversing the Ring if that is what the signs on approach to the airport would say or would they be in another language or missing entirely. Fortunately they did and we found each other easily. A quick adjustment on the iPhone Googlemaps app and we were heading to Hildesheim past Leuven.
Not a great deal of note happened along the way until we got close to Bad Oeynhausen when the app was telling us that there was a 90 minute delay and would we like to go a different route? Well, yes please. So we left the A2 motorway, where speeds reach in excess of 110mph, and headed cross country to Hamelin and then Hildesheim. I think that all in all the journey was about eight hours, which isn’t that bad for five hundred miles. All we now had to do was load up the trolley and walk about a mile from the car to the festival entrance, find a spot to camp, put up the tent, eat food and drink. We camped almost exactly as we did last year, about as far from the main festival as possible. This meant it was reasonably quiet and the toilets weren’t over run.
Runway 07
Friday evening meant wine, Jägermeister and Absinthe. This was possibly a little silly as Saturday was quite hard work for me. Although there is no live music on the Friday evening there is a disco in one of the hangers and plenty of stalls open along with the Medieval Village where you can practise your ax throwing, should you want to.
The weather wasn’t as hot this year compared with 2015. The forecast had 25C or so which suited me fine, the 33C of last year was too much. The night was good and Saturday morning meant a walk along the runway to showers and coffee. Not at the same time but I needed both. The shower marquee was pretty good and had lovely hot water to clean away the hours of travel yesterday. The queues for coffee were pretty long and I wondered whether it was worth bringing a stove to make a coffee each morning but it feels quite sophisticated drinking coffee in the morning sun on the taxiway of an airfield waiting for the outfits and music.
M’era Luna is cheap enough that if you just come along to display your costume and make up abilities then you don’t have to worry about the music. With Download coming in at about GBP200 the GBP80 for M’era Luna seems a bargain. It’s also small enough to feel cosy and pleasant. Getting ready for the day’s activities this year was a little more time consuming this year as Smith and I had plans for costumes, also it appeared there was a naked selfie competition on WhatsApp with a group of friends started by Walshe! These photos still exist in the ether but they are not going to be published anywhere public.
I should probably get on to the music with that being the reason for driving five hundred miles an’ all. But first there was getting an outfit on! Because Suicide Commando wasn’t playing on the Saturday it meant we dressed in white shirts [shock horror!] and Ayria ties bought when we saw her play at Electrowerkz.
. Bringing the spirit of @ayria to #mera16pic.twitter.com/bJ9wmfwMv1
And so on to the music. I seem to recall saying last year that the little details disappear from my mind and so what follows is mostly just a list with my thoughts at the time. Some of my favourite bands will appear with more details. There are two stages at M’Era Luna, the main stage and the hanger stage.
Saturday
Shaargot [main stage] – good industrial metal.
Vlad In Tears [hanger stage] – shit.
Erdling [main stage] – goth. shit.
Time for lunch.
Gothminster [main stage] – killing a zombie on stage during the first song. Bat ventriloquism in the second. What the fuck is going on? Left to the hanger stage.
Gothminister
A Life Divided [hanger stage] – caught the last song. pop metal.
Chrom [hanger stage] – the first band I was really looking forward to. I liked the music but they were boring. A shame.
Chrom
Stahlmann [main stage] – dressed in silver. female guitarist. slow goth rock. couple of faster ones, ok.
Noisuf X [hanger stage] – three blokes. White shirts. Two drumming. Heavy EBM. Good.
Cassandra Complex [hanger stage] – listened to this stuff before we went. Sounded ok. Turns out that live it’s just goth shit.
Oomph!
Oomph! [main stage] – Good German pop rock. 2 guitars, keyboards, percussion, drummer. Bass and singer.
Hamatom [hanger stage] – from outside hangar. Faster metal. Masks. Ok. A little derivative! Should be more dangerous given masks.
Apocalyptica [main stage] – Pretty good given it’s men with cellos. Too many Metallica covers.
[:SITD:] [hanger stage] – Solid good set. This was actually a pretty good set and they played well. Very good to finally see this band.
[:SITD:]Die Krupps [hangar stage] – Fuck yes! Playing metal pipes. Breaking guitars. Industrial well done.
Die Krupps
VNV nation [Main stage] – 1 song. Boring. I’ve listened to a lot of this at home and I like it. But only at certain times. It’s gentle music. The sort to put on when having dinner.
Hocico [Hanger stage] – Actually pretty good. Big sound. Two percussionists with black Angel wings!
Sisters of Mercy [main stage] – Bad. Dull.
And there ends the first day at M’Era Luna festival 2016. It was a good day. Plenty to see and the surprises of the day were Hamatom and Oomph! for me. I enjoyed both. Not to say I hated all the others, I just liked these two more. Oh, and Die Krupps were pretty awesome along with [:SITD:]. Hocico made a better impression that when I saw them previously at Electrowerkz, but still didn’t quite manage brilliant.
Morning time means the usual hunt for coffee. Showers and packing up the tent. Sunday’s plan was to pack up camp and then drive a couple of hundred miles after the last band. We had a date with Eurotunnel at about midday on Monday and we definitely wouldn’t make it if we left Monday morning. We walked the mile or so to the car and then got dressed in the costumes. Again we were dressed in white.
Droogs and the suicide crew!! #mera16pic.twitter.com/GTj4o4Ovsg
Me The Tiger [hanger stage] – Pretty good. One song. Good.
Aeverium [main stage] – Female main singer, sexy. Heavy. Male singer. Good contrast.
Rabia Sorda [hanger stage] – Rock, a bit pop? Guitar with keyboard sounds over top. Ok. Nothing special.
Rabia Sorda
Heldmaschine [hanger stage] – Ok. Industrial. Correction very good.
Centhron [hangar stage] – Live bassist. Good. Shame we left early.
Combichrist [main stage] – Darn good. Pit. I’ve seen this band many times and they haven’t failed to impress although I do prefer their earlier electronic work! [go to 3:24 in the video and there I am!]
I was there! M’era Luna 2016 – Combichrist live/ https://t.co/ACue1uLPaG
Zeromancer [hangar stage] – Sat at back. Sounds ok.
Eisbrecher [main stage] – Drunk girl talk, orange hair. Late on stage. Very good. Speaks too much. Liked the set and the black suits. Left early to see:
Suicide Commando [Hangar stage] – Live drummer. Excellent. Including song: Die Motherfucker Die.
Suicide Commando
In Extremo [Main stage] – 1 song. Fucking medieval rock.
Had cup of tea. Listened to Within Temptation. Went and got some food. Left.
We travelled just inside Belgium and parked the car up and slept for a few hours before waking, driving to a service station for coffee and then getting to Calais for the Eurotunnel and home. We chatted about music and costumes for next year. I’ve got some ideas but I need to learn about mammal skulls first.
It’s hard to sum up the entire weekend. Almost every aspect of it was brilliant. The journey, the chatting, the alcohol, the food, the vegan food server with her lovely freckles, the coffee, the costumes, the music, just being away and feeling like I was at home.
There may be more to add to this but it has taken a long time for me to get around to writing this so I will publish this communication. Changes and added bits will be noted as such.
![[:SITD:]](https://fooyah.net/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/20160813_171145112_iOS-1024x768.jpg)
