Tag: review

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Pet Sematary

I’m having a cup of Earl Grey tea as I write this because for some reason I want Earl Grey tea. I’m not sure why but I had to go and buy a box of tea bags just to satisfy this craving.

This afternoon I went to the cinema at Rochester, the Cineworld one, the one I always go to, and I watched another horror film. I’ve a number of things I want to talk about here but first there are some formalities to get through. The tide was quite low and I did’t take a photograph this time but I did look at the lovely murky water as it journeyed past to the Thames Estuary.

I also rated this film on IMDB. I then used the app feature to share my opinion with the world because I know the world wants to know what I think.

So, the things I want to say are in broadly two themes. The first is what I thought of the film the other is why I think I dislike horror movies.

I haven’t read the book and I haven’t seen any other film version. So, this film was a bit shit. But that might because of what I write in the next paragraph. My issues are the following:

  • IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH A PET CEMETERY. A cat nearly gets buried there. That’s it. All the rest of the action happens upon a special fucking hill which people only go and visit when it’s night time because otherwise they’d see it’s just a hill. WITH STEPS. This place you aren’t meant to go has STEPS.
  • This is surely a love story? The ending seemed perfect for a sort of “let’s get together” type of film. I’m not sure I was meant to empathise with  anyone, I didn’t really. I did like John Lithgow though, it’s hard not to.
  • A cat being evil isn’t a surprise. We all know they can be evil fuckers. It didn’t really seem that evil in the end. It just scratched someone.
  • They did kill a kid and well done to the film makers.
  • Trees aren’t scary.

While I was watching this film I was trying to work out why I don’t enjoy horror movies. It’s not like when I was a young teenager and I saw loads of classics and each one affected me quite a bit back then:

  • The Omen (all parts)
  • Poltergeist
  • Amityville
  • And probably a few others

I think I struggle with these themes now because I don’t believe in any form of soul or afterlife. I don’t believe in anything after death. There’s no evidence and all religions which offer the afterlife are cons.

I am subject to jumps and foreboding but I think in horror films it’s not done subtly enough for me. It’s obvious when there’s going to be a pop-scare. The music seems too leading, I guess these slasher flicks seem to grate rather than entertain. I mean, if you lived in this sort of universe you’d fix up all lights and basement rooms during the day time and make sure everything worked well in the house. Who’d walk around a house in the dark when they hear the noises of the undead?

Do you know what I watched last night that was better than the last two films I saw at the cinema:

UNDER SIEGE

It was amazing. I enjoyed every minute of it and I have every time I’ve watched it since seeing it at the cinema in 1992. There might be too many bullets in each magazine but as films go it is great fun. Well done to those who made it. It still works well twenty seven years later [it hurt writing those numbers]. Except Steven Seagal is clearly a nutter now.

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Master Of Confusion – Gamma Ray

In reality this is a Helloween album. I think it’s Kai Hansen playing guitars and then the sound is more “Helloween”.

So, I’ve just been over to Wikipedia and I’m not sure what’s going on. This album is named for Gamma Ray on my music collection but it isn’t in the list of titles by Gamma Ray on their Wikipedia page. This means it might really be by Helloween [which is almost the same thing].

Fuck. It’s not on the Helloween Wikipedia page either. That’s me a bit bollocksed there then. Now the next thing is to search for the title rather than the band name. Perhaps I’ll try Kai Hansen.

Now I’m lost. It’s not on his page either.

The album is playing as I write this and bugger me if they haven’t covered “Death Or Glory” by a NWOBHM band which I’ve heard many times on a album collated by Lars Ulrich. However, the search isn’t going well to figure out this album because now I’ve search for “Death Or Glory” and all I’m getting is a song by The Clash and it’s NOT THAT ONE.

The next song has started and it’s a ballad bullshit thing. It’s called Lost Angels and sounds like it too.

Right, I’ve solved the Death Or Glory problem, it#s by a band called Holocaust, of course it is.

Back to searching for the album artist that I’m listening to at the moment. This review is causing pain and effort. Originally I was just going to write:

It’s typical Helloween and I haven’t listened to it much.

Jesus! That took some time. But now I’ve found it. The album is actually an EP with only a couple of new songs and some live versions of other songs. Here’s the Wikipedia page. Oh, it has three sides to the EP. Because, of course it does.

My next challenge is to try and find the NWOBHM compilation that Lars Ulrich put together as there’s a load of great songs on it.

MasterOfConfusioCover.jpg
By Source, Fair use, Link

On my previous communication I forgot to mention that I have finally completed the L section of the reviews and now I’m on the M bit, I mean I know it’s obvious but it feels like an achievement.

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Maiden England ’88 – Iron Maiden

Honestly, I bought this a few years back because it’s a recording of the first concert I went to. Except it isn’t. I saw Maiden on 10th December 1988 at Wembley Arena and it was spectacular. This recording is them at the NEC in Birmingham. I think I’ve played it once.

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Lovesexy – Prince

Wow, two albums in the “L” section of this as I trawl through my stuff alphabetically. The main this I remember about this album is that it was recorded on a tape which had Bon Jovi and then went straight into this. I’m not sure they go together but that tape was a product of its time, around 1990 in my lifescale.

There are two songs which strike me as best on this album and they would be: Alphabet St and Lovesexy. I don’t listen to this album often, it is however most definitely a summer sound. It’s worth a listen.

As I had a taped copy of this originally from SR I didn’t know the format of the album and when I got the CD version I was annoyed that the whole album is listed as a single track. I spent quite a while finding software to break the album into individual tracks but I go there in the end. I now have this as a digital copy on the NAS. It’s there forever. Unless there’s an EMP, in which case we are all fucked.

I can remember this tape playing as I drove cadets to a band competition in the late 1990s. I had this playing in the minibus and we were all singing along to Bon Jovi and then Prince started playing. I quite liked the contrast but it was not universal!

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Loveless – My Bloody Valentine

I got this after a friend recommended it as a highly rated album. I knew it wasn’t metal but I wasn’t sure what it was. I can tell you that I would describe it as haunting blurry music with distortion. I can’t decide if it’s actually any good. It sounds like it comes from the early 90s and they are a band trying to make a name for themselves as being different and not the usual Manchester lot.

I guess that first paragraph is rather vague but I have listened to this quite a bit and it might possibly be summer music but it’s not one I rush to. I also haven’t looked up anything on Wikipedia [which I will do after publishing this] so I can’t be held accountable for anything I’ve said which accidentally is true.

It’s worth a listen but probably best while high?

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Love Symbol – Prince

I don’t thin that as a metal head it’s wrong to really like Prince. This album comes after Diamond and Pearls and was when he changed his named to a squiggle.

There is a level of funk in this album which is delightful. I don’t listen to this album as much as Diamonds and I think that’s because the latter has more of a personal connection, I did see Prince on tour at Earls Court.

Turn the bass up and play this loud on a sunny day and it can’t do anything but brighten your life.

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Look What The Cat Dragged In – Poison

I can remember a poster of the singer of Poison on the wall in our sixth form centre at school and I couldn’t tell if he was a he or a she. It’s good that these things matter less these days and most people don’t really care, be what you want to be. I haven’t seen Poison and that may be a good thing, I dread to think what the audience would be like.

This is classic terrible 80s rock and it’s brilliant. This is an horrific look at the culture of cock-rock and what it does to a generation. I love this stuff but at the same time I can inform you that it is terrible [sorry Pom].

This album has some classic songs on it and everyone would be singing along.

My problem now is trying to imagine four chaps in their sixties with balding heads running around in drag-queen make up singing these songs. It was and is a product of its time and is a bloody good examples of that time.

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Lodestar – Lodestar

This band was a spin-off from Senser. The singer and a couple of others created this album and toured for a while in 1996 or so. I can’t remember when I bought this album. The wiki page for them seems to indicate they are a prog-rock band but it’s not as boring as prog rock and quite upbeat. I enjoy it and some of the songs run through my head now and then, the sign of a good album. It’s worth a listen.

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Us

Yesterday I drove to the western half of Kent to see the film Us. I had to cross the Medway, much like the Romans about two thousand years ago but without the battle and invasion part. The cinema I went to is the Cineworld at Rochester. I picked the film Us because it was lowest on the list of films I’d least like to see that were being shown.

M2 Eastbound Medway Bridge
M2 Eastbound Medway Bridge

If you look carefully at the picture of the bridge you can see the work done to strengthen it. It has been reduced from four lanes to three due to the increased sizes of lorries allowed on UK roads by previous governments leading to a drop in rail freight and an increase in traffic. You can see the tide was middling.

As is custom I rated the film on IMDB and tweeted the result, this communication deals with the rating system:

I rarely go to see horror films because most of the time they are stupid. Once you accept that supernatural stuff is just that – outside of natural and therefore doesn’t exist – you find ghost stories quite terrible. I’m still working through what I thought about certain aspects of this film, I guess it has got me thinking.

This film crossed many genres and I was surprised by that. But overall I found it a little boring and tired. Maybe I’ve seen too many of these types. Maybe I haven’t seen anything new for a long time. The reason I went to see this was I had heard it was meant to be pretty good. Shortly I am going to read some proper reviews to see what they say, to gain some insight into why other people thought the film really good. I can’t write too much here without spoilers.

There was a bible passage mentioned a few times throughout this film, it was Jeremiah 11:11. This is what it says:

Therefore this is what the Lord says: ‘I will bring on them a disaster they cannot escape. Although they cry out to me, I will not listen to them.

Not sure what it’s about but it does seem that the Lord is being a bit of a malicious prick.

I suspect this film is full of metaphor and I’m just missing the point.

 

I have just been and read the review of this film written in The Guardian. I don’t think there’s a great deal of insight in the review. It got 4 stars and I’m not really sure why.

UPDATE: I found someone who’s better at metaphor than me so if you want please read Eli Bosnik’s blog post.

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Lving Proof – Live In Chicago – Wishbone Ash

I bought this album because I heard somewhere that the lead singer of Iron Maiden said that this band were one of his influences.  I have listened to it and quite enjoyed it, but it is generally slow and not metal. It’s good for having on in the background on a summer’s evening while sitting outside.

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