This week doesn’t seem to have been as bad as the one a fortnight ago and I’ve generally been well although I think my relationship with food is struggling a little and I had a day of monster-eating. I starting shoving food down my throat after trying to exercise and getting the shakes. Not sure what that means I probably need to check with Doctor Google but it led to me eating a LOT. I guess if that happens once a week that’s not too bad but I’m terrified of putting on weight that I’ve worked so hard to lose. I don’t want to head backwards. It’s bloody hard getting mass to go away and while I know I have to be in the right headspace I also know I will be rather irritated with myself if it starts going back on.
Yesterday I was in work supervising keyworker pupils and I didn’t see too many other people which was deliberate. I also didn’t really have the free time to wander and chat. It would have been nice to see how others are doing. It is my duty to remove myself from circles of potential infection, especially in ME15 where the government are carrying out extra testing, and I should keep myself and my family safe. This also helps keep the community safe by removing vectors for the disease. It’s not just about me and those closest to me. It’s about society, it’s about the tribe.
I keep thinking about spending money. But I don’t know what I want. I also have nearly everything I could want. So it seems silly to want more. I would quite like a Garmin Instinct Solar and oddly recently I’ve been toying with the idea of an iPad or similar such thing. But I suspect that’s just because I would like a gadget. What would I use a tablet for? Browsing the internet and social media while I think I’m watching TV? I already know that multitasking is not a real thing and so I don’t want to encourage myself to spend more time looking at bullshit. I’ve been trying to cut that shit out of my life. It doesn’t do good for people. I think I just want something shiny and new. With my birthday in a month that might form enough of an excuse but we shall wait and see. It has to be something that will make a positive difference to my life. Maybe a PS5? Are they in stock anywhere? You see, the problem with that is that I would really only play one game and that isn’t out for that platform yet.
Other things that have happened this week. I’m trying to get used to having my PC mouse on 9000dpi. I think by trying to learn new skills I can keep my brain going well. Rather than just think 1500dpi is enough I want to try and keep some dexterity along with thinking about cognitive issues in the future. That’s a touch depressing I suppose but there you are. I bough a new lampshade for the lounge. It’s PlayStation themed and looks good. I’m happy with it and I’m happy to have spent that money on the person from eBay who has a good product. I bought some photos from a favourite seller on eBay too. They are of the Avro Vulcan [which doesn’t really bother me] but also a couple of the RAV VC-10 and I do think that is a very sexy plane. It’s also the first jet powered aircraft I ever flew in and holds a special place in my heart.
I’m practising X-Plane following a checklist and am hoping to post that video to YouTube sometime in the future. I’ll be flying the Beechcraft Baron on a simple circuit around the Lake District. The next thing I need to learn is basic navigation instrument techniques and to serve that purpose I’ve printed off a book from Airbus on those techniques. It might help. It might not. It’s always good to keep making the old dog learn new tricks. I need to buy a folder for the document but I have at least hole punched it. I borrowed a hole punch while I was at work and I woke in the night convinced that I didn’t take it back to where I borrowed it from and I left in the room where I was supervising students. I think I’m going to have to send a silly email asking the next person to check for the hole punch and return it for me. Which I might have already done but I have zero memory of doing that. Mind you, memory is a harsh mistress.
This week I’ve bough a few musical items. An album by Feindflug which is mostly instrumental and good for when I’m working. It’s a good purchase. I’ve also bought the latest single by Aesthetic Perfection called “Party Monster” it’s ok but not as good as “S E X” which was his last single. Leaether Strip is also releasing an album in a month or so and I’ve pre-ordered that. There’s something about his music that seems really primordial and is good stuff.
Lastly, how do you know if you are meditating correctly? I have no idea at the moment.